Singer Erykah Badu and her boyfriend, producer Jay Electronica, welcomed a brand new baby girl into the world- early Sunday afternoon. The pair announced the birth via a Twitter update, which was later confirmed by Erykah’s publicist. This will be Jay’s first child and the third for Erykah, who has a 10 year son named Seven by rapper Andre 3000 and a four year old daughter named Puma by rapper DOC. Twittering a birth announcement is definitely unique and more than likely the first of it’s kind by a celebrity. Jay first started twittering the event the moment Erykah went into labor and both he and Eykah continued the updates until Erykah finally gave birth at 1:30 pm.
Congrats to the happy couple and their new baby daughter.
OK let’s cut the — I’m all about the miracle of life, but for each of her children to be born to a different father (out of wedlock to boot) is not exactly a “good look,” in the name of being a real lady. She may be a talented artist, but the whole “baby daddy” thing is really not becoming, especially as it is so commonplace in the black community.
It’s just that I want more for our black families. Is it too much to expect her to settle down with someone?
congrats to erykah.
i know i’m going to get chewed out for this by some of ya’ll, but 3 diff. kids by 3 diff baby daddies and she still ain’t married? come on erykah, get it together.
@baron,
your comment wasn’t showing up when i was writing mine. i agree with you 100%
I wonder which rapper will be the father of her next baby? Lil’ Wayne? Or maybe an R&B artist next time; just for varieties sake.
Much congrats to E and Jay. She’s one of the few celebs who stays true to herself–regardless of what people think of her and that’s why I’ve always loved her. Families come in all shapes and sizes, just look at Brad and Angie. Haters need to chill and focus on their own lives and families.
Marriage is a beautiful thing but doesn’t work for everyone. As long as the children are being taken care of and my tax dollars aren’t going to support them, I have no problem with her and her family. There’s much to learn from this woman about life and living.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and I think Erica is setting a bad example for her children. I won’t push marriage because marriage is not for everyone but atleast if you choose to have children do it with some type of responsibility whether you can afford them or not. Having children is more than being able to afford them it comes with a lot of responsibility and as a parent you are shaping young minds and a parent is a child’s first teacher. Is she just having kids because she can? If she dates 6 more men and loves all of them will she have a baby by each of them? Why does she have to have a baby with everyone she dates!
Puhleez. Her children will be fine. They’re well-loved, well-fed and well-traveled. How is she being irresponsible??? Because she’s not married??? Have you talked to her children to see what their opinions are??? Are you a fly on the wall in their house??? Do you know what kind of arrangments she has with the fathers??? People stay judging other people’s business when they really need to be focusing and improving their OWN lives. I can see it if she had three kids by three different dudes in three years but this is a 12-year span. Is she supposed to stop loving just because it didn’t work out with the first child’s father??? Is she supposed to abort the babies??? O, she really would be a sinner then so it’s a lose-lose situation regardless! If she chooses to have 10 kids by 10 different men, that’s HER BUSINESS. I can’t judge because I am NOT god or perfect.
I know people who are married with kids and are MISERABLE. They hate each other and are staying together “for the kids sake.” How sad. All the child sees is a relationship where negative energy is rampant. I wouldn’t want that for my child. Would you???
Congratulations To my sister
I do not have the time, energy or desire to get into any back and forth with anyone about MY opinion which I am entitled to have. I haven’t talked to Erica’s kids to know how they are doing and as far as I know neither has anyone else on this blog. So just like I don’t know if they are affected… no one else knows if they are fine. What difference does it make in the time span in which she had 3 kids with 3 different men…whatever. My opinion stands. She is setting a bad example for her own children.
Congrats to Erykah!!
I follow Erykah on Twitter and I love it that she so openly is welcoming and close to her fans. LOVE. HER. She talked about meditating and feeling like a duck with long legs on one entry. LOL. Love her and so glad the birth went well. God bless her. :brownsista:
Like I said, them kids are fine and will always be fine, regardless of what anyone thinks.
Let’s now focus on what really matters, improving OUR lives and our communities.
(But I think I need to be praying to Tanya instead of God. She’s so perfect and saintly to the point where she can judge others. How loverly!)
