CL Topic Of The Day: How Many Is Too Many?

Via our forum member, Soul Cry:

Is it your business to know to how many people your partner has been with in the past ? Would you ask?

And if they told you, and the number was high…would it turn you off? What if it’s a closed book of their past? What if their name is widely known for that past?

Do you think men and women should be weighed differently on this scale? How many is too many for a woman, how many for a man?

And which is worse: (1) multiple partners or (2) few partners, but more adventures (swinging, three-somes, etc)

As always you can leave your comments here of join our official message board, The Cocoa Lounge, and leave your thoughts there.


  1. It’s weird I find multiple partners a turn off. However there is a guy who I have had feelings for,for a number of years now, we go back and forth with each other….. Anyway he has admitted to having stopped counting how many women he had slept with after the 150th one and he is only 27.. Don’t ask me why I make allowances for this guy..Love is stupid…!!!

    Few partners, but more adventerous is fine…in fact it is intriguing…

  2. This is a interesting topic,

    But of course we all know that women are always judged more harshly for their past sexual encounters than men, it’s always been that way since the beginning of time…I personally look at men and women the same for sleeping around, a man is just as much of a who** as woman is and vice versa…Hell men make babies and spread diseases just like women so why should they be judge any differently.

    As far as the number of partners goes that would depend on the age of the person and how long a person was in a particular relationship…If this person was just giong around having random sex with diffenent people and doing all kinds of freaky stuff with anybody that would definately be a turn off…And a man who does threesomes and swinging is a huge no no for me, swapping and sharing sex partners is just down right nasty and dangerous and I would have to question anybody who would get down with that type of thing, yuck!

    And YES it’s your business to know how many people that your partner has had sex with especially when you are putting your body and your health at risk. You have a right to ask as many questions as you want.

  3. Man whores are a definate turn off to me. I feel like they don’t respect their bodies, and have an appetite for pleasure that one woman can never satisfy. It’s a health risk, and I always ask the men I’m dating how many women they’ve been with. In some cities, one in eight African Americans have HIV. With those statistics booming like that, it’s only a matter of time before a promiscuous partner is exposed to a disease. Unfortunately, all it takes is one mistake in judgement, and you’re life is in danger. It’s more serious than people want to acknowledge. Risky bed business is definately an issue I address early on because I need to know. I don’t like surprises!

  4. funny how this turned up on here bcoz over the weekend with ma girls we were counting our past partners. I agree with Teeda in that risky bed business is an issue. But some could have few partners and still have the disease. Getting yourselves checked regardless solves this, well-blown whistles or not!!

  5. *Is it your business to know to how many people your partner has been with in the past ? Would you ask?

    Once you get ready to become sexually active, I say yeah, that conversation needs to be had. Would I ask? Probably yes but in a round-a-bout way. I’m pretty good at reading signs of man-whoredom, so I’d go with my instincts first and seek verbal clarification later.

    *And if they told you, and the number was high…would it turn you off? What if it’s a closed book of their past? What if their name is widely known for that past?

    Yes it would turn me off because immediately I’d see ‘venereal disease’. If it’s a closed book, would we be discussing it? You mean, what if he never admitted? Hmmm. If that’s the case then instantly that shows a sign of lack of trust and my ‘Caution’ alarm would be going off. If they are widely known for their whoring ways, again, I’d check my internal judge-o-meter. If I deem him genuine I might be willing to give him a chance, after about a zillion blood tests and whatnot. But again, don’t think I’d get that far because I would’ve detected (or hoped I would’ve) his inner, man-whoringness.

    *Do you think men and women should be weighed differently on this scale? How many is too many for a woman, how many for a man?

    No the scale should be the same, but it isn’t and probably won’t ever will be. Women are viewed more harshly for their whorish ways, particularly when they lay claim to it, are proud of it and later profit from it (Karrine Stephans anyone?). When it’s men, it’s “oh well, he’s a Tomcat”, as my grandmother would say or a “rolling stone”. It’s almost as if it’s expected because it is and has been most definitely accepted.

