Comments on: Dear Ask Y and X

By: Angel Cakes

Angel Cakes — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 21:04:34 +0000

I have a cousin in a similar situation. The difference is she is 35 and the dude she is dating is 23. She has 3 kids and he has a live in girlfriend who is 26. The situation is even more disturbing because they only have been dating for almost 3 weeks and he’s been staying with her for the past 2 and a half weeks. His live-in girlfriend been asking around to see where her boyfriend is. I just couldn’t believe my ears because she has young children in the house (3 year old boy, 8 year old girl and a 17 year old girl). This situation is disgusting to me because this is my big cuz and I always looked up to her, but the past couple of years she has mad some crazy *** decisions with the selection of guys. What do yaw think about this situation. I can’t believe my cousin is playing herself like that. It just sounds DESPERATE!

By: KIM

KIM — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 17:58:00 +0000

wow….ask yourself wat if you were the girlfriend…! Would you want your man to be hanging out 4 to 5 times a week with some other female. Not only is he disrespecting his girlfriend you are disrespecting his girlfriend!!! Seems to me you are being a bit selfish…find a man…OF YOUR OWN SIS…a single one…its sisters like you wreck good relationships.

By: Deidra

Deidra — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 19:40:24 +0000

Please consider that you and this man had a friendship where you enjoyed each other’s company and conversation. He didn’t mislead you. Your post is clear that he was honest with you. Your romantic feelings simply aren’t mutual. Contrary to popular belief, men and women can be “just friends.” I have several male friends that I hang out with regularly…you know why? Because I’m not attracted to them — that makes platonic friendships quite easy. Healthy women know that even an attractive, intelligent, fun woman isn’t every man’s cup of tea. But you certainly will dazzle some other man. Your former friend has asked you to move on, which shows integrity on his part. Unless you think he OWES you his love (which means you have deeper issues than you revealed in your letter), move on.

By: Smooth Thug

Smooth Thug — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 15:45:33 +0000

OK, y’all. I’ve discussed the lady involved in this mess. Let me now deal with the gentleman, and I use the term “gentleman” very, very loosely!
I think this: to put it plain and very simple, I think he was setting this lady up to turn her into his “booty call”. Why else would he go along with secret get togethers at the park and at other locations? Why else would he let this lady know where he lives just to have her show up at his place unannounced? I though this was supposed to be only a casual friendship. And where is the girlfriend in all of this? If this guy had good intensions in his heart, why didn’t he introduce the girlfriend to this lady? The only thing he did was mention his girlfriend. To me, that’s not quite the same. Because he never properly introduced the girlfriend to this lady, it is safe to assume that behind his girlfriend’s back, he was runnin’-n-hidin’-n-slippin’-n-slidin’. And as one poster put it, and I agree, cheating doesn’t always have to necessarily involve sex. Cheating can also mean lying and/or holding secrets from the other party in a relationship. What do all y’all in the house think? Amen?

By: Red

Red — Sun, 31 Aug 2008 22:30:52 +0000

Im sorry, but you were wrong for stopping by his house unannounced, knowing that he had a girlfriend. You cant say, u saw another car there and thought nothing of it. You knew there was a chance that was his girlfriends car. You are too old to be doing stuff like that and if he did that to you, you wouldnt have liked it either. If you was cheating on his girlfriend spending that much time with you, he would do the same thing to you if you were together, believe me b/c a man like that doesnt change. You need to be strong and realize that you are worth more than that and that you dont deserve to be treated like that. I know a good black man is scarce these days, but u need to work on being ok by yourself. Its not worth it to go thru all that just to have a man. You have kids to worry about. Forget about him. Its gonna be hard and you will miss him like crazy but eventually, you will get over it, it just takes alot of time. Just keep telling yourself, if it dont kill u, it will make you stronger.