Are You The Real Reason Why You Can’t Keep A Man/Woman?

Attraction: A characteristic or quality that provides pleasure.

This definition has been taken from It basically defines attraction as being a quality that one enjoys in something or more importantly someone. What makes a person attractive? The answer to this varies by individuals. What one person finds attractive another might find revolting. In fact, people become so subconsciously attached to their own definition of what is attractive that they find themselves dating the same person over and over. They date different individuals but they are all the same type of people with either similar personality traits or a similar look.

Which leads me to ask the question: Can you control what you are attracted to? For instance if you are a person who is attracted to people who are emotionally unavailable, even though you crave a connection with your partner. Can you curve that attraction? I would think that if one tried they could curve what they found to be attractive if they truly thought it was self destructive to themselves. Then again, not everyone is that self aware. Unfortunately.

In my opinion you can curve what you are attracted to if you make a conscious effort to do so. For instance when I was much younger, I would go for the “bad boy” type. The type that was a trouble maker and needed guidance and to be told his life was worthwhile instead of having that quality within himself to begin with. In other words, I liked dating thugs. After many failed relationships I soon learned that this type of male was not a good fit for my personality. Sure I was an urban teenager as they were, but I was also book smart, clean cut, had a solid family upbringing, sweet and over all, a good girl. Luckily, I forced myself to get over this attraction. In other words, I grew out of the dumb s**t. I will admit that my attraction to this type of guy also had a lot to do with my upbringing. I grew up on the west side of Chicago and in my neighborhood, much of my male peers were thugs who had one thing on their mind. I guarantee it wasn’t reading a book with me. However, this was all I had readily available to me so this was all I thought existed. It wasn’t until I attended college and had the opportunity to branch out further than my neighborhood and immediate surroundings that I met other types of guys. Guys who did not come with a wrap sheet or a chronic marijuana habit.

Broadening my horizons felt good. It was an… To Read The Rest Go To YeahSheSaidIt

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  1. well I must agree people do get caught up in Attraction that they become self absorbed In there own personal wants&needs..

  2. “I would think that if one tried they could curve what they found to be attractive if they truly thought it was self destructive to themselves. Then again, not everyone is that self aware. Unfortunately.”

    that sums it up right thurr>

  3. Lately, most of the articles on this site have been written by someone from another site. It’s so annoying to have to leave this site to read the musings of some other random woman. I miss hearing the blog owner’s perspective. Why even have a blog if you aren’t going to write your own posts anymore…?

  4. What’s attractive my be an empty shell. People get caught up with those specific things and wind getting something less attractive in the long run.

    Peace, Love and Chocolate

  5. Womanhood has been destroyed by this society ; Women are running around trying to outdo men, instead of encouraging them to be better; You wonder why you can’t keep a man, You can’t cook, You can’t clean, you’re fake (hair nails too much make up), You’re too busy chasing the nothingness amd trying to keep the “strong black woman” stereotype alive , you’re too busy entertaining bad partners, and ignoring the real deal, “Oh he doesn’t have a car”,”i make too much money to do such or such” That’s why you can’t keep a man I hear so many black women complain about “Never having the chance to play the damsel in distress” Well have you tried to? There isn’t a man on this planet that will mistreat a woman that is there for him, in every shape or form,The answers are in your face you just chose to ignore them…

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