    Too many for a man and a women would vary, I think, depending upon the age of the individual and here I go reinforcing those stereotypes. If it’s a man of 20 and he’s had 20 partners, the consensus would be, “He’s a male, he’s wild and horny and young and dumb…he’ll grow out of it.” Likewise, if the male is of age 50 (Hugh Hefner), the consensus would be “He’s a playa!” and there would be a certain reverence bestowed upon him and his playa-ways. *roll eyes*

    If it’s a woman of 20 with ten partners, one might deem her, “maybe she started off pretty wild in her youth, but she’s slowed down now.” If she’s 20 with 50 partners, “she’s a whore and probably on drugs or prostituting or has low self-worth, etc.” And the overall appraisal of this woman would be, JEZEBEL reincarnated, but not as classy and not as svelte. If it’s a woman of 40+ with many, many suitors, then she would be viewed as a Jezebel and probably most likely garner a certain respect from ‘some men’ because she’s virtually a madam, an Alexis Carrington (okay, so she probably had fewer partners) or a Heidi Fleiss. (sorry can’t get the house madam image out of my mind) She’d be HATED on by women and some weak men, but the majority of menfolk would be like, “Damn, she’s a bad bytch!” LOL

    *And which is worse: (1) multiple partners or (2) few partners, but more adventures (swinging, three-somes, etc)

    Hmmm, probably fewer partners with adventurous natures. Those are the ones most likely to be closet freaks with a ‘problem’; those who sneak out at night and take a drive through the red light district picking up transvestite prostitutes. Those have something to hide.

    Multiple partners and even those who dabble in the threesomes and swinging just don’t give a ____ and are more likely to be open and honest about their ‘activities’. I’d say those who live in secret and travel in smaller numbers under the guise of sensible, good, normal folk are the ones who are by far the worst.

    ***I have totally rambled, forgive me. 😆

  6. Very interesting subject… well I do think that a person has a right to know about their partners sexual history. If for nothing more than for health reasons. There are too many sexual illnesses out there to just be laying around w/ any & everybody. And no I don’t think men or women should be weighed differently about their sexual past, if the lady slept w/ a 100 guys & the dude slept w/ 100 women, the 2 of them are both whores in my book. He’s a man whore & she’s.. well you get the point. I know that this society is bulit on the groundworkings of a woman can’t do what a man does, but I personally deflect from that ideology & call it the way I see it. A whore is a whore is a… whore lol. However @ the same time I always warn various ladies about being so “open” b/c as I stated even though I think that a whore is a whore, the world doesn’t. Which means that a lady will be called every name in the book, while the guy is just “sowing his oats.”
    Yes I have to admit, if my guy was to say he slept w/ 100’s of women I would be turned off. As for which is worse I would say just plain multiple partners. The reason why I say this is b/c w/ swingers, it’s a open relationship. You are given the choice & you know that your partner will be w/ mannny more, which means that the 2 of you know that you need to be up on your status & be healthy. With few partners well it is what it is, no it doesn’t take away from the fact that STDs are STDs, but @ least they can go back can count their primary partners on their hand lol.
    As for mutiple partners, it’s just randomness in a sense @ least in my eyes. IDK, it just that it means that you lay down with every person that you meet up w/ & think that there’s a connection. When in reality all it is is lust. But the key in all of this is to be honest & open w/ your partner. Because when you do that you’ve given the other person the choice to decide if they want to be w/ you are not. Yeah, I might think it’s gross that you’ve slept w/ 1000 women, but I’ll give you mad props for being honest & letting me make the decision of our “relationship. But of course these are only my thoughts.

    @Kanyade… trust it’s easy to start rambling… I think I did the same thing lol.

  7. Is it your business to know to how many people your partner has been with in the past ?
    hell to the yeah if he wanna be with me ima check him see if he is clean i myself slept with only 10 men and i consider that too much i’ m 31

    Would you ask? you bet i will madea his behind and ask question until i’ m satisfied or i catch him in the act

    And if they told you, and the number was high…would it turn you off? definately i dont wanna be with a whore
    What if it’s a closed book of their past? once a whore….
    What if their name is widely known for that past? then they can count me out i’ m such a private person i couldnt associate with someone that think or used to with their ding dong

    Do you think men and women should be weighed differently on this scale? yeah a man is a man regardless its up to women to be smarter and to have more values
    How many is too many for a woman?12
    how many for a man?15

