Are You Sexy?

What does it really mean to be sexy? Is sexiness correlated to the clothes we wear? Is sexy more about projecting an image that is confident? Is sexy more about our inner personalities? Or could the word sexy be just another overused adjective that has become diluted with references to our bodies?

The perception of what sexy is varies from person to person. So we asked some our readers to weigh in and give their perspectives on what sexy really means to them. Here’s what some of our readers had to say.

“To me, sexy means having confidence and having the ability to accept things about yourself that you can’t change. Sexy means carrying yourself in a respectful manner. I am coming out of a marriage where I was verbally and physically abused. I was called out my name because I gained weight after having my soon to be ex-husband’s child. He said that he wasn’t attracted to me anymore and I began to focus on my flaws. I started feeling like everything he said about me was true. But now that I am getting my divorce and with the help of the Lord, I am feeling sexy again. I haven’t lost much weight, but what’s going on with me on the inside makes me feel sexy and it has absolutely nothing to do with my outer apperance or what I’m wearing.”

“Confidence! Sexy means being confident in myself and having a good spirit.”

“I think a sexy woman knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to let people know. She knows how to draw people in with her personality, even if she’s not the best looking woman in the room. She doesn’t have to have the most expensive clothes on. Whatever she has on, rather it’s jeans and a T-shirt, she knows how to wear it with class and always with confidence.”

What do you think it means to be sexy?


  1. My daughter actually used the word sexy while speaking to me the other day about something and it bothered me because sex is a part of the word sexy and in it’s true sense I think is meant to be anything that reminds of us of or makes us want to have sex. However, I am glad to see the words confident and confidence used so many times (4 in total) because to me that is exactly what sexy is. Being totally at peace with who you are and rocking the hell outta what you got is sexy as hell. Confidence is sexy. Walking with your head up is sexy.

    I am sexy…

    You are sexy…

    Brown Sistas are sexy…

  2. “…sexy be just another overused adjective that has become diluted with references to our bodies”

    Precisely! Why do we have to associate the words/terms confidence,respectful, intelligent…to sexy? I don’t know it does not make any sense. The dictionary definitions for those words don’t implicate the word or anything remotely connected to it. Also those words existed a long time before “sexy” was created or ever uttered by anyone. I think that word has been abused, just like the word “love”. People nowadays love any and everything that they dont. And I know its not a big deal, its just that when it is used, it does not hold a lot of meaning/substance, in every context it does not apply…

    When I think of a very confident person, I think of some one who knows who they are in Christ, and in this world. When i think of a respectful person, i think of someone who is aware and acknowledging of other people… When I think of a sexy person, hmmmm… I don’t know I think of someone I could probably fall into temptation with. Now I know many confident and respectful people… that does NOT mean that I will ever fall into temptation with them.

    I look at that word with a side eye. A lot of women/men who don’t seem to have a lot of RESPECT for themselves, and contain a lot of insecurities (lack of confidence), can be labeled as sexy (you know SEXually promiscuous ppl, loose girls, prostitutes etc). It is about the SEX appeal you have… the sex part… so why would you use the same word to describe two completely different people?? I wish people would be honest.
    OK I’m done typing. To me that word is played out.

  3. I am Sexy, Because i am confident,humble and has class….

    I think sexy to some men, Big booty, Double D’s and low self esteem…The Saying “ALL WEMON ARE SEXY” is complety True…Sexy to me is not big breats, its confidence…Like Gabby(PRECIOUS), Overwight, but she glows of sexiness.She is confident…Monique is sexy…..

    I look at celebs like Beyonce, I have seen Beyonce with a dry wig,Ugly Dress, No Make-up, AND SHE IS SEXY…She is confident…U dont have to be caked full of makeup to be sexy…


  4. As a black man, sexy to me is all of the above, physically, emotionally, and spiritually attractive. If a woman is confident and sure, and she can discuss sports as easy as discussing politics, she is sexy. If she can hold an intelligent conversation, than she is sexy because intelligence in a black woman is extremely sexy to me. It’s all dependant on what your personal likes and dislikes are. Dingyness is not cute or sexy, but some people like that( although I don’t know why…)but anyway, ladies be yourselves, stay true to you, no matter if you’re a size 5 or 50, know that you are all beautiful.

  5. Graciousness is the ultimate form of beauty and sexiness(Michelle Obama). Sexy can be generous and kind and I’m just a sucker for mutual respect and admiration!!! Or…drama or bad boy!

    I believe I’m sexy because I’ve always lived and operated from my feelings and was always sensual from loving the smell of fresh cut grass, barefoot in the park, sitting under a tree, being around water, outdoors, having fun, listening to music, being a “people watcher”…laughing…enjoying good food…being super ambitious but kind and generous, loyal, smart and talented, but respectful of others’ having, being and doings. My free heart makes people love or hate me. Bold even when I was shy and overly self-conscious, it was confidence in the making. I’m comfortable glammed out or with my natural self, the latter being my favorite state.

    All I ever, really, really wanted was to be “free!” In my pursuit for freedom which translates into happiness, I’ve learned a lot about myself and human nature!

    I’m sexy because I care, I’m attractive, a fun person to be around and I have a relationship with God and try to point out the good in life!

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