The body is not an apology. Or an excuse. Or a mistake. I really had to stop saying sorry for not having a perfect body. Call me crazy, but I’ve grown to find so much beauty in my imperfections.
Wow. My body is not an apology. My body is not an excuse. My body is not a mistake. Why have so many of us women been conditioned to think otherwise?
I’ll use myself as an example:
I don’t have a womanly figure because I don’t have wide hips. Apology.
I’m skinny because my mother was slim at my age. Excuse.
Big butts run in my family, but it skipped me. Mistake.
Why do women feel the need to explain themselves, how they look and how they’re built? Or say sorry to not having this “perfect shape?” We try to justify our seemingly imperfections even though we know not one person walking on this earth is perfect.
A friend and I talked about this subject once and we concluded, for most women, the thing that changed everything for us was boys. The day we, then as girls, got to a maturity and puberty level where the opposite sex became attractive to us, where they started to matter, is one of the worst days in a young girl’s life. Okay, okay, cutting the dramatics, it truly is an influential day or time because, in a sense, that’s when your innocence leaves.
Gone are the days of just being yourself. Now you need to be who they want you to be. You have to fix your hair this way, wear this shirt, laugh that way and all other kinds of nonsense to put on a show to be noticed by a boy. Of course, girls don’t have to do any of this, but tell me one who, at that age, never did?
I see so many young women and girls today who are still putting on a show trying to get the attention of some male. So many listen to what “guys like” or what “guys want,” as well as what the media pushes about standards of beauty, and in turn they start to apologize and make excuses for not living up to others’ standards.
It’s a vicious cycle, ladies, and we have to stop it. Like my friend, I hope we can all begin to find the beauty within our “imperfections” and teach the younger generations of women how to do the same.
My body is not an apology, excuse or mistake. I am skinny and my butt is far from big. My nose is wide, I have oily skin and multiple blemishes that just won’t seem to fade no matter what cream I rub on them. My hair is thick and kinky and my breasts are a part of the itty-bitty committee. I am not perfect. But I am me, exactly the way God envisioned.
Service is her passion, writing is her platform, women and the Black Community are her avenues. Shala Marks is a writer, editor and soon-to-be author. Marks aspires to help make a difference in society through the messages in her writings. She has a B.A. in journalism from Arizona State University. Check her out at: