Does Gaining Weight Affect A Relationship?

We all would like our mates to stay the same through out the relationship as the first day we met. Sometimes it just doesn’t happen.

At what pound is too much to handle? Why not after maybe 10 to 15 pounds weight gain a conversation takes place in a nice considerate manner because we don’t just wake up one morning 30 pounds heavier. How about offering to exercise together. I know the women may be a little sensitive about the weight subject, especially if after having kids. But I think the person would appreciate it better if there was a plan to handle the task together rather than insulting remarks or going out to cheat. Running away from the issue never solves anything; try resolving the issue first before it gets out of control. Again, communication is golden.

Tell me your story, have you had this battle with weight gain. Is it okay to gain weight in the relationship?

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26 Comments

  1. Amber,I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to GEICO

    Is the person let’s it… i think?

  2. Definitely! Gaining weight can take a toll on a relationship-

    If a person begins gaining wieght and not paying attn to their health, they aren’t caring very much about themselves and it’s only a matter of time before the issues they have are taken out on others. If you don’t care for yourself… how ever can you care for another?

    Just because a person has been in a relationship for a while and both ppl have even confessed their love for each other, it’s not right to “let yourself go” just because you think/believe this person will stick around. No one is obligated to stay with anyone, esp. if you don’t love yourself another remain/get healthy or stay in shape. And it shows disrespect for the person your’e in the relationship with. It’s like saying, “Well, I got him/her so I can put on 15 lbs for reason at all and they’ll stay with me.” NO! We have to consider, “What if he/she was to put on unhealthy weight?”, “What if he/she begin lacking on the hygiene tip?”… if you wouldn’t like it or if you’d mind it… don’t expect someone else to and if you WOULDN’T mind, it boils down to ech person caring enough not only for themselves but for one another to keep it ‘tight’. 😉

  3. It can be a negative or a positive factor. In my case it is positive. I am pretty tall so I wear it well. But while my husband and I were dating I gained weight b/c after high school I stopped running track. But he loved it I haven’t knocked ALL of it off but he still loves it. My weight fluctuates b/c some days I work out harder than others and as a result he’ll say to me “Hey, you looking kind slim, where you going”. LOL!!! 🙂

  4. Ummm as long as ur not desrespectful about the situation it should be fine. There’s this notion that after marriage youve hooked so no need to worry right? WRONG! If u were a fine dime who worked out then why let urself go now. But at the same time a man should love his woman because he loves her not because she can still fit into her size six jeans. My moms weight has been up and down for years given the medication she takes for her diabetes but my dad is always going on and on about how beautiful she is. That’s the kind of thing that keeps marriages together. We live in a very superficial country we’re being beautiful and thin is seen as the ultimate prize instead of being truly happy and comfortable with oneself being the goal. But as i said if ur man or woman wants to say something about it do so with kid gloves. If someone is uncomfortable with their weight the last thing u should do is aggrevate that insecurity with comments like dang u put on a few or my personal favorite pinching ur lover’s fat roll like where did this come from? Marriage and relationsips are about communication, so whatever the problem let it out in the air cuz runnin from it solves nothing and the problem will only get bigger. No pun in tended 🙂
    Peace yall

  5. *i hate makin mistakes while writing but its an inevitability… it’s hooked HIM in the second sentence…i need to stop being quick with the submit button
    Out

  6. Gaining weight affects all relationships. Money, Intimate, and Your relationship with yourself.

  7. Any drastic weight gain, especially before old age (50+) is going to affect a relationship. We tend to gain a few pounds as we age but gaining 20 or so pounds in the early stages of a relationship or at a relatively young age, will cause problems for your mate.

  8. I had a boyfriend tell me that he wanted me to lose weight, but what he didn’t realize is that I was taking BC pills and it was causing me to gain weight. I should have told him to use condoms and I won’t gain weight! 🙂 Needless to say we are not together anymore!

    Gaining a few pounds is not bad as long as you are not being unhealthy and sloppy with it. It’s ok to suggest ways to lose weight, but it should be the both of you, not just one person exercising.

  9. I was in a relationship off and on for 8 years during which I gained about 40 pounds. Part of it was because of medication and the other part was pure laziness. He started to not want to go anywhere with me and leaving me at home. It would have been easier for me to handle if he would have talked to me about it or offered to work out together. Needless to say after the breakup numerous people came to me and told me they were glad we broke up because he was cheating on me alot. I certainly don’t blame him for my gaining weight, I just questioned his loyalty. We were friends for years before we got together and he should have respected me enough to talk to me about it.

  10. I think it CAN but it SHOULDN”T. We gain weight as we get older, hopefully we are with a partner who is focused on other things.

  11. It may be a shallow mindset to have, but I think a major weight change is a big deal in a relationship. If it’s been five years and one of you has gained a few pounds, I don’t think it should be a big deal. If you’re married and truly love each other, it shouldn’t be a big deal. If he looked like The Rock when I met him, and now he’s Tubby or Skinny a year later, I believe there’s a cause for concern.

