Admit It Day 2.07.2008

1. My name is not Stephanie.

2. I shave my eyebrows off and then draw them back on.

3. Writing about celebrities everyday actually bores me to tears.

4. I am totally bored right now.

Your turn…

273 Comments

  1. 1. My name is not Stephanie.

    Well you know I knew that 😆

    Hmmm, what can I admit?

    When I worked at McDonald’s when I was 17 I used to give all my friends free food when they came by. I would pretend to ring it up but didn’t :lol2:

  2. [quote comment=”20720″]

    When I worked at McDonald’s when I was 17 I used to give all my friends free food when they came by. I would pretend to ring it up but didn’t :lol2:[/quote]You rebel, you :lol2:

  3. Wow, five years of celibacy. How have you done it? The longest I went without was about a year and that was because I chose not to date and instead focus on my studies. Men have always been my weakness. 😀 I have been making up for loss time though :booty:

  4. I am a closet Bow Wow and Omarion fan. Please don’t tell anyone. :bag:

  5. 1. My name really is Veronica Nefertari but I’ve never shown my last/surname on the site. I answer to both.

    2. I am 34 and have never been to a nightclub, never been to a “grownup” party, never been to a concert, never been on a date with a man who I wasn’t engaged to marry or married to. In all, I’ve only been on a date with two men in my life–and I married both of them. (not at the same time :mrgreen: i’ve had a very strange nerdy life.

    3. I secretly and sometimes openly covet and strongly want to have a ridiculously large behind. It is the one area where I surrender to peer pressure regarding appearance. I don’t have one, but that doesn’t stop me from doing 750 squats every week in the pursuit of one. I know on a cognitive level that it is a stupid pursuit–but I really truly want a behind like “Deelishus” from Flavor of Love and I always have. I guess standards of beauty outweigh my politics on that issue. :booty:

    4. My best friend is a sister who is 20 years older than me. I’m 34. I grew up feeling so much older than I was, that I have a hard time relating to sisters my age, although I would like to be able to do so. I mean how do you explain to a sister “no..really, I’ve never been to a concert–heck I couldn’t even listen to secular music, go to the mall or eat fast food growing up”

    5. I am the nerdiest person I have ever met in my life. I read the tax code for fun. The biggest joy in my life is my sons and husband. Outside of that, this site is my only social outlet.

  6. 1. i want to punch sherri shepherd in the mouth on air

    2. i love masturbating

    3. i like lesbian porn too!

    4. i need a man and i haven’t had one in years.

  7. Lol, ‘Stephanie’ 😀 . My turn!

    1. I have an unhealthy attraction to men’s police uniforms, cop shades, and patrol cars.

    2. I like to speed so that I can actually get pulled over by a cop and potentially frisked down like a system criminal. For some reason I never get stopped 🙁

    3. I watch the Golden Girls religiously on Lifetime channel, my favorite character is Dorothy.

    4. I work in a biochemistry lab and feel sexy in knee-length lab coats.

    5. I’m 6’0 and wish I were shorter so that I could find jeans easier. 🙁

  8. MMMM what can i say about me. Im 33 years old. Im 6’1 without heels. I have a weakness for boots and shoes with 2-3 inch heel.

    Im alway getting the real short men after me lol.

    About everyday i get call lisa raye (loving it).

    My sister gets on my nerves she 24 need to move out get a life.

    Very bored at my job today but it pays the bills.

    I love this site with all my beautiful black sister and the men that comes here to make a opinion. :bowdown:

    Much love A.Arrington that the name

  9. SICKOFIT AS FAR AS JEANS GO TO OLD NAVY I THINK U WOULD LOVE THERE JEANS. ANOTHER 6 FOOTER HEY GIRL LOL.

  10. ^^ HEY GIRL! 😆 Glad to see another sixer in the house lol! :dance: Thanks so much for the tip, I’m definitely going to check them out. :thumbsup:

    I love boots too! I told my coworker I’m going to bust in that lab with some Naomi Campbell thigh high boots one day and they just laughed lol. They don’t know 😎

  11. Stephanie ( 😆 ), why did you remove your comment about being celibate for five years. Don’t be ashamed girl. A whole lot of women ain’t getting no d1ck. I’m not one of them, that’s just what I heard 😆

  12. Wow, I am 5’9 I thought I was reppin for the tall sistas but yall taller than me, thats a beautful though. I love being tall people can never tell that I wear a size 10-12 😉 . And steph don’t feel bad about he celibacy, I was celibate before I got married.

  13. Nefertari, u don’t have to go to a night club.

    Anyway, I am a man and i come on this website that seems like it is only meant for women.

    P.S. I am not gay.

  14. I was celibate for two years after college and about 1 1/2 during college.

    My husband was my first adult boyfrend.

    I am 29 years old and a complete and total dork and I am proud that me and all my friends are grown up sexy geeks. I secretly think that Michelle Williams is the coolest member in Destiny’s Child, I have all of Will Smith’s solo CDs, and I love NPR.

  15. IM 20 YEARS OLD AND IM IN LOVE WITH P.DIDDY THIS SECERT CRUSH GOES SO FAR BACK..I KNOW HE’S A LOSER…BUT I LOVE HIM DEARLY…. :lol2:

  16. [quote comment=”20745″]IM 20 YEARS OLD AND IM IN LOVE WITH P.DIDDY THIS SECERT CRUSH GOES SO FAR BACK..I KNOW HE’S A LOSER…BUT I LOVE HIM DEARLY…. :lol2:[/quote]
    Chile don’t be ashamed. I’d jump Lyfe Jennings’ bones in a minute if he’d let me :lol2:

  17. 1. 29 and turning 30 on the 18th, also celibate. But its because I choose to be not because I can’t get any.
    2. A small town girl from NC, that can mingle with anyone, anywhere.
    3. I am a spontaneous, down for whatever chick, if it excites me.
    4. Strange people on the street just open up to me when I meet them. I guess I have a “tell me your life story” face. Though, most of the time I enjoy the conversation.
    5. I love men that march to the beat of a different drum, I find it sooo sexy. So I have had a crush Common and strangely Woody Harrelson for years!

  18. I have stalker tendencies when it comes to Tyrese. There is something about a chocolate man with pretty white teeth. I cant get enough of him!! :brownsista:

  19. [quote comment=”20748″]I have stalker tendencies when it comes to Tyrese. There is something about a chocolate man with pretty white teeth. I cant get enough of him!! :brownsista:[/quote]

    I, too, have an unhealthy obsession with Tyrese, even after I read that he hit his child’s mom and went MIA for a minute because of it. It didn’t faze me…He could definitely get it. I have a healthy obsession with dark skinned men PERIOD, eventho my man of 3 yrs is light skinned… He already knows!!!

  20. To the tall sisters, I’m 5’10! I thought I was the only amazon up in here!

  21. @Rotex

    My husband keeps telling me I haven’t missed anything so i think you are right :iagree:

  22. Completely agree with Liyah, I watch the specials on HBO on Floyd and fell in love and don’t know why you would think his arrogance would be a turn off but something about how hard he works makes you feel he is justified.

  23. 1. Stephanie is ccol with me even though she bragged that she made me her blogger bxxch. (Not True)

    2. Creating Music is my life long addiction – can’t leave it alone!

    3. NY Giants played an incredible Superbowl! – I love Football again.

    4. I’m feeling Prison Break over this season of The Wire.

    5. I believe that the world would be a better place if we all were more spritual ( Be kind to one another and pray for one another) not just religous.

  24. Ha, this is funny. Here it goes:

    1) Inside of me lives a stripper that is dying to get out. As a result, I’ve ordered stripper shoes and outfits yet I’ve nowhere to really use them.

    2) It irritates me when people ask me how old I am, even though I take it as a compliment when they don’t know. I’m 19.

    3)My obsession with becoming a Sex Therapist for a majority of my teen years (Seriously, the doctor kind) left me wanting to hide the fact that I am actually a virgin.

    4) I want to kill anyone who pats me on the head because of my short stature. I’m 4’9”, and I am not your fucking pet. Don’t pet me.

    5)In addition to the last comment, I’ll admit that a great deal of my attitude and sarcasm stems from the fact that I’m short. I have the Napoleon complex, which can lead me to be quite bossy.

    6) I was once obsessed with Orlando Bloom. My walls were covered, and I carried a purse that said “Mrs.Bloom.” Followed by the engraved charm I attached to my purse. My sister’s bday is on the 14th, his is on the 13th. I bought a cupcake and watched his movies on the 13th. I forgot to get my sister a gift,and had to give her cash. I was a nut.

    7) Despite my love for tech things and video games, I love the fact that no one ever suspects it from my appearance.

    ….I could do this all day. 😆

  25. OMG, you guys have me cracking up with some of the stuff you have revealed here today. I actually removed my celibate comment because I thought it was maybe a bit too personal- but you guys have really gone there. 😆

    I didn’t want to post any celebrity gossip today cause it was boring me. I was like “I rather just talk to the people who come here everyday”. I’m glad I did too. Some of you are as crazy as I am. :lol2:

  26. @EVERYONE
    this is definately therapy for you guys. i’d join in but i’m afraid to. but tell me at what height are you considered tall for a female?

    @NEFATARI
    oh and being celibate and missing out on clubbing is nothing to be ashamed of. actually, NEFATARI you have pretty much skipped unecessary drama. so kudos to you girl. but answer me this if you read it……is it because of religion why you didn’t do some of those things growing up or just a shy attitude?

  27. [quote comment=”20755″]Completely agree with Liyah, I watch the specials on HBO on Floyd and fell in love and don’t know why you would think his arrogance would be a turn off but something about how hard he works makes you feel he is justified.[/quote]

    Tiffany I am a true Boxing fan, as a matter of fact, I did it for a short while, so I became interested in him b/c I was amazed at how great of a boxer he is. Then eventually I realized that he is great eye candy too 😉

  28. Stephanie (or whatever your name is), you have definitely started somethin here. People have all these secrets that they are dying to tell, and all they need is an anonymous forum to let em out! I think its beautiful!!

    Even though I aint gon tell yall sh#t about me! Ha! :hmph:

  29. Yes Stephanie, this was certainly a good idea. Your the best Stephanie…or whatever your name is. :lol2:

  30. @La Domina

    It was mostly because when I was young enough to do those things, I was in school. I grew up pentecostal (so absolutely no boys or partying for me) and then went to college at 17, got married during my first year of college and started having babies. So by law school I had four children, a job, and full-time law school, so I only had time to focus on the children and school and work. By the time I finished all of that–I looked up, was over 30, once divorced, and all of the “party years” were just behind me. I can’t say I ever missed it–only because I don’t know what I might have missed. 😆

    I can’t say I’m terribly religious. I have a relationship with God as I perceive God. But I’m very non-judgmental and non-religious. I don’t think it is bad for women to do those things. I think it probably makes them more well-rounded because I acknowledge that I am very very odd. :dance:

    The strangest thing about me is that despite never having had a lot of experiences, I embrace people who have. That’s probably why I’m such a Janet stan. I love her freedom. I am one of the people in here who thought that her on-stage dominatrix performance was the absolute shiznit…She made me proud. Weird right?

    My husband’s favorite saying (hubbie was a HELLION by the way when he was young so he has partied enough for both of us!)…his favorite saying with me is:

    “Man..how can a square be so round!? :lol2:

  31. Tiffany, is your real name Tiffany? There are a lot of us. 😆 It looks really weird when I actually look at it and pronounce it.

  32. @Majesa,

    Girl….I LOVE Stripper shoes….have a closet full of them. And since at 5 fot 10, I have big feet (size10), I have found that the cross dresser stores have THE BEST stripper shoes in the world!

  33. ok.. :bag: so am I the only sister in here who has a burning desire to be blessed with a ridiculously huge behind–or am I just the only one in here who wasn’t born blessed with one??? :booty: :mrgreen: :brownsista:

  34. I love the openess! I just found this site 2 months ago. I wish I knew about it sooner! Here’s what I will admit:
    I had the sexiest, freakiest dream about Ludacris while actually sleeping next to my husband. Once I woke up I had the nerve to be mad that it was my husband sleeping next to me and not Ludacris! I would never let my husband know about that, but I was mad that I woke up!

  35. @Liyah :booty:
    I’m not mad at you sis. I’m on my best behavior so hopefully the big bootie fairy will one day smile on me too. :mrgreen:

  36. LOL! I love the post today Stephanie, or should I just leave a question mark for your name?

    An :bowdown: ything that I post will come back to haunt me later. I’ll pass on this one.

  37. And Floyd Mayweather is a pimpish midget. His baby mama is still around but he definately dates other women. He’s very honest about his open relationship. I’ve seen him with several differnt chicks. He’s friends with my Ex.

    Oh gosh. I think I’m hating again. I’ll stop.

  38. 1. I don’t have as many female friends as I would like to have. (most are so catty.)
    2. I play the powerball faithfully.
    3. I have a crush on Omar Epps.
    4. I don’t like basketball but I watch because I love tall dark thin men.
    5. I care about my boyfriend but I’m still in love with my ex

    Stephanie, the next man you give yourself to will be worthy of your body, and heart. you have taken time to get to know you. If I remember correctly you are recently divorced( if I’m wrong I appologize) most of your life you probably did everything for your husband and your children. Your celebacy is something you did for yourself. good for you. :bowdown:

  39. I watch football with my boyfriend, but I really enjoy watching the players in those tight ass pants with those big tatooed arms and thick thighs!…Turns me completely on!!

    :dance:

  40. 1. My name is Keesha

    2. I am 28 years old.

    3. My daughter is 11

    4. My first and only husband is 53 years old

    5. He has given me the best sex I have EVER EVER HAD! :dance2: :dance2: :dance2:

  41. 6. I am a FOOTBALL/BASEBALL junkie!

    7. I am a political science graduate

    8. I watch fox news on occasion :noway: :noway: – YES WAY!

    9. My dream is to start a charter school for at risk youth – boys and girls in poor neighborhoods

    10. I LOVE SHOES!

  42. Teeda? I know he is only 5’8 but I wouldn’t call the man a midget 😆 you are too funny. I’d never date him but he is just fun to drool at from time to time.

  43. Hmmn, let’s see,… I won’t give you guys anything too juicy. I will say that my house is a mess right now ‘cuz I’ve been glued to my computer all week. To top it off, it’s a laptop and I don’t even have to get out the bed!!! HELP!! I’m stuck in cyberspace!!!

  44. Stephanie! This is a great idea! :brownsista:

    Kanyade “admits it”:

    1. I love porn…but in moderation.

    2. I’m a total freak between the sheets.

    3. I have an unhealthy obsession with certain British men, namely Jonathan Rhys Meyers (who is actually Irish, I think).

    4. I get a little ‘weird’ (i.e. turned on) when I hear J. Holiday’s “Bed” song. 😆

    5. I freaking love Football and hate that the Dallas Cowboys didn’t make it this year.

    6. I own a whip….and other *cough* items :confused:

    7. I’m evil. 🙁 I have evil thoughts! Usually dealing with sex. LOL. I got problems ya’ll! 😆

    8. I wish I could lose about 20 pounds.

    9. I wish I were taller.

    10. I wish I could afford lacefront wigs on Tyra’s and Beyonce’s scale. *sigh* I’d wear the hell out of them too. 😆

  45. 1.) GOD IS MY PROTECTION
    2.) MY BEST-FRIEND IS A MALE (WE NEVER EVEN KISSED ) 😆 HE IS ATTRACTIVE TOO
    3.) I SEEM TO CAN’T GET ALONG WITH (FEMALES) :hater: ‘S (I DON’T KNOW WHY BUT I CAN’T HELP IT IF I AM ATTRACTIVE. (MY MOM ALWAYS TOLD ME THAT).
    4.) IM 19yrs.OLD AND I LOVE OL’ SCHOOL MUSIC
    5.) MATH IS (NOT) MY FAVORINT SUBJECT :thumbsdown:
    6.) I WATCH PORN TOO. (WHEN I AM ALONE) 😆

  46. Stephanie:

    Why’d you shave your eyebrows off??? 🙁

    Oh and another one.

    11. Sometimes I really want to cut off all my hair; I feel like I’ll feel ‘freer’ if I do that. And I want an afro; want to go au naturale but don’t want to wait for it to grow out. :brownsista:

  47. Nice asses aren’t always big asses.

    Celebrities are boring.

    Some black celeb (this one excluded) blogs are just mean spirited.

  48. -i’m also know as voice and i call myself voice because it’s my middle name and i’m a great singer
    -i’m not dark skinned but pretedn i am because people’s demeanor toward you change as soon as you are dark skinned especially if you give your opinion on a lighter sista (i’m african korean)
    – i wish i was dark skinned like my sister and my mother because they have an other kind of beauty that is just amazing
    – i wish i were smaller in the hips
    -dark sista is indeed my sister and not my alter ego like some psychos affirms
    -i love sex and fantasm on denzel
    – i love lesbian porn but i’m 100% hetero
    – i used to be beyonce #1 fan
    – i get my friends on browsista as soon as possible to check out the psychos here
    that’s all i have for you

  49. I had to join in…

    1. I would love to be somebody’s back up dancer… I danced for 13 years :dance1:

    2. I seem to only attract younger guys… and I haven’t had much luck with them either :thumbsdown:

    3. Everyone thinks I’m the younger sibling but I’m the oldest by 5 1/2 years

    4. If I won the lottery, I wouldn’t tell NOBODY

    5. Admitting these things and reading all of your secrets made my day

  50. 1.) Nne is not my real name- I met a girl when I was 7 yrs old- she was three yrs older & Nigerian and that was her name. I thought she was soooo pretty and never forgot her.

