A brotha posted a thread on my forum, The Cocoa Lounge, called “10 Rules To Keeping Your Man”. The post has gotten a lot of attention and has men and women both sides of the issue heated. I shared my thoughts in the post and then decided to bring the topic to Brown Sista to see what those of you who aren’t registered on the forum have to say. You can read the rules on the next page and do check out this post on the forum to see what others are saying.
Lesson #1: Have sex! Frequently! Sex releases all kinds of nifty hormones that literally keep you healthy…it’s great stress relief, and a great way to show affection.
Lesson #2: Cook from scratch. There’s nothing like coming home to some good smells. Our sense of smell is most closely related to memory, and the good smells create good memories.
Lesson #3: Don’t sweat the small stuff! If he leaves bootprints coming home from work, for goodness sakes don’t yell at him for it! It’ll take about 10 seconds to wipe it up…it’s not that big of a deal.
Lesson #4: The less you ask for, the more he will give. If you don’t give him grief, he’s more likely to want to keep you around and want to make you happy and see a smile on your face.
Lesson #5: Rub his head. I don’t know why, but men really like having nails grazed along their scalp. I guess it feels good and relaxes them…you get those nails done anyway, put them to good use.
Lesson #6: Let him watch sports! Most households have more than 1 tv, so if you really hate them, remove yourself to another room and watch Oprah or something. He doesn’t come bug you at the salon during girl-time, so don’t bug him when he’s pursuing guy-time.
Lesson #7: Bake. Most men cannot resist the smell of hot sugar…he will be hanging over your shoulder on a Sunday afternoon swiping cookie dough or apple slices that were supposed to go into the pie first, then his stomach (which has led to many laughs in my home).
Lesson #8: Don’t hold any housework you do against him. In this day an age, nearly everything is automated…dishwashers, clothes washers, dryers…it’s not backbreaking labor, and it’s not a good bargaining chip.
Lesson #9: During a fight, avoid the words “I FEEL” like the plague. First off, you should choose your fights wisely over something that actually matters, and when it matters, you should be able to bring up an objective argument, not a subjective one. He will respect you more for it, and is more likely to concede after cooling off IF you’ve made the better point.
Lesson #10: Be extremely nice to his friends. Men love to show off their women…let the buddies do the ego-stroking for you. He’ll come home preening over you, I guarantee.