Cookie in a Gorilla Suit and Other Empire S2 Shockers

COOKIE IN A GORILLA SUITEmpire, Fox’s break-out hit of the 2014-2015 television season, is a show I continue to be on the fence about. While I understand the show’s success, I can’t help but cringe at the way it chooses to shed light on certain social issues. For example: the mass incarceration of black men in this country.

The issue is touched on quite a bit in the beginning of The Devils Are Here, season two’s first episode, which I just watched a preview of. The show kicks off with a Free Lucious Concert, and features rapper Swizz Beatz lamenting what he believes to be the unjust jailing of Lucious, who we all know is actually very much guilty of what he has been jailed for.
Continue Reading

Maintaining Your Summer Figure


Warm weather, skimpy outfits and the prospect of wearing a bikini are often motivators to get in shape for the summer. But what about the fall and winter months when we are mostly covered up? You can maintain your summer body if you follow these simples tips that help you learn the key to weight maintenance.

Tip 1: Don’t cover up. Sure, it may be cold outside, but that doesn’t mean you have to wear big bulky clothes that hide your figure. Layers of clothing can often hide a weight gain of as little as five pounds. That five pounds can quickly turn into 15 that you never even knew you gained because you were so covered up. So keep warm, but keep it tight as well. Fitted clothes remind us that we have a figure maintain.

Tip2: Watch those comfort foods. When it’s cold outside our bodies crave warm stick to your bones kind of foods. However, eating heavy soups, carbs and meat will lead to substantial weight gain. Instead, try to keep to your summer meal plan. Lots of steamed fish, salads, fruits and vegetables will keep you full, while keeping off the winter weight.

Tip 3: Continue to work out. Cold weather is no excuse to hibernate. Stay social. Instead of meeting the girls at the pool or the beach, take the party to the gym. Better yet, put on a warm sweat suit and go walking or running in the park.

Tip 4: Stay sexually active. Sex is a great workout tool. It gets the heart racing and really activates those endorphins. It’s also a great way to tell if you have gained a few pounds you may not have noticed. If you tire more easily and those leg muscles seem to give out quicker, it may be a sign you have put on a pound or two. So keep the lovemaking going during those winter months. And ladies- stay on top. Riding really works those thigh muscles.

Nude Heels for Dark Skin Tones


If you are a Brown Sista who has ever shopped for nude heels, then you know what a truly difficult task that can be.

Shoe designer Christian Louboutin has acknowledged the problem as well and come up with a solution: a capsule collection he calls The Shades.

Starting this fall, five classic Louboutin styles will be re-imagined in shades ranging from fair bisk to a chestnut brown.

According to Louboutin, the new shades aim to “closely match the actual color of the customer’s skin tone” and in doing so will “stretch the silhouette and give the appearance of longer legs.”

And just in case you are confused about which color is right for you, Louboutin has created an app for that.

Just snap a pic of your leg and the app will match your skin tone to the right Louboutin shade.

Neat, huh?


Looking for more affordable nudes? Try these.

“Say It Loud: I’m Pregnant, Ratchet & Proud”

So recently on Twitter, Amber Rose said that she “loves it when Wiz calls her his baby mama because it makes her feel ratchet and she likes it.”

One of the definitions of the word ratchet according to the Urban Dictionary is:

1. A whore
2. Dirty/Nasty
3. Ghetto as HELL
4. Annoying
5. Busted

So….. this is how building his legacy makes her feel. This is what she is thinking while she is pregnant with his child. Brothers, I keep telling you to look beyond big asses, thick thighs, and a pretty face because NONE of that is relevant if her mind isn’t right. You mess around and have your future trapped in an undeveloped mind, your child being held hostage in a mind that is not even close to thinking like God, therefore lacking the capability to give birth to one!

It’s already been revealed that she is having a boy. Let’s refer back to number one of the ratchet definition, which is “a whore” and if she likes the way that makes her feel what is she teaching her son, regarding his view of women while he is in the womb? What will be his treatment of women? A whore is defined as:

A woman who engages in promiscuous sexual intercourse, usually for money; prostitute; harlot; strumpet.
If his MOTHER likes the way being a whore makes her “feel” then what type of woman will her son seek? Is he more likely to treat a woman like a whore, or already see her as such, and assume that she likes the way being a whore makes her feel, since this is something he learned from his mother? Right now because of her warped views and mindset, she is instilling warped views in the mind of her son.

It is true that women are the first teachers and the FIRST lessons are taught in the womb. When a woman is pregnant, whatever she intakes mentally, spiritually, and emotionally so does the child. That is why conception should take place in the MIND first. Brothers, you should see how fertile her MENTAL ground is, and if she can cultivate the spiritual and intellectually seeds that you plant there. What good is physical fertile ground if the mental ground is barren?

Whenever I post something on my Facebook page, my inbox becomes flooded with messages, and this time was no different. When I wrote a status about Amber Rose and what she said, I was immediately emailed by several Sisters stating that he made her a “baby mama“, once again using old faithful, aka “deflection“. When I initially saw what she wrote on twitter, my thoughts were, why do we love being baby mamas? Why can’t we love it when we are referred to as “his wife?” So when I received the inbox messages, I thought how can someone “make” you a baby mama? No one can make you what you aren’t or haven’t already volunteered to be. Every time you lie down with a man, and he is not your husband you are running for the position of “baby mama” and your back becomes your platform.

Basically the message stated that if he married her, then she would love it when he calls her his wife. Maybe if SHE made marriage a requirement before she allowed him to receive the benefits of marriage, then that would be the case, but SHE didn’t so it’s not.
Amber Rose is role model for so many of our young girls and young women. What message is she sending to them when she boasts of how she loves being called a baby mama? Instead of “turning a hoe into a housewife” our young girls probably think they have to be a “whore” in order to BE a wife, or baby mamas, which sadly, some of us feel like being a man’s baby mama, is the highest honor. This is a woman that said she was “a south Philly hood rat” and when asked about her previous relationship with Kanye West, she said that she was an “ill b*** to a rock star.” So she likes all things ratchet, she was a self-proclaimed hood rat, and she was an ill bi*** and this is the type of woman our young girls are choosing to emulate.

In order for God in a man to reproduced, the God in him must be present. Amber Rose is unable (at this time) to reproduce the God in Wiz, because he hasn’t revealed the God in him. She is reproducing him in his current mental state, coupled with her mental state. If he was on an elevated level he wouldn’t have placed his future in the womb of a ratchet loving, ill b** hood rat. . If she was on an elevated level, she wouldn’t desecrate the place where life is being formed with those types of damaging thoughts nor would she see herself in that manner.

Listen to the immature terminology that we commonly use in our community, “baby mama and baby daddy”. Black Woman, you were not designed to be ANYONE’s “baby mama”, you are to be his WIFE, and once you are his wife, then your womb becomes the pathway to extend his life. Through YOU, his legacy becomes physically manifested.

Black Man, you weren’t created to be a “baby daddy”, you are to be her HUSBAND, and you plant the seeds that will continue your existence. That is the DIVINE order. We have to stop trivializing the procreation process. Sisters, you should love your husband so much that reproducing him is an honor. His qualities, spirit and mind should be so beautiful that you know that reproducing him is vital to produce a positive change in our community. Now does any of that sound ratchet to you?

Of course I also received messages that referred to men being ratchet due to their behavior and mistreatment of women. It never fails, regardless of what I say, women will always attempt to redirect it back to the men, but I navigate right back to us. Here is a woman, that with HER own words, says that she likes feeling ratchet, and somehow, someway, there was an attempt to shift it back to men. Listen, if you have ratchet thoughts while you are pregnant, that equates having a ratchet womb, because as a woman “thinketh” so IS she, along with what SHE produces. So if you are upset at the so called ratchet behavior that a man displays, I suggest you immediately seek out the owner of the ratchet womb that produced him.