    2.) I’m 27 yrs old (28 on July 7th) and I’m still a virgin :bag: !! I’m not ugly or fat either- really, I’m not. No sexual issues either- just never f’d 🙄

    3.) Never been on a date

    4.) I too watch lesbian porn and I’m as straight as hetrosexual woman could ever be.

    5.) I have a major crush on this guy who blogs (he knows. First time I ever told a crush) and I get REALLY jealous at some of the females comments so I don’t read the comments anymore.

    6.)Only been to a club twice and I use make ppl believe I’ve been more than twice just to make myself seem more interesting and less of a :loser: but really I’m just a homebody 😐

    7.) This is liberating- I could probably keep going but I’ve said more than enough I think 😉

  51. @ Nne,

    I love that you remembered her name! That’s sweet.

    There’s nothing wrong with being a homebody. I used to club every weekend, now I go out about once every six months. 😆 But I replaced that with having small, intimate gatherings with my friends at their house or my crib. We get our drink on, play cards, and dish. :brownsista:

    And nothing wrong with being a virgin. Hold on to that until you feel you’re ready. 🙂

  52. i’m a homebody too and there is no shame on being s virgin and nne means sunshine in ibu 🙂

  53. 1. Even though we broke up 17 years ago, I still drive by my ex-boyfriend’s apartment.
    2.I often wish I had to guts to tell him that I never experienced an orgasm in the five years we had sex.
    3. I so hate I sacrificed my virginity to him.

  54. @ Kanyade & Voice- thank you! I’ll say I’m not ashame but honestly… I am- why? IDK!

    I never knew what Nne means but it’s cool that her name means “sunshine” because two very dear friends of my call me “Sunshine”.

    @ Stephanie- thank you for this. This is even better than postsecrets.com for me!!! I always wanted to reveal something but could never choose which secret I wanted to send in. I just might have to list more before the night is over. Maybe, I’ll wait to see if you’ll do this again.

  55. 🙄 Hmmm, so these posts mean that liking lesbian porn doesn’t mean I’m bi-curious?! That is a HUGE relief to know that I have one less issue to work through :mrgreen: . I thought I had a big secret but it seems the majority of women on here have the same one. :banana:

    I had an impressive porn collection for years. I never knew other women did too so I hid it. I threw it out because it made my husband uncomfortable. Lots of money lost at $39.99 a pop

  56. 1) I’m a brotha who loves curvy sistas, particularly celebs; I’m drawn here for the news, photos and (sometimes) commentary;

    2) I love singing, particularly karaoke;

    3) I ice skate, snow ski, and rollerblade very well;

    4) I’m not really into sports…until the final games of the season (Superbowl; NBA Playoffs; World Series, etc.)

    5)I grew up in New Orleans, LA. “Laissez les bons temps rouler!!!” (Dang, I miss Mardi Gras! )

    *-sigh-* Nuthin’ too liberating. 😆

  57. :bag: All the tall sistas in the house stand up!! I’m 6’1 and loove wearing heels. I used to hate my height but now i love how i intimidate people coz of it.

    I was an ugly ducking turned into a swan. Feels good to see all the guys who wouldnt give me that time of day when i was a teenager drool over me now.

    I’m 23 but people think i’m still 19. Hope to have he same reaction when im 50.

    I love porn too!! Never admitted it to anyone though.

    I’d like to be a freak in bed but I’m too shy :bag: I’ve had compliments though but I want to be baaaaaaaaaad.

    Eventhough I’ve broken up with my ex for more than 1 year and I’m with someone else, I looooooooooove the fact that he’s been trying to get me back with him for the past 7 months. (I’m not going to take him back though, no issues there).

    I love it more since I know that his current girlfriend hates me coz of him and sees me as a constant threat. I’m bad but I love it.

    I’m working on gaining weight so as to have more curves in all the right places..and it’s working in all the right ways. My body shape is like Rihanna’s but I’d love to have Alicia’s hips (but not her boobs)

    I want to be rich but not famous.

    My name is not Kirah. It’s my friend’s daaughter’s name and I am completely in ove with that little girl.

    I am a dark-skinned sista and I’ve never felt insecure about my skin tone and wouldnt change it for the world. (unlike most of my friends)

    I check the site first thing in the morning and countless of times during the day.

  58. kirah try soy milk every night for the booty
    Lets see …
    my name is jalany i’m 28 and i am a gynecologist
    i graduated from high school when i was 16
    i’m ivoirian and jamaican
    i never watched porno but i read a lot of book on sexuality and sensuality so
    no one gets freakier than me in the bed room
    my best friend is a celebrity
    i ‘ve been married since i’m 17 and my man is 20 years older than i am
    and i recently had twins new borns wich i delivered home
    named jalany and lelony meaning hope and destiny in ivoirian… so i wont be in here too much (i had to put my quarter ^^)but yall know i love yall every each one of yall ^^:)

  59. “I am a dark-skinned sista and I’ve never felt insecure about my skin tone and wouldnt change it for the world. (unlike most of my friends)” same here
    ium happy to see a fun post where people dont get at each other throat over some strangers nice and slick way to bring all sistas togethere “stephanie” ^^ i’m still waiting for that marc jacobs rihanna’s handbag post :thumbsup: 😀

  60. 1. Hi well as you know i’m Amber,…well actuclly my real name is pronounce “Amberia” but they just call me Amber.

    2. l’m 16 years old and i have a learing disability so spelling is the most problem i have at some time
    and on my educational side on school work it’s is hard for me to understand it! to do it..

    3.i’m not really into geting any realationship with boys or haveing boyfriends anything like that

    4. i’m afraid of peolpe and i’m afraid of being around alot of peolpe two it’s irritates the hell of me..lol

    5. sometimes like i’ll live in a Imaginary world

    6.I have got sent to the crazy house before i call it a crazy house don’t know why?..but i was 14 yr. at the time and my older brother was picking on me so bad and i went off! on him and i try to kill him and i cut him real bad and i end up cuting myself pretty bad two. I stop fighting him and he call the police and they came over and my mother wasn’t there at the time so they didn’t know who two believe in they thought i was trying to kill myself for some reason? or they thought my brother try to kill me and my brother he was bleeding bad so they rush us to the hospital….after we came out hours leter the police they was still there outside no big deal they probably gonna take us home…lol boy I was WRONG the police arrest my brother and me …they took my brother to jail and me to some mental clinic??? to wait on a court date…lol

    7.I love two read my books that’s only thing i’m good at is reading…i gotta have my
    Zanze book’s, sex chronicles 2 gettin buck wild,
    my Noire book’s candy licker, g-spot,

    Now i can’t believe i told ya’ll my personal secrets..lol

    Oh-yea Stephanie do you get frustrated when you don’t get that perfect line right?
    cuz my mama do..she does the same thang two

  61. hmm whut can i admit?

    I am addicted to buying shoes, clothes anything….when i feel bad i go out and buy sumthin, mostly shoes..and i feel alot better until i feel bad again…its a vicious cycle…..

    I’m tired of hearing about rihanna in posts….dont get me wrong i have love for my fellow sistas, but i dont get all the hype behind her….

    im 21yrs old and i sit in my room ( im a college student), apply makeup, play dress up, blast music and pretend that I am a music artist performing in concert….i have a really great voice but i am sooo shy…i wish i could overcome that.. :confused:

    i love my boyfriend but i wonder if there is sumone out there better for me

  62. i guess i’ll comment on here.

    1) I love Janet Jackson music/videos/anything that has she has done. but i am not a “stan”. lol.

    2)I am a hip hop junkie and would love to be in the business one day but i get discouraged at times because whenever i tell people i have aspirations of becoming and entertainer they laugh or tell me to get a real job. ((sobs a bit))

    3) I am jamaican and get pissed when i hear that whole we smoke weed and are good for nothing shi-t. no i have never touced a drug in my life and don’t plan to……i am a creative human being…..stop hating. and no i don’t have dread locks…..i wish i had them though but that’s a different story.

    4) I still have my v-card (haha virgin). but i wonder what “relations” are like.

    5) I am not in a ruch to lose my v-card.

    5) I can’t sleep naked…….it feels weird to me.

    6) I am secretly paranoid about dying and have panic attacks about it. I feel so stupid for it and get annoyed with myself but I will solve that problem later.

    7) I am secretly sadened when i hear people talk about their fathers mostly because i don’t know mine. the last time he called me was last year. he’s late on my birthday calls and didn’t call me for christmas. i wonder if i should try harder but i feel like if i call but he doesn’t then why the hell should i bother. i want to just cuss him out but i have respect for all adults in my family to not go there.

    8)i wish i could lose 40 pounds. i weigh 174 but i wear a size 9…..but my family makes it seem as if i weigh 200. people never guess that i am 174 but whatever.

    9) everytime i meet someone they seem to think i am way younger than them….i.e. 12 or 11 but i am almost 19. i have no problem with it. i love it…..i get that trait from my mothers side.

    10) i never hd it but i think i’d be freaky…..i love piercings and whips and such. and want to get a few piercings one day….i gues when i turn 20 or something. plus there is thing where i kind of get excited over some amount of pain……damn. i might have some mental issues.

    11)i have never had anything with dairy or eggs in it. i have an allergy and wish to know what those things taste like. uh….i’m a vegan by circumstance…..i don’t like meat of any kind at all.

    12)I want to stop cursing….i only say the b-word and (hell), (sh-t). i need to stop. i don’t feel like a woman when i am saying it but i can’t help it when it comes out of my mouth sometimes….plus i know a lot of guys who act like a pack of bi-ches. lol. still no excuse.

    13) I have officially stopped downloading this year. it was like rehab. i seriously couldn’t sleep knowing i didn’t get those two janet songs and a couple other music videos. but now i’m okay. i still get the urge but i’m getting better. yay me!

    i kinda feel better. peaceful. whew! that was a slight load off. that’s all i’m gonna post on here because if i go any deeper i’d be so embarassed. but this is good. nice job “STEPHANIE”! peace out ya’ll. 1

  63. Thx Dark sista for the advice , im gonna add soy milk to my list. Since you’re partly ivorian does that mean you speak french (especially the “ivorian french”) and keep up with their mini-series? Cool, french connection lol. C’est pas petit boucan lol.

    Amber, keep reading, things will get better but you’ve probably heard that a million times lol.

    I love this post!! No need for a diary.

  64. @ amber
    i feel you about that whole not being comfortalbe around people thing especially in parties. i can dance just not like how they want me to. i don’t know how to grind up on a boy…..it seems so wrong also i feel tarded when i do it…..yes i did just type “tarded”. lol.

    oh and here’s another fact about me….i’ve never had a boyfriend since i was 11. i feel imiture but then again i’m the one who all my friends with relationship problems or any problems for that matter come to for help and advice. i’ve helped out a lot of them and have been right so far but i always say why don’t you think about it. my approach is i pretty much lay out all fact on the table then i think of a couple of positive options then ask them what they want to do…..then i pretty much let them solve their own problem by talking it out with me…..i never really tell them what to do. i wonder why none of them have caught on to that. lol!

    peace! 1
    :bag: :brownsista: :bag:

  65. This has got to be the best topic yet :bowdown:

    I work out religiously at home because I can’t stand to see or smell other people sweat

    I am a neat freak who refuses to visit my girlfriend’s new condo because she’s a sloppy :booty:

    I where high heels every where I go because I like the way my a** and legs feel in them

    I graduated with my Master’s degree at 22 and opened my own business that same year. I’ve been an entrepreneur for about five years now

    In my late teens I had a bad experience with a past supervisor and vowed that I would never ever work for anyone else

    I value my employees and their families and treat them with the utmost fairness and respect and they are indeed good to me 🙂

    In September, my mother in-law went back to school to pursue her Bachelor’s in early childhood education. She put her dreams on hold to raise her children and take care of her family. Her dream is to become a special education teacher. No one in the family knows that she is in school, not even her husband or my husband 😎

    My husband doesn’t know that I’m paying for her tuition 🙂 It’s my gift to her for birthing and raising the most loving man I know 🙂

  66. I am strong, a really beautiful woman, and still a virgin at the age of 27.
    I am proud to wait until I marry….I am not really religious but I believe in Christ, but I chose to wait for myself. :bowdown:

  67. Here are other facts about me

    I looove walking around in my undies. I think that boy shorts are the sexiest undies ever invented. I just wish my roommate’s boyfriend would stop coming over so that i’d be free to walk around like I used to.

    I dont find anything sexy about the naked body (especially men’s, sorry). But I loove what two naked bodies do together.

    I adore my black brothas and only want to date them. No discrimination here.

    I hate talking on the phone, cant stand gossips. My male friends find that unbelievable and my female friends find that irritating.

    I am allergic to hypocrites!!!!!!!

    I have too much of a care-fuck attitude for my own good. Gets me into trouble some times but oh well.

    I should be doing a uni project but “Stephanie” has got me hooked, lol

  68. kirah tu connais!!! where you’re from ? i do keep up with everything email me at deylicious@hotmail.com the girls are yelling !!!got to go”

    des : whoa its amazing how different people can act when they on a website you sound like a tru sista :bowdown:

  69. dark sista, my parents are from Mali and Guinea but i didnt grow up in any of those countries. I check out dailymotion to see the mini-series especially “Ma famille”. Tu va me tuer ohhhhhhh lol. I’ll hit you up soon.

  70. I’M UP!

    I can’t sleep and I just couldn’t stop thinking about how good it felt to get some things out and off my chest. Reading everybody’s “admit it” has been so comforting, inspiring and fun.
    There’s so many I want to respond to but it would just take up too much space and time. It’s been so nice to see the guys join in on this. Okay, let me just get this out…

    8.) I’ve never smoked anything nor have I done drugs of any kind.

    9.) I’m trying to get over my crush but it’s a fight within myself even though I know I need to.

    10.) I got somewhat offended when my crush said I was very pretty instead of saying I was beautiful or gorgeous- 🙄 (I HAD to get this one out!)

    11.) I just cut about 2-3 inches off my hair- it’s a habit that happens when things don’t go so well with guys. I don’t know how to stop it.

    12.) Like most women have shoe addictions… I have a handbag addiction- it’s getting outta hand, I think :confused:

    13.) I wish to marry a man ten years or older oneday {Keesha you’re my idol!}

    14.) I’m on a diet

    15.) I watched Love Jones over and over this past weekend & cried for the first time in a while.

    16.) I’ve been pretending for the past several years to be happy for family and friends when good things happen to them but in reality, I wasn’t and can’t be cause I’m not as happy as I want to be with myself and some of it is due to my friends and family not noticing.

    17.) My favorite episode of MTV’s Super Sweet 16 was Ava’s from the 1st season. I recorded it.

    18.) I too get told I don’t look my age but 10 yrs younger instead- all the time AND that I don’t sound older than 18 < ???

    19.) I wish I had girlfriends so we could be like “Girlfriends” or “Sex and the City”.

    20.) I feel the sexiest when my hair is naturally curly w/o any product (looking Marpessa Dawn in Black Orpheus 😆 ) but I feel like guys think I’m more sexy with my hair straight.

    21.) I haven’t picked up my phone for anyone that has called in like two/three weeks.

    22.) Even though I could be happier- I’m happy more like content but I’m happy with that.

    Okay, maybe I can sleep now.

  71. 1. My real name is Andre Ledale Simmons. 2. I have a wife, a son, and a baby on the way. I’m a addicted to myspace and blogs. 3. http://www.myspace.com/non_fiction33 I have always wanted to do that. I love music, acting, writing, fashion, and photography. 5. I feel like I’m the luckiest man in the world. Is that a bad thing? 6. Ladies let me ask you something. How come men that are good looking, positive about life, respectful to others, smile a lot have to be called gay? 7. Oh yeah I’m 24, love you all goodnight 🙂 :>

  72. As of Jan 11th I decided to make a permanent lifestyle change and monitor my caloric intake and exercise again. I have steadily gained weight since HS and have struggled with being too hard on myself. My highest weight was 315 and at 5’7″ I’m lucky to not have a host of health problems. I used to have an eating disorder and wouldn’t eat and over-exercised so I completely went the other way. I used to think I was fat at the age of 14 when I weighed 133lbs…..now I am fat and I hate it. I have already lost 10 pounds but I have a long way to go. It took me nearly 20 years to gain all this weight but I want to get rid of it within 16 months. I’m keeping a journal of what I now eat and how I feel, what foods make me feel sluggish and I try to let those moments when I feel hungry not throw me in a tailspin. I’ve decided on 6 meals/day and eating around 300 calories worth of food every 3 hours or so. I had no idea that the average pastry at the average coffee shop chain has nearly 500 calories. Now I know how I gained the weight. I struggle with major bouts of depression that really seem to be coming out more now that I’m not medicating my emotions with desserts and soda. I am currently unemployed which doesn’t exactly help my mood. I struggle with having a relationship with God versus following a religious tradition or set of rules, trying to decide what is best and who God is for me. I struggle with wanting to isolate myself to avoid conflicts – even doing things I enjoy. I met a guy last year whom I thought I was in love with who turned out to be married. I ended it but not the day I found out and I’ve struggled with forgiving him and myself. One stupid comment from another member of the choir I had recently joined sent me reeling and I quit and have been mad and hurt since. I wonder if I will realize my dreams and if so, when will things work out?

  73. 8. I’m on my Blackberry. 9. I didn’t grow up with my father or any real male figures. 10. My mother raised me. I think she did a wonderful job. She is my number 1 Queen. 11. I wish I could stand up to people more than hide behind my smile. 12. My younger cousin is locked up for a crime he didn’t commit. That has been really hard to deal with for the pass couple of years he is like a brother to me. 13. I hope to one day to make it to Hollywood and change the way that blacks are portrayed. 14. I hope to one day the famous “I Have A Dream Speech” becomes a realitity. 15. Ok I’m done LMAO Goodnight/Goodmorning.

  74. This is fun. I read these things and they make me think. I do enjoy that.

    1) I get slightly jealous when I see two cute gay men together, because it’s plain not fair for in my head.
    2) I have hopes of being able to speak at least four different languages one day, excluding English.
    3) With all this talk of virginity and celibacy, I’ll admit that I do not want to be a virgin. I’m not waiting for marriage, I’m waiting for a guy that can meet my standards. Hope that happens soon.
    4) I hate body hair. All of it.
    5) I’m known to take 3-4 hour showers or baths. Usually a shorter shower and a longer bath.
    6) A guy with a brow ring is incredibly attractive to me. Incredibly. I prefer the right brow, too.
    7) I have every Victoria Secret Fashion show ever taped on my PC. I like to dress in the previously mentioned stripper clothes and shoes and walk along with them. No lie, I have favorite runway scenes and models.
    8) I really, really want to be Bartender one day.
    9) I don’t do drugs because I know how much I’ll probably like them.
    10) I don’t want to have kids, ever. I would consider adopting a kid one day though. I had this great idea to adopt a child from one country, raise it in a completely different culture, and then come back here before his/her teen years are over. Think, a child from China, raised in Argentina, and we can speak German at home for the main language of the house. That would be one cultured kid.

    @ Andre: They don’t have to be called Gay. They’re usually nice, but it can be unappealing because they can seem weak or cowardly. But too much positivity can be such a turn-off. Keep your head up, sure, but don’t look at the sun and be blind. I think the so-called bad guys have a bit of an edge because there’s a hope that they’ll be a good guy for you and still be the bad guy to everyone else. The bad guy with the good heart. 😆

  75. Hey EVERYONE!

    1. I left the United States when I was 19 (I am 33) and never returned.
    2. I have lived, worked and traveled the World (favorite country: Iceland)
    3. I love cultures and languages
    4. I wish more of us as Americans (black folks, especially) got a passport and traveled outside the United States, the World knows mor about us then we about them “sigh”.
    5. I love old school. Teena Marie, Chaka, Luther, Patti. And I love performers such as Janet and Michael.
    6. I am not an explainer. But unfortunately, I always have to explain black-American culture. Unfortunately, hip hop is what most pople outside of the US see of black Americans–so if it ain’t positive hip hop to counter-balance…well, you know the rest.
    7. I am from New Orleans, I miss my po-boys and gumbo 🙁

    And where is everyone from. Stefanie, child, do a post asking where folks from just they got anybody out where I am– I am in Dubai, United Arab Emirates (yes, the damn Middle East). Told you I like to travel. LOL

  76. Oh, and for the sistas that are tall. GO TO AMSTERDAM. Them girls are like all over 6ft! They have the cutest jeans. And for the girls who like lesbian porn. So do most european and arab women. Bisexuality and homosexuality is the norm throughout Europe and the Middle East! Just because you don’t hear it, don’t mean it ain’t happening!!! GET YA DAMN FREAK ON. Like God can’t read ya mind. LOL.LOL.LOL! Like he,she, it really cares.

  77. Hmm…. My confessions…I have told nobody this….

    I am 24 and from London..…when I was 5/6 I was sexually abused by a white guy, which has left me with a high level of distrust and disdain for white men. I have no memories of life before that age…I know I was young, but some of my friends do remember 5 /6… If you see my baby pictures….I stopped smiling in them after that age…. I didn’t know what he was doing was wrong until I got older, so I ate to combat my depression and to also prevent any man from finding me attractive. Although I have lost a lot of weight and quite attractive if I do say so myself, I am still not comfortable. I always vowed never to become a victim and ensured I was successful in education/academics and stuff. The only area is with guys…. I feel like I am a failure and that the guy who abused me won….I always mess up relationships and take rejection hard…I say relationships but I have never really had one of those fairytale boyfriends…hell I haven’t even had a nightmarish boyfriend….I always come to the conclusion that guys know I am some how tainted or broken and get out pronto..

    I have no problems getting male attention or guys…but I just want something genuine, a guy to like me for me….not physical attributes or because I am intelligent and would impress his friends…Just last week I met a guy who I liked and who I thought liked me…but he hasn’t called. Whereas other females would get over it…I can’t help thinking, once again I failed. On the outside everyone loves me…I’m one of those cool chicks, I make the effort with people, I get along with people…There has been times where I have been in a room with over 30 or 40 friends and still felt so alone….I get so sick of putting on this front.. I try not to be emotional or signs of weakness but more times I just want to be held and kissed all over…loved….

    Sad huh….

  78. HI STEPHANIE,

    THIS TOPIC TURNED OUT TO BE THERAPEUTIC FOR A LOT OF WOMEN…THIS REALLY WAS A GREAT IDEA!

    :thumbsup:

  79. Good morning to all the brownsista big up to the tall woman in the house. This was a great topic you getting so many response. U need to do this at least every other month to see what going on with people on this site. 6’1 (44-34-50) measurement holla

  80. @ Andre Le Dale

    My husband often tells me that women assume he is gay because he won’t disrespect our marriage when they flirt. The fact that he opens doors for women and likes to dress in slacks rather than baggy jeans also gets him labeled that way. Unfortunately, too many women think that a man has to be “bad” in order to be a man. I’m proud of brothers like him and like you. Just keep shining. :thumbsup:

  81. 1. i’m not a virgin even though everyone thinks i am.
    2. i don’t have any idea what i want to do with my life even though everyone thinks i have everything in order because of my high gpa.
    3. i wish i had a million dollars so i could buy all the shoes i want.
    4. i don’t ever want to be poor.
    5. i used watch porn when i was bored but it got boring.
    6. i’m horny but i want to wait until i’m married to my boyfriend to give him some (he is my first and only lover but i still feel like a christian should wait until marriage to have sex).
    7. i’ve been celibate since july 2007.
    8. i’m trying to lose 30 lbs but i’m scared my ass will shrink. i too think bey and jlo are blessed with gifted butts.
    9. i cheated on my first boyfriend but made it seem like the dude sexually harrassed me. that’s my most evil deed.
    10. i wish my boobs were smaller
    11. i’m 21, in my senior year in college
    12. i don’t like hanging with women, too moody, too catty, too gossipy, too competitive, too much!

  82. @Majesa,

    You said that you hate body hair. Here is a really odd one for you–I don’t grow any body hair at all. I thought I was weird growing up until I was around 20 and my mother told me that she has none either–nor do her sisters. I would not know how to use a razor if you gave me one. I have curled dredlocs down the middle of my back and I have eyebrows that are pretty light, but I barely have eyelashes and have completely bald arms, legs, and everywhere else. I don’t know what ethnic group this characteristic comes from, but I do know I felt like a freak of nature the first time a man saw me naked because of it. :bag: My ex husband used to joke that it made him uncomfortable because it was like I hadn’t reached puberty–ummmmm I would think wearing a 36 DDD bra should have been enough to convince him that I had reached puberty–but he wasn’t terribly bright. :brownsista:

  83. @Des

    I have the clean freak thing going on too. I watch the show “Monk” and laugh hysterically because I’m like that. I also shower 3 times a day and have this “smell good” obsession. I work in a corporation and have to shake hands a lot—I carry purell in my pockets, bra, briefcase and whereever else I can so that I can discreetly disinfect my hands–especially if someone has sweaty palms. I wish that I didn’t have to touch strangers. I think that is right on the edge of having a real “issue”. I am a germaphobe and I think people carry way too many germs. :confused:

  84. @ Lee,

    Iceland? Wow. I would love to be able to travel the world one day. And I agree that it can open ALL of our lives if we become more ‘global’ in thinking. Americans can be very self-centered. LOL. Oh, and I’m en route to New Orleans for Spring Break. Another admittance: Even though I’m no longer in college, I still celebrate Spring Break. LOL

    @ Confused,

    Thank you for sharing that. God bless you. And please don’t think you are tainted. I can identify with the sexual abuse, but I’ve forgiven him and have been able to move on with my life. And I can also identify with the lack of intimacy shared with that someone special. Don’t give up hope; it will happen for you. Love yourself and you will be loved. God bless you again. :brownsista:

    @ Everyone,

    Thanks for sharing bits of yourself. This has been great. :brownsista:

  85. [quote comment=”20846″]How do I post here using my blackberry?[/quote]
    I have an LG Chocolate and I can still access the site and post. What’s the issue exactly? Can you not log on or…

  86. @Kanyade,

    I just didn’t know it could be done. So do I have to log onto the site through my web browser or is there a way to link my email to a particular post?

  87. Good morning, guys, I’ll admit it, I don’t feel like being here at work today. I am often bored here. Even though I have a good position (Marketing Assistant), I do all of my work pretty fast, so I spend the greater part of my day talking with all of you….which I love to do!
    Des, I am with you, I hope to have my own busines within the next two years, My husband and I spend our evenings working on that! Holla!

  88. Is what i confessed so horrible no comment, or so minimal no one cared to comment
    I need someone to acknowledge this deep, dark confession it took so much for me to type and then no acknowledgement kind of made me feel I should have kept it too myself :thumbsdown:

  89. ANA:
    Wow it was so small I didn’t see it. Well I don’t know what to say, I haven’t had any, but I would not advise you to have any more, my cousin has had 4 and now the doctor is saying there may be some complications if she ever wanted to have a baby! Should you become pregnant again, I’d say keep it, you never know who/what that child may grow up to be. Children can be a wonderful blessing. I have many neices and nephews and it makes my day to spend time with them :thumbsup:

  90. Go for it, Liyah! I would recommend these two books:

    “About My Sister’s Business” Fran Harris
    “Doing Business By The Good Book” David Steward and Robert Shook

    Nefertari, I don’t think you have a real “issue” I’ve seen all types of disgusting behavior from grown folks, so keep that purell handy 😆

  91. @Ana,

    I don’t think what you typed was ignored because people thought it was horrible at all. A number of comments on here have not been responded to. I think people are trying to be respectful of the fact that others are sharing things that might be emotionally painful, sensitive, and difficult for them to share.

    I know a few sisters who have had a number of abortions for various reasons. I had four children back to back very young–and it was a struggle so I do understand a lot of those sisters reasons. But in the end, it is your body and your life. I don’t think anyone can judge you.

    I am more amazed that in a group of black women–nobody has started preaching and telling others about how bad their confessions are–that is amazing and very beautiful to me. I’d say take the fact that people didn’t comment as evidence of their willingness to show empathy and care about your right to live your life.

  92. hey anna,
    what you admitted is definately a touchy subject. i am 100% pro life, but i do admit that not everybody has the same circumstances. i do hope that you be more careful when it comes to protection and birth control because that ish can mess you up mentally and physically. why did you do them though? i don’t want you to feel like i’m judging you.

  93. Thanks all. I finally got therapy and have started to heal and I will never be in that horrible situation again. If I ever decide to have a child I will accept and deal with the consequences of my actions.

  94. Thanks @ Kanyade…

    This was such a good idea….still looking over my shoulders so nobody can see its me…

  95. Thought I would ligten my myood at least:

    I am extremly tunred on by a guy with an earrign in his ear…I am so against diamonds because of the devasting situations in Africa…but when I see a black man and the contrast of the jewel against his skin…I have to close my legs…. and as well as that…tattos on the neck. and men with long braided hair v bald headed men..now I absolutely cant stand when people treat their body like a Post-it note…but that tatto thing gets me going….

  96. As for why, I was in abusive relationships from 19–26. I let men disrespect me and put my life at risk. I also grew up in an abusive household so I knew if I had a child that I was 2 weak to get myself out of that situation and why bring a baby into it. I had seen my father economically control my Mom and she was not able then to take care of us. She was from another country and just did not have the where with all to believe in herself so I followed suit. I did not believe that I could as a young woman take care of myself, get out of the relationship and take care of a child. My Father finally got therapy and stopped abusing my Mom but we never as a family got help or dealt with the issues. At 30 I finally stoped depending on others, got 2 jobs, paid off credit card debt, became celibate and jsut really faced myself. I still have never ever admitted to having 5 abortions. I told my Mom about 1 becuase I really and truly had a mental breakdown on my 30th bday.

  97. Ana i had two of them and i lost one in my tube so it was three. Baby u is not the only one. Yes it your body and do what u please. I have a wonderful 12 year old daugther that i love so much. Sometime it hurts me too but i look at my baby girl and she give me hope to move on from what i did. I have regret for one of them the other one that was in my tube i really wanted. I had lost my left tube because it was ruined. So keep your head up baby u be ok.

  98. This is such a fabulous idea. Here it goes

    1) Most of the people here are from the US, I’m from South Africa

    2)i too watch porn, esp lesbian porn and i am straight
    3)I am married to a gorgeous chocoltae brotha but have a soft spot for light skinned men (Common, Michael Ealy)
    4)i have long lng dreadlocks and i love them but some days i think of cutting them and getting a weave
    5)even though i should know better i comp0lain about the sun coz it makes me draker and i dont dig it
    6)My daddy kinda looks like Marvin Gaye
    7)my biggest fear is getting prgenant even tho i am married and finanially stable
    8)i need to lose at least 5 kg
    9) I am a writer

    i wanna make a longer list coz i wana tell the real dirt 🙂

  99. @Ana

    I’m proud of you for being strong enough to even acknowledge what you have been through. Many people never acknowledge it. Many women of color are too busy trying to be “Super woman” to acknowledge that we have way too much stress and pressure and that sometimes we snap from it. I stayed married to a physically, emotionally, and financially abusive man for 10 years too long. During that time, I sort of just zoned out mentally and pulled into myself in order to avoid snapping.

    What snapped me out of it was that one day in a rage he told me “you are JUST like your grandmother!” and it shocked me because I had told him that my grandmother was beaten to death, by her husband, in front of her children (when my mom was just a teen)….Something about having him say that to me just snapped me out of it and I got busy getting away from him. It took a long time to get away and a lot of work, court, bullets flying..everything.

    Don’t ever feel like you are scarred by past abuse. You survived it. Many of us survived it. Many of us won’t ever admit that we have been through it. Some of us still are. But YOU survived. Those are beauty marks–not battle scars.

    I really hope you know that.

    This is to all of the sisters on here who have been through abuse of any kind. You are a survivor. You aren’t weak. Sometimes being strong means knowing when something is too much for you and you have to get out.

    love to all of you.

  100. Ana you have whole life in front of you. Just take that experience and true it to a positive. Life is too short u can start now. Start going to place that u alway wanted to go. Enjoy life. U know what change me i lost my mother 5 years ago. She never enjoy her life she alway work and breath air for us (me and my sibling). I learn how to not stress myself out and keep on going with life. Stress kill u slowly. So go let your hair down and do the damn thing.

  101. ok anna,
    i’m sorry to heat that, but i am proud of you for taking control of your life. it takes a strong woman to take control of her life, and start to move on. like i said i didn’t want to make it seem like i was judging you. i know not everyone has had a picture perfect life and we do things for various reasons. i hope that your life continues on a positive track and that you heal from all you have been through.
    have a positive day everyone! gotta run to class!!!

  102. Hey Ana!

    I just want to say you are a fabulous person to acknowledge something hat ohers would never do, even to themselves. You did what you felt was best and that’s all that matters. Glad to see that you are taking measures that best suit your needs. Many blessings. And love yourself, FIRST!

  103. I truly and I mean Truly, Thank Everyone on this site for sharing and for acknowledging others.

    I watch lesbian porn and had the first orgasm of my life by myself and I fantasize about a woman but I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE SEX w/one…I guess it is true that women really are more beautiful than men.

    I got tired of people asking me about getting married that I wore an old engagement ring so I could stay celibate in peace

    I hate that people in my hometown, think my family is so awesome

    I LOVE MY JOB and I am doing so well at it, that I feel guilty

    I have made a decision to stop being a pretender but to be authentic

    I am thinking about posting on eharmony to start dating again

  104. I’m going to stop scraping the surface and admit something that I’m not proud of, but that I want to overcome…

    I love black women, and want to be close to black women—but I do not trust black women.

    I have had men come on to me my whole life, and many of them were married or had women. I would chastise the men and tell them they were wrong for doing that and that I wouldn’t hurt another sister like that–but in my first marriage, black women were more than willing to cheat with my ex-husband, even some who knew me personally. That hurt me on a deep level because although I didn’t love him anymore–I was hurt because I felt that a sisterhood bond had been breached.

    With my current husband, who has been my best friend for years, and is the love of my life, I have had women who were my “good friends” be so attracted to him, that one was silly enough to tell me that she was offended that whenever she called the house for me, he wouldn’t hold a conversation with her. She later slipped and told a friend that she thought my husband was “real sexy” and the friend told my husband and I to “watch her”. He doesn’t talk to my friends because he doesn’t want any confusion or misunderstandings–he knows how it feels to be betrayed by a spouse as well.

    So I guess my problem is that I know that a lot of men cheat–and that is just the way it is. (not ALL men but a lot), but what I don’t understand is why black women, who know better than anyone else how lonely and painful life can be, are so willing to inflict pain on other black women.

    I don’t understand it and it makes me wary and quite frankly, afraid to get close to sisters, despite the fact that I really enjoy the company of other black women. I just don’t trust “us”.

    I hate to admit that because I’m so pro-black..but I don’t trust sisters when it comes to a man.

    Help?

  105. Hey my name is amber and reading all of your comments have been really helpful
    i just turned 17 and my parents will finally let me date… my mama always told me “you don’t have to prove anything to anyone “(her secretive way of telling me not to have sex…with out REALLY telling me) …but NOW i actually c…i wont be the only one not doing it!! AND im really tall 5’10 and i STILL feel a little insecure about my height even though i try not to let people know, i NEVER wear heels (flats are my thing)…but….thanks for that guys!!

  106. Just to lighten the mood a bit…

    What is it with the lesbian porn??? I guess I need to get on the ball, huh? (Or maybe get OFF the ball… 🙂 )

  107. To all the women and men on here…I hope you all forgive urselfs first and foremost… I admitting I was 30 was funny because I am jsut now starting to feel alive and open to life!

    God BLess and Keep you all!

  108. @Amber

    Proud of you! A lot more women hold themselves than people think. Oh, and by the way, I was insecure about my height in high school too. Now at 34 I can tell you that men love tall women. I have never had a man approach me who did not talk about me being “tall,” “long legged” “statuesque” “stacked” etc. Hold your back up straight and strut. :brownsista: :dance:

  109. @ Nia, lebian porn is fun coz women’s bodies are so damn sexy,we cant help it

  110. @ Nefetari white women have the exact same mistrust…the world is telling us that all men cheat so ALOT of people figure the grass is greener on the other side.

    Try to talk to ur friends openly about the distrust and figure out where it is coming from. So many of us have brought into there are no good men that we may fall for the okie doke and thing I am going to steal away her good thing..

  111. Ok guys, i must get back to work but I will defnitely be back!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  112. Hey amber love your height girl stand up tall. Im 6’1 wear 2-3 inches of heels. Yes listen 2 your mother and enjoy life. At your age i enjoy my life i would never turn back the clock.

  113. I’m in London and log onto this blog everyday!Steph this was such a brilliant idea!! :hifive:

  114. [quote comment=”20850″]@Kanyade,

    I just didn’t know it could be done. So do I have to log onto the site through my web browser or is there a way to link my email to a particular post?[/quote]
    Linking the email to a post is something maybe Stephanie can help with. 🙂 I just have the URL of this site saved in my list of favorites and that’s how I access. :brownsista:

  115. 1)i secretly want to be able to make the whole world appreciate the beauty of Africa!

  116. @lisa lisa

    Thanks. I know a lot of good men. I think there are more out there than the media would have us think–we just have to let go of some of our preconceptions. For instance, my husband has two earrings, a tongue ring, a strong Brooklyn accent, and over 12 tattoos that aren’t visible in business attire. If I had gone by what he “appeared to be” when we became friends, I would have missed out on a really sweet, gentle, caring man.

    I only have one close female friend now. I trust her. But I want to be able to be more trusting of sisters generally. It is hard to love someone who you don’t trust–you know?

  117. Hey Nefetari,

    My opinion, and only mine, is that everything starts with you. If you don’t trust then you create mistrustful situations–whether personal and/or professional. I don’t know if society or family is where you got these ideas of mistrust. But at the end of the day… like you define yourself– you define friendships, relationships. If you don’t trust yourself then you want trust anoher black woman/women. So I am saying check yourself, first. Seriously. Get you in order and see if things change. Like I said, this is only my opinion. I love my people, nonetheless. :thumbsup:

  118. This may sound a little off but you dnt have to be more trusting because Everyone Can not be trusted…I just do not want you to think it is a sista thing or that sistas are the only women who lust for their “friends man”

    Most people are blessed to have 1 Friend and then others are acqaiutences (sp). Ask God to bring friends in your life and maybe you should concentrate on having co-friendships with other married couples.

    Alot of women who are not married really dont truly understand the covenant of marriage and want it but do not see the work behind it, that doesn’t make something wrong with them but they have brought into that Mess on TV and in the movies.

    Now I hate to go there but u should put ur trust in urself and realize, a husband will only be a cheater if he is a cheater so no amount of coming on from friend will matter. Open up to friends of all races and realize some will come and go but 1 may grow into a deep trust worthy love!

  119. @Lee,

    How can I create in another person the desire to be with someone elses husband?

  120. Damn Nefertari he got all of that u got u a man lol. I see why them women is after him. I be cutting and dices over that lol. As long you know your husband love you and can trust him do not worry about it. When a woman see u happy in any thing they try to take your joy away from u. Some women need to get there own man and be happy. I only have a few friends that i can trust. I use to roll with alot but it good to role with a little. love this site lol. Go nefe

  121. Hey Nefe,

    I hear you girl. Like I said, it’s my opinion. I look at things a little deeper. I do believe if you think something enough, it will appear. At the end of the day, I believe, no one belongs to you and vice versa. Marriage is in the heart, not on a piece of paper. No one can disrespect you, unless you allow them too. I suggest you state at the beginning or as you get to know someone, where you are at as a person and how you like to be treated. Child, what is common sense for you, ain’t so common for other folks! I do believe you create your own world. If people ain’t complying then send them to another damn planet. LOL
    These are my opinions. I am in the Middle East, friday’s a oly day here so no work! Peace

  122. [quote comment=”20845″]@Majesa,

    You said that you hate body hair. Here is a really odd one for you–I don’t grow any body hair at all. I thought I was weird growing up until I was around 20 and my mother told me that she has none either–nor do her sisters. I would not know how to use a razor if you gave me one. I have curled dredlocs down the middle of my back and I have eyebrows that are pretty light, but I barely have eyelashes and have completely bald arms, legs, and everywhere else. I don’t know what ethnic group this characteristic comes from, but I do know I felt like a freak of nature the first time a man saw me naked because of it. :bag:

    My ex husband used to joke that it made him uncomfortable because it was like I hadn’t reached puberty–ummmmm I would think wearing a 36 DDD bra should have been enough to convince him that I had reached puberty–but he wasn’t terribly bright.

    :brownsista:[/quote]

    I am so Jealous… :hmph: I’ve been hating body hair since it first appeared, so I’ve have more than my fair share of products and razors. My brows are naturally thicker, too. It’s a hassle getting them waxed because they will grow right back. I worry ,because I hear I look fairly young ,that my habit of getting rid of all my body hair is going to be very creepy to whatever guy I end up with. I fear it would make me seem like more a little girl than the woman that I am. Still, I’d trade a lot to be hairless permanently without them burning it all off for awhile…which is on my to-do list in life.

  123. @ Ana:

    I didn’t comment simply because I didn’t know what kind of response you wanted, and since it’s such a personal subject and choice, I didn’t want to bother it too much. I was once pro-life, but I’ve been pro-choice for a while now. If you truly didn’t want those kids and didn’t feel that it was the right time, then you made the right choice for yourself. I truly believe that people shouldn’t have kids they don’t want, because that’s how a lot of bad things end up happening. Left and right Kids are being abused, killed, growing up in homes that they were never wanted in, and despised by parents who didn’t want them either. I’m certainly not saying that this is you or would have been your fate or the fate of your children. I’m simply making a point that it really is a choice and life that women shouldn’t be forced into. You didn’t want to bring kids into a bad situation, and I certainly understand that. I have a cousin who has been nothing short of abused and hated by his mother and stepfather for a great deal of his 17 years, and I really feel that no kid should be put through that. My own mom got a divorce from my father when I was 8, and it’s the best thing she could have ever done for us and for me. He was an abuser, though I rarely saw the physical violence because my mother hid it well. She only revealed to me recently just how scared she was and how he would come and try to force his way into the house while she was steady holding a gun on the other side should he come through.

    It’s brave of you to come out and reveal such personal things about yourself and your past, and I truly respect it. All this talk has made me remember things that I had long ago pushed to the back of my mind.

  124. Hey Stefanie!!!

    Don’t know if ou read all these comments but I can say that you really helped a lot of people today. Sending you much love and respect. May God continue blessing you. Peace

    I’m gonna be a regular now!

  125. @ Nefe,
    I’m glad you brought this subject up because I think many women deal with trust issues of other women. Here is my four cents.

    First of all, as long as you know that you and your husband have a good foundation, and trust him completely, you should be able to trust him around other women. No matter how flirty, sexy, or attractive they are.

    Second, you brought up an good point, why do sistas choose to hurt each other when all of us know about struggle and pain. It’s just like my girl MJB says “they’ll never be happy cause their not happy with themselves”. They don’t know who they are and they hate themselves and don’t care who they hurt just to get some happiness. In other words they want what you have, and they would rather take yours instead of waiting for theirs to come along.
    Third, your first husband did not love himself either. When he was cheating with those women he was looking for some to complete him, make him feel special, sexy, attractive, whatever. He wasn’t secure in who he was. You must realize there is nothing you can do, to make a man feel secure and complete.

    Lastly, if a women shows you that she is not worthy of your friendship, leave her alone. You should always be discerning when it comes to relationships with others, so its ok to enter into relationships with caution.

  126. 1. I think lesbian porn is boring b/c I lived a lesbian life and much more goes on than eating and double sided dilldos.

    2. I wish I didn’t love MARY JANE as much as I do.

    3. I’m getting married for the first time at 35, in May.

    4. I am way too judgemental and I actually think I’m better than most people I know. (Battling that)

    5. I am not as interested in “grown” people’s music as I probably should be. “Grown” and “Mature” songs tend to bore me.

    6. This is the first time I’ve been in a relationship that gurarantees an orgasm.

    7. I have a MAJOR crush on Beyonce – it’s beyond Stan level.

    8. Jay-Z talks to me in dreams — I believe it’s really him b/c he tells me things that are upcoming…and then they happen.

    9. I’m really NOT crazy although sometimes I like to let ppl think I am. :banana:

    10. I am deathly afraid of long freeway drives (will take the street) and vicious dogs (pitt bulls should be BANNED).

  127. @lisa lisa and Lee and others. Thank you.

    What you stated has been my experience. The blessing is that I have a really good man who was my friend before he was my husband. I trust him which is AMAZING because had I taken cues from my first husband, I wouldn’t trust any man. He also went to great pains to show me that I could trust him and to “teach me” that all men aren’t the same. He was just a blessing in so many ways and I’m grateful for him. I also don’t believe anyone “belongs” to you. My ex used to beat my a$$ because he thought I belonged to him. I don’t like the concept at all.

    My question is more about wanting to be able to feel “safe” with other women. To a large extent, because I never dated and honestly, I have never been single as an adult–I don’t really understand the pursuit of a man. I don’t have a frame of reference for it. So I’m not saying “I hate women who do this and that and this and that”…I am saying I truly do not trust them, because I don’t “get” where the drive to have a man can be so strong that you would hurt another sister. I’ve never experienced it, and NOT because I’m so great, I’m not. I haven’t experienced it because I have never been single (although I did have a ten year time period where I wished to god that I was single.).

    If anyone feels safe enough to talk about it, I want to understand what drives a woman to be “ok” with wanting another woman’s man. My email is chocolatepeach2000@yahoo.com

    I truly want to understand because otherwise I won’t be able to build the ability to trust women.

  128. well smokie tell me if jay-z get married ok. I love me some jay-z. I love him since street is watching. I went to all his concert when he came to town front row alway lol. Let me know that one.

  129. @ Lee, I do see this truth in what you stated…It is VERY VERY possible, that in trying to understand a “certain kind of woman”, I pursued friendships and attracted to myself women who were more prone to go after another woman’s man. I fully believe in the power of attraction and to that extent, I see your point. It could be that its NOT that I can’t trust other women, but rather that I surround myself with women who should not be trusted–so only I can fix that. I do have a good friend who I would trust butt naked in the bed with my husband. But only one–in my whole lifetime.

  130. @Lady…

    Girl…I will put it to you this way–he was my best friend, and he was so “all that” that when I first MET him I said to my friend “ummm..no—I don’t want anything to do with him..he will make me act a total fool”. I then proceeded to run like the dickens from him for the next 7 years.

    What’s instructive though are these additional facts…regarding “good black men”:

    I’m a corporate attorney. My husband works as a supervisor in a blue coller field. He is nothing like the lawyer type brothers who I went to school with and worked around. Most women in my field would never slow down long enough to see how wonderful a blue collar man can be. He works hard everyday. He brings his check to me and tells me to give him back what I don’t need. He has never turned down overtime unless I ask him to. He is old fashioned like a grandpa and loves to fix things. He is quiet…a poet. Just finished having his first poetry book published. He wasn’t pushing a benz when we met, he doesn’t flash, he isn’t in the streets. He is one of those quiet, nice men who a lot of women would think are too “boring”.

    2. If he had not pursued me–I am so stupid, I would have looked right past him because I too had a “bad boy” jones.

    Live and learn.

    But yes, he is the shiznit. Love him. Grateful for him. Before we got together–when we were friends, I watched him go through a couple of relationships where the women were talking down to him and looking down at him because he was blue collar. He lost his first adult relationship because the woman wanted a dope boy and couldn’t take the fact that he decided that he would rather work hard for less pay–than get stuck in the street life. She cheated then left.

    You know what though, his signature line on his email is:

    “My clothes may be dirty–but my hands are clean”.

    That is a good good man.

  131. @ Ana,

    A lot of us have had abortions. Maybe not 5 (but don’t be fooled), but ENOUGH.

  132. @Tip

    Thank you that is great advice. I did get rid of a couple of them. I HAD to because as sweet and “we are the world” as I am–I have a temper when provoked. I loaded a 32, drove to her job, went to the front desk and asked for her by NAME, and was fully prepared to put some hot lead in her….My stepson apparently called my husband and he rushed to the woman’s job and caught me before they paged her. It was that serious. I am so glad she didn’t come downstairs because I would have lost EVERYTHING, and would probably be in jail because I was so serious…

    That was several years ago. After that I took a position as a public defender and worked with women in prison. I had a lot more empathy for them because it showed me just how fast things can go wrong. Nobody is worth that. I appreciate the time I spent as a public defender because I know “There but for the grace of God go I”….

    Gheesh…Stephanie, this post is great.

  133. [quote comment=”20901″]@Lady…

    I’m a corporate attorney. My husband works as a supervisor in a blue coller field. He is nothing like the lawyer type brothers who I went to school with and worked around. Most women in my field would never slow down long enough to see how wonderful a blue collar man can be. He works hard everyday. He brings his check to me and tells me to give him back what I don’t need. He has never turned down overtime unless I ask him to. He is old fashioned like a grandpa and loves to fix things. He is quiet…a poet. Just finished having his first poetry book published. He wasn’t pushing a benz when we met, he doesn’t flash, he isn’t in the streets. He is one of those quiet, nice men who a lot of women would think are too “boring”.

    He lost his first adult relationship because the woman wanted a dope boy and couldn’t take the fact that he decided that he would rather work hard for less pay–than get stuck in the street life. She cheated then left.

    You know what though, his signature line on his email is:

    “My clothes may be dirty–but my hands are clean”.

    That is a good good man.[/quote]

    Wow!!!!!!! Now this was true revelation! You just made me love my man…lol.

  134. I’m tucking all this relationship stuff in my mental hard drive. I’ve never been in a serious “OMG, our lives are intertwined!” kind of relationship (or any relationships I call real at all), so needless to say I’ve had no real drama in that area.

    I had a dream I was killing zombies with Katt Williams, on the off hand, and I’ve been trying to figure that out forever. I don’t even remotely care for Katt Williams.

  135. @Unknown,

    That’s my post sis, but I have a feeling Lady and I have a lot in common. Hold that man. We really have to rethink what society has taught us about what makes a man.

    I had relatives calling me when Tyler Perry’s “Daddy’s Little Girl” came out saying “Oh Veronica I get it now!”.

    I wanted to tell them…”ok…well, I “getit” all the time, and its very good. :lol2: because they looked down on him in the beginning.

    There ARE lazy brothers out there who just want a woman to take care of them. But there are a lot of really good men out there too, who will NEVER earn what you earn. My husband keeps trying, but it is unlikely he will ever outearn me. Heck I’ve been in school for a bijillion years, I have a BA, JD and LLM…he will probably never out-earn me–but that isn’t what makes him a man.

    He showed me what it felt like to be loved and cherished…He loves our children…I tried to get on my knees to scrub the kitchen floor when we first got married and he pulled me up–he won’t let me get on my knees at all…He said “a woman has no business on her knees…so he scrubs it if its low.
    Let me tell you, I wouldn’t trade this man for Bill Gates. And I LOVE money. But that is just not what makes a man, a MAN.

  136. I have a question, I know ther have been comments about people encoutering sexual abuse. What would you do if you felt your father looking at you a little more often than usual? I know sometimes it’s hard for dad’s to believe that their daughters is a woman now, and grow up. I haven’t been sexually abused by him or at all, it just makes me very uncomfortable and I don’t want to bring it up…

  137. YESSSSS Nefertar that what im talking about. I make more money than my man too but money do not make the man. It the small things that count with the man. If he doing things for u that u never use too just open doors, holding your hand kissing u on the forehead just little stuff like that or just listening how your day went at the job. That where some people go wrong it have to be big b4 small. In my case it start off small and work on the big things together. I think when u get older u see reality. I SEE REALITY.

  138. @Nefertari

    I am so sorry! I don’t know how I got you two mixed up. I was so engulfed with the post itself that I completely addressed the wrong person.

    Thank you, Nefertari, for your wisdom and assisting me in receiving full understanding of my situation. You, and everybody else, in this forum are in my prayers. Peace.

  139. @Peace….

    Do you have a female relative or male relative who you TRUST and who you can talk to? I say relative because if no abuse is occuring, and you go to school with it, it could get more serious than it might warrant, but you DO need to tell someone how you are feeling. Most dads that I know (and mine) were very uncomfortable with their daughters developing into women, and would moreso AVOID looking at you than look at you more…

    I don’t think you need to talk to your dad about it…he won’t take it very well whether you are right or mistaken. But you need to talk to someone who knows both of you and can give you some insight and support.

    Believe it or not, as you grow into a woman, you get this “sense of things” that alerts you when something is just not right…I think God gave it to us to protect us from predators…so you HAVE to trust that. Don’t ignore it.

    Please tell us that you are going to find someone you trust and talk to them.

  140. @Unknown,

    We all should send Stephanie roses because this has helped me more than anyone knows. Glad I could share.

  141. Thank Nef, I am married and I can talk to my husband about anything, its’ just that my dad has been a great dad all of my life to me and I don’t want to make him look bad. He and my mom are still together and he has been a great life example and always been there for all of us, this is his only flaw (that I see) and my husband respects him and trusts him, I don’t want to change that. All of my female friends say I am so blessed to have a dad like him, my husband as well

  142. @Nef (can I call you this for short?)

    Great advice! I had asked “Peace” to better determine how she should proceed, but I see you waste no time and get straight to the point. Love it!!!!! Thanks!!!!

  143. I usually don’t read all the comments made on most topics but I have been reading this one religiously lee and I am really amazed at the response. Some of the comments have made me cry, laugh, but almost all of them have made me think. It’s amazing how much so many of us have in common. I can’t really speak/type much because some of the comments have left me emotionally drained. The abortions, sexual abuse, failed relationships- I guess we have all experienced it and it’s kinda painful just reading what so many other sistas have gone through. Sometimes I wonder why life has to be so hard. Why can’t the people we love love us back? Damn….

  144. @Peace and Unknown

    Whew..ok….I was a social worker before I went to law school Peace and your post sent me into Crisis mode. Thanks for explaining. I was pacing in my office thinking you were 13. Unknown, your approach was best. 🙂

  145. STEPHANIE IT MAKE THE WORLD GO AROUND U KNOW GOOD BAD AND THE UGLY. YES I AGREE WHY PEOPLE CAN NOT LOVE US BACK. YES I BEEN READING THE COMMENTS TOO IT MAKE ME THINK ALOT SINCE IT BEEN POSTED. IM NOT GOING TO LIE IT MAKE ME FEEL SO GOOD AND THINK ABOUT MY SISTERS AND SEE WHAT WE BEEN GOING THROUGH. I GOING TO TELL U WE R THE STRONGEST HUMAN BEING ON THIS EARTH. AND FOR US TO COME TOGETHER AND TELL THINGS THAT WE WILL NOT DREAM TO TELL IS A BIG STEP IN R OWN LIFE AND OTHER. LOVE THIS SITE LOL.

  146. @Lady…I was just sitting here thinking…Man…Brown Sistas are the SHIZNIT. We go through all of this and we are still STANDING?! We are the strongest people on the planet. We must be very special to God.

  147. @Peace

    Now that I know you aren’t 13 and I have regained all of the blood that rushed from my brain when I read your first post…..

    Do you feel like you are in danger? If you don’t feel like you are in danger–I would probably leave it alone. Maybe your father is just amazed that someone who he made–can be as beautiful as you are.

    If you have a good relationship with him, and you aren’t in any danger from him, maybe you really don’t need to know.

    This feels like its bad advice, but I’m being honest about how I would feel.

  148. There are actually people that I look up to on this site, now…how cute, but weird. 😆 :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

  149. [quote comment=”20930″]@Peace

    Now that I know you aren’t 13 and I have regained all of the blood that rushed from my brain when I read your first post…..

    Do you feel like you are in danger? If you don’t feel like you are in danger–I would probably leave it alone. Maybe your father is just amazed that someone who he made–can be as beautiful as you are.

    If you have a good relationship with him, and you aren’t in any danger from him, maybe you really don’t need to know.

    This feels like its bad advice, but I’m being honest about how I would feel.[/quote]

    @ Nef
    Aw man…you are beautiful!!!!

  150. I think you are right, Thanks Nef, I had no idea you were a social worker, I guess I just did kind of talk to some one. And thank you UNKNOWN for your concern as well, I have NEVER spoken on this issue to any one, this was a great relief. Thank you guys and thanks stephanie, there has been no hate on this blog and I love it it’s beautiful (I’m crying). I love my daddy, I really do, and I would never want to hurt him, but I don’t think he knows how much it hurts me. I just pray often for God to draw it to his attention so that it would stop.

  151. @Unknown,

    Thank you for the love, but girl…I have ISSUES. Didn’t you read above where I confessed that I drove to womans JOB with a loaded firearm fully intending to end her life—over a MAN who wasn’t even thinking about her? :confused: I wish they had a “stone crazy” smiley face on here because I knew right then that I have ISSUES. 😎

    I love black women though. Its funny, my mom had 7 sisters, I had none. I always wished I could have had that experience. My aunties are/were the bomb–some of them messy but overall just the bomb.
    I love black women but this post let me know that I really miss black women because I isolated myself so I could feel safe. This whole thing was beautiful.

    I haven’t gotten a dangonned thing done at work today though–That’s how I know that I have to make some changes because I miss sisters more than I realized.

  152. @Peace, I am crying now. I know how you feel. I was really close to my dad but there were things he did that made me uncomfortable and I never talked to anyone because I was never sure whether it should have made me uncomfortable.

    He died last December. It was sudden and it broke my heart. I have to admit that I never really experienced loss before then. There were a lot of things I wish I had said to him and a lot of things I wish I had not said to him.

    Listen and then think about your situation…what made me uncomfortable was that from the time I was little up until his death, my father always kissed me with a peck on the lips. Not forehead or cheek like most men change up to when their daughters get older. It was only a quick peck, much like my children give me today, but they are really young.

    Guess What–

    After he died, my mother was talking to me about my father’s mother. She told me that my father’s mother disliked my father because he looked like HIS father (her ex) and she always pushed him away. She would never kiss my father on the lips and if he kissed her on the lips she wiped it off. My mother said that my father was hurt over that as a child, and even as a grown man, it felt like rejection to him. For his whole life, he kept kissing his mother on the lips, to see if she would wipe if off–because he wanted to finally feel that she didn’t reject him.

    i realized at that moment that he had been kissing me on the lips because for him, it meant that he wasn’t rejected…

    I’m so glad that I never amped out on him about it now–because I really had NO idea what was behind it. It wasn’t sexual, it had everything to do with love, and nothing to do with anything dirty. But I thought it did.

    I don’t know what to tell you to do. If there is a way for you to find out whats behind it, you may find that it isn’t anything dirty. But at the same time, if it hurts you, and you feel unsafe, then you have to protect yourself too.

    Just know that “daddies” have childhood pain too. Try to find out whats behind it. I hope that you can. I really miss my dad.

  153. Stefanie! Girl, you doing good work here! Child, you have helped peole to work out karma and look at themselves through the experiences of other people. Stefanie, that’s the thing people forget—WE ARE ALL CONNECTED. I learned this more so by traveling te World. I have been in places where hey did not understand my words nor I they. But a glance in my eyes, hand gesture or just a “feeling” said EVERYTHING. Words are just like 10% of true communication. Every lack person knows what I’m talking about–we got a “look” a “nod” down o a science.LOL. The funny thing about you Stef is that this blog entry started from well, you being honest and bored…and this is probably one of your best post, as feedback (I can hear Janet now) that you’ve ever had. Whatever these postings make you feel, be glad that you can FEEL. You helped a lot of folks. God Bless

  154. My dad has been through alot as a child. His father was really there for him. He drank a lot so my gramma took the brunt of raising them, (7) of them. As a result, my father is very loving sometimes annoying but I appreciate it. I don’t know what’s behind it and I don’t know if I wanna know. I am hour glass shaped like my mom, perhaps I remind him of my mother when she was younger, I dont’ know. I don’t feel like I am in danger at all, I just feel like I need to wear sweats when he is around, b/c I see him look at my bottom and sometimes my ches if I have a low cut shirt on.. We are a spiritual family I guess that’s why I don’t feel real danger. I truly believe he loves God. As a matter of fact, there are times when I can see God working in his life. I have even witnessed him under the spirit in church. Maybe God is dealing with him. I don’t think he likes it about himself but I think he just can’t help it.

  155. Stephanie,
    I love this site, and this post was the best! You started it because you were tired and bored with talking about celebrities. I can see how that gets boring, because besides promoting new projects there is really nothing interesting that we get to know about them. Some of the exceptions are artist like MJB and Keisha that are so open and free about their lives. Sometimes it’s easy for ordinary people to want to be rich and famous, but they don’t realize they are just as interesting as the stars they idolize. Are you still bored?
    Sistas and brothers,
    This post goes to show that no matter how old you are, no matter where you’re from, or what you’ve been through, you are fearfully and wonderfully made!! All of you are somebody and live a life that is extraordinary. This is proof in the way that we have inspired and motivated each other with our stories. We have encouraged each other in here with our stories and that is a beautiful thing!
    Thanks again Step!

  156. [quote comment=”20894″]I have gray hairs in my cooch :bag:[/quote]

    NIA YOU CRAZY FOR THAT ONE!!!

    :lol2: :lol2: :lol2:

  157. Nef, just to acknowledge you and your situation. I am sorry your dad passed, and I know you miss him, but your story has helped me a great deal. My mom lost both of her parents and she said with time it gets easier but you neve get over it, I pray that dealing with this loss will get easier for you. Thank you so much….and I am glad you got to know the real reason behind your fathers [innocent] affection.

  158. Hmmmmm@Steph and everybody else…

    Can you just imagine how powerful we would be if all of the barriers and issues between black women were removed on a large scale? I am starting to think that the “there are no good black men” data/stats out there are put out there to keep us fighting because maybe the world knows how strong we are and fears what would happen if we ever came together and said:

    irrespective of:
    age
    religion
    national origin (i.e. West Indian, African, African-American, Korean-African, etc…)
    marital status
    income
    profession
    education
    sexual preference

    we are brown sisters and we have had ENOUGH of the dumb stuff…This is what we want…and we want it now!

    I bet the world would stop and pay attention.

    Maybe that’s the whole point, to keep us mistrusting one another and fighting over resources and hating over big booties :mrgreen: or wavy hair or light vs.dark

    Maybe that’s the point….
    Steph I wish I could give you a big hug.

  159. I am guessing that after this post there will be a less people being called “hater” because of a simple difference in opinion or in taste. I feel there is a lot more respect now and sisterhood is in full force.

    The reason I loved this site at first was because of the respect everyone had when commenting and I will admit that I was put off by the constant bickering in the comment box, so I stopped reading the comments. But I’m glad I read the comments for this post, it really made me reflect on my life. I have a new-found faith in men, in relationships, in life in general. Thank you to all my beautiful sisters and brothers.

  160. Nefertari you right and gives good advise too :thumbsup: . I know who to talk to when im at work lol. Stephanie u started something. This blog got more comment then beyonce ones lol.

  161. Steph you should have posts like this once a month or something, just focusing on us real people.

  162. Seriously it about us and we just need to pay attention to us give each other advise LET STOP THE HATE AND EMBRACE EACH OTHER BECAUSE WE R BEAUTIFUL BLACK WOMEN. EVERYONE HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEKEND. TO MY GIRL Nefertari, UNKNOWN AND PEACE U HAVE A BLESS ONE. TALK WITH U MONDAY.

  163. Lady its’ called a gravatar, I forgot how I did it, its been so long, my advice would be to e-mail brownsista (contact us at the top of the website)

  164. Have a good evening ladies, Nefertari, your the bomb..so are you stephanie. We’ve got to do this again soon. God bless.

  165. @ Ana- I too didn’t respond because I didn’t know if you really wanted someone to say anything.
    I’m glad you posted what you did cause you help me remember two Summers ago when my cousin told me about a girl in her hometown that had just had her fourth abortion- I went on a mad rant totally dissing the girl and pretty much cursing anyone and everyone that has had an abortion. I’ve grown a lot since that Summer and I’m not as naive or judgemental as I use to be and your post help me realize that there’s a reason behind the things that ppl do and you can’t really judge if you haven’t been in that situation.

    @ “Amberia” you sound like such a sweetie.

    @ sfsinger- I feel you more than you’ll ever know.

    To ALL the women that have talked about how great of a husband they have- Thank you so much. Gives me hope!

    @ Des- You amaze me! I think you’re the woman I imagine myself to be.

    To everyone posting: I’m feeling better knowing that some of the things ya’ll admit or some of the things I forget to admit- Keep ’em coming, please!

    More of Mine:

    23.) I so want to pose for Playboy once I’m 30 yrs old or older.

    24.) I’m not my crushes body type and that I was even though I HATE the body type he like on women.

    25.) I feel like someone reading is saying, “If she mentions this damn crush ONE MORE TIME…” 😆

    26.) I’m mad at God…. AGAIN!

    27.) I’m scared that my brother and sis-in-law may start one of our business ventures w/o me. AND I’m mad that I’m too scared to just do it on my own since everythings been put on hold just because they’re expecting their first child-

    28.) it’s always been about when it’s more convient for “them”- everyone in my life or that was in my life so I distance myself from friends and say “no” when certain family members invite to do something with.

    29.) I have resentment towards some immediate family members.

    30.) I hate with a passion that I don’t hear from “him” Thursday-Sunday (I get moody).

  166. Awww darnit. You guys have ME crying now. LOL. My boss is looking at me like WTH? LOL Seriously though, this has been awesome. All the love in this thread. Seriously, I may not know you personally my brownsistas but I love ya and respect you so much! We are some wonderful people, aren’t we? We’re still standing, we’re still strong! 😆

    Anyhoo, all joking aside, I just want to say again to Stephanie thanks for this post that you probably thought would never go anywhere. This has been just so amazing, really. I wish for everyone to have a joyous and blessed weekend and I’ll see you all on Monday! Peace and blessings, lovelies! :brownsista:

  167. I have to ask if anyone else thinks it’s weird for middle-school students to have their graduations pics photoshopped? My sister’s just came back and the studio photoshopped the pictures so the kids would have perfect complexions and whatnot. A friend of my sister’s has a scar on her face, as well as acne, and in her picture it’s all gone so she looks as perfect as possible. They also whitened everyone’s smile. It has that dreamy, hazy look in the pictures too.

    I’m sure that middle-school students want to look perfect , but this is a little creepy. They’re just school pictures.

  168. [quote comment=”20724″]Wow, five years of celibacy. How have you done it? The longest I went without was about a year and that was because I chose not to date and instead focus on my studies. Men have always been my weakness. 😀 I have been making up for loss time though :booty:[/quote]

    i’ve been celibate for about ten years. i’ve got her beat.

  169. [quote comment=”20963″]I have to ask if anyone else thinks it’s weird for middle-school students to have their graduations pics photoshopped? My sister’s just came back and the studio photoshopped the pictures so the kids would have perfect complexions and whatnot. A friend of my sister’s has a scar on her face, as well as acne, and in her picture it’s all gone so she looks as perfect as possible. They also whitened everyone’s smile. It has that dreamy, hazy look in the pictures too.

    I’m sure that middle-school students want to look perfect , but this is a little creepy. They’re just school pictures.[/quote]
    If it’s like a regular old yearbook photo then NO, that ain’t okay. But if it’s like pictures similar to Prom Pictures, Spring Photos or like Senior pictures, then I think it’s cool. If it’s professionally done images for a special occasion, I can see photoshopping…but if it’s not. LOL

  170. wow!!! I don’t go on this site daily; but something today drew me to this site today and I am glad it did…this was awesome!! It is really great to see black sisters “uping” each other instead of gossiping and talking down on one another 😎 :bowdown:

  171. This was a nice thread today. A little too emotional, but real good, still.

    @ Peace, I don’t really know about that daddy. :confused:

  172. Oh its so emotional 🙂 im over sensitive u guys !!!! group hug and no more fighting?
    let me admit a couple more stuff:

    1)i have anger management issues :thumbsdown: i go tic tic tic kaboom because i keep stuff inside of me and when im pissed off no one stand on my way i will punch kick and bodyslammed “voice” had been a victim once ^^
    2) i had anal sex 😆 :bag: 😆
    beside:
    you guys my new borns are driving me crazy i cant do nothing as i type right now they are asleep and that is when i can take a shower cook for my man and clean the house and i have to go back to work soon i don’t feel good living them with a nanny help!

  173. oh wow. this thread ahs gotten longer and deeper.

    @ Stephanie
    oh my gosh. i was on janetjackson.com and saw someone with the screename brownsista…..is that you?

    here are some more thingys to admit to
    1) i have asthma and have faked weasing to gt out of school before. not many times just when i didn’t feel like going.

    2) for some reason i have never had a guy attracted to me….that i knew of in a long time. i feel lonely or mad ugly because i just can’t wrap my mind around the fact that i haven’t found a guy yet. i know i’m young but it gets tiring when i see all my friends are dating and such and my family keeps making fun of me for not having a boyfriend.

    3) ever since my grandmother died i’ve changed a bit. i keep my feelings to my self more than ever and my mother has been on a non stop wuest to find out why i don’t smile and why do look like i have a distant and unhappy demeanor about me.

    4) a quick question that i hope someone answers……i know all of you guys have talked about watching lesbian pornin here but is it wired to watch gay male porn? hmm….

    5) i don’t fight at all but i feel like if i keep holding things inside i will most definately hurt someone in the worst way ….aka snap on someone. i’ve had the urge to pull out a knife on a couple of occassions and do damage but i never do. i just walk away and try to forget it.

    6) i have graduated high school. class of 07. but i haven’t started going to college yet and it bugs the shiz out of me because i really want to go. it’s not a financial problem it’s just that i can’t go for other reasons. i feel like my life has stopped before it even got a chance to begin. i dislike having to rely on “people” to get my life rolling.

    7) i am 5′ 6″ 1/2 but i want to be a little bit taller.

    8) I dont like having grown men tell me what to do…..i’m not disobedient it’s just that i have never had a father. never had a guy to replace him either. and i don’t believe that any grown man can really control me or discipline me. kinda goes back to the whole wanting to pll out a knife incident with my aunts husband…..(not my uncle).

    9) i know i’m 18 so i guess being depressed doesn’t seem possible but i have been in a deep funk for a long time. many things have been on my mind and i can’t let go.

    10) i am much more sensitive than people think. i put on this whole whatever front like sh-t doesn’t bother me but it does.

    11) i don’t like crying. i feel like it doesn’t solve anything and is just a waste of time. therefore i become annoyed when people cry near me. i try to either make them smile or stop crying.

    12) i realize that men not being there is something that is reoccurant in my family. me, my mommee, grandmother and i’m sure my great grandmother too. i’m afraid of having that end up happening to me. and i wonder why all these guys couldn’t just be there period. i can’t stand my father for the simple fact that he tries to act like sh-t is cool between me and him knowing damn well that he wasn’t there and never made a freaking effort. now that he has my number and can call me he doesn’t……the calls are few and far in between. i just want to ((screams)). sh-t i don’t know what i want to do but if i ever meat him in person there will be some consequences. thats for damn sure.

    13) i believe BET has pretty much died out ever since they were bought by viacom. shoot i mis that show Cita’s Word and the old Rap City. and what the heck happened to BET News? what? Nigg-s don’t like the news….we’re too stupid to understand the news, we don’t care about our surroundings or something? I miss tavis smiley and ed gordon and jackie. also what happened to black sitcoms. there are not funny and kind or wack to me. Girlfriends hasn’t been the same since Tony Childs’ character was taken off.

    do i seem like i complain a lot. i hope not. and to those women on here who have been sexually abused and have had abortions, don’t feel bad about yourself. it’s not your fault that you were abused. you have to realize that before you can move on. and not all men will hurt you. and if times are too challenging to bring a child into this world, you are not an evil person. you had your reasons and yes the thought will always be with you but you are not a bad person. life will go and and be better you guys. i’ve had a people i know in those situation and therefore understand your emotions and negative feelings.

    peace out yo.
    1

  174. Did someone ask about getting a gravatar? It is simple. Follow the link below and register. The e-mail address you register with you must use on this blog and all blogs in order for your gravatar to show up because they are linked to each other. Once registered your new gravatar should start showing up immediately once you post on a blog.

    http://site.gravatar.com/

  175. Okay guys. This is a big confession and the FIRST time I have ever, ever talked to anyone about this. I don’t know if detail is important, but first I feel the need to explain how this happened.

    I had a physical fight with a friend in 2006 when my cousin came to live with me. The reason for the fight, no one knows about. Let me point out that I am not some “ghetto” chick, but a very professional woman both visually and mannerisms.I am attractive, and work for a global corporation.

    It all started in 2005 between me and a close friend.

    First let me say, when I’m in a good mood I can get a little flirtacious… and I flirt with anyone – male or female. Yes, female even though I am NOT a lesbian. When I am flirting with a male I am very subtle. If I am flirtacious with someone who is female, it is usually in a more playful manner. Not in an ‘I want to get with you’ type of thing. Basically, teasing the friend about something funny or about the way she looks, or something funny that has happened to her, or just being smarter than her, nothing mean or nasty, just teasing. I guess that’s what I define as flirting – being attentive.

    Anyway, following my lead, the friend and I started teasing each other all the time. Sometimes when she is at my place and I have guests, she’ll joke around, for example, like trying to jump on my computer before me. Once she jumped on my lap and sat there as I was navigating my mouse. This turned into her sitting on my lap all the time. I found it frustrating at first, then endearing – that my friend was comfortable with me. She used to spend the night on weekend sometimes if I rented a really good movie. I LOVE movies – indie, action, whatever and so does she. Anyway, one night we’re having our “sleep over” watching movies. No one is there but me and her when all of a sudden, she sat on my lap. I was kind of taken aback because our “performance” was really a teasing thing we did when other people were around.

    She had been drinking — ALOT, and I had been drinking but only a little since I don’t like alcohol THAT much. Anyway, so she sat on my lap with the dvd remote in her hand flipping through the channels. And I’m kind of in a daze like wtf is going on here? So I tried to push her off, but instead of moving, she took my hands and led them to her breasts. I guess with a little wine in the both of us, in our cute PJs, perfumed, food on the table, and goodies, it wasn’t hard to mistake the mood for something else. Next thing you know, I’m allowing her to do this to me. Mind you, she has not had a boyfriend in years and I have not had a man or sex since 1998! (I’m picky, I want a good man). So the touches became very sensual and very intimate. Nothing happened that night, nothing like lesbian (oral) sex or anything like that, Just taking comfort in each other’s company and kind of caressing each other sensually (this is embarrassing because this is starting to sound like an excerpt from playboy!) anyway, it was just so fucking nice to be touched after years of being so chronically UNTOUCHED.It felt so good, and so warm and so, I did what she wanted and pretended I was only doing her a favor because SHE was so lonely.

    The problem with this, is that I am very supportive as a friend. I am the friend other friends borrow from. I am the friend that other friends count on. And because of this, on top of being lonely, I feel that my friend began to develop other feelings. I did what I did because I was led and it felt good. But, she did what she did because it is what she wanted and had probably felt for a long time. .

    Soon she was coming over all the time, whenever I had no one at home with me. Watching movies, sleeping in my bed, using my pc. I would “help” her with intimacy issues and she became more and more attached.

    I do not consider myself a lesbian. I am not a “bull-dike”, I am as feminine as one can imagine and if you looked at me, you would think I don’t even do the number 2. I keep myself together. Anyway, I started keeping my other friends and my family on a leash. I stopped returning calls, stopped accepting unaccounced visitors. If this girl was over, I didn’t need unexpected visitors popping by and picking up any “vibes” between us. And my friend, to be honest liked to play “wifey” games.

    Which was okay for a while, until my cousin from another state came to live with me. She’s from the south and would think the situation between me and my friend is weird, demonic, or perverted. So when my cousin moved in, I stopped my “friend” from coming over. She became very upset and very hurt, and one night showed up and started throwing stuff at my door asking for things she had left at my house. I came out, because it became very clear that this was more than a friend upset about leaving something at another friend’s house — but was more like a lover’s quarrel. I was worried my cousin would pick up on those “vibes”, so I hauled off and smacked the dogshit out of my friend. Then I beat her up. I beat her up bad and kicked her off of my property.

    My cousin thought we fighting about some stuff left at my house that belonged to my friend, and that I attacked her because she was disrespecting my house. But the truth is, I was protecting a secret.

    My friend did eventually call after a few days – I did not contact her. But I did take the time to explain that she put me on the defense and that my personal business was about to come out in the open and I had to protect that. I CHERISH my privacy, and if I had to pop some 1carats out of my ears and beat somebody down to protect my privacy, I was going to do that.

    Everybody I know, knows about the fight. But no one knows WHY we were fighting. Not the real reason.

    My friend still comes by from time to time IF (and only IF), I am in the mood to have company, which isn’t often.

    I should say that I am not “gay” and I am not a “Lesbian”. I believe people can be attracted to each other spiritually and mentally. And if that connection exists between two people who happen to be the same gender, then I am not going to exclude that person as a potential mate. What I am not prepared for, is the backlash. My preference is male. I have made it clear to my friend that I am not the person for her, but I am here if she wants someone to cuddle with from time to time. I hope I am not a terrible person for my emotional unavailability. But it is what it is.

  176. [quote comment=”20814″]1. Hi well as you know i’m Amber,…well actuclly my real name is pronounce “Amberia” but they just call me Amber.

    2. l’m 16 years old and i have a learing disability so spelling is the most problem i have at some time
    and on my educational side on school work it’s is hard for me to understand it! to do it..

    3.i’m not really into geting any realationship with boys or haveing boyfriends anything like that

    4. i’m afraid of peolpe and i’m afraid of being around alot of peolpe two it’s irritates the hell of me..lol

    5. sometimes like i’ll live in a Imaginary world

    6.I have got sent to the crazy house before i call it a crazy house don’t know why?..but i was 14 yr. at the time and my older brother was picking on me so bad and i went off! on him and i try to kill him and i cut him real bad and i end up cuting myself pretty bad two. I stop fighting him and he call the police and they came over and my mother wasn’t there at the time so they didn’t know who two believe in they thought i was trying to kill myself for some reason? or they thought my brother try to kill me and my brother he was bleeding bad so they rush us to the hospital….after we came out hours leter the police they was still there outside no big deal they probably gonna take us home…lol boy I was WRONG the police arrest my brother and me …they took my brother to jail and me to some mental clinic??? to wait on a court date…lol

    7.I love two read my books that’s only thing i’m good at is reading…i gotta have my
    Zanze book’s, sex chronicles 2 gettin buck wild,
    my Noire book’s candy licker, g-spot,

    Now i can’t believe i told ya’ll my personal secrets..lol

    Oh-yea Stephanie do you get frustrated when you don’t get that perfect line right?
    cuz my mama do..she does the same thang two[/quote]

    Ok! I must come clean about number 6,

    Number 6, is a false statment to cover up the real truth about me being in a mental health clinic, that situation i said that happen to me and my brother is FALSE..never happen.

    I suffer from Clinical Depression since i was 14 yr, i to used to self-injury myself to make the emotional pain go away to feel releved. I was always crying alot i didn’t know why? i was emotionally, i felt worthless,i felt lonely,i had suicidal thoughts…but i counldn’t see myself killing myself so i self-harm alot…so my counselor at the time who i stated seeing advice me enter a health clinic i didn’t think it was big deal or would be hard to go..so i said ‘yes’ to her’ so on that very same day she advice me to enter was the first day i was going…she and my mama came along to take me to the clinic for help. When we got there i stared haven douts about me saying there i please my mama to not let me stay here but it was nothing that she can do…so i had to stay there..(crying)..I felt so sick to my stomach
    i cired for 3 days non-stop at that place. I had missed my mama so much i wanted to be at home with my her so bad…on the 6th or 7th day i had got used to it i felt alittle better my tears had stop’ i had the help that i needed i spent almost 2 weeks in that place but i made it out ok.

    As for now i’m taking Antidepressant for my Depression. After i left that place back in spring of 2005 i kinda have struggle with self-injury myself..but as for now i haven did that since fall of 2005..i’m doing ok right now i have my days still but not like it was before..lol

    I really didn’t want two get two personal on here..but after reading peolpe comments about there sturggle in life…i just said WHAT THE HELL! let me tell my sturggle then and the truth

  177. @ Georgie. WOW. I was just going to post my confessions, my first post anyblog ever and refreshed the page–And now have nothing to confess.

    Damn, write a script! “Episode 1: The Brown Sista Chronicles.” I’m sorry, I’m not trying to make fun but, shucks, you described your emotional conflict so clearly.

    I wish we could be so honest as you were in that last paragraph. You’re right, dammit, spiritual love and that comforting intimacy you describe should know no gender. When it’s illustrated like that it just makes sense. (And I am a straight guy saying this.)

    Potential backlash is a problem but more importantly, it seems that you’re not as interested in your friend as she is in you. And that you don’t emotionally depend / share with her as she does with you. And if someone else (say, a man) came along, you’d ditch her to attempt to establish an emotional bond with him. And you would hurt and lose a friend. I mean, if you were as fond of her as she is of you, I’d say go for it. And if it lasts, it’s love. If it doesn’t people will forget (it’s becoming more acceptable to have a lesbian tryst, no?) But that’s not the case.

    And why be so picky? Why have you been not even touched since 1998?!? And then you beat up a friend instead of heading off the problem? If all your friends depend on you, maybe it’s because you’re afraid to depend on someone else? Even a friend to keep your mutual secret?

    I’m not a woman, so I can’t tell you not to be afraid. But think about. Maybe try to let someone into your life, slowly. Don’t worry about them breaking–not being able to support you. Maybe they can’t support all of you in the beginning of the relationship but give them time and let them build up their strength. Don’t hide yourself away from love.

  178. I made my avatar! That’s me. the link worked great.

  179. 😐 🙁 :thumbsdown: ok…it was there when i was typing but didnt show up on here. weird. Anyway, my husband was on the radio tonight promoting his book. I am so proud of him. He is quiet and I thought he would be too nervous, but he talked a LOT. :banana: :banana: :banana:

  180. @Amber, I send you positive energy. Depression is an illness that black women suffer from at high levels–but we never seem to talk about it.

  181. Hey ILBW,

    Thanks for the insight. But I should point out that I am fond of my friend, I have always thought her pretty, but unfortunately she is not my equal emotionally (notice, I didn’t say intellectually). I can compartmentalize my feelings. I know the appropriate time to do or say things and she does not. Because she is not able to control her feelings I simply can’t abide her. Now I should also point out that, I would never intentionally hurt a friend. The reason the fight became physical is because she’s better at arguing than I am and she was in a position to overtalk me. I was aware that she had no problem with our arrangement, but I DO have a problem with putting our friendship – as it was – out there because they think its demonic, perverted, or would ostracize me behind my back.

    I should say, I would not drop her at the drop of a hat for some random man. I’ve had ten years of turning them down. But I also respect her enough not to lead her on when she might actually be a placemat until I find the right guy. So I have made it clear, that I adore her as a friend, I don’t mind that we are a comfort to each other emotionally and physically, but that I don’t accept anything more. What if a man came along and I fell for him? It’s only fair that I am upfront.

    I fully expect her to find someone too, and I tell her all the time (pillow talk, you know how that is). And I would not have a problem with that because I know something she doesn’t know. Which is the fact that I AM A PLACEMAT until she finds the man she is looking for in her life. She values the relationship as it is because she doesn’t have anyone else right now.
    I don’t want her to feel like she is “cheating” on me, I don’ twant her to feel like she is in a relationship. I want her to do whatever she wants. And yes, you can say I am the “alpha” in our friendship because I am more practical when it comes to relationships.

    I have not found a man because I need to be safe. AIDS is prevalent in the black community, especially with a lot of men who have prison backgrounds — it’s easy for stuff to get around. For example, a dude out of prison having gay sex might have sex with his girlfriend, goes back to jail, she has sex with someone while he is away, without knowing that her prison boyfriend has given her AIDS. I keep hearing abou tthis stuff and it scares me. And with men, I’m sorry but sex is important. I prefer artist types (musically, painting, comic books, whatever, I like a man who is passionate about something. I meet them but sometimes they are not available).

    Plus I value my body. I need to have an intense emotional connection that trascends what otherwise would feel dirty to me – just “sex”. I haven’t found that intense connection with a man so far. Only drama and emotions I confused with love when I was too young to know what love was. He needs to be my emotional equal. We need to be on the same level, passionately.

    When I I am with my friend we do not have “sex” and I would never label it as such as it would devalue our intimacy and our connection with each other.

    “Damn, write a script! “Episode 1: The Brown Sista Chronicles.” I’m sorry, I’m not trying to make fun but, shucks, you described your emotional conflict so clearly.”

    Sorry if I sound writerly. I’m a published author.

  182. [quote comment=”20981″]@Amber, I send you positive energy. Depression is an illness that black women suffer from at high levels–but we never seem to talk about it.[/quote]

    the I would rather be strong than weak syndrome. :bowdown:

  183. @Georgie,

    I read your post three times, and it was extremely complex and honest and I respect that you shared it. I think you feel guilty about not being what she wants you to be–but you are being fair to her by not leading her on.

  184. Nefertari ChocolatePeach, did you register using the same email address you are using to post here? If so just wait a bit and it will show up. I just updated mine about a hour ago and now it is just now showing up. 🙂

  185. @LaDomina,

    I don’t know what kind of music you listen to, but Lyfe Jennings has a song on his first album entitled “Cry”….
    Please listen to it. Crying is an emotional release that we NEED…or we will snap. It is probably also why you feel so much rage–its all emotion. Its all OK. But you have to let yourself have permission to feel it.

