July 4th marked a transformative moment in history – not only in the R & B and Hip Hop worlds but, the world at large. The day Frank Ocean proclaimed to the world that he is in fact a bi-sexual African-American man, ignited a long-standing conversation that needed to be had within our community, albeit not limited to our community alone. That Ocean has been steadily rising to fame in recent months with impressive works such as hits “Novacane,” and “Swim Good,” alongside his behind the scenes [ghost writing] jobs for the likes of Justin Bieber, Brandy Norwood, Beyonce Knowles and John Legend, to name a few – was put on the back burner: in his “coming out” moment, all of those success charting and critically-acclaimed notables instantaneously dissipated and then came back.
You see, the moment that Ocean came out, his sexuality became bigger than his talent…and then people came to their senses again. People having come to their senses again may have easily been attributed to the fact that the infamous “coming out” affair was supported by a few good men a.k.a popular culture magnates including: Jay-Z, Russell Simmons, members of Ocean’s crew Odd Future, and plentiful others. My greatest concern lies not in the “coming out.” Rather, my greatest concern lies in the fact that people spend their time caring about with whom Tom, Dick or Harry choose to sleep. Really? What’s it to you anyway?
The coming to their senses aspect of this entire event lies in the many people are just too darn nosy for their own good, so the moment they realize that they were over-zealous about someone else’s sex life, especially a celeb, who they will never spend a day in day in the life of – they recognize that the person is actually pretty talented or quite simply should not be defined by their sexuality. Not that sexuality doesn’t matter because to most of us it’s a big deal. It’s more a matter of sexuality being a huge public deal. I’m from the school of thought that believes that what a person does in the bedroom should be a private matter because if you’re really that interested, you should just join ‘em.
I think that’s where my concerns lie as it pertains to the whole sexual rights phenomenon. I don’t think there should ever have been a movement in the first place and that stems from the knowing that people poking their noses in what’s better known as “none of their business” was the cause of it all. It’s completely unnecessary for people to have to spend their time explaining why they choose to sleep with whom they choose to sleep. Personal beliefs aside, we’re all humans who may come from different vantage points on a variety of topics but, it is my belief that whether or not we agree with another’s preferences or choices – be they religious, sexual or other – we do have to respect them. So long as they are not harming anyone during the process of living their lives in the ways in which they so choose, then what gives?
With all this in mind, given the cultural climate, particularly as it relates to our community’s angst toward Black men’s sexuality, I thank Ocean for his bravery, his truth-telling nature, his talent, his voice, and his opening up of a can of worms for other Black boys and men who may one day choose to do the same.
Why do you think people care so much about others’ sexual preferences? How much of a factor do you believe religion is in peoples’ opinions around sexuality?
Nikki delights in writing both informative and thought-provoking pieces that propel readers to choose a healthier alternative [in all facets of life]. Nikki views the Blogosphere as an educational space in which transformation and truthful dialogue can transpire for the purpose of unifying humanity, in spite of our differences. As such, Nikki intends to make use of her love for words and keen eye to ensure that the site delivers optimal pieces for your perusal. You can follow Nikki on Twitter @artculturemusic.