Jennifer, you obviously have serious issues and are you are very immature and you need to pray for yourself. I am not pefect and or saintly but I have an opinion and thank God this a free country where I can give my opinon. This is a blog maybe you need to go and research what a blog is and what people do on blogs. Do not address me any further because I will not respond to you because I did not come here to go back and forth with you. If you need someone to chat with get an email buddy. I am always striving towards improving myself and my community. Maybe you should strive towards using better grammer and getting a dictionary. Furthermore part of the problem in OUR community is single parent households.
Erykah is very tolerant of pain! 5 hours of labor, no pain killers, twittering during labor and after the birth! Perhaps, I should start meditating!
Can’t wait to hear the name.
@ lola i fully support you when you meditate in the midst of any kind of pain your mind releases beautiful endorphins,it feels so good..
congrats to miss badu,she is a loving spiritual woman,as long as there is love in her home it dsnt matter how many baby daddies she has,those kids have a loving strong mother.
Congratulation to her. You can’t impose your morals on everyone. I wish her the best :)
Congratulations Erykah Badu!!
People have been missing the point that Tanya has been stressing. Having children is not just about being financially stable or just loving them. It involves a lot of things. Children need stability!!! And having a child with every man that you meet means taking away that stability from children. Because its not like she is settled with whom she is with, clearly she is a free spirit and loves to love and have children in the process. How many “uncles” are her children going to have? Is it too much for the children to have the same mother and father under the same roof? Too many children, I included come from broken homes. Yes we have all survived but it doesnt mean we should do it to our kids as well. Every child wants a sense of belonging. This is not about society or anything else, but about the example that she is setting for her kids as Tanya said.
Congrats girl. Only thing I can say is responsibility and much love to you all
Love me some Erykah but to each its own on their opinion of Erykah. Congratulations
Tanya, I am more mature and responsible than most my age and like you, I am entitled to my opinion. But I still think it’s in very poor taste to cast judgement on someone, unless you’re Almighty and perfect. And those are two things that you are NOT. Single parenthood is not the major issue in our community. I came from one and rose above it and am doing fine. I know of other kids that came from two-parent homes and STILL have issues because someone, most likely the daddy, neglected them. So let’s talk about all these other celebs with multiple fathers: Kimora and Djmoun; Angie and Brad; hell, Faith Evans has three children by three daddies. Marriage or not, what kinds of values are they teaching their children???? There should NOT be a double-standard for anybody.
People kill me talking about other people’s business. And still, you didn’t answer most of my questions from earlier: How do you guys know that her household isn’t stable???? How do you know what kind of arrangements she has with the fathers??? You DON’T!!!! It isn’t you or anyone else’s business!!!!
And BTW, “grammer” is spelled “grammar.”
She’s trifling – if this was a chick on the block or in our families we’d call her all kinds of names. She gets a pass because she plays up that contrived bohemian persona. She is so annoying!
That said, glad baby is healthy.
Congrats to her. Very few people in this world have knowledge of self and know what’s really going on. She’s in that group, which is why she can unapolagetically live her life and not be affected by anyone’s viral opinion. I wish I were that brave. Living life with no fear must be a beautiful thing.
She’s trifling – if this was a chick on the block or in our families we’d call her all kinds of names. She gets a pass because she plays up that contrived bohemian persona. She is so annoying!
Well i don’ t live on the block and my family taught me to say congratulations when an happy event shows up and keep my comments to my dang self and let people be happy, it’ s called being educated and well mannered
Congratulation Erykah
It just comes across as tasteless to have 3 children by 3 different men. However, I am happy welcome the little bundle of joy.
It also comes across as tasteless to judge people you don’t know. Women who have multiple children with different men (married or not): Faith Evans, Christie Brinkley, Kimora Lee, Lisa Bonet, Vanessa Williams, Angelina Jolie, Scary Spice, etc. I wonder what kinds of examples they are setting for their children, especially after multiple divorces. But no one has thought about that.
@ Baron
I agree. That’s freaking ridiculous that’s what’s wrong with black women.Damn can we get married and have kids. I don’t understand it, I really don’t. God Bless her and her kids though because they didn’t ask for that. Hopefully she’ll stick with this one but with Erika you never know.
“Had 2 babies different dudes” Erykah’s song “Me”
She should sing now “Had 3 babies different dudes”)) LOL
Anyway, congrats, Erykah!!!!