    Trust me when I tell you that the women I met when I was a public defender were heartbreaking. Most of them are in prison because they were angry and hurt and didnt have an outlet so they snapped. You are too valuable for that.

    You need to cry like you need to breathe.

  186. @ georgie-Wow that mustve been alot to hold in I hope that helped you
    I feel like im in a catholic confessional
    and after reading everyone I had to jump in , I didnt know what to write first
    1# I enjoy pulling a “risky business” and love to sing and dance wearing nothing but a shirt,panties, and heels!
    2# Since I was abused as a child by other children I often imagine that someone else is gonna do it to my son and am always on the verge of a meltdown when hes around “strange children”
    3# I dont trust my own mother
    4# I often assume that I am smarter than everyone I meet (soo wrong I know)
    5# I used to runaway from home while I was a teenager,and have sex with much older men to convince myself I liked it, so I could command my sexuality and feel like I was in control, and was capable of feeling something, only to find myself void of any emotion afterwards and didnt even really enjoy it
    #6 If it wasnt for having my son I wouldve never been able to experience true love, or be the woman I am today
    #7 Being married is harder then I ever imagined even though I never had any desire to get married
    #8 often have dreams of losing my husband or son and cry for hours
    #9 finally developed a butt and breast at 21..unfortunately theryre not all what theyre cracked up to be!
    thats not even the half of it but damn i feeeel goood!

  187. @Liyah

    Look who’s Talking! :brownsista: U are too!

  188. “missixty–Wow that mustve been alot to hold in I hope that helped you
    I feel like im in a catholic confessional”

    not really. it’s good to release — out there in the void where it will be forever lost to the ethers of cyberspace, forgotten and discarded with gigabytes of bandwidth forevermore! I’m alright with that, no worries I’m good at keeping secrets so yes, a good release but no confession. Confessions are for sinners and I haven’t sinned. :hifive:

    Now, why why why do you not trust your own mom? 🙁 :noway:

  189. @missixty – NICELY SUMMED! (see below), now that’s deep. Deep because it’s real talk.

    “5# I used to runaway from home while I was a teenager,and have sex with much older men to convince myself I liked it, so I could command my sexuality and feel like I was in control, and was capable of feeling something, only to find myself void of any emotion afterwards and didnt even really enjoy it”

  190. A lot of women here like Lesbian porn or looking @ or touching women…but no one is a Lesbian? What does that mean…you’re like an inactive lesbian? How do you separate the two? I’m not pointing the finger so please don’t chew me up its just an honest inquiry :confused:

  191. [quote comment=”20985″]@Georgie,

    I read your post three times, and it was extremely complex and honest and I respect that you shared it. I think you feel guilty about not being what she wants you to be–but you are being fair to her by not leading her on.[/quote]

    Not what she wants me to be? You mean that, I am not what she wants, because I am not a “man”. Interesting. I don’t feel guilty about it, but I know that’s what she wants [a man]. And right now she is only settling for what she can get. So you can say that’s why I keep her at a distance, though I never really thought about it.

  192. [quote comment=”20994″]A lot of women here like Lesbian porn or looking @ or touching women…but no one is a Lesbian? What does that mean…you’re like an inactive lesbian? How do you separate the two? I’m not pointing the finger so please don’t chew me up its just an honest inquiry :confused:[/quote]

    I think a lesbian is someone who has an attraction to women, specifically. There’s an entire lifestyle attached to being a lesbian too that some people (myself included) are not familar with or understand.

    I don’t believe I am a lesbian because, I don’t choose mates based on gender whereas a lesbian seeks a very specific gender, which is Female the same way a heterosexual seeks the opposite gender. A bi-sexual is just someone who wants to experiment sexually and wants stimulation, and might be a freak (sexual freak). I don’t give off “gay” vibes, and girls need not close their legs around me or cover up boobs, I have no interest in them.

    I would consider myself sexually ambiguous meaning I have no sexuality and don’t seek any type of mate, but more of who I would have a specific connection with. I don’t talk to people and think abou twhether they are male or female no more than I think consciously about a person being a different race.

    The body is just a shell, I try to look through the shell and look at the person.

    Maybe that explains where I’M coming from. i can’t speak for anyone else.

  193. i love wearing my husband’s underwear. his boxer briefs are so comfortable and I feel bad for stretching them out.

  194. 1. I like old school music better then music out today give me 60s 70s jams

    2.Kanyade i know something about you..you be on YBF, i recognize you name and pic…lol

    3. i talks in my sleeps sometimes..well one word will come out..lol

    4. i keep a word list and dictionary by my side to help me out with my spelling when i’m writeing a comment

  195. @Liyah,

    I was hinting around that with my post yesterday…I think that there are a lot more women who are “bisexual” than there are women who want to admit it. Even though those women never act on it–I do think that being sexually attracted to women means that you are bi-sexual but choosing not to engage in the physical act of it. I had no idea so many women watched lesbian porn…I thought I was just odd.

    I would like to know why it is so common. I’m a nerd–I analyze everything.

  196. Hi Nne, thanks for the adoration :banana: I would encourage you to take that leap and start the business venture you have in mind. Don’t allow fear to hold you hostage, you’ll regret it in the long run. There will always be that burning question “What If”……

    Depending on the business, you can start off small, like in your home, online or enlist your friends, neighbors and family members as “test” clients.

    I tell you, I like this post a whole lot better than the celebrity posts :dance: :dance:

  197. Ya’ll are so cool.

    I wanna share but have nothing really juicy. Here goes:

    1. I was captivated by Georgie’s confession. The sex, secrecy and violence made it a compelling story.

    2. I can’t believe I’m 38, well educated and have been a single parent for over 10 years! What am I being punished for?!

  198. @Georgie! Got it! :thumbsup: Ten years though… sigh,… Don’t you miss just falling asleep in someone’s arms?

    BrownSista: I came for the galleries and stayed for the therapy. :bowdown: These are my confessions:

    1.) I have never dated a Black woman. I’m serious. (I am a Black man.) And I think Black woman are beautiful. I mean trying-to-stay-awake-in-bed when-you-GOTTA-sleep just-to-think-some-more-of-that CHICKA-WOW-WOW you-saw-in-the-bookstore. Black woman are so fine–I know it’s not right to stereotype–you guys are the finest! I mean walking, talking… but for one thing: you don’t smile hardly at all!! And I am a smile fetishist! (Jill Scott’s smile, sigh… Angela Bassett’s!!, Oluchi’s, Jennifer Hudson’s, Kelly Rowland’s…) Imma get one of those little dogs, dammit and just walk around. That should get y’all smiling. You should be able to rent one of those little dogs…

    1a.) I’m not going to lie. If I hear a cellphone ring in public, I look around and see if it’s a sista’s. I love Black woman’s voices and I sometimes fantasize they are calling me. :bag:

    2.) I like lesbian porn too. And not because it’s my fantasy but because the woman kiss softly and caress each other. Half the fun is fooling around. (& to La Domina: straight men are not wired to watch gay porn.)

    3.) I will save this page to my hard drive. I wish I had some Black women friends and when I re-read it I can feel like I do. (Don’t laugh. :bag: )

    4.) I actually went to the craft store and bought a t-shirt and enough alphabet sheets to spell “I LOVE BLACK WOMEN” but I am too shy to make (or wear) it. And I think it might make me look desperate.

  199. You know, a lot of the experiences expressed on here (lesbian relationships, women loving women, sexual abuse and molestation, domestic violence, black women cheating with another black woman’s man, etc, etc) reminds me of Sister Souljah’s autobiography “No Disrespect”

    It’s one of my favorite books :banana: I read it such a long time ago, so excuse me if I get a few of the details wrong 🙁 There is a chapter (or few) about her openly dating/sharing another Black Woman’s man. I think the guy was engaged and had children by this other black woman but Souljah didn’t care. In her mind, she justified this affair by believing that there was a shortage of Black men or good Black men and because of this, sistas must be open to sharing the Black men they have with other Black women – and not doing so would mean that you were selfish because monogomy is not natural or humanly possible :confused: something like that :confused: This was all before she decided to settle down and get married, of course :hmph: anyway, pick up the book if you get a chance, it’s an interesting read.

    I wear a waist chain and I play with the charm when I’m on the phone 😆 and don’t you dare tell anybody :lol2:

  200. How old are you ILBW?? Why haven’t you ever dated a black woman?
    Wow I love this post!!! I’m a virgin too!!! I’m 23 and from Louisiana.
    I haven’t had a boyfriend since my senior year in high school and I graduated from college last May!
    I like porn..in fact, just watched some a few minutes ago!
    I love giving concerts and dancing around in my room too!!!
    Death scares me and I worry about waaay too much!
    I afraid of being in a tornado although I’ve experienced hurricanes(at least you have a warning)
    I have a brother that I usually don’t tell people about!!
    I still get nervous in front of boys
    I hate my calf muscles
    Wish I could be myself more
    I sometimes feel invisible
    I’m always in la la land
    I fear to write anymore because I think people will know who I am 😆

  201. 1. I lost my virginity at 18 years old to a friend at the time, and til this day my ex-boyfriend thinks he took my v-card (because I told him he did), even though I had lost it months prior. We are no longer together, but if he knew this, he would have a royal fit. We still argue eventhough we’ve been broken up for years, but a small part of me still likes the attention I get from him. I don’t think I ever really loved him.

    2. I love my current boyfriend to death. We’ve known each other for nearly 3 years and have been together for a year and change, and I honestly think I would die for him. If he asked me tomorrow to marry him I would. His family loves me and I don’t see myself without him. The love is that deep, and I know he feels the same way.

    3. I seceretly long for a baby. While other 21 year old girls are probably thinking about their future weddings, I’m thinking about the baby I’ll have one day. I love looking at baby stuff and reading pregnancy/baby/mom-specific blogs. I would love to bless myself and my man with a child right now but we’re still young and have so much living to do before we take on such a responsibility. I just want to love and be loved unconditionally. I can wait, though ; ) I still have so much life to live.

    4. I love receiving oral sex more than P in V. It’s the only way I can really climax. If I could only have one, it would be the head.

    5. I love the idea of being with a woman intimately (particularly one who looks like me because I’m fine…maybe I’m just in love with myself? LOL), even though I don’t think I will ever go there.

    6. I don’t have nearly as much money saved in the bank as my parents think I do. They think I’m just really cheap when it comes to spending, but really I don’t have much to spend. When I started college my mom set me up with a little bit over $2000 in savings, but over the years I have gradually depleted those funds. To pay for school, emergency expenses, and impulse shopping–that more than anything. This is my year to revitalize my savings account, so I don’t ever have this bothersome problem to worry about anymore.

    7. I would like to trade in some of my friends for new ones, because the ones I have are too needy. I don’t really need friends to live my life, so I hate when the ones I have feel that they need to be in constant contact with me or have me in their presence always. I don’t need anyone at all really.

    8. I’m not very fond of white people. I deal with them daily because I work with them, but if I had a choice I wouldn’t. I just don’t trust them.

    9. I think that Black men are the most beautiful beings on this planet. That’s not really a secret, though = D

    10. When I’m sitting/standing next to a really cute guy on the subway, I change the song on my ipod to something more interesting, just in case he strikes up a conversation by asking what I’m listening to. I can’t tell him I’m jamming to The Pussycat Dolls!!! I’ll change it to Talib Kweli, Biggie, or Lupe Fiasco or someone equally fantastic. These are artists I listen to regularly, but if just so happen to be listening to something that’s kind of corny, I change it…

  202. Nefertari ChocolatePeach said,

    @LaDomina,

    I don’t know what kind of music you listen to, but Lyfe Jennings has a song on his first album entitled “Cry”….
    Please listen to it. Crying is an emotional release that we NEED…or we will snap. It is probably also why you feel so much rage–its all emotion. Its all OK. But you have to let yourself have permission to feel it.

    Trust me when I tell you that the women I met when I was a public defender were heartbreaking. Most of them are in prison because they were angry and hurt and didnt have an outlet so they snapped. You are too valuable for that.

    You need to cry like you need to breathe.

    @ Nefertari ChocolatePeach
    i know that song by lyfe jennings. i love it. i listen to rnb soul, funk and hip hop among other things. i also like stick up kid by lyfe jennings but that is not the point. i get what you are saying but for some reason i can’t bring myself to cry. kinda takes me back to the death of my grandmother. i loved her dearly. i can say now that i really didn’t know how much she meant to me until after she died and that’s the honest truth. but she was my only best friend. i helped her out more than anybody in the house. she depended on me back when i was depending on others….a 2-3 year old in pampers going buck wild haha. just kidding. but seriously when she became very sick i always helped her…even when i didn’t really want to but i did. she had multiple strokes and couldn’t speak clearly after a while but for some reason i’d be the only one who could understand her and would be a translator. i did all that i could for her. would make tea and dinner for her even thought i wasn’t supposed to touch the stove. everything. but when she died it was like “are you freakin’ kidding me!?”. and the wild thing about it is, is that my name was the last thing she said. i thnk she said “where’s tori? ask tori if she could make me some tea?” and she said some other things about me and later on died the same day. i wonder if she’s the reason why i love tea. hmm….or maybe it’s a jamaican thing lol. anyway, i remember the funeral. i was the only one who knew what mama- my grandma wanted to wear when she died. she told be previously to her becoming sick. i went to the funeral irritated. i didn’t want to go. it was a mix of me feeling like i don’t want to see all these people cry over her. yeah i know they had more time with her than i did but i felt like i did the most for her. like “ya’ll weren’t really here for mama and now ya’ll gon show up to the funeral crying and sh-t!” with an exception of a few people. also i didn’t know how to act. i’d never been to a funeral before so i was holding back laughter the whole time. maybe i am hella weird but i wanted to laugh so bad. when the service was over and it was time to bury her everybody was crying rain seriously. so in an effort to blend in with everybody else and just because everyone else was i cried for a second and wiped my face and moved on…….maybe i’m strange for that but i didn’t really want to cry. i just did because it seemed like the right thing to do. after they buried my grandmother it was like i was done with her. i don’t like visiting her grave at all and become very pissed when my mother and aunt drag me there…notice i said drag, shows you how much i want to be there. i feel like mama’s gone. i can’t change that. visiting her grave won’t bring her back so why go? everytime something happens in the house i.e. lights go off, things fall, things break my aunt and mommee think it’s mama trying to contact them. i just think maybe the light bulbs are old and sh-t breaks and falls all the time. now that she’s gone for some reason have a lot of dreams about her. she’ll talk to me or do stuff around me…i don’t know if the dreams are cryptic or mean something but i remember them. i wish she was still here but i think she’d be 86-87 y.o. by now. i guess it was her time to go. i wouldn’t want to see her suffer being so sick and having diabetes…dialysis is a bi-ch and drains her so badly, so i’m kinda glad she’s gone. she can finally relax you know.

    well that’s about then end of this story. anybody wann comment back……talk to a chick. everyone else is getting mad comments son! lol. i’m such a brooklynite. peace out ya’ll. 1

  203. @ ILBW

    :lol2: dude i think you should make the darn shirt. heck i’ll make one myself but instead of i love black women i’ll say i love black men (i am a female). haha. and then you should post a picture of you wearing it in a mall or church or something. that would be non stop comedy for me. dude it’s not ahrd to meet a black woman. are you intimidated by them for some reason? if you like black women so much why haven’t you dated one? little dogs won’t get my attention….but hot pants will! lololol! haha. i am messing with you but answer my questions.

    @ ILBW….
    i know straight men aren’t wired to watch gay porn that’s why i asked if it’s strange for a female to watch gay male porn. if anyone knows the answer to this let me know. most of you guys are older than me so i’m waitng for an educated answer.

    @ Everybody on here….
    WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH YA’LL WATCHING LESBIAN PORN? LOL

  204. Ok, here goes…
    1. I love Sean Connery. I have been in love with since I was a child watching James Bond movies with my dad. He could still get it to this day. Toupee and all!
    2. While I love everything about a black man, I confess to being curious about women. I wouldn’t mind an encounter with or without my man.
    3. I have Sickle Cell Anemia. MY doctor has perscribed very strong pain medicenes to me to take everyday. I’m starting to feel like I’m addicted to them even though I’m dealing with pain everyday.
    4.Although I act annoyed, I secretly love it when people come up to me trying to figure out if my hair is real. (It is. Brown sistas can grow hair too.)I am not crazy about people touching it though.
    5.I worry my carefree attitude is hurting my relationships with men. I cant just say whatever to everything. I have to pursue a stronger relationship sometimes.
    Much love to my tall sistas! I’m 5″9 with a serious shoe fetish! 😀

  205. Wow and the saga continues,,
    @Georgie -I’m sorry if I you thought I meant that what you did was sinful , I was just refering to all the confessions alot of us were letting go of , and about my Mom now thats a whole other novel in itself lets just say that unfortunately I had come to the realization that my Mom was human afterall, that she was just as capable of being as manipulative as anyone else I encoountered in my life and as Ive gotten older her deeds have gotten more hurtful , by the time I was 19 we had develpoed a very unhealthy co-dependent/parasitic relationship she wanted to stifle my growth so that I wouldnt leave her and constantly sited me past indiscretions as a teenager for making her act the way she acts towards me, but I finally realized that the damage has already been done to her way before I came into existance, and I could no longer be held accountable for that ,of course I still love her but some people you have to love from afar for my own wellbeing and sanity

  206. Lesbian porrn has more cuddling, and lots of foreplay and more senusous. It has lots of stroking, rubbing and kissing and that is what excites women…therefore women would be excited by the intimacy displayed and NOT TO THE WOMEN itself. This is the same reason women like erotic literature (very descriptive) and men like playboy (visual and right to the point).

