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I have noticed an ongoing trend in relationships these days. One where couples no longer whiseper sweet nothings in their partners ears, but rather text them.
I have several girlfriends who seem to spend more time texting their men over the phone than actually spending time with them in person.
According to a recent study on how technology has affected the dating scene, 65% of respondents felt it was okay to ask for a FIRST date via text message. 48% said it was okay to break up via text, while 30% admit to actually being dumped via text message.
Even more sobering, many women claim texting has totally ruined the act of courting. “A lot of guys don’t even call anymore, they just text,” said one female respondent. “Guys no longer feel like they have to woo you. Now it’s all about technology. They feel a text message is just as good as a phone call or one on one interaction.”
When asked how much time they actually spend with their “textmates,” most admitted that texting has cut down the one-on-one time they spend with their partners.
Natasha Reynolds, a college student, says she and her boyfriend hardly speak by phone or see each other because of their busy schedules. She admits the short length of text messages had led to misunderstandings and thus they have limited their texting time. She says she hopes it will strengthen their relationship and the way they communicate with one another.
So, how you Brown Sista readers? Do you find yourself texting your men more than you talk to them via phone or see them in person? Do you think texting has ruined the art of dating?
Have your say.
Kanye West begs us to ponder a crucial question when it comes to exclusive relationships and marriage: “Is love cursed by monogamy?” In this day and age it’s very likely that you’ve either been cheated on before, have cheated on your significant other, will cheat on your significant other in the future or will be cheated on. Is this a sad reality that we will have to come to terms with or is it possible to have a monogamous and loving relationship for a sufficient amount of time?
Imagine a world where polygamy was the norm and people were expected to date more than one person at a time. Polyamorous is a word used to describe a person who has several intimate relationships at a time. When sitting to consider the benefits of being in this type of relationship and having the acceptance of all parties involved it sounds ideal. You get to basically have your cake and eat it too. But if you are a woman dating three different men who all know about each other, you may reach a point where you start developing stronger feelings for one of the men that you’re dating…then what? It is an innate human desire to want to be with someone and experience a close relationship but what happens when you want someone exclusively to yourself? The thought of someone you love being intimate with someone else is enough to insight the green-eyed monster in anyone. How can you be nonchalant while watching the person you love, loving someone else?
I’ve heard the saying “if you’re not ready to be exclusive, don’t be in a relationship,” but what about those in polyamorous relationships? The beauty of a relationship or marriage lies in knowing that you have found someone who cherishes and loves you enough to make a commitment to be with only you. Without that sense of security, the glamour of a relationship fades. Why even be in a relationship with someone if you guys are free to date and commit to many other people? Monogamy, although a difficult concept for many to grasp, is what makes a relationship so amazing. Despite the temptations of others around you, perhaps the true test of love is being able to commit to one person and only one person. Being in a polyamorous relationship could be fun at first; the ability to have relationships with several men sounds appealing. But at some point it’s nice to feel like someone loves and cares about you enough to commit to you and share their life with you and only you.
Janice Gassam is a graduate student currently getting her degree in Industrial Organizational Psychology. To contact Janice her email is firstname.lastname@example.org
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