I love Erykah, her talent cannot be denied. However (lol), umm the truth is–if this was regular ole Erica, we would all have a problem with this. I’m actually shocked that this is the guy’s first child and Erykah’s the one with all the chilren (lol), usually it’s the opposite. The guy has a bunch of children. I don’t know. She’s grown and I hate to judge, but I really hope she doesn’t do this again. She is 36-37? She has three children now, that should be enough. Any case, I wish her and her baby well!
do any of yall just stop to think that maybe she just use the men as baby daddy and don’ t wanna get married? Do yall need a man to validate you or what ? DAMN
@peopledontknowanything said-all of the women you listed come across as tasteless and so do you for attacking someones OPINION!
Erykah home-schools her children, feeds them organic food and teaches them knowledge of self. You could’nt ask for a more dedicated mother. At least she puts her love and commitment in her children and not in a man. Congrats Miss Badu. grow those seeds sista!
Mzlady: I’m not attacking your opinion, I’m disputing it. Big difference.
Mo’Star is someone who gets it!!
LOL @ Jennifer and other folks who act like they have NEVER been judgmental about anyone’s personal lives..tell the truth and shame the devil! People have very strong opinions on this subject, so if you are going to take every negative comment personally, maybe you shouldn’t be on this blog.
Now, I am a fan of Ms. Badu and I love her music. But, I am not going to sit here and act like I agree with all of the personal decisions she has made in her life. I am not okay with the three children by three different baby daddies. The first child was fine. She was obviously in love and in a long-term relationship. I was even okay with the second one, but at what point does it stop being okay and start being irresponsible? I don’t like the way it looks or the message that it sends. And I do think there is a double standard going on here. If this wasn’t “Erykah Badu” whom we all know and love in all of her mysterious glory, more people would be willing to call it what it is. Instead, she gets a pass. I don’t think so.
As my momma would say….”The baby is here now. Can’t be worried about how it got here. Just pray that the child got its own.” “Own” as in love, support, nourishment, etc.
Prettylady: Just because I have an open mind, I’m not allowed to my opinion? I don’t spend my time talking negative about other people. What a waste. I have my own life to live and I spend my time focusing on that. But if it were a regular girl down the block and she was responsible, I still would have nothing to say, especially if my tax dollars weren’t going towards feeding her children. Who is anyone–but god–to say that what this woman is doing is irresponsible or right?? It’s sending the wrong message to whom?? Anyone copying the life of a public figure is stupid anyway. You don’t do what you see other people do. Live your own life, be your own person, develop your own voice. It’s really that simple. What Badu does in her own personal life is none of my business, I honestly could care less. And why should any of these gods up here care too? Pun intended.
Some call what Ms. Badu does irrresponsible, others say it’s none of our business. Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever! Let me now switch gears on y’all and put this out there: at what point does Ms. Badu’s pumping out one baby after another become a sick obsession? She’s starting to remind me of this lady out here in Bellflower, California (just outside of Los Angeles) who had sixtuplets, liked it so much that she went and had octuplets. See what I’m saying? There’s something else going on with this Bellflower lady and Ms. Badu and it’s not about having kids.
I hate to wade into this morass, but here I go…I’m a little concerned that we’ve come to the point where not being in stable, enduring relationship (I didn’t say married) before bringing a child into this world is somehow laudable. I think we all can point to examples of “strong” women who have raised their families without a male partner, but with respect to black women, it usually wasn’t their choice to do so. Circumstances dictated that they raise their children in a single parent family. I’d bet good money that not many of them would say it’s the ideal;because it’s not.
With respect to Ms. Badu, her ability to raise her children without public assistance, feed them organic food, home-school them and love them unconditionally, is not the issue. Having a strong, loving family unit provides stability for a child — gives them comfort and makes them feel safe. A good father figure will teach a young boy what it truly means to be a man, he will emulate what it means to treat a woman with respect and tenderness. He will understand what he means to take care of family and provide for them, from the man’s perspective. For a little girl, she will learn how she should be treated by a man. What love means and does not mean. What a good, strong, loving relationship is. And for every daddy’s girl out there, ask yourself – who was the first man I flirted with? It was your father. You batted those eyes to get what you wanted, and it ususally worked. Your father is your protector forever and always, and if he’s a good father, he will make you a better woman. These are things that are unspoken but a child learns on a DAILY basis by observing in their family. No matter how good a parent, neither Ms. Badu nor any single mother is able to provide these types of life lessons. And I understand completely that sometimes life throws you a curveball and you end up alone with 2.5 kids. Ish happens. At least you tried to provide the right environment. Can’t be faulted if it doesn’t turn out the way you planned.
How appropo that this Sunday’s NYTs Mag had an article titled “2 Kids + 0 Husbands = Family” These are primarily white well-educated women who have gone the Erykah Badu route. Most have adopted their kids. What I found most interesting was this statement “As she [her eldest daughter] moves to adolescense, she sometimes treats men as unusual and too fascinating creatures. About the helpful men [brother, good friends to serve as "father figures"]on her list, Fran said: ‘They aren’t in our lives the same way a father would be. But this is the best I can do.’” If she doesn’t understand them, she’s in for a tough time. I can imagine all kinds of problems with men in this girl’s life. The same kind of problems I see with the girls I tutor, acting out sexually — unable to discern love from sex. Not knowing their worth.
I feel for the guy who tries to date Malia or Sasha Obama. Their parent’s relationship is the model. And yes, their marriage is the model. I think you’ve probably all seen the pics and video of them being affectionate and the flood of comments about how beautiful their realtionship is. How tender and affectionate. It’s almost like they’re from a different planet and we’re observing from behind plexiglass. I have been genuinely taken aback at how emotional people get when seeing them interact. Just goes to show how “starved” we are as a people. Shouldn’t be that way. That kind of loving relationship/family should be on display all over the place. That should not be the exception – it should be the rule. There isn’t a woman on this board who wouldn’t love to have realtionship/family like that [at least as we perceive it. IDK what happens behind closed doors]. Well, YOU deserve it and so do your KIDS. Make it happen!
As the infamous Shug Avery once said “Ain’t never knew a child to turn out right without a paw.” Truer words have never been spoken.
@ smooth thug. You may have a point. I think people forget, Erykah’s father has been in jail most of her life, as a matter of fact–I believe he died in jail. She has never had a father figure in her life. I think she’s looking for something in these men. Hell she basically admitted to as much in the song “Green Eyes” on her Mama’s Gun cd. Listen to that song and you will know what i’m talking about. That is why I’m so surprised she’s still going this route. She seemed to understand she has an unhealthy longing to be loved, even when she knows the guy isn’t right for her. I guess it’s one of those easier said than done things. I wish her and her children well though.
@peopledon’tknowanything
You are entitled to your opinion just as much as I am. I have no problem with people stating their opinions. I just think it is hilarious how people can get on a celebrity gossip blog and scream about how much they love to stay out of other people’s business. Really??? Truth be told..we are all on here because we like to comment on the lives of celebrities! Now, all of a sudden, we are not supposed to say anything bad?
I don’t spend my life talking negative about other people, but I’m also not afraid to call a situation as I see it. We have two separate points of view on this issue. I’m fine with that.
@somelikeithot
Very well said.
Congrats to Erykah and fam. Why can’t people just let other people be happy?
BTW, “Green Eyes” was about her break-up with Andre 3000, not her relationship with her father.
@Mo’star…Not everybody understands the perspective you’re presenting but I do.
Who said Ms. Badu had to have the perfect example of a family. It sounds like she’s doing more than most mothers who have a career and she’s seems to do it well. As long as she stays proactive about raising her children, I don’t think any of us have the right to such negative opinions. It’s easy to have a pity party and want to invite everybody. Maybe your experience in a single family household wasn’t the best but I have a inkling that Erykah, Seven, Puma and the new baby girl Badu are going to be just fine.
@Some Like It Hot…well said…I feel you.
It’s amazing that if this was some pop star who did this, people would be yelling at them for being irresponsible and bad role model for young girls, yet just because its some neo-soul singer who people think is the TRUTH, although Jesus is the TRUTH, no human being…i digress. But just because its Erykah, they go on and say at least she’s a good mother that feeds her kids organic foods blah blah blah…whatever happened to stability? And why is it very easy these days to overlook morals and self respect just because someone is a REAL artist? At the end of the day we don’t know for sure if behind closed doors she’s a model mom, just cause she sings well doesn’t mean that she is an excellent or a bad mother for that fact. It doesn’t matter who says what, having three kids by different people, whether male or female is wrong, and not just morally but it is wrong for the children as well!!!!
@ prettylady181
I think this guy she had the baby by is official.