    Lots of straight women also watch male on male porn for the reasons I stated above. Porn geared for men is all about women down on their knees, giving oral sex then getting pounded in lots of postitions. This appeals to men and not women.

    So please do not associate female/female porn to lesbianism or bisexuality. That is not the case it is a matter of the scientific triggers for women. If more male/female porn including the high level of intimacy and foreplay and less “pounding”…women would watch much more of it!

    I want to encourage everyone to commit to be loving and kind to themselves. Regardless of their past situations.
    @ anyone who has had an abortion (s) please seek an outlet to grieve for yourself and your babies
    @anyone who has been the victim of abuse (mental, physical, or sexual) please seek counseling
    @anyone who feels sad, depressed and just worried about coping please seek counseling

    Don’t give up on creating exactly the life you want and the life you deserve to have! All it takes is the courage to fight for yourself!

  207. this is awesome and I want to confess some of the things that shame me

    I cheated on every boyfriend I had except 1
    I once was pregnant and didn’t know which guy I was involved with, was the father..had an abotion at 4 mnths HORRIBLE I also have had more than one abortion.
    I had sex with a married man and then called his wife and told her about it
    I became obsessed with above married man and thought about having his baby(snapped out of it quick when he cheated on me w/my co worker, KARMA)
    I have a friend that I think may be addicted to sleeping pills and I don’t know how to confront her on it
    I stole money one time out of my boyfriends night stand
    I have seen a ghost/ghostly event
    ….Despite all that I know God still loves me :banana:

  208. [quote comment=”21033″]this is awesome and I want to confess some of the things that shame me

    I cheated on every boyfriend I had except 1
    I once was pregnant and didn’t know which guy I was involved with, was the father..had an abotion at 4 mnths HORRIBLE I also have had more than one abortion.
    I had sex with a married man and then called his wife and told her about it
    I became obsessed with above married man and thought about having his baby(snapped out of it quick when he cheated on me w/my co worker, KARMA)
    I have a friend that I think may be addicted to sleeping pills and I don’t know how to confront her on it
    I stole money one time out of my boyfriends night stand
    I have seen a ghost/ghostly event
    ….Despite all that I know God still loves me :banana:[/quote]
    Yes he does and we do too. 🙂

  209. 1. I use to masturbate in public places.
    2. I’m a virgin
    3. I watched a homeless man masturbate
    4. Damn, I’m a freak

  210. It’s my turn!!!

    Since turning 40, a little freak has emerged! I have desires to learn to pole dance, be a dominatrix, masturbate, and watch porn…

    I admit, I have been sexually repressed u until now, and now, I feel like there are so many ways to express sensuality – especially with myself, since I don’t have a boyfriend.

    I also admit that I want to be a mother and wife, but feel like time is running out….and this scares me and and depresses me at the same time….

    I’m obsessive about certain things and try to relax because I’m so uptight

    I’m a nerd, and proud of it!

  211. I must admit…

    -Enjoy watching pornography alone

    -I’ve had protected sex once

    -the first time I masterbated I was 10

    -thought about cheating on my husband

    -I can be a b#tch

    -I dont support Hannah Montanna

    -I am a little racist

    -hoping for a Michael Jackson comeback

  212. 1. Nikki is not my real name
    2. I HATE Beyonce Knowles and everything she represents
    3. I want to get my boobs done
    4. I’ve never cheated on an exam
    5. I was happy when my mom and step-dad divorced
    6. I once stripped to pay my tuition

  213. i like this confessions thing. its cool.

    7. I worry that my long-term boyfriend and I will not last
    8. I am getting tired of him not having a degree when I am working on my Ph.D.

  214. nikki what happened with your man?
    “I HATE Beyonce Knowles and everything she represents” no i actually hate what she represent not her
    blacksista:
    i dont support hannah montwhatever neither and i am a lil racist too

  215. I’m bored. I guess I’ll do this. Let me scratch the surface just a little bit, because I feel like confessing.

    Let’s see…

    1) I’ve had dreams of the same man. In one we’re married, and he kills himself on our honeymoon. In another, we have a baby, and he drowns it in front of me in a fountain and buries it in a garden. In the last, we’re on the beach happy. I don’t know what they mean.

    2) I’ was once a “cutter” so to speak. While I do still get heavily depressed and suicidal at times, I no longer do myself bodily harm.

    3) I want to get married one day, but I don’t think I’d be able to stay married to the same person for a long time.

    4) I have had rape fantasies, but I don’t want that to happen to me in my actual life. I think it’s more about it being rough than it being forced. I don’t think it’s unhealthy to think about such things.

    5) I was addicted to Phentermine when I was in High School. My mom would give me a few but I would take a few more (to take later) when she wasn’t at home. I secretly want to start taking them again because they completely kill my appetite.

    6) I’m jealous of my friends in college, and I sometimes think they feel like they’re better than me. I feel left behind and stupid. I really, really want to be in school. I’m trying to save enough to go this year and not be in debt until I die. I did decent in HS yet I can’t afford college, and that angers me.

    7) My family’s intolerance of other races,religions, and sexual orientations embarrass me and upset me. I don’t want them to meet anyone I like that doesn’t fit into their standards.

    8) I am not religious due to the fact that I feel God hates me and is content with watching the world and it’s people suffer.

    9) I am an insomniac. I can lay in bed for hours and not sleep. Sometimes I can’t remember whether I not laid in bed awake all night or if I fell asleep. I sometimes take sleeping pills to ensure that I go to sleep at night if I feel I’m behind on sleep.

    10) I don’t think I’ll live to be older than 40. I think I’ll have Breast Cancer at some point. If not that, then I believe my spouse will murder me. I don’t know why, that’s just what I’ve always thought.

    Done, I feel pretty darn good, Thank you for the Therapy. Cut me open and sew me up again.

  216. @La Domina:

    [quote comment=”21021″]dude i think you should make the darn shirt.[/quote]

    I made the darned shirt: http://album.leggere.fastmail.fm/

    If you want to make one I’ll tell you how I did it (Easy!) and what I used: leggere_AT_fastmail_DOT_fm

    [quote comment=”21021″]haha. and then you should post a picture of you wearing it in a mall or church or something. that would be non stop comedy for me. … little dogs won’t get my attention….but hot pants will! lololol! haha.[/quote]

    La Domina–I thought we were friends! You want me wearing hot pants to church!

    [quote comment=”21007″]How old are you ILBW?? Why haven’t you ever dated a black woman?[/quote]

    Early-thirties. … and just different interests and flirting styles, I guess.

  217. I am not religious due to the fact that I feel God hates me and is content with watching the world and it’s people suffer.

    Absolutely untrue… God gave a plan for us to follow, it is up to us to accept it or not. I’m not trying to beat you up at all, but I think sometimes people try God out like a fad diet and if things don’t change in a few days they give up. I hope you will be able to find a spiritual Jesus-believing figure (I hate the term “Religous b/c it just sounds so ruley) who help change your perception of God.

  218. @ ILBW-what are your interests? What are you waiting for? Go get ur black women already!!

  219. @ ILBW
    haha. i didn’t mean that you should wear hotpants to church. i was just saying hot pants will catch my attention more than a mini-dog. i was just playing anyway.

    i will check out that shirt thing in a minute. but as i said before you just gotta mingle in order to meet the people you want. black women are not that hard to approach….at least not all of them anyway!…..i mean shucks if you are a nice guy you’ll have even more luck meeting a woman. oh and if you go to church to meet women….if they are holding a singles night…..then you might find a nice lady dude.

    wishing you luck,
    la domina

  220. Hi ‘Stephanie’

    Here’s an issue I would like you to weigh in on. Hopefully you won’t find it boring. I know you read all your comments and value all your readers’ opinions. Some bloggers are trying to stir up hate over Rihanna’s grammy moment. They say she ran up on Jay Z hugging him, almost knocking Beyonce over and dragged him on stage while Solonge was giving her dirty looks and they have the video to prove it. What I saw was Rihanna reaching up to give Jay Z a high five and he reached out to give her a hug. She embraced him, then she held his hand and he thought about it for a split second before accompanying her on stage. There is no camera that was even close to Solange. They also say Jay Z was giving Rhi Rhi dirty looks and trying to hurry her speech along. It was such a great moment for them both as they both worked on the single together and it appears they both relished it. Was there an underlying theme? Some see that as a moment when the status quo was threatened. When Beyonce the juggernaut lost a Grammy to an upstart which was ironically orchestrated by her own man Jay Z. The Rihanna haters are venting again. What do you think?

  221. [quote comment=”20998″]1. I like old school music better then music out today give me 60s 70s jams

    2.Kanyade i know something about you..you be on YBF, i recognize you name and pic…lol

    3. i talks in my sleeps sometimes..well one word will come out..lol

    4. i keep a word list and dictionary by my side to help me out with my spelling when i’m writeing a comment[/quote]
    Yes!!!! 🙂 I also have another moniker. 🙂 I have to ‘log in’ to this site in order to use it; I don’t anymore. Too lazy. 😆

  222. [quote comment=”21168″]Hi ‘Stephanie’

    Here’s an issue I would like you to weigh in on. Hopefully you won’t find it boring. I know you read all your comments and value all your readers’ opinions. Some bloggers are trying to stir up hate over Rihanna’s grammy moment. They say she ran up on Jay Z hugging him, almost knocking Beyonce over and dragged him on stage while Solonge was giving her dirty looks and they have the video to prove it. What I saw was Rihanna reaching up to give Jay Z a high five and he reached out to give her a hug. She embraced him, then she held his hand and he thought about it for a split second before accompanying her on stage. There is no camera that was even close to Solange. They also say Jay Z was giving Rhi Rhi dirty looks and trying to hurry her speech along. It was such a great moment for them both as they both worked on the single together and it appears they both relished it. Was there an underlying theme? Some see that as a moment when the status quo was threatened. When Beyonce the juggernaut lost a Grammy to an upstart which was ironically orchestrated by her own man Jay Z. The Rihanna haters are venting again. What do you think?[/quote]
    Water under the bridge. I think the people wanting to stir things up are just messy folks looking for Negativity. I’d like to think that both Rihanna, JayZ and Beyonce associate with one another as adults. I’d like to think that they respect one another. If they do, why can’t the fans?

    I felt it was a genuine moment between mentor and protégé. JayZ is a funny dude, cocky as ever, but funny; I like how Rihanna shut him down (or tried to) as she accepted her award. It was cute.

    The ones looking to “see” something are the ones who either hate Beyonce, JayZ or Rihanna. It’s a waste of good energy to even ‘think about’ pulling something negative from the series of events. Congrats to Rihanna. JayZ is cocky, cute (when he smiles) and crazy, and Beyonce is as graceful as ever. They have love and respect for one another; why should others assume the worst?

  223. Yes mediatakeout is causing all type of hype over it. I watch the video she was happy and yes she was giving him a hi-five but he had his hand out to give her a hug more then he give his own girl. But she grab his hand he gracefully took it away. When u see them work off stage they both had there had around each other. The other site is dissing rihanni for that saying she should shook beyonce hand. Let this girl have her shine. Yes solange did give her a nasty look and beyonce with her fake ass smile. She work with this man and u got to remember that. But all serious aside im happy she won and im happy she doing her thang. Some people think beyonce is the only thang singing out here u have other wonderful talent sista out there but alway comparing them to her it not fair. GO RIHANNI IM HAPPY U DID WHAT U DID ON YOUR BIG WIN.

  224. WHAT! I come back from my little hiatus and missed over 200 posts?!? This topic has exploded lol!! 😆 I’m so glad to see that this has proven to be a therapeutic release for many of you. 🙂

    @ Lady: Girl I went to the Gap, and a place called The Buckle in the mall, and I seriously nearly cried when I tried on some jeans that actually fit me in the waist and in the length. My mom had to drag me from the dressing room, and my Mastercard is still hot from the shopping spree lol. 😆

    @ Liyah, I agree one of the cool things about being tall is that the height ‘thins’ the weight out lol.

    Just to add to my little list of ‘admit it’s:

    6. I don’t like bras; I take them off the second I get home.

    7. It has taken me well over a year just to gain 10 lbs. :bag:

    8. I can’t stand when random strangers ask me if my hair is real, then proceed to touch my ponytail like I’m cool with them inspecting my hair. Or when they try to determine my lineage and base that on the reason why my hair is down my back.

    9. My family calls me and my brother ‘Oreo’s’ because we don’t ‘act’ black. It annoyed me for awhile but now I don’t really care.

  225. @Sickofit yes girl i forgot about the gap. I have this capris from the gap that i bought like 4 years ago and still got them. They fit so nice and look good on me lol. How many pairs did u buy for your mastercard still being so hot lol. Did u check old navy.

  226. Hehe, I bought 12 pairs of jeans all together, like 5 from Gap and 7 from the Buckle. I went all out lmfao! Old Navy’s jeans were a little short, but they have the cutest t-shirts and shorts so I stocked up on those lol. You sound like me wearing stuff from 4 yrs ago 😆

  227. Yes girl i do not play that why i get stuff that alway in season. I do not like trend lol. I have my own style u know. What is buckle that first time hearing that store. What size shoe u wear girl i where a 12 lol so u know i have to keep my shoe game up. I just went to this site ashro.com they have some bad shoe and boots there. I just order a pair of leopard shoe they came the other day i fell in love lol.

  228. The buckle (buckle.com) is kinda like the Gap in terms of what fashions the carry. I classify it as a juniors store lol. They have jeans in crazy long sizes too, the longest inseam I was able to get from them in the store was 37in., which is like covering my toes! I lurve it! lol. I wear size 10-11 shoe and I usually order all my shoes online at endless.com, but I’m going to check out ashro.com because your shoes sounds fab, and yes we have to keep the shoe game fly lool. 😎

  229. I went to the endless.com site them shoe is hot to deaf. They do not have many selection for me but i see a couple in my size that would look good on my feet. Thank keep me posted about the web-site u go too. I love shoes, boots, lil jacket, accessories.

  230. [quote comment=”21155″]@ ILBW-what are your interests? What are you waiting for? Go get ur black women already!![/quote]

    @linp:

    Wom_e_n? I can get more than one? Just joking. If I go to a film showing or a concert or opera not many sistas (or bros). The only time I see sistas is when I travel–sistas love to travel!

    But honestly, when I hear stories (like on this board) it’s like sistas go through so much, that they’re wary when they meet someone new, I guess. I feel like I have to figure out a way to calm them when I meet them and say: “I’m not judging you. I want to be a friend. And you can make mistakes, we can make mistakes together. And I’m nervous, too!” But sistas don’t like to appear vulnerable and so don’t like their men to appear vulnerable–so you & I both sit home alone watching lesbian porn. :loser: When we can be watching it together. :koolaid:

    [quote comment=”21157″]@ ILBW
    i saw the shirt. that was cool. so how’d you make it?[/quote]

    @La Domina:

    OK, I was so excited by what I did but really, there are only a few steps:

    1. Buy letters and shirt.
    2. Use tape to lay out letters on a grid.
    3. Iron letters onto shirt.
    4. Next time get a little bigger shirt.

    Yah, yah, you could have figured that out.

    Lates, ILBW

  231. @ ILBW
    your comment to “linp” was quite funny. watching p_rn together. lol.

    i just figured out that the old smileys aren’t here anymore. what’s up with that. those jiggling butt cheeks were just funny enough to brighten my half hour everyday. the heck “STEPHANIE”…the heck.

    oh and yeah….i’ve done the iron onto clothes method before. doesn’t last long. i thought you got it made at some store or webstie. so you need a bigger shirt? i guess your original shirt would be classified as a “NIPPLE GRIPPER”! HAHAHA! 😆

  232. im so happy i read this!!! 😆 i was starting to think being a virgin was bad!!! 😯 ppl keep getting on my case about it. i want to… ‘u know’… but im too scared cant even write it how am i gonna do it!!!

    these are my confessions: 😕
    1. im so afraid that i’ll never find someone that really and truly loves me… all of me… that i love too… completely 🙁 .

    2. im afraid that if i find this great man i’ll be too afraid to love him and let him love me. 🙁

    3. i’ll probably die a virgin because im afraid of intimacy 🙁 .

    sad… i know.

  233. I’M BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WITH MORE CONFESSIONS!

    1. I hate mean peolpe..i can’t stand mean peolpe that be mean 😡

    2. I like nice peolpe..sweet peolpe..like myself! 🙂

    3. I actuclly would argue and cuess back at my mama during an augment….i know? shame on me 😆

    4. I would like to watch jay-z, beyonce and rihanna have a threesome …..NO forget jay-z NOT him…i would like watch beyonce and rihanna have lesbian sex together 😀 …i know? shame on me

    5.I still don’t know what i wanna do after hight school…so i’m afraid that i would be lost after hight school 😥

    6. i feel like a fool when try to talk over peolpe when i’ll try to say something and they not really listening to me ..so i’m afraid to talk over peolpe alot…and this is mainly in classroom’s….i don’t fit in at school 😐

    7. I love this site…i love comeing on here for peace of mind and to seeing my big sisters on here now that i can say that cuz i feel close to ya’ll ladyes now off of this ‘Admit It’ experience thing 😀

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