35 Comments

  1. Welcome to Brown Sista Lady J.

    First let me say that I have enjoyed both of your articles immensely and look forward to many more great features from you in the coming weeks.

    Second, it is about time something like said was said to the black community. Homophobia is something that is openly tolerated among black people because we think it is being godly to be godless towards people whose lifestyle we may not agree with.

    I am not saying blacks should all of sudden start accepting homosexuality as normal if they do not think it is. Rather, they should not tolerate or participate in any behavior that infringes upon the rights of others.

  2. I think gay people are overly sensitive. They can criticize anything and everything concerning fashion. Most of the critics are gay or just gay people I know personally think they can say anything they want to say about anyone and should be tolerated.

    Where is all this protest when black women are constantly disrespected in some shape form or fashion everyday in music, videos, or by comedians. Where is the outrage in that.

    I think gay people should get over themselves. You say you wanted to be treated like everyone else well this is apart of everyone else.

  3. I’ve enjoyed both of your articles. They make me think of all sides of an issue and always bring up different perspectives I find interesting and fresh. Thanks!

  4. I’m with (MercifulLove) Hate the sin not the sinner! The Lord Jesus Christ doesnt approve, and I follow him and his teachings so I don’t agree with it either, but I would never show hate towards someone! Jesus wouldn’t either! Everyone has their own opnion! People don’t have to agree with the homosexual lifestyle and I don’t but I don’t mistreat people thats wrong!

  5. @bria I totally agree with you on everything you said! Noone defends black women or blks period! There is still so much prejudice in alot of other things besides gays! Our black men being abused by the system! Also all these hate crimes done against people and their race! Being shot, hung dragged and raped!

  6. To Wizay, thank you so much for your great comments and support! I will continue to do my best at producing provocative, thoughtful, and progressive writings.

    To Merciful Love, thank you for your comment, although I would like you to please elaborate more.

    To JRB, I truly appreciate your comment and thank you very much for reading both articles! Your comment is open and thoughtful, which means so much to me!

    To Bria, it is truly unfortunate that you hold the feelings and thoughts that you do, but you have essentially proven my case/argument about people’s entitlement imprisioning them and how they oppress others.

    Your comment, “You think gay people are overly sensitive” is deplorable and it was not that long ago [and even now] that White people/European-Americans say that about African-Americans and other groups of color. Men as well hold the same sentiments about “women being overly sensitive” when we want and fight for what ANYONE deserves…..and that’s freedom to simply be who you are and enjoy your GOD GIVEN RIGHTS!

    It is incredibly important that you READ OVER the article AGAIN to understand the deeper meaning of it and look inside of yourself to emancipate the oppression and mis-education from within. If you don’t emancipate yourself, you will continue to oppress others and be oppressed at the same time! Free yourself!

  7. Hi Lady J
    I’m really confused about the hatred toward Gay peoples, From the overly hypocrite religious people, down to the Down low politicians, I don’t understand. Why is it my problem that two individuals want to be together? why should i protest and march against two people because they claim to love each other? I think this country is full of unhappy people waiting for opportunities to display their hatred , and it’s pathetic. Tracy Morgan’s opinion is that of many Black people, some even in my inner circle, but no one has been able to formulate a valid argument against Gay oppression, Idk J.
    I vote hell yes on Gay rights, people have got to let them live their lives as they intend, Not to long ago it was the color of your skin that would determine how you would be treated don’t forget that Mr Morgan.

  8. To Shontelle…..sista, thank you so, so much for your powerful and absolutely loving and activist comments! It is truly wonderful to see that there is another person on this planet that can look beyond the universal prejudices and stereotypes of other groups of people and advocate for TRUE HUMANITY!

    I completely agree with your statement about the gross and egregious hypocrisy among those that consider themselves to be “christian” and religious individuals, but essentially use religion as an excuse to justify their own venomous hatred and mis-education! I truly thank you so, so much for voicing your TRUE humanity and love for everyone!

  9. What about my argument oppressed anyone. I said I am and still am sick of all this attention gay people get if someone says one little joke. How are they oppressed. They seem to get the best jobs make the most money etc, etc…Stop making stuff up. The reality of it is they run Hollywood right now and that is why every picture or sitcom just about has a to have some sort of gay them. We can barely get black family shows on and there are about three sitcoms with same sex couples with children.