Married Pastor – Passing along HIV

Pastor Craig Lamar Davis looks like any other healthy, happy, heterosexual pastor with good family values. He was once a preacher at the Full Gospel Baptist Church in Atlanta and a pillar of leadership in the community. Also, like a lot of men at the front of the church, the pastor had a thing for the ladies.

Another thing you might want to know about Davis, according to authorities, is that the pastor is HIV positive. He also didn’t seem to care who else became HIV positive after he slept with them.

The pastor was arrested for reckless conduct after police found that he was sleeping with several women with whom he was not married. A woman by the name of Ronita McAfee says that she met the pastor on Facebook and began sleeping with him.

Ronita says that she became concerned when one of the pastor’s ex-girlfriends called her to say that she had HIV. She claims that the pastor then counseled her (presumably leaning on the word of the good “lawud”) and told her to get tested. Davis then says that she noticed that the pastor himself was not interested in getting tested, even though she had also contracted HIV. This is what prompted her to seek out a warrant for his arrest.

Ronita is, by our best guess, the first person to file for the arrest of someone who was found to maliciously spread HIV in Clayton, County, GA. When the investigation began, another woman in the church leadership stepped forward with her confession about interacting with Davis. The woman even claimed that she’d been celibate for 15 years before meeting him.

Ladies, please take a good look at this man, because the fact is that you probably know him. He’s the nice, smooth, good-looking man that makes you want to get naked on the third or fourth date. You trust him because you’ve been raised to believe that a man of God would never hurt you. In fact, he might be the man that your church has had you waiting for because he too is grounded in the belief system that you’ve deemed to be a requirement for any man with whom you choose to share your body. He knows how to get into your head, because he knows that one defining characteristic of nearly every black woman in America is her deep and unshakable commitment to the church.

As a man who’s written extensively about other sad creatures like Bishop Eddie Long (who also hails from Atlanta, aka the bible-thumping Sodom and Gomorrah), I find Pastor Davis’ case remarkable for several reasons:

First, the courage of these women to step out and publicly reveal the pastor’s deception has saved lives. I wish there were a day where every 30 and 40-something year old black woman who has caught HIV, Herpes, Syphilis or some other disease would speak out about what happened to them, so that younger women don’t end up falling into the same trap. Countless women have died from catching something that their man brought home to them after fulfilling his “interpersonal needs” someplace else. Unfortunately, the relentless shame thrust upon “the good Christian girl” with a venereal disease keeps many of these stories from ever being told.

Secondly, the pastor’s denial of his condition and unwillingness to go to the doctor is quite common. Many women are accustomed to getting regular STD screenings as part of their annual checkup. Men are not raised in the same way. There are men I know who sleep with literally dozens of women every single year and haven’t been to the doctor since MC Hammer had a hit record. Even worse, many women don’t ask and certainly don’t confirm the man’s HIV status as much as they check the size of his bank account or the magnitude of his “swag” factor. The fact is that if you think he’s got swag, then a lot of other women do too.

Men like Pastor Davis are allowed to prey on unsuspecting women for at least three reasons:

1) Many women value style over substance – if you look good, then you must be good. Mind you, men make the same mistake, since they falsely believe that when a pretty girl offers you sex, you’re supposed to take it.

2) Many women falsely believe that men who go to church are better than men who don’t. Bishop Eddie Long should help you to know better than that. Unfortunately, people consider each case of a pastor doing dirt to be an exception to the rule, without realizing that there are men like Davis all over the country. Davis is not the man you need to fear; actually, you need to fear all the Craig Davises that you still don’t know about.

3) Many women don’t ask questions and will gladly sleep with a handsome playboy without checking and confirming his STD status. If he doesn’t mention the other women he slept with before he came to her house, it’s as if those women don’t even exist. Even worse is that the fixation on HIV leads us to forget about how many women have had their wombs corrupted from all the other STDs that you can get besides HIV. Many people will brag about having a negative HIV test, but won’t get a full STD screening from the doctor – a researcher in Philadelphia told me that he randomly tested 20 men in an inner city barbershop and found that over half of them had Chlamydia.

