Could You Marry An Ex-Bisexual?

Over the weekend I caught the premiere of a D.C. based talk radio show (Trending with EZ WOL1450).  The show, featuring a diverse panel, discussed the topic Sexual Fluidity and all things Gay, Lesbian and Bisexuality.

One of the panelists commented that the increase in bisexuality could be attributed to an increase in people’s comfort with trying new things and exploring all of their options, which include both men and women.

I thought back to a conversation that I had with some colleagues a few years ago.  I posed this question to them, could you marry a bisexual person? Or even, someone who once experimented with the same sex?

It was interesting to discover that the majority of them, ages ranging from 24 – 48, preferred not to marry someone who once tried anything same sex related.  I wasn’t shocked that the women felt like that. Most women I know say they prefer a “man’s man” and most of them don’t consider a bisexual man to come close to that ideal.  I was, however, shocked that the guys preferred their women straight. How many times do we hear about the male fantasy of girl-on-girl or threesome action?

Surprisingly both the men and women felt that marrying someone with interest (or previous interest) in both men and women presented two issues; 1) it created a conflict with their religious beliefs and/or 2) it unconsciously created a competition with two genders; opposite and same sex.

So where do you stand?  Does it matter that your significant other may have explored their same sex before you?  Should they be honest with you about whether they did or not?

-Ashley Charisma is the author of School of Black Love. For more info on Ashley Charisma and the novel visit

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  1. I would never date a woman I knew had been with other women. I don’t find it sexy at all. As a matter of fact it is a huge turn off. I don’t like experimentation.I want a woman who knows who she wants in her bed.

  2. The answer is no and yeah, I like my man to be a real man and real men don’t have sex with other men.

  3. In my heart, I can forgive anyone. But I understand the nature of mankind and how we can lie to ourselves (and God) and go back on our word and succumb to temptation, etc.

    Long answer: Sure, I could consider it…

    Short answer: NO!

    😐 Just being real.

  4. I dont knock anyone’s sexual preference, yet I would never date a man who is bi. I want a 100% real man. Any man who likes the samething I do has a little bitch in him. Which would make him to soft or moody to handle a real women like me. I cant imagine being out with him and he checking out men while with me. Or is yearning for the same feelings that I like to feel in bed.

  5. No way…I would be too paranoid thinking about if he is thinking about another man

  6. I find all of these posts blatantly absurd and ignorant. I am no less of a man because I prefer men and the idea that people still think this way is completely ludicrous. There was once a time when women who worked or wore pants weren’t real women and now I guarantee that any of you presented with a similar view would be sorely offended. This is what this post does to me. Regardless of your religious beliefs, WHO are YOU to tell someone else what THEIR gender is. Complete idiocy and claim to be able to know what, as you christians seem to believe, GOD thinks is okay is presumptuous and contradictory to your own ideology.

  7. @gaymalewithaclue…As a christian I speak for myself when I say that it is not the gay that I am against but the sin. God did not create men to sleep with other men. He created man to fill the earth and how can a man do that with another man. MAN is suppose to be the leader, the head, the authority..and now man have allowed their selfish sexual desire lead them into sin..which is what God hates (the sin) not the gay men or women… It aint cool being gay and you need to seek God and ask Him what He has to say about it. Just because so many people are gay does not make it right…and somewhere in your mind you know that it isn’t just want to convince yourself that it is okay so you won’t hate yourself..God created us with sensors and we can sense when we are doing something wrong and against His will for us.

  8. This post is going to go some where it does not need to go!!!

    People can’t just answer the question period it turns into some judgemental bullsh!t.

    My answer to the question is NO. Period Point blank!

  9. I don’t want any man that is not sure exactly who want or what he wants to be. I want a man who knows he is a man and there is no confusion nor doubt whatsoever.

  10. Marry? No. At the very least, I want someone who is absolutely sure that he wants a woman.

  11. Absolutely not. I am straight I want a straight man only.

  12. I DONT THINK I COULD GO W/ SOMEONE WHO WAS BISEXUAL….. THAT REASON BECAUSE EVEN IF THEY SAY THAT THEY ARE WITH YOU AND YOU ARE A FEMALE DEEP DOWN INSIDE HIS HEART HE KNOW THAT HE STILL GOT SOME KIND OF SPARK OF FEELINGS FOR ANOTHER MALE….. you cant exactly lose the feelings or the past but, also if you really like him and want to be with him just look at how long ago that was he was with another male if it was 10-20 years ago let it go…… & GET YOUR MAN!!!!!!!! 🙂

  13. @rainjane, you are an idiot. You are purely and deeply stupid. There is no sensor that tells me I’m wrong. Also, I am an atheist but of course that has me even more in sin. I don’t hate myself. I have no secret self-deprecating thoughts. You are disgusting. In the words of so many like you “Go to H*ll”.

  14. @Rainjane. Part of the fallacy of christianity is that you so many of you claim to know what your god, all powerful and mysterious, feels, knows, and sees. You must be very audacious to assume you know what god

  15. No, I wouldn’t marry a man who’d been with another man in any sexual capacity.

    On the other hand, my husband had no problem marrying me and I’ve been with women.

    I have no problem with the double standard being in my favor. AT ALL.

  16. Is this really a question? HEll! to the no–and by the way I’m a women.


  18. I don’t really know how to comment. I don’t feel it is fair to write someone off because of there past. I can understand if the person is currently engaged in that life style. But even that is a grey area. But I’ll stick to the past. But maybe because this post is personal to me. This is a touchy subject. If I express myself I know I will open up myself for ridicule. In the past I experimented with same sex. But I have come to a place were I no longer desire those things. I long for a wife and family. And there is a lot of shame that comes into a relationship when you tell your gf your past in an effort to be honest. Then to be told your less of a man. Everyone feels they have the need to label you. According to there feelings. And decide who you are. I’m tired of it. I know who I am. And my desires. I think if you mistrust someone because of there sexual past. Especially if they are being honest. Then to some degree it’s a you issue. Personally it’s not something I desire anymore. Sorry for the ramble. It’s not something I speak about often. I’m just saying we should be more excepting. And not label people.

  19. I consider myself to be straight. In the past I know I wasn’t living a straight lifestyle. But my desires have changed. And for me it is a positive. I do feel sometimes people make it a hard place to be. One side tries to convince me I am lying to myself. While the other reviles me with disgust. Both sides define me and argue with me. But I know who I am and what my desires are. I have also been celibate for 3 years. I am very loyal and work every day to be a better person. My past does not define me. Okay sorry ill get off my soap box. Thanks for reading.

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