    And which is worse: (1) multiple partners or (2) few partners, but more adventures (swinging, three-somes, etc)

    all of the above sisters

  8. Well – I NEVER!! LOL – I never enter comments on blogs but felt compelled to do so. First of all what is too many partners? Secondly, most of the time men will probably beat us out in the numbers game on that. My “friend” and I “swing” from time to time. We ALWAYS use protection. I live in the ATL – we pick and choose who and what we do – as simple as that. It is a mutual agreement. Safe sex these days is safe sex even with your spouse or “supposed” significant other. Can we ever be sure? Do people always tell the truth NO! even when you ask. As a woman – I deserve to enjoy who and what I want – I truly believe we hold back – scared of what the guy might think of us and our preference. Are they afraid to let us know what they want? NO – and they are quick to find what is is they want and need if their current lover isn’t supplying – food for thought yall…

  9. If you’re married/engaged to someone of course it’s your right to know their history. The main problem is that people tend to edit these numbers….there is no way for me to truly know the # of people my fiancee/husband has been with. He may edit the # way down, especially if he is dating a woman that he feels is conservative. The only thing you can really do is have a round or two of full std tests & pray.

  10. This is totally off the subject but I beseech everyone to Google “Money Masters” to educate yourselves on the financial catasrophe that we will all soon be facing. We have taken our way of life for granted but now it appears a tremendous storm is raging…

  11. I know how many partners my husband has had. While I don’t know everything, we did grow up together but he also told me how many, and it’s truly not a lot at all. I think it is important especially if you are planning to be active. You have a right to know and definately if you are going to marry the person. Men who sleep around have ALWAYS turned me off which is why I have not dated a lot of men AT ALL. People are surprised when I say that but I am precious and so I chose carefully. I love my husband and he knows there has only been one man before him……..and I am so proud of that 🙂

  12. Is it your business to know to how many people your partner has been with in the past ? It’ s not even a question to ask you need to run a complete backround on your partner if you plan on be serious or safe…You can never be too far away from a chicken head or a repressed baby mama.In that case i suggest a razor,boxing classes and a pair of sneakers

    Would you ask?In a heartbeat but the truth for the matter is i got with my man in high school, i was a virgin he was not so before getting down and dirty i did a quick backround check and found out he was a pretty serious guy that didnt go around dippin his stick in every hole ,since we’ ve been married he always been home in time,he is always where he says he will be, i don’ t have to go trough his cellphone bill i know who he calls, when he calls, and i can do the laundry blindfolded and not be scared of missing on a lipstick stain that does not belong to me

    And if they told you, and the number was high?would it turn you off?
    If it was the case in my relationship it would be a turn off definately but it would not matter because i’ m fighter and i would turn that man around and show him the pleasure of having one and only one good woman and loving it because i’ m 15 other women by myself he would not be bored enough to feel the need to look somewhere else

    What if their name is widely known for that past?
    Who never made mistakes here? we all did as long as you fall under the category of human beign ,you did something at least once in your life that bring shame to your face when you think about it …if their name is known than that is the price to pay for beign frivole it’ s up to them to live up to that reputation or change for the better

    Do you think men and women should be weighed differently on this scale?No they should not i denonce men or women when i feel the need too I scream “beyonce put some clothes on” and i scream” usher put some clothes on” i don’ t discriminate but i think that women are judge harshly because when you really look at it a woman need to have some values because it reflects of the way her mama raised her plain and simple…when a woman missbehave the first thing that come to mind is “didnt your mama teach you any better?”

    How many is too many for a woman:15
    how many for a man:15

    And which is worse: (1) multiple partners or (2) few partners, but more adventures (swinging, three-somes, etc)
    both are pretty disgusting but i guess the unforgable will probably be a gay-has been

  13. Let me put my 2 cents in…

    Is it your business to know to how many people your partner has been with in the past ? Would you ask?

    In this day in age, yes you better be asking those questions. How many and what all have you done. With HIV/AIDS and all the other STDs that are out there, you are crazy not to ask. I do HIV testing and I can’t tell you how many times couples come in to get tested and they find out then that their partner has had many partners and have done all kinds of things (ex. Men having sex with other men, women having sex with other women, etc.) We (especially women) can not be afraid to ask those questions. And yes, I ask.

    And if they told you, and the number was high…would it turn you off? What if it’s a closed book of their past? What if their name is widely known for that past?

    For me anything past 10 is scary. When I first met my husband I was turned off at the fact that he didn’t know of many partners he had been with. I was like how could you not atleast count?? I was more comfortable in knowing once I tested him for HIV and he was negative.

    Do you think men and women should be weighed differently on this scale? How many is too many for a woman, how many for a man?

    Of course women are always looked at differently than men. Which is wrong, but it happens. I believe that it is a personal choice as to how many is too many. I think attitude has more to do with it. If you are into “use them and lose them” no matter how many it is wrong.

    And which is worse: (1) multiple partners or (2) few partners, but more adventures (swinging, three-somes, etc)

    Well if you are into swinging and three-somes, you will have multiple partners. So both can be just as bad. Although the bigger question would be would it matter if your partner has experienced these things, but always used condoms and is free from STDs, would it matter?

  14. I would ask…knowing information like the number of sexual partners and sexual habits is a “self – ful” habit all women and men should have…not saying,asking or lieing about the numbers or what you do is “selfish” and dangerous…If i ask and my instinct evern remotely suggestes that the person is lying…i would have to seriously weigh up what this person is about…and at minimum make sure we are BOTH tested before things go any further…these are not the times to be messing around for the sake of a moment of pleasure…NO ONE is that fine!!! lol

    …If they swing or what ever i would try not to pass any judgement…it’s not my thing but do yours…Safely…i wouldn’t get involved with someone that was actively still doing those things though as i said it’s not me…i might have an inner freak but would prefer to get freaky with someone i love and trust rather than someone who will have me running to the Clinic when finished! lol :0)…swinging and having a large number of multiple partners is relatively the same…both involve a form of promiscuous behaviour that would make me ask certain questions to determine wether this is the right person for me to be with/around

    …Men can be just as big a Wh*** as women..the imbalance of judgment in favour of men will take a long time to change if ever… we live in a patriarchal society so it may never happen…

    In the end we are people with our own minds and maybe more men and women need to concentrate on expanding their minds rather than the number of sexual encounters they have had…


  15. Stephanie your blog has the best questions.

    I think a person has the right to know and a duty to ask. I have a friend whose sister died from AIDs she contracted from her husband. She was only 28.

    I asked my husband when we were friends, and I immediately regreted it because when he told me, it intimidated the heck out of me. I had only been with one man (my then ex-husband) and thought I would not be able to keep my friend (now husband) interested because I was too green. I started buying movies to try to learn more in order to “impress” him. Ha! Nerdy nerdy nerdy!
    Finally I just told him I was intimidated and it worked out.

    Is it different for men and women…Yes! Is that fair? No!

    Does swinging etc. Factor in? Yes…its very dangerous out here and I know every person I sleep with, carries with him all the people he slept with…swinging multiplies that figure. I know people who swing–and I’m not judging them, some are friends. But I’m terrified of AIDS and other stds so yes, it would factor into how I viewed a man who was a potential partner.

    I do know some men who are religious about condoms…so if a person always used protection, the number of partners might be less important.

  16. Of course when you meet a man and you are getting to know each other it comes up in coversation! i know my husband and i had this conversation. i dont think we were totally honest with each other and thats fine cause i would rather leave it how it is….we know what we think we know. my mother (RIP) always said you only tell a man what you want him to know because you best believe he is only telling you what he wants you to know. and they dont need to know everything. we both had lives before we met each other. i am no angel but im not fast either!

    dont get me wrong the thought of my man sleeping with hella chics is a nasty turn off but i guess he could say the same. also how would i know what i like or be good at what i do to him if i didnt have so&so to teach me that…is another way to look at it. so let the past be the past. especially if you generally trust the mans judgement after you get to know him. but if he has what seems like skeletons just bursting up out the closet everytime you turn around then you have a problem.

    only time tells thats why ladies have to take thier time and not be fast make the men wait. i live that. WHAT REALLY DOES ASKING THIS QUESTION DO? UNLESS YOU ARE A HIGH TECH LIE DETECTOR THEY WILL TELL YOU WHAT EVER THEY WANT!

    bottom line is we all have pasts! learning from your past is what takes you thru your present!

  17. No such thing as “used” to be gay! I would def not date a man who “used” to be attracted to men or has slept with a man.

    To the topic at hand- I agree age is a factor in determining how many is too many. One of my friends is 23 and has had between 25-30 partners and that is tooooooooo many!But I also think this is too many for a male the same age. I might not like the answer my boyfriend gives me but I want to know the truth. I don’t want a man who has been with half the world. That is disgusting! I also would def have to think long and hard about a man who has a bad name.

  18. its sad when to hear that your man is sleeping around. what’s even sadder is a women who is treated badly coz she had alot of partners. whether your man was a man ho or not shouldn’t matter if you generally like him. although it will be hard to since he is so “expirenced”

  19. @ britany,

    No, I wouldn’t go out with someone who ‘used’ to be gay. There is no ‘used’ to. I just wouldn’t trust it, or him.

  20. Ladies, please be careful out there. I wouldn’t want for any of you to catch something that an aspirin can’t fix, ya know what I’m sayin’?

  21. This is an interesting one. Yes, it is my business how many partners my partner has had. Yes, I do ask. I also buy at home HIV test kits and whenever I feel it is going to get serious I try to make it a fun activity for both of us to test each other. It sounds a little paranoid but I have lost 2 immediate family members to AIDS + have 1 uncle living positively with the virus. Even if he is going to use a condom and says he uses it religiously I feel we should both get tested just in case there is a slip up.

    If the number of previous partners was high that guy would definitely be out the door. Old habits die hard, even if he claimed he was a changed guy-we would be done. If he was famous for his past I wouldn’t give him a second look.

    Men and women should be definitely be weighed the same but the reality is that we are not. Society is harsher on women. I really can’t put a number on it, for now I think you should be able to count them on 1 hand. It depends on your age and I’m pretty young. I think swinging and threesomes is the same as multiple partners. It’s all really risky behavior that he might want to explore again. If a guy ever told me he was into threesomes or had multiple partners I would ditch him right away.

  22. Yes nowadays we do have to be careful because it only takes one slip up to cost us our lives. For us men it should no longer be a badge of honor to see how many women we can conquer, for it doing so it can be very costly to say the least. It`s a very touchy subject not really knowing what approach to take in fear of offending your partner. However, not knowing is not a good thing. Then one must ask themselves is my partner really being honest, just how do you know? You really don`t. For us men in general we get so caught up in the moment that we don`t even think about protection. At that moment it`s more about satisfying our sexual desires, in other words I`ll worry about tomorrow when it gets here. That`s like playing RUSSIAN ROULETT… Society seems to frown upon monogamy but it can definitely play a major role in saving your life. Once again though how do you really know what your partner is doing?

    Women are viewed more harshly(and I must admit that I`m guilty of it myself) and it is unfair. I really can`t explain why it`s like that but we are creatures who learn from society, that doesn`t necessarily make it right in the least sense. This world contains many sexual transmitted diseases, in a sense it`s like treading through a mind field as you weave your way. The sad part is when it comes to the Aids virus itself it`s purely a manmade disease. That`s right believe it or not. The planning of this disease took its early stages between the years of 1970-1974. The National Cancer Institute & The World Health Organization formed an alliance and started working in their laboratories during the aforementioned time and begin to work on creating the disease. It was all supervised by none other than The CIA. It took place in Maryland in what was then called The U.S. Army Chemical & Biological Warfare Center. It was done under the disguise of a project called MK-NAOMI.

    The worlds` elite are the main culprits and they even influence policies of The US Government. In fact I wouldn`t be surprised if they and The Federal Reserve are one and the same. So really The President is only a FIGUREHEAD, but make no mistake Bush is indeed a DEVIL… You may ask how could one be so evil? Well the eliticist have certain goals which they want to meet.

    1. To ensure Christian values(by ridding the country of gays & homosexuals)
    2. Continue a test of chemical & biological warfare agents
    3. Get rid of third world population
    4. To depopulate the world by 2 Billion

    To inject the virus it`s done through vaccines including Hepatitus-B. The test first took place in Africa among our brothers and sisters there. Later they set up centers in the three major US cities(New York, San Francisco & Los Angeles) in which to carry out their diabolical plan. Even today The US State Department is also a tool of these eliticists. I know it sounds far fetched but we haven`t begun to understand the level to which some will go, including The US Government, to meet an end. When it comes to The US Government take a look for example at its foreign policies, including the overthrow of Governments & assassinations around the world of individuals it deemed as a threat to their interests. All this they do in our name. Anyway just Google “Is The Aids Virus Manmade” and click on the first headline, you`ll be thrown a gasp as I was.. Right now they have a cure but they`ve decided not enough people have died yet. Talk about DEVILISH…..

    In the final analysis even though it`s manmade we do have to make smart choices to try and best we can not to get caught up in this diabolical plan…

  23. I’ve been trying to go through all these questions in my head, and I keep coming to grey answers. I’m a virgin, so I suppose I have a hard time judging other people’s sexual habits when I’m not fully in touch with my own yet. Anyway, I think I’d have a right to know how many people my partner has been with. Whether or not I could judge them and tell them goodbye due to their past, I don’t know. If I met a really great guy and all was good…until he told me he’d been with 100 women in the last two or three years…I can’t even say I’d just write “done’ on his file and move on. Just doesn’t seem fair. I have a friend that is so educated, so classy, so independent. She has about 10 years on my 19, but she is. But she sleeps around a lot. However, she seems to know what she’s doing, and is very stuck on staying safe sexually (I know it sounds off). She’s a “Samantha” for those familiar with Sex and the City. Is she a whore? I can’t call her that, and I can’t see her that way.

    I don’t judge Men and Women differently. I hate that double-standard more than I can say. I think in my head it’s more about the way a person carries themselves and their sexuality more-so than how many partners they’ve been with. That lady with her thong on, skirt up,and breasts out in the middle of the club… I don’t care if she doesn’t sleep with anyone for a year, that’s whorish behavior. The guy grabbing every lady that comes in and willing to take whatever he can get that night, that’s whorish behavior.

    As for which is worse, multiple partners or strange fetishes…they’re different to me. Probably because, deep down I know I’m probably somewhat freakish myself. Not “OMG WTF” freakish, though. If a guy told me he was into threesomes, I’d have to say “what kind”. Two guys and one girl would be a little weird to me. Two girls and one guy, I could maybe see on his end. Swinging, I don’t know…how much swinging. I would think Swingers would be a bit more responsible sexually and if it was just his girl and another couple for a while, I don’t think I’d care. If it was the underground club swingers with the 50 people in one room deal…I’d have to turn my head and think for awhile.

    @ Terence: That was interesting to read. It sometimes just pricks my mind to think about how much I don’t know about what goes on around the government neighborhood. It’s scary.

  24. Interesting conversaton

    Most of the ladies say they wanna know the numbers coz of health reason… the truth is numbers have very little to do with it. We should just get aids tests coz soem ppl have only had 2 lovers and are infected, so the number should not put you at ease.

    The truth is whatever number we tell a guy will be too high if is over 3 people, so why even get into that argument. And like someone already said ppl will most likely lie.

    I dont feel i had to tell my husband how many i had been with before him. All he needed to know was my status, the number has absoulutely nothing to do with him.

    How many women do u know that lie about it all the time even to their friendz????????/

  25. Hmmm. Stimulating conversation….
    For myself, I’d say more than 5. I wouldn’t have to tell a potential mate 10 or 15, or 8, it just doesn’t sit well with me. As for him, I’d say about the same, for me it’s about respect and responsibility, as well as safety. I’d have to know that he thinks of women as more to just lay down with, and that he values sex as something more than an activity…IDK. I’m 19 and have only been with 1 person, but i have a friend that’s younger than me that has been with at least 10/11 people, and she’s too embarassed to tell guys that so she rounds down, that scares me because I know it would be just as easy for a guy to round down with me…
    As for what’s worse: multiple partners or fewer but adventurous- neither; I wouldn’t date a guy that had a high number of partners or was a swinger or any of that…I agree w/ Kanyade- those types of people have something to hide and that could be potentially dangerous

  26. Well, I’m 22 and I’m a virgin. I guess it depends on the person. To answer your questions:

    Is it your business to know to how many people your partner has been with in the past ? Would you ask? IF I PLANNED TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU, YES IT IS MY BUSINESS. I WOULD ASK.

    And if they told you, and the number was high…would it turn you off? What if it’s a closed book of their past? What if their name is widely known for that past? IT WOULD TURN ME OFF. WHY KEEP IT A SECRET? EVERYONE HAS DONE AT LEAST ONE THING THEY ARE NOT PROUD OF.

    Do you think men and women should be weighed differently on this scale? How many is too many for a woman, how many for a man? NO, BUT IT IS WHAT IT IS. MEN: MORE THAN 5/ WOMEN: MORE THAN 3

    And which is worse: (1) multiple partners or (2) few partners, but more adventures (swinging, three-somes, etc)

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