Your partner clubs or hangs out frequently with his/her friend; and sometimes carries late hours. The friend is constantly asking your partner to go out but your never invited. This friend is always giving bad relationship advice. When you approach your partner about their behavior it causes arguments. But your partners friend is single, so could this be what the issue is. Can your partner having a single friend have an influence on your relationship?
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Unfortunately, young couples mostly, haven’t learned to put each other first when it come to relationships. This is why I think it is best that married couples hang with those like themselves. Of course single folk will have different priorities than married folks and if they are still silly and childish, they will try and force those priorities on their married friends. Both men and women have to learn hgow to put their relationship with each other first and with their freinds second.
A single friend CANNOT influence a relationship unless u LET them do it. I am single & I have many married friends & one thing I know is that I cannot control the way their relationships go down. And believe me I see some foul stuff happening in SOME of their relationships, but I keep my mouth shut… unless they ask for my thoughts. I do give them my honest opinion, but I ALWAYS let them know that is what I would do & that what works for me may NOT work for them. .. so they need to figure out what does.
Also I give them the time they need w/ their spouse, like if I am on the phone w/ them & their mate comes home, I will end the call w/ them b/c I know that it is THEIR time. The time that a wife needs to be w/ her husband. My married friends get the picture that I am single & that unlike them I have NO responsiblities to a relationship. I will go & come as I please, so for that reason, when I know that I am going to do things are go to places that may interfere w/ their relationship.. I don’t ask them to go. I get another single friend to go w/me. It is about the respect factor that they have in their relationship & I would NEVER want to ruin that… so I know when to keep my distance & when to come around.
I think that its not a fact of a friend being SINGLE as it is them being a geniune friend. Real friends do not intefere in their friends relationships in the negative. And i will admit that i have had to check and sometimes even dismiss some of my n***s aint ish havin mentality gurl friends. If a friend male or female is hindering ur relationship it is time to have a serious talk with that friend and with urself about how important said friend is to u. Could u live without hittin the club up with this person every weekend? U got to find out where ur priorities lie. And honestly if u are in a serious committed relationship a lot of ur lifestyle changes. If u live with ur partner if ur MARRIED there are certain things and people you leave behind when u come into that next phase of ur life. If u can come to ur friend and they respect ur view and ur relationship single or not u should still be able to maintain a relationship with them. If not…then keep it movin. And if u cant see urself without ur gurl that u go out and drink wit till two in the morn then maybe u need to reevaluate if ur really ready for a serious relationship. There’s a balance and there’s sacrifice and honestly it takes a really strong relationship to withstand the curse of the badmouth friend. Word of advice find cool nice positive people that are on the same level of maturity (which is usually the issue more than just status) and that might mean looking for other married couples or committed couples to hang with. Jus sayin…it aint a good look to be out with the “boys” or kickin it wit ur gurls…once u have a wife or husband. (all the time)
Peace
A single friend CAN have an influence. Now, the partner should have their own mind. My husband has always has his own mind and never been easily influenced (we known each other since grade school). He knows how I feel about things like this. Now we do not go to clubs b/c its just not our thing. We may go to a poetry spot or to lounges but that’s it. There are times when he hangs with some of his single friends at the movies, bowling out to eat etc. But he knows we have boundaries b/c there ARE some single friends who don’t have your best interest at heart. I can’t MAKE my husband stop hanging with them but I will let him know if I don’t trust a friend or something.
I think it is good to have friend in all diffrent step in there lives. You can’t just drop your freind b/c they are not married.
Sometimes singles can remind you not to get struck in a rut or the new this or that….Like a breathe of fresh air.
However, i think if you are having problems in your marriage i think it may be good to run it by older married folks simply becuase they have been there done that.
I trust my husband and he trust me so if he goes to the sport bar or whatever with his single boys i’m fine with that..on the other hand if he cames in the house talking about i’m going to the strip club with his single freinds he can expect to get that head cracked to the white meat as bernie mack would say:)
i think a friend can very much influence a relationship. Why do u think men hate for us to hang out with our single girlfriends? they think we are going to want to do what their doing (flirt, grind on dudes at the club, take their number etc..) but i think if u are really confident and secure in your relationship that type of stuff shouldn’t matter. I just got married on Aug 16, and my husband used to have the same problem when i went out with my friends, it wasn’t that he didn’t like them, he just knew they were single and a little wild at times and he was scared i was gonna try to follow their lead, but i’m my own person, and no one can make me act in a way that i think is inappropriate for a woman in serious relationship.so bottom line yes friends can influence your relationship….if u let them
Some people are insecure about their mate hanging out with single friends but I think it’s all about the matuirty level of that individual…If you’re happy with your significant other you won’t allow outsiders to think for you or influence your relationship..And it also depends on what type of single friends you have as well, but I do believe it’s possible to have single friends and be in a relationship.