THEdecadeOFmoralDECAY is nuts.
I disagree that as long as the children are taken care of they don’t suffer. I am the product of a mother who had 3 children by 3 different men. There is a stigma attached to having children out of wedlock by many different fathers. Her children will hear of their mother being called horrible names. I recall many times children calling my own mother names because of what she had done. A few of my friends mothers exhibited the same behavior, and their children were taunted in school. We all know children can be cruel sometimes so why put your kids through it. Everyone makes mistakes(the mistake is in lying down without condoms and not being married) but why keep doing the same behavior over and over. Ideally children should have the same father so that they can enjoy family time and the siblings can talk about where their dad took them and what they did and take photographs. It makes no sense to have one father come on tuesday to get a kid and then another father come on thursday to get the second kid and then the 3rd dad come on saturday to get the last kid. How about one father coming on Friday to take all 3 of his kids to go out. Just my opinion.
THEdecadeOFmoralDECAY
You are not nuts at all. Folks have different levels of expectation from certain artists.
Nevertheless, It’s her life. She’s entitle to live it the way she pleases. As long as she’s not dependent on you.
By the way, I would say the same for any other genre artists and non-artist, too :)
@thedecadeofmoraldecay
I hear you talking and I agree.
@Nikki
You said: “It makes no sense to have one father come on tuesday to get a kid and then another father come on thursday to get the second kid and then the 3rd dad come on saturday to get the last kid.”
Thank you for setting up that scenario perfectly. Could you imagine what that must be like for the children? Are the other fathers expected to bond with the children that are not biologically theirs? Are there hurt feelings on the child’s part when one dad comes by more than the other? Despite all of the best intentions, things are very likely to get messy at times whenever there are children involved.
Marriage is different things to different people. But one thing that it does NOT mean is security. Security–whether it be financially or emotionally–comes from within. I know many women who choose to adopt or have children alone. I know of some who have children out of wedlock. And that’s OK, as long as the children are fine.
Life: I agree completely with you
I guess it would’ve looked better for her to keep having abortions. Imagine the message that would send out. Or better yet, she could get married, have child and then get divorced. Do that three times and see how much better that would look. Whatever she ends up doing won’t please the morally concious/religous/church-going folks so it’s a lose-lose situation for her either way.
@Life
I don’t think marriage is for everybody and I agree with what you said. However, I don’t think it is a question of her not being married. It is the deliberate decision to have different fathers for all of her children that contribute to the lack of security.
Erykah reminds me of the girl who got teased in high school because she wanted to be different. She never bothered anybody, but simply wanted to live in her own world and do her own thing.
Prettylady: No one really knows what goes on behind closed doors in her household. The only people that can say for certain that there’s truly a “lack of security” are her children, the fathers, Erykah and her family members or friends. And I haven’t heard anyone say anything to the press about abuse yet. Until then, I refuse to speak on issues or affairs that I don’t know about. Thank you.
@ Life
Curious. How do you define a “[child] as fine?”
@ Antoinette
It’s called contraception. I would expect a woman of Ms. Badu’s age to understand how NOT to get pregnant. If she continued to have unprotected sex knowing the consequences, then I would say that Ms. Badu has some underlying personal issues that need to be addressed … and for added measure should get a battery of STD tests to boot.
As to your proposition that Ms. Badu could get married three times, have a child each time and divorce well … to that I say that would prove what myself [see comment above] and others have said about the effect of not having a stable family unit in place. Under your scenario, it would appear that Ms. Badu continues to chose unsuitable partners to marry and procreate with. After three unsuccessful marriages, I would say that problem lies with the common denominator. A woman who doesn’t know what she should be looking for in a man – maybe she’d have had a better chance if she’d had someone in her household to watch and observe what it is she should be looking for in a mate.
It’s my understanding that Ms. Badu’s father was never around and depending on the account, he died in jail. I don’t know his offense but I have to wonder if he had been in her life, serving as model, would we be having this discussion?
And before you let me have it, I am not one of those bible thumping, morally outraged persons you wrote about. I go to church on two occasions – weddings and funeral. Otherwise, you can find me worshipping on the beach at the alter of the ocean. But I am outraged nonetheless. I’m outraged at what has happend to the black family, the fact that the rate of black unwed teenage mothers and sexually transmitted diseases is through the roof with no decline in sight and that ours sons seem to be nothing more than conscripts for the penal system. Every study known to man to discuss these issues point to lack of a stable family — a solid black man in the home. This has been doing so since the ’60s. Ever read the Moniyhan Report? We need to face up to the fact that a mother’s love is not all that is needed.