  12. It is not shallow for someone to like the way you look and if someone falls in love with you a certain way then how can you hold it against them that now your 20 pounds overweight and he’s not happy. It is naive to say that someone should just accept you because you gained weight. They fell in love with you for the person you were when they met you. That said, it is the responsibility of the mate to not only advise you of the issue but to also be your partner in resolving it as you do any other relationship issue.

  13. It works both ways. Gaining too much weight and loosing too much weight can definitely put a strain on relationship.

  14. Gaining weight can affect the relationship. But, I think depending on how strong the relationship is will determine if it is affected in a good or bad way.

  15. yes it does ! as a black man i have made it clear over and over again that i`m not interested in overweight women, so if my girl gains weight, i will tell her to lose it, well if she gives that “i`m big and beautiful crap“ then i`m out the door !

  16. i think that loosing weight is also a big issue. The same way he can leave you becouse you´ve got to big, he can also leave you becouse you´ve got too skinny. Thats what a friend of mine happened.

  17. @Oliver please go and get a white woman so that we can have one less idiot too worry about. If you would leave a person you supposedly care about for a few pounds then it is probably good riddance for her. What if you have children are you just going to say I’m out. What if you have property or have built a life together. Grow up silly boy.

  18. It’s natural to gain & lose weight. However the problem comes in when the person starts to become morbidly obese which could become unhealthy. I don’t think that the sole concentration should be on the dress or pants size, I think that along w/ the weight being healthy should also be a factor. How much u weigh is NOT always a indicator of how healthy your insides are. If you think that your spouse is becoming a dangerous weight/size you should address it nicely & lovingly w/ your loved one. However, the person’s HEALTH should be the main concern.

  19. I’m 44 and have been married to my husband for 21 years. When we got married we had 1 child and I weighed 137. We now have 4 kids and the last child I had 7 years ago. I ended up weighing 210. I was about to turn 40 and I saw a picture of my self and couldn’t believe it was me!!! It took me 4 and 1/2 years to get down to 185. I still have 20 more lbs to go. My husband has never told me to lose weight or he’s not attracted to be because of my weight. I felt like I had stop liking me and what I saw in the mirror did not help. Luckily for me our relationship was strong so the weight was not an issue for him but it was for me and I did something about it.

  20. @ Oliver

    There is nothing wrong with having a preference for weight but shame on you for the way you want to handle it. There’s nothing wrong with your woman trying to deal with her new look by embracing it either. But if you dont like it and truly care about her then you will help her lose it and not just say this is your problem now fix it. I recently had a cousin divorce her husband after 20 something years because she gained weight after having children and for the rest of the marriage he made her and their overweight child to feel unaccepted and made crude remarks toward his own family instead of embracing them and helping them fix it. To me, that is not the way to handle it. Now my cousin is with someone who respects and accepts her and she has lost a great deal of the weight. See how that worked out for her new man?

  21. Recently, I was snooping through my husband”s files on my computer and stumble across a few documents…It turns out my husband keeps a diary in his files(dont ask me why lol). I read a few pages and he mentionned my weight gain. He wrote about how I let my self go, and how he wasnt sexually attracted to my body in bed. He went on to mention that i had a gorgeous face and he had to touch and feel my body in the dark to be turned on.
    I was really surprised but very understanding as I diid gained a lot of weight(about 20pounds). I didnt notice that it affected our relationship as he always want to have sex so I figure he was still attracted to me. Anyways, I will not mention my snooping around but i will definately do something about. I’ve decided to work out again and to wacth what I eat. I use my pics from last summer for motivation. I’m only 26 so I cant allowed this weight issue be a burden on my marriage. Not now, not ever!

  22. I agree with Oliver, Men do not want a woman that is overweight unless he met her that way. And furthermore; being overwieght is unhealthy and lets face it, not attractive. Thats just my opinion.

  23. Love isn’t ‘skin deep’ – people shouldn’t be so shallow.

  24. I think that real love does not have a weight or color than again if someone does not love you they would not care about your health i guess what i’ m trying to say is that if you partner is concerned about your weight after many years together than maybe he is justnot loving who is inside of you

  25. I’m a tall girl and my husband is tall as well. So we can kind of hide a pound here or thereWe always gain about 5-10 pound over the winter it never fails, i guess from all that snuggling and eating. but as march rolls around we are in the shower and i pinch his side and he pinches mine and we just laugh..and we break out of Px-90 tapes and tea-bo and get it moving. Mostly the weight comes from stress and plain laziness. It is kind of understanding. I do not want nor am i attracted to a man with a big old stomach like he is pregnant and he is not attracted to cottage cheese on the legs.
    We are both health nut. we slip sometimes but maintain our bodies together. And the sex is always better, longer and more wildddd when we are excerising. Since i’m trying for a baby I want to keep that going so i defeintly will have that snapback like mom did.I got good stock mom is 52 and she still is a perfect size after two kids.

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