@internet mkting
I agree… what many of you are saying, the not clubbing, partying, & etc, is NOT just b/c u are married or in a serious relationship… it’s b/c u have turned down a new road in your lives. I myself am a single I am not really into the club scene or the party, but that doesn’t mean that I won’t stop @ the places a time or 2 lol. However, it does not control my every step pf being a single gal. Of course, those things never really controlled my path while I was younger lol. Yes I would go out… but I tell ya I wasn’t hittin the clubs 24/7. The point is whether you are married or not, hopefully, you will grow. Which means the things that you used to do, you just don’t do anymore. This point needs to be reached BEFORE you meet the guy & say I do. Those things that many of you described happened for more reasons than jumping the broom… you just phased out of that place in your lives.
P.S. Since it seems that I am the only “single” thus far commented on the topic lol… remember ladies, that there are a lot of “singles”, whether male or female, who are NOT just the partyers & clubbers, many of us like to chill just like you & your mates. We like our peace & quiet the same & you won’t find us in your relatinship business. We have just decided to be by ourselves for the moment or we haven’t found the “right” one for US. So PLEASE don’t think that ALL of us want to bring your marriages down… in other words don’t make us public enemy #1 ; -) .
WOW!!!! DID anyone see that Michelle Obama speech last nite. That was great history in the making. I thought she was awesome.
Two things.
1. It depends on how tight the relationship is
2. It depend on the maturity level of the relationship.
I agree with Liyah. Single friends will try to overstep boundaries if you let them. It think its just the human nature of jealousy, admiration, and envy. I’m married and I’ve had single girlfriends spread some serious hate. Not because they don’t want you to be happy; but because they believe they’ll never be happy or they believe you’re luckier than them.
So yes! Single friends can be jealous and envious as hell. In my situation my husband is my best friend so some of my single friends just get bored with me cause I’m close with the hubby. As for my husband he has like one or two really good friends and they can hang out and do whatever cause I trust him. But single guy friends get jealous as well.
Good Question.
I don’t mix my girlfriends with my Man PERIOD !!
It all depends on how strong the relationship is. Friends will always have an opinion about your relationship. The most idealistic relationship is what everyone wants, and searching for the right one may take a life time. So of course some friends will feel a certain way, because they have not found the right one yet. A strong relationship is very exclusive and can not be duplicated so that is where the jealousy come in. If you have a good honest relationship and you trust each other, no one can tell you anything that you already don’t know about the one you love. Real friends would be happy for you no matter what, because that is what real friends do.
Anyone can influence a weak minded person. If you are a strong and confident individual and you label someone a “friend” then you should be able to listen to their opinions (single, married, gay, straight, whoever “friend”) and still be able to make your own decisions at the end of the day. What if you break up, fight, have an argument, etc. you’re gonna blame your “single friend”? That’s silly and immature.
I agree with the first post, I think that a friend can only influence you as much as you let them. If you are strong in your relationship, then it doesn’t matter what your friends do. I am married, and I have a single best friend who I am very close to. But she does not bad mouth my relationship nor does she try to get me to do things that would ruin my marriage. Yes, her lifestyle, may be slightly different from mine, but at them same time, I am secure in my relationship.
It’s all about who your “friends” are. If they are the type of friend to break up a relationship or cause friction in one, that is not a true friend. True friends would not cause an issue in your relationship and you wouldn’t have to feel guilty or pressured to hang out with them. Having single friends do not influence the relationship, you have to make up your own mind about whether or not I am going to hang out all hours of the night or make sure I am at home at a decent hour.
No one can make you do something you don’t want to or influence you in any way if it’s not already in your spirit.
Some of us just love to place blame (this is not directed to anyone in particular).
I dont know .But when you have a wife who has issues looking after her kids and is always pushing them onto you .ANd at the first instant of a long weekend takes to hang with her freinds
I think she has a problem or is trying to pull a fast one .Feel like she is delegating her kids to babysitter