    I don’t feel that because I have an opinion that I am surpresses anyone. To be surpressed means that you can’t get credit because you are black or you can’t buy a house or get a job because you are a woman. That basically everything of success you are barred from that is oppression. Not someone makeing a joke about you no matter how tasteless and cruel the joke may be.

  10. @Bria:
    One of Lady J’s primary points is that the oppression of one — anyone for any reason — is the oppression of all. And the flip side of that is that fighting for one person or one group’s rights is part of the fight for true equality — for EVERYONE.

    I’m disturbed by your comments because they suggest anger toward the LGBT community, that they are somehow in part to blame for the lack of attention, respect, and equal treatment afforded to black women. But I would argue that any movement gay culture has made into the mainstream (which you have vastly overstated) is a huge victory for all minority groups in this country.

    The LGBT community in the US and around the world is discriminated against, abused, and treated as second-class citizens. Queer and questioning children and teens are publicly bullied and berated. Our government is actively fighting to deny gay couples the right to marry, to keep them out of the military. A very large portion of this country believes we should institute government-sanctioned discrimination policies against gays.

    We still have a very long way to go for equality for women, for the poor,for racial, ethnic, and religious minorities. No one here has said otherwise. But to contend that the LGBT community ‘needs to get over themselves’ is short-sighted, wrong-headed, dangerous, and downright ignorant.

  11. Sister Jess, let me say that I am completely moved by your compelling comment and THANK YOU for deconstructing the central point(s) that my articles makes. If readers would again, GO BACK AND READ the article, they’d understand that it doesn’t ONLY speak to the oppression of the LGBT community, but about the manner in which everyone is entitled in some way and due to unearned privileges, we abuse others in the process, which Bria and others have CLEARLY PROVEN!!!

    After reading the last comment from poor sister Bria and those others that have joined her witch hunt and Klan movement, I simply had to say silent prayers and put forth positive energy to the universe that the heavy veil of hatred, tyranny, ignorance, and mis-education would be removed from them.

    I truly thank you again for your powerful voice and human-centered soul!

  12. The truth of the matter, is that even tho it is tolerated homosexuality is still not accepted in this society or many others for that matter. I personally could care less what 1 chooses to do when it comes to sexual preference. I would rather the person be HONEST & TRUTHFUL about what or whom they like, than to be some lying coniving downlow individual. But nevertheless people will never truly be ok with the idea of homesexuality b/c most are strong in their faith & religous beliefs that are usually against it. However, I feel that even tho you may not agree w/ it that does not give you the right to harm/hurt or degrade anyone w/ your words. Because if you do that, YOU also go against the teaching of the word.. thou shalt not kill & love thy neighbor.

  13. @Jess everyone’s fight is not my fight. The gay fight is not my fight. I am sick and tired of them comparing themselves to the civil rights movement. No one is treating them like not just less than a citizen but like less than human. This is not my fight and I will not take up arms and fight it with them.

    Like I said when I see them at the rallies for people who are being oppressed from finding jobs and moving forward in life because they have something on their records or any of the other things I mentioned then I will worry and be concerned about this. I don’t wish harm on anyone and i will pray for their soul but this is not my fight.

  14. I think there will always be a group of people who, for the purposes of making themselves feel better, will always have someone they look down upon.

    If suddenly all gay people were made straight (ha!) they would find someone else to oppress. It is just the way it goes.

    Tracy Morgan is a misogynist and a homophobe and he has not been funny in a very long time.

  15. @Jess, Sister, I understand what you are talking about and I wish people would be a little less quick to send you to the “Hate Club” because you voiced some real frustration.

    As someone who has worked with some “oppressed” groups I find that the black woman is considered LAST when dealing with issues. Even amongst feminist circles!

    I think the way I have understood Jess’ argument is that the gay community asks us to stand with them to fight for their rights, but when it comes to ours they are ghost and that has been my experience as well.

    Can you imagine what would happen if ALL people, gay, straight, black, white, man woman, stood together to condemn the church that is putting up the billboards about black abortions? The fight was left to us and a few of our supporters…

    I support the gay community, but I sure would like it if when it came to issues that pertained to my being a black woman seeking justice and equality, they would stand beside me as well. (The former is not contingent on the latter!)

  16. @Bria
    “How are they oppressed. They seem to get the best jobs make the most money etc, etc”

    How does that equal happiness sister? That’s the problem nowadays, people think money and status should be enough for someone to feel elevated, but clearly it isn’t enough, all I’m saying is, i would hate it, if i was beaten, insulted and demonstrated against because someone does not agree with my lifestyle, It is unfair.

