Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Believe half of what I say and all of what I do.

It’s as simple as that.  Isn’t it?  Yet for some reason we allow ourselves to be woo’d by the power of wordplay so much that it blocks our intuition and clouds our judgement.  It’s the fact that we trust and love each other so much, that the simplest words that come from our mouths can be enough validation for a temporary relief.

But temporary is just that, it’s a quick fix.

You know the quick fixes.  The things we say to shut each other up.  The things men tell women when they don’t feel like hearing her nag or the things women say when she’s over dealing with an emotional man.

“I love you baby and I’m gonna change!”

“I will never do that again, I swear!”

“I will make more time for us, I promise!”

“I will never cheat again, I’m forreal!”

Haven’t we all heard or said these things before?

And maybe things did change for a few weeks but in most cases they slowly shifted right back to the problem.

That’s because we know exactly what people need to hear and when.  And sometimes we have every intention to act on our verbal promises but our actions just don’t agree.  And other times we tell you what you want to hear just because we don’t want anyone else to have you.

So what do you do?

You always believe an action over a word.  When a person’s words do not match their actions, it’s the most obvious red flag and reason to run.  Don’t wait around for the two to match; that may never happen.

People will tell you what you want to hear, so instead of always demanding the verbal truth, hold yourself high enough to expect it in actions.

You want someone who will love you by thought, word and deed.  After all, aren’t you worth it?

-Ashley Charisma is the author of School of Black Love.  For more info on Ashley Charisma and the novel visit

You can also follow Ashley Charisma on:
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  1. :iagree: “When a person’s words do not match their actions, it’s the most obvious red flag and reason to run”
    As I grow into a woman this is one of the most valuable lessons I could grasp! And I encourage my Sistas to do the same! It will save us from a lot of foolishness.

  2. Great article! I’m learning that we trust people to be who we want them to be- and when they’re not, we cry. It’s all about the action!

  3. :iagree: Very good article!!
    Way too often people say things to appease the other or to get what they want. That’s why it’s imperative that we focus on one’s actions instead of focusing exclusively on what they say. I have been fooled by that way too many times, unfortunately. But as I grow older, I have become more aware and beginning to make better decisions.

  4. Very true. I believe as well that actions speak louder than words. but sometimes we can judge a person unfairly too by what they do not realizing that everyone is on a journey of doing and being better, so if i am in a place where i am struggling it won’t help for someone to just drop me like a hot potato just because i am struggling with something. it goes to show that we have to learn to decide everything on a case by case basis and not be so quick to judge and get rid of. no one is perfect and you may have it all together, in your own mind, but in someone else mind you might need some behavior modifications. just my two cents.

  5. Very god article and seemingly great book, However i never looked at books as a way to solve couple’s issues or whatever else of that nature, But good luck 🙂

  6. This was a good article..but everyone shows their love differently. A guy could change your oil for you every time it needs to be changed and that is his way of showing his love but some women could expect a different expression of love or not understand that is his way of showing love…

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