What’s the result of the aforementioned factors all coming together, conjoined with intense denial in the black church and a commercialized hip-hop culture where both men and women glorify female degradation and irresponsible hyper-sexuality? An HIV explosion like you would not believe. So, every time you hear about folks going from one relationship to the next or the man with five babies with four different women, just remember that, while all this is happening, viruses, germs and bacteria are being shared with every romantic interaction. Even worse, because the men aren’t getting their reality checks from the doctor, it’s all “out of sight, out of mind.”

Take a note from the lessons of these women and realize that another Pastor Davis likely lives in your own community. But also note that the Pastor Davis-types of the world are allowed to do their dirty work because all of us continue to empower and excuse the devilish snakes in the pulpit. A person can do all the evil he wants in the world, and as long as he asks for God’s forgiveness in public (providing no further confirmation that his behavior has changed), we invite him right back into the church and pretend like it never happened. Just go ask R. Kelly.


The Sobering Truth About Men

Let’s Make Something Painfully Clear Here…

Consider this a Public Service Announcement or, a Reality Check or, a Wake-Up Call:

Most women look at a crowd of men like a candystore, they just love them some men and they’re looking and wondering which one they want with glee and anticipation, drooling, etc.

Something this society never tells you is the FACT that men are NOT your friends.

We are the number one cause of women’s deaths. We are the number one cause of women’s injuries. We are the rapists and child molesters and warmongers.

Unmarried women outlive married women while married men live longer than unmarried ones.

We are the ones who will pump you full of babies and split.

We are the ones who will waste up your youth, take up years of your time.

We, as a group, are NOT your friends – in fact, as a group, we are the enemy.

You are raised to greet us with open arms (and, open legs) but, we are at best exploitive and at worse, hostile.

The good men are the EXCEPTIONS, not the rule.

I’m a man and I hate this fact but, it’s too true.

YOUR JOB is to find the needle in the haystack, not entertain every smiling, sweet-talking, goodlooking man that comes along.

Be careful when you go chasing a man, you might get him. Lesbians have figured this out and want no more to do with us. I don’t blame them – but, of course, that’s an extreme reaction.

If I were a woman, I’d distrust men and I’d make them prove themselves over a period of time before they got close to me. It used to be that way, back in the day. Then, women were “liberated” sexually…

That just meant that you were free to be exploited and left holding the kids – if he didn’t just beat you or kill you.

Women just need to stop perceiving men as a sea to swim in when they should stay out of the water and stand back and try to pick a good one and realize that most of them aren’t good and they are being taught to get worse, quite frankly.

So, I hope I sobered you up. Men aren’t something to play with, we’re a minefield you have to walk thru to find the right one – you need to be serious. The more of us you interact with, the more of the enemy you are engaging.

We are NOT toys to play with and we are NOT fun – more often than not YOU will get played so, you need to be serious about all this – it’s no game.

Good luck and stay smart, ladies.

Zap Summer Zits

Though I love the warm days of spring and summer, with those days come sweating, oily skin and then worst of all, the dreaded break-outs.

If you’re like me you’ve spent a pretty penny over the years trying to curb those little zit monsters. However, I have learned that the best solutions are usually the cheapest, and already to be found in most medicine cabinets.

Here is a list of quickies I have found that usually zap those suckers in 2-3 days.

1. Baking Soda: When mixed with distilled water, baking soda forms a paste you can generously apply as either a spot treatment or all over your face with a cotton ball. It does wonders for the swelling and redness usually associated with whiteheads.

2. Hydrogen Peroxide: Soaking a cotton ball in hydrogen peroxide helps dry out pimples, as well as remove excess oil and bacteria which can make a break-out worse.

3. Aspirin: Another common drying agent is aspirin. When crushed and mixed with water, aspirin becomes a spot treatment you can apply overnight. You’ll be pleased at what you don’t see when you wake up with in the morning.

If you have any tried and true methods for battling random break-outs do share them below. And remember, for serious acne problems, it is best to see a dermatologist.