A few days ago I got an interesting e-mail from a man who says his name is Brian. Brian for some reason came to this site, used my contact form, and sent me a very lengthy e-mail explaining to me why he hates and refuses to date Black women. Brian titled his e-mail “My Confession”. Brian contacted me, a Black woman who runs a site in support of other Black women, to confess his dislike of us. Why? Why me? What made this man come to Brown Sista, see what I do and then feel his confession would be of interest to me? What exactly was Brian trying to accomplish with his e-mail and why was he trying to accomplish it with the very type of woman he claimed to despise- A Black Woman?
But what I really wondered is what type of response did Brian expect to elicit from me? Did he think I would attack him or did he think I would get down on my hands and knees and beg him to give us po, ugly, unwanted Black women another chance? LOL. Brian does not know who he is dealing with if he expected either one of those reactions from me- espcially the second one,
If Black women are not on Brian’s radar how did he find his way to this site and what did he read here that compelled him send me this e-mail? Something frightened Brian and I thought I would share my scenario with you all.
“Oh My Gawd, some Black chick is online singing the praises of other Black women- I can’t have that. Don’t Black women know they are the ugliest, most evil and unwanted women on the planet? Hold up- I better e-mail this chick and let her know.
You see sistas, for a certain type of brotha a low self esteem having sista is the only kinda sista they want. If you can convince a woman or a group of women that they are unloved or unwanted then hey, you can have a field day with them as they will feel honored just to have a man- any man- even if that man is beneath them.
When a woman has been robbed of her self esteem and is left feeling unwanted by her own men and men in general, she is ripe to be taken advantage of and there are plenty of men in this world looking for women they can use and abuse and something tells me Brian is one of those type of men.
But sistas, I haven’t chosen to share this e-mail with you to really talk about Brian but rather I thought I would use it as a chance to remind each and every sista who reads this blog how amazing you really are as women- Black women.
Now I know for many of you it is hard to imagine that what I just said is true. After all we are bombarded with words and images everyday that are not very flattering and tell us just the opposite. I know it is hard to imagine that you are beautiful and especially when everything that makes you you, your hair, your skin, even your body is reviled by the world (at least until they can find a way to copy it for themselves) but is is true.
Everyday I remind the young sistas who live around my block how beautiful and special they are but sometimes we must remind each other of this as well because the Brian’s of the world are always out there lurking- just waiting to pounce and tear your self-esteem apart. I mean how many times can anyone- even those of us who proclaim to be strong black women, take hearing the negativity that spews from the mouths of some our men, without it finally affecting how feel about ourselves and each other?
Sistas, I say to you that your sense of self worth is the greatest thing you have in the world. It will take you far and if you keep it intact it will protect you from the Brain’s of the world. It is a precious jewel- but like all things precious you must protect it, guard it and don’t ever let anyone- especially the Brian’s of the world take it from you.
Click over to page 2 to read Brian’s confession e-mail.