    @Lady J
    and Thank you for shedding the light on this issues, most of “Our ” blogs always try to sweep this under the rug, or afraid to express themselves, in fear to anger such and such,There will be a day where people will free themselves of that anger and fear of the unknown, we gotta keep fighting.

  17. ps: The LGBT community is accepting and LOVING, regardless of how much salt people throw at them, they are still willing to open their arms and embrace you, That’s commendable, given how when a white person says the N— Word they are on their way to the hospital….

  18. There was a time when someone like me was beat, demostrated againse, allowed to be raped with no recourse for justice, and much worst. That is a problem for a lot of young black people is that they think the way it is now is the way it has always been and that is not the case.

    Know who you are and your history @Shontelle before you ever make a stupid statement like that. I know what being discriminated against means. I am in a males dominated industry particularly a white male dominated industry but I am strong because my strength comes from a higher power. And if you must know I don’t believe in same sex marriages and that doesn’t make me a bad person it just makes me a person with my own thoughts and believes.

    I am tired of gay people trying to force everyone to agree with their lifestyle. What you do is on you but don’t try to make me agree with it. I am sure there are some people out here who does not or have not agreed with every lifestyle choice I have made but that doesn’t mean I have to beat my lifestyle down their throats and force people to accept it. That is what I feel is going on right now.

    I for one am taking a stand their fight is not my fight that is not me oppressing them that is me disagreeing with them. I respect their right to fight for what they believe and their free speech but I personally don’t have to accept it nor agree with it. That is not oppression Shonelle that is called difference of opinions.

  19. I agree with Bria. I mean maybe we should start having heterosexual or asexual parades. Or heterosexual pride day. Or if you’re a swinger have swinger pride day or an adulterer parade. If you wanna be gay or feel you’re ” born” gay. Then live your life and be that. All the other crap is just extra and unnecessary. And yes I know some might say being gay is more than just who you’re sleeping with…and maybe it is….. Maybe

  20. What happened to the First Amendment? They can insult and then apology they don’t really mean it? It is offensive, in poor taste but they have a right to say what they want to say too for they pay taxes too!!!

  21. @Bria: So now i’m even more confused, so you know how it feels like to be treated in such a poor manner, but you are willing to sit by and watch another human being treated the same way?You made a nonchalant comment about how gays people should get over the abuse and oppression, since they “own” Hollywood and have the best jobs, they could deal with a spoon of crap every now and then, What if i said that to you? Get over slavery, Get over everything that makes you feel less than, Get over it! How would you feel? The simple fact that you feel that your struggle was somewhat harder than theirs so they should let it go told me all that i needed to know.

    There is no need for us to keep on having this discussion, i came at you trying to have a civilized conversation and you want to insult me, We all aren’t free and i can’t solve the issues plaguing your life and i don’t want to,
    Have a nice day.

  22. it’s called divide and conquer one of the oldest tricks in the books to keep black folks angry at each other and not focusing in on the real issue concerning us here in black america.

  23. @Shontelle guess sweetie I do get over it. Just because I get over it does not mean I forget it. It just means I move past it. You keep reading what you want to in my comments so obviously this must be a personal issue for you and if I assumed to much then I apologize. But I won’t apologize for how I feel Agains as I stated before this is not my issues. And maybe if more people knew more about their history they could get over it and move past it. That does not equate to forgettng it.

    I don’t know where you got the insults from because I have not insulted in niether of our comments to each other. If by having a conversation or conversing with me you mean that you want me to agree with everything that you say then we should end it. Because on this sweetie we are on the opposite ends of this battle. You are on the side who cares about it and I am on the side who does not. I do believe people should be able to protect their assetts but I don’t believe in same sex marriage. If you can’t handle a mature conversation with someone who disagrees with you then I apologize for trying to have that with you. Again I still don’t get where you got the insults from but if you feel insulted I do apologize. That was clearly not my intention.

    I also think part of the problem in this country is people are too emotional and that is why we can never get anything accomplished. I try to view all things from logical place I don’t always accomplish that but but I do try to start out there. Makes you able to see things better and handle things better when people don’t agree with you. You take care sweetie.

  24. @ Bria I agree with most of your posting.

    Lady J….sorry but Don Imus is not a comedian and I don’t appreciate the comparison…because there is a clear difference in what he said and what Tracy Morgan said. One was a joke and one was not! By the way no one talks crazier about black people than black people….so your point is not taken. As long as he is putting down other black folks….thanks Okay and funny? right
    Why is it gay people are not addressing this in the proper places….Your issue is with churches and religion.(these views are shared by many not just black people)…Stop using our struggle and or history….as some way of getting a marriage license! The comparison is very insulting

    You may need to remind yourself why Dr. King was murdered. I think you don’t really realize how you sound.

  25. Another very EXCELLENT post Lady J! It is very thought-provoking & apparently one that has hit a few nerves based off of some of the comments. GREAT!

    My suggestions to some of you making comments would be to go back, take your time & thoroughly RE-READ the article, even if you have to use a thesaurus and dictionary to make your way through to complete understanding. This suggestion is is no way a negative reflection on you. Lady J is apparently well educated & it is very well reflected in her writing style, word choices, grammar & syntax.

    As with all situations in life, be careful of making GENERALIZATIONS about any situation or group. There are very few, if any, instances where ALL of anything is the same & it is certainly a lesser phenomenon where EVERYONE of ANY group is of the same mindset. It truly is OK to be different than the mainstream, to think outside of the norm & to live your life the way it works for you as long as that doesn’t infringe on the rights of other. There really is enough room in this world for all of us to co-exist in harmony, despite our historical & current EPIC FAIL in this area.

    For those of you who complained about no one addressing issues affecting Black women, read (or re-read) Lady J’s first post in Brown Sista “Just Lie Down and Take It”. It’s another very thought-provoking article.

    Finally, in all things, try to remember that opinions are like people, we are all have them & are actually entitled to have them. Whether you agree with the opinions of others or not, maintain your humanity & BE RESPECTFUL!!!

  26. I totally agree with @ bria & rememberDRKinglife…..i hate when they compare!!

  27. wooooooooooohhhhhhhhoooooooooooo
    Gay marriage law passed in Nyc, Those that can afford the trip, can go and get married, One more stone down. 🙂

  28. I HAVE NO PROBLEMS WITH THE WAY PEOPLE CHOOSE TO LIVE THERE LIVES. HOWEVER I FEEL THAT THEIR LIFESTLYES ARE A BIT CONFLICTING IF THAT IS THE CHOICE YOU WISH TO MAKE. I JUST NEED SOME CLARITY AND UNDERSTANDING THAT NO ONE CAN SEEM TO ANSWER IVE ASKED MY GAY FRIENDS ONLY FOR THEM TO GET OFFENDED.

    QUESTIONS:

    1. IF YOU DO NOT LIKE MEN WHY CHOOSE TO LOOK LIKE ONE?

    2. IF YOU DO NOT LIKE WOMEN WHY DO YOU WANT TO DRESS UP TO BE ONE?

    (THE REASONS FOR THE FIRST TWO QUESTIONS ABOVE IS IF YOU DISLIKE BEING WITH THE OTHER SEX SO MUCH I HAVE A HARD TIME UNDERSTANDING WHY YOU WANT TO LOOK LIKE IT) FOR EXAMPLE GAY WOMEN THAT WEAR BOXERS AND PIMP AND WALK LIKE A MAN..WHY IF YOU DO NOT LIKE MEN?

    3. IF YOU DO NOT LIKE PENIS WHY GET A WOMAN TO WEAR A STRAP ON?

    4. WHY DOES MALE HOMOSEXUALS HAVE SO MANY PARTNERS?

    (THERE SEEMS TO BE NO COMMITTED RELATIONSHIPS)

  29. I agree with Bria & rememberDrKingslife. Also the gay rights struggle is in no way like the civil rights movement and the comparison is very insulting to the people that died and suffered during the civil rights. Furthermore I feel like there is the full blown agenda to force the gay rights movement down everyones throat and almost force people to agree. I don’t wish anyone any harm but it is my right to have my own opinion and beliefs and not agree with same sex marriage.

  30. The down fall of all powerful nations was when they started believing they show God the error of his ways. The bible the word, the spirit, and the emotion will forever mean what it means and it will never change. I would rather live like there is a God and if I die and there isn’t one so be it I lived my as a good person but to die and find out there is one and to activatly march and protest for something that he said is an abomination woe be un to me or anyone in that position.

    So all of this cheering and high fiving I am going to pray for your soul.

  31. I agree with Bria.

    Everyone is entitled to their opinion and to exercise free speech.

    Blacks and homosexuals (of which my BEST friend is one) should not be compared. Two different plights. I don’t hate gay people by any stretch of the imagination, either.

Comments are closed.