The path to truly loving ourselves begins the moment we are born. The quest for validation for some seems never ending. What we must recognize is that there is power in words and power in actions. We have to tell our little girls that they are beautiful and that they are worthy. We have to help build up their confidence and their self-esteem. We have the responsibility of encouraging them to cultivate empowering thoughts. We are aware of the many pitfalls in society that women of color sometimes face. We have the opportunity and we must take advantage of the opportunity to raise little girls who love who they are. It starts at home, it starts with us. I hope you are as committed as I am to raising a little girl who can truly love herself. I wrote the following letter to my daughter that is stored in her keepsake box that she has had since she was born. If there is ever a time in her life where she ever needs to be reminded about just how special she is; the letter will always be there for her. I encourage those who has a daughter to write a letter to their own daughter as well.
Dear Jazz,
Your smile is timeless. Your laughter is infectious. And the luminous aura that surrounds you is undeniable. You have this uncanning ability to draw people to you. Maybe it’s the sincerity of your character or maybe it’s the kindness of your heart.
My little girl, you are so beautiful! You know you be “rockin” those braids. And mommy loves your style. Remember that I have taught you that you don’t have to wear expensive designer clothes to feel important or to feel like you are somebody! Clothes don’t define who you are!
You are such a smart girl. I am often surprise by the insight that you already have about this world. Know that as you go forward in life, you are “worthy.” Yes my little one, you are worthy to be treated with respect and dignity. You are worthy to have people in your life that love you and care for you. If you ever find that you have people within your inner circle that wants to mistreat you or who wants to break your spirit, you just simply have to let those people go. Please, please, don’t ever settle for less!
From the moment that you were born, my life forever changed. I realized when I first saw you that I was taking on the biggest responsibility of my life; the responsibility of raising a little girl in a world that may tell her that she is not good enough, that she is not pretty enough, and that she has nothing to offer. Baby girl let me tell you, you are a gem! In greatness you were made, and in greatness you will go forward!
Throughout life, I will be your biggest and loudest fan. Always count on me to encourage you and to cheer you on. Let me give you some advice for a moment. The search for perfection is a foolish one. Material things do not measure a person’s success, and failing at something is not the end of the world, it’s the chance to follow another path.
Always think for yourself, be your own person, and march to the beat of your own drum. You are beautiful and you have so much to offer to this world. Don’t believe anything any different. I love you! Always embody those words in your heart. Keep those words stored within your precious mind. And always, always, love who you are.
Love,
Mom
That was beautiful.
Truest words of wisdom ever written. Compliment AWFMS.
This segment, “failing at something is not the end of the world, it’s the chance to follow another path” (AWFMS), touches home the most.
Once upon a time, I was so use of succeeding at whatever I put my mind into; then, came that time I had a rude awakening. I was to fail terribly. It was the end of my future as I planned it. I viewed the change negatively at the time. I had an emotional break down. What’s worse? I didn’t give myself the opportunity to talk to ANYONE about it. I alienatedd myself because I felt terrible. I let myself down. I let my family, especially those who looked up to me, down. I thought I needed to disappear in order to find myself and start ALL over…in a location unknown to people I know and love.
I’m too much of a planner. I soon found that train of thought inapropriate and straight up dangerous.
I decided instead to open up to my paps. Just barely. Remember, I felt defeated, I was cying all over the place. His reaction was priceless. I begun, “Pa, sit down. I got to tell you something. Father, “I got to sit. You’re scaring me S. What is it? Tell me. Are you pregnant? I looked at him like he grew 2 heads, “NO!’ Haha. I, consequently, began to tell him what was eating me up inside. I’ll never forget. He was very supportive. He even immediatly call my mom in Haiti, and he explained everything, and how devasted I was feeling about it all. She, too, was extremely supportive. It felt great to know both were there for me in my despair. A HUGE weight was lifted off of my shoulders.
That momment confirm my decision was the right one. I didn’t need to alienate myself farther from my family and start all over. I could continue to build on my strong foundation where I was.
AWFMS, it’s great that you’ve written these words of wisdom and support for your child. It is very important to express these emotions vocally, in writing and through actions to cement them within her so that she’ll never have a momment of doubt. May she cherish them.
As someone who has a young daughter, I can honestly say that I truly feel this beautiful piece Onetta.
Great post SnijanaFleur .
Thanks JBL :-)
Wow :)
WOW, This is so beautiful!!
I can’t imagine what the world would be like, starting with me and so many women before me if somebody that they loved would have said this to them. Most of this I didn’t realize until after 40 and some a lot later. Thank you
Onetta for being the wonderful mother you are to my beautiful granddaughter.
Omg I love it….i’m such a girl right now *tears up a little* lol. *fans eyes* lol
This is such a wonderful letter. I am going to show it to my granddaughter’s mother, and to my daughters. Thank you!
This letter was so powerful but yet so sweet. It was truly beautiful!
Wow that was beautiful I love you Jasmine.
VERY nice =)!