I am a Black woman, my friends are Black women, my family consists of Black women. For those reasons I am especially protective over my other sistas and try to look out for them and their growth. So when I see them engaging in behaviors that are counterproductive to their growth and makes them look foolish I want to run over and scream “what the hell are you doing?! Stop it!” These are some behaviors that I see some of my sista’s engaging in. I know that women of all races may take part in some of the behaviors. However, I am writing this for my sistas as I stated earlier. I’m asking the readers not to take any of the items listed as an attack. It is not. I want us to all do better. Feel free to add more.
1. Booty Tootin.
If I never see a picture with some chick poking her ass out so much that she is going to break her damn back I will be overjoyed. If you are sexy then there is no need to TRY so damn hard. Besides, we all know that you have an a**. There is no need to put so much focus on it as if that is the only thing you have to offer. Is it?
2. Showing Your Stomach When You Shouldn’t Be.
If you have had three or four kids and have the stomach to prove it. Don’t show us. You can still dress sexy without having your gut/stretch marks/c-section scar visible. Keep it classy.
3. Wearing Tight A** Clothes.
There is the size you are and the size you want to be. We know our bodies the best and that means that you should know by a certain age what fits your body type and what doesn’t. Wear clothes that fit the size you are. Not the size you would be if you lost 10 to 20 to 50 pounds. (please refer to #2)
4. Putting Crazy Colors In Your Hair.
There is nothing wrong with dying your hair to a suitable color. Switching it up for beauties sake! Or adding in highlights that you think will match your pretty complexion. However, looking like Rainbow Bright by the head is never sexy on a grown woman and it takes away from the natural beauty that all women have. When I see women like this I want to ask them “Is your hair a color palette?”
5. Yelling At Your Kids Like They Are Grown Ass People.
I hate when I see mothers usually young, screaming and hollering at their children for the smallest things like having to go to the bathroom. Uhm, he is three, that is what they do. Eat, Play, and use the bathroom. I know sometimes kids can be ridiculous and get out of hand, so there is nothing wrong with discipline. However, yelling at them like they owe you money is too much. It boils down to you really not wanting to be bothered with them and resenting them. This is your problem not theirs. I especially hate to see my sistas do this because we are already stereotyped as being welfare mothers with a house full of kids. Why give them more ammunition?
6. Saying The Phrase “you know what I’m saying” Over And Over In A Conversation.
This is something that I see men do as well but it irks me even more when a woman does it because it makes them sound masculine. I suddenly want to call you Tyrone. It may seem bias but I don’t care. I realize that it sometimes is because of a lack of education or simply because they feel there is lack of better words for them to use but it still irks me. It makes you sound uneducated, even if you are.
7. Having An Unexplainable/Unnecessary Attitude.
I know that women of all races can be bi**hes at times but I especially hate to see a fellow sister in a store or public environment unnecessarily being the biggest bi**h she can be. Now, sometimes you have to pull out the bi**h card as a last resort, however not ALL situations call for you to “check” someone. Sometimes keeping your cool while speaking your mind sets a more long lasting impression and you can still be taking seriously. Unfortunately we live in a society where Black women have a stigma that they are bi**hes. There is no need to unnecessarily perpetuate that stigma. Especially in situations that do not call for you to pull out the bi**h card. You should however, keep it in your pocket for sake keeping!
8. Being Obnoxiously Loud
This one is special to me because I notice this in some of my sistas but the strange thing is that they are usually older. Some feel that they have been ignored or treated badly so they speak loud as hell to appear tough or strong. Case in point the character Nee-Nee from the reality series The Real Housewives Of Atlanta. Every time she feels even slightly threatened or wants to prove her point her voice becomes louder. She resorts to screaming at someone at the drop of a hat. I am not the biggest fan of the show but her behavior on the show makes me think that i would not want to be bothered with her in real life. As an older established sista she should be my example right? She is not. This behavior does not make you look strong, prove your point or make anyone want to listen to you. It just proves the stereotype that sistas are unnecessarily loud and obnoxious when angered and makes you look like you are so weak that you will resort to foolishness to cover it up.
For More: yeahshesaidit
By: LJ Knight
see sistas every day acting a fool.
I think these behaviors are reflected in music videos so much so that I can’t stand to watch them. Everyone’s a supermodel, everyone’s fierce, everyone’s booty tootin’ with poses and looking ‘hard’, wearing questionable outfits that are ‘the trend’. I swear if I see another chick at the supermarket wearing a leotard and NOT enrolled/having just come from dance class? Umm no. We got to do better. Have some respect about ourselves; cover up and be classy ALL the time.
I agree w/ all of this. ugh smh!
i think the same thing, i agree wit everthing you said
I already know where this is heading lol.
@ Kanyade
you REALLY she women in supermarkets with leotards on???..???
This is EXCELLENT!!!
Not intended to be mean or condemning, but a harsh reality of how we’re viewed and actually act (The unnecessary/unexplainable attitude for sure!).
Our music and other media has presented stereo-typical views of what a black woman is or how she behaves…thanks for giving us something to think about!
The Atlanta Househouse Wives for example…no comment.
While rappers and singers exploit the “hood,” they dine and party with the wealthiest, send their kids to the best private schools, leave the minstrel or burlesque show out of the boardroom, they get respect while devotees try to immitate without a stylist and glam squad or an armani suit when it’s time to ditch the sneakers and play ceo.
This is a dialogue that needs to be shared and often in our community, sistas need to reclaim our “ladyhood!!!”
NOT ALL SISTAS, EITHER, JUST SOME OF US AND FAR TOO MANY AT THAT!
C-section as in Cesarean section not “sea section”
@ Kanyade
Please don’t tell me they are wearing leotards in supermarkets???
LMAO… that’s terrible!!! SMH
So true. The worst thing is when you watch TV and music videos, they are dominated by black women which inhabit all these traits which is the most annoying thing. The TV producers need to step it up and try and show black women in a different lights.
@ Kanyade- The leotard is wrong on soooooooo many levels!!!!! LMAO!!!!!!!!!! :)
@ Mercifullove-ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!! :):):):):):)
I have one more to add to the list. I’ve noticed that the leggings style has been resurrected from from the 80’s, but ladies (i.e. grown *** women) please STOP wearing these leggings as PANTS!!!! That truly is not the business. Nobody wants to see your “toe” or lack thereof (if you feel me).
This is a great list, thx for the laugh.
Ladies and gents, I HAVE seen it and I’m scarred because of it. SCARRED. LOL. Maybe I’ll run into her wearing the outfit again and I’ll snap a pic on my cell. LOL Ya’ll have a great day :)
the only thing missing is the colorful hair!!!
cant stand it-(green, purple, pink, blue.. we have to stop!!)
oops im sorry i missed that on the list.. well then the list is complete..lol
ur so right-and saying that word “*****” it is disgusting on black men but even worse on black women/girls
. Saying The Phrase “you know what I’m saying” Over And Over In A Conversation
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omg this one hits close to home..this is such a turn off for a lady to use words like that..! i think black women just like jumping too quick in bandwagin general
Thanks for posting this. Its the closest thing to the gospel. As for Nene, she is a disgrace. She is as coonalicious as Madea. In fact, I call her the Madea of the RHWOA.
sometimes I wonder where these women with colorful hair work. They HAVE to be entrepreneurs. smh
OMG, you are so right! I see at least 2 of things you named every day. Gladly, i dont portray them and hate when others do so.
Oh yeah, one time i saw a black lady at the movie theater with green stripes in her hair. All i could do was shake my head and laugh.
I’m not a fan of RHWOA either. In fact, I only looked at one or two episodes when there wasn’t anything else on worth watching.
Good read. I agree with the whole list. I really hate when BW do #’s 5 & 8.
I’ll like to add 1 more to the list.
BW STOP CALLING EACH OTHER THE “B” WORD.
OMG ANTOYA, can you please say that again!!!!!!!
I can not stand a loud woman at all.
@ SISTA
I love sexy tats on females but how you forget female lil wayne???(fantasia)
lol is agree to all
Yet these same women with these characteristics wonder why thier lives are not the way they desired.
#9 is thier choice of men. Choosing thugs over decent, respectful men.
I can’t say I approve of this blog. I find it rather stereo typical. If the writer truly want to improve the image and self esteem of black women I suggest she write andarticle title “8 Behaviors that I admire in my sisters” Positive reinforcement is a better coaching method.
Thank you thank you thank you. I couldn’t agree more, and I agree XIOMARA as well. Those damn Keyshia Cole shoes should be canceled. This kind of stuff is tacky and young ladies think it’s cute, what’s sad about all of this is little girls in grade school is doing this stuff now. It’s a shame.
I meant Keyshia Cole “shows”
This is so true,I try my best to raise my daughters to respect themselves,it;s so hard because all around in public,on tv,everywhere there always seems to be someone that wants to be seen with clothes on or off.
_leave black woman alone__
_____let us live in peace_
You’ll see each one of these characteristics displayed in your local poor black neighborhood. They call these females ‘hoodrats’ and I want nothing to do with them, cause they start trouble with me all the time. I cant dictate how other people live their lives, but I mean whatever…
It’s not gonna stop.
I really hate #2. I saw a grown *** women shopping a shoe store the other day with her stomach hanging out and it was so unnecessary because she could easily have buttoned her last button (actually the last three buttons) on her shirt to hide that disgusting belly (not tryna be rude but im jus sayin) but she was trying to show off her belly ring… and she was AT LEAST 50. No lie. Disgusting.
Flava of love, most of BET,and the RHOA are examples of what not to be!
Great article…some of things listed are part of my demaenor…thanks for telling it like it is…
Don’t forget not letting them see thier children father just because the mothers are mad at the fathers and they take it out on thier children.
Great post!! I agree these behaviors are all prevalent in our community. I interned at DFACS and saw most of these the month I was there.(LOL)
@ Cake girl
Those Flavor of love chicks have more class than a lot of the people I see. They dress sexy but atleast they are in shape. Nene is a hot mess though, the others are okay, and BET must die. What’s on tv is a major part of the problem. This discusting behavior is glorified and our poor youth thinks it’s cute. This is what a lot of young men want to take to their mothers and make babies with and our young ladies are proud to be this.
@TheFashionistaChic
Girl look, sometimes you have to let people know how it is STRAIGHT UP!! If you sugar coat the real message, who’s to say that they will ever get the message?? This is not at all ocndesending. We can talk about how we hold down our jobs and our men and how we this and that… but there are really ladies out there thinking that it’s okay to dress sluty at work and color their hair purple… Sad, but true :(
**condescending**
LOVE THIS