Is it just me or does it seem like being a woman can suck sometimes? And I’m not even talking about the nagging monthly reminder (that can sometimes be a blessing lol) that we get. I’m talking about the roles and responsibilities that we never seem to dodge.
The life of a woman is destined to be complicated. No matter what road she takes or what type of chick she is. It seems like we’re damned if we do and damned if we don’t.
Last week I had drinks with one of my closest guy friends to celebrate my birthday. Everything was like always until the conversation shifted to why I’m still single. It was never a problem before. I was always that cool chick. The chick that could hang with the guys and the girls. The chick that could throw on a dress for ladies night or slouch on the couch with the guys for Sunday football. Go Ravens.
Somewhere along the line I missed a memo or two. Turning 25 was bigger than a milestone, it was a danger zone. At least that’s what he said. Apparently from this moment on my priorities should shift to finding a man, marrying him and having his children. Apparently I need to do all of that before 30 because then the danger zone becomes a death sentence. Ouch.
I knew all of that. I’ve heard it a millions times. But it never bothered me. When the time is right for all of those things—it’ll happen. Right? That’s the way I look at life but according to him and the statistics, most women like me are in a danger zone. There aren’t enough men to go around and I can’t afford to be picky.
I’m not blind. I’ve looked around my offices. I’ve seen the successful women in their thirties who have everything except the man, ring and kids. I’m sure they were once where I am now saying, “that won’t be me.” But what am I supposed to do? Grab the next man that pays me some attention, pay for his flight to Vegas, jump the broom and urine on a stick? Geesh.
Just a couple of years ago my family and friends (including him) were telling me to take my time, enjoy life, travel, date and get my career on and popping. Now it seems like I’m in a tug of war with the expectations of a being a woman and it feels like it happened overnight. I know I’ve had 25 years to prepare for this but I’m not ready. At least I’m not forced to be ready.
Being a woman sucks. It doesn’t matter how far we go in life, we’ll always be defined by those three things. I get it, I really do. I want those three things but only if they’re meant for me and only when they’re meant for me.
Is that too much to want? I don’t think so. I know its risky but so is settling down too soon. I mean, have you seen the divorce rate?
At the end of the day I just want to live my life without a constant reminder of my age and statistics. Now I know why women lie about their age-it’s a quick way to buy time. Well at least publicly.