As a single black woman trying to live the life that God intended for me to live, I have encountered many traps that I must admit to falling into due to my own carelessness. These traps include prematurely involving in sexual relationships with men that God did not specifically design for me, partaking in activities that compromised my integrity, falling in love with a man that didn’t reciprocate the same love, abandoning my spiritual walk with the Lord, and many other traps that should have pronounced me spiritually dead a long time ago.
I use to judge women like me; I use to wonder why women would allow themselves to become victim of abuse, physical or otherwise; would put themselves in uncompromising situations that would leave scars of bitterness on the heart, or would allow a man to cheat on them and stay for the sake of having a man around. Then, one day I looked in the mirror and was able to ask myself the same question I was dying to ask other women…”how could you allow yourself to be less than what God designed you to be?”.
In Matthews 7:2, it says that if one judges any man that they, themselves, will be judged in the same measure. The truth is, I became the woman that I use to judge! and the cruel reality is that many of us are the women that we despise; that others talk about and condemn. But the Good News is that with all of the issues that many of us women face both internally and externally, God is able to create a clean heart and renew a right spirit within us. However, we must first admit that we have issues that we can’t solve without having faith that there is a better, more prosperous way to live.
A perfect example of a woman with a severe internal problem that resulted in an external victory, is the woman with the issue of blood in Matthew 9:20. The Word says that she had been bleeding for twelve years! For twelve years she had been suffering with an incureable issue; an issue that probably hindered her from having meaningful relationships. This issue also probably resulted in people speculating, judging her, condemning her, and labeling her as unclean, nasty, maybe even a freak of nature. But when all else failed her; when she finally realized that a man couldn’t heal her condition nor could friends make her whole, she went to Jesus in the midst of the crowed and reached for his cloak. She knew that if only she could touch the hemn of his garmet, she would be healed. Her faith is what pleased Jesus the most, and because of her faith Jesus publically redefined her from a woman with a major issue to a woman after God’s own heart.
As women, we often times carry heavy loads; loads so heavy that we may break our backs. But it is mostly predicated on how we carry the load that determines whether or not it will make us stronger or weaken our ability to handle it all. We all have private insecurities, private struggles, private heartache, and private issues, but if we seek first the kingdom of God and all His righteousness, He will publically add on blessings that most people thought you would never receive.
God has done this for me in the midst of all my issues, and I do believe He is molding me in to the woman of God He predestined me to be.
I want to encourage you sister. I want you to know that no matter what issues in your life has caused you shame in private, public, or both, God is able to transform that thing into a dynamic blessing and testimony. Don’t worry how other’s may view you; they don’t know what you been through. Just know that God sees you in His perfect image and wants to use you as a jewel in His crown.
Kara Warner is an upcoming author, blogger, and educator from Omaha, NE, by way of Hammond, IN. She has placed much emphasis on supporting, and becoming an advocate for women and youth who struggle with self- esteem, image, and perception issues.
In 2009, Kara founded a program entitled, ‘Beauty Is Skin Deep Movement, Inc.” in order to reconstruct the perception and image of women of color in American society. She has conducted classes for the YMCA, Urban League of Nebraska, Middle School Learning Center, and Girls Incorporated of Omaha.
Kara is currently working on a book titled, ” False Feelings Appearing Real”, a compilation of experiences and stories by women who have, throughout their life, struggled with understanding their feelings and are now learning how to cope with them. You can visit her blog at www.conquistanoir.wordpress.com IG @K__Maureen/Twitter @LivLifewpurpose.