To SomeLikeItHot: When I said “fine,” I meant as long as the children are taken care of, loved, nurtured, etc.
And I’ve never read or saw anything about her father being in jail so I don’t know where that person got that from. I don’t even think that’s the point here. I think she’s clearer than a lot of us will ever be. We all live in fear; I wish I had an ounce of her hudspah.
@ Life
Then that is where we will have to agree to disagree. I think it’s a fallacy to believe that simply because a child is “taken care[ed] of, loved, nurtured, etc,” that that is enough. Will the child grow up to be a functioning human being? More than likely, yes. But we also have to be attuned to those other needs that are not being met. A mother cannot teach a boy how to be a strong man and he won’t know how to love/interact with a woman, who is not is mother because he will not have observed such. Same for a daughter – there is too much that is soaked up through “osmosis” by observing a father, that a mother can’t provide. When a woman makes the decision to be a single-parent, she needs to recognize that she will only ever be able to provide half of the equation.
And if in fact her father was missing … that goes to the heart of the matter. The consequences of not having have a strong father figure in her life – Three different fathers. I really don’t know how “clear” she is but I do know this, I “fear” not giving any a child the opportunity to be a fully formed human being than this “hudspah” she’s supposedly demonstrating.
@Some Like it Hot said: Your statements are very pretentious. I have no idea if she was taking contraception or not. (I don’t want to know, not my business and I am not outraged over some woman who I don’t even know’s decision.) Only she does. Why should she stop having babies?? Because *YOU* think she should or is too old or too irresponsible to care for a family? Maybe she was trying to get pregnant. Again, her decision; her business.
I don’t understand why people won’t let that woman live her life and take care of her family.
I’d love to be married and have children with their father being around. But what if we get married and it doesn’t work out or one of us dies or even fall out of love. Shoot, I might get to a point where I want to adopt and raise a child alone. And there’s nothing wrong with that neither.
I know of good kids that came from bad homes with two parents who are scratching their heads trying to figure out where they messed up. Having a two-parent home is ideal and helps (I am not knocking this!!), but the reality is that today’s family is what and who you make it.
ToSomeLikeitHot: Let’s agree to disagree. The only thing we see eye to eye on is chilling at the beach.
@Life
I don’t know about you, but I question the emotional security of a child who grows up watching his/her mother carry on various relationships and keeps producing children out of wedlock. Different daddies on different days, one dad buys his child toys and/or comes to visit more often than another..and no one has even mentioned that all of these fathers are musicians, who are notorious for traveling all the time and being absent in general. There is no telling what kind of effect this is having on her children. And no one will ever know for sure, but I am not buying that all is well. Point blank..with all of these different fathers, she is stacking the odds against her children. God forbid her children grow up and continue this same cycle with various partners. Because “mama did it” I guess that will be okay, too? It has to stop.
@ Antoniette
Your use of the word “pretentious” is a misnomer. I merely addressed your example of her having an abortion (hence the comment on contraception) three times over or married three separate men and having three children by them. How this works is when you post an outlandish statement, you usually get a nuanced and outlandish response in return — at least from me. I have never made any mention about her age (have no idea how old she is) or used the term irresponsible to describe Ms. Badu’s actions. So I have no idea where that rant came from. My sole concern is our children and the effect the lack of a “black family” is having on them.
I’ll assume that you did not read my previous posts or you would not have gone on ad nauseum about “what if.” I’m not addressing that again.
No one disputes that two parent hosueholds can produce some duds. My point is that we should strive for the ideal – for the sake of our children. The ideal is a loving stable relationship – I didn’t say marriage. If we’ve moved away from that, then we are doomed people.
With respect to allowing Ms. Badu to live her life as she sees fit – she does! Nothing posted on this board will prevent her from having three more kids with three more different fathers if she chooses to do so. This is a blog. My understanding is that when a story is posted, I’m allowed to make on-topic comments as I see fit and to engage in constructive debate. If Ms. Badu would like to curtail this practice, she should become a recluse, stopped twittering about the most intimate aspects of her life, and cease sending out press releases. Until then … I’m posting my comments and you can rest assure that she will continue to live the life she wants.
To SomeLikeItHot: I know how this works and I think I just hit a nerve with you. But you sound extremely pretentious when you tell someone how you think they should live their lives, like your life is so perfect or you’re Dr. Phil or Iyanla Vanzant. I respect your opinion, but what works for one doesn’t always work for everyone.
You said: “My point is that we should strive for the ideal – for the sake of our children. The ideal is a loving stable relationship – I didn’t say marriage.”
How do you know that she doesn’t have a loving, stable relationship with this man? The only people that know what her life is really like is her and her family. Those children will be fine. They will grow up to be leaders with knowledge of self and awareness. I am not worried about them at all.
As Erykah would say, peace and blessings!
@ Antoinette
You’ve got me! Boy did you strike a nerve. You’ve definitely put me in my place and I thank you. How dare I posit that a stable, loving family be the ideal for black children — for children in general or express my concern that the lack thereof is something that seriously needs to be addressed. How dare I express on this blog — oh horror — the concern that the failure do so has major implications for us as a people or question the future impact of a singer’s lifestyle choices on her children. Mon dieu! How “pretentious!” I mean, I should just cheerily applaud her instead, right? Wish her well and let that be it. That whole thing about free will and the ability to draw one’s own conclusions based on the facts presented should just be thrown out the window. Got it!
I’m so glad we had this little debate. Free’s me up to stop thinking about the fact that our children are more sexually active at an earlier age than any other group. That the percentage of our children born of wedlock has crept up every year since the 60s. The low graduation rates and high rate of STDs and all those little black boys headed straight for the penal system. And that every study addressing these issues point to a lack of a stable family. Because the “ideal” really has nothing to do with this current state of affairs. Nothing whatsoever! We just have to make our families as we can – forget striving for something better, right? Our kids will be just “fine.” Afterall, they been doing just great up to this point.
I have been saved by peace and blessings!
To SomeLikeitHot:
Yes. You should just cheerily applaud her instead and KIM. It’s that easy. It’s that simple. Her children will be well. Just because they are not coming up under your ideal familial model doesn’t mean that they will not be successful or happy or loved. In fact, they will probably be just as successful as the next child. Erykah is not as stupid as many think. Her mind is clearer than most people’s. She’s alive, she’s awoke, she’s aware. I wouldn’t underestimate her mothering skills and/or family situation.
I have been saved by many a peace and blessings so I agree with you there:)
I think it so easy to judge when it’s not your life.
You know i find it funny how people say not to judge anyone. We all do it in some form or another. Whether it’s judging how someones hair is , their mate, their job, or their attitude. So no one has ever judged a woman who has killed her kids or a man who killed his wife…Oh Please give me a break. No one is perfect and we all judge in some form. If those of you who say not to judge and are so perfect then why aren’t you in heaven already.
Nikki you’re completely missing the point, love. The fact that I AM NOT PERFECT allows me to say it’s easier to judge when it’s not your life. That fact that I grew up in a two-parent household with parents who are about to celebrate their 44 wedding anniversary on Feb. 20 and being a parent myself (been together with my husband for 17 years and married 12) allows me to say that even in the best of scenarios there is still a great possibility that some children will fall through the cracks and aren’t promised to be the well-rounded people that Ms. Badu’s children can potentially be…but we’ll never know because we don’t know her experience. As an adult with my own child, I can tell you that parents do the best they can with what they have and raising kids without fathers is an occurrence that happens more often than not but that doesn’t mean they have to become statistics…
Who in here is a parent?
I understand what you are saying but i still disagree with your stance. I myself have had a child out of wedlock and while a child is a blessing it doesn’t make it right. You have had 2 parents and been together with your husband for 17 years and i admire that. However I have been the mother of a child formed out of wedlock. I have also been the child of a parent who has 3 kids with 3 different men. Love is all well and good it’s important but it is not the only important factor. How about setting a good example. I will never understand having 3 kids by 3 different people. How about after the 1st one stopping and taking a look at why the relationship didn’t work and taking some time to learn before having baby 2 and 3. All I have been saying is that it is not fair to the children involved to have to be separated everytime one father comes to visit one child and take that one child somewhere. When I was younger(18) I thought love was the only factor in raising a child. Now a decade later I believe that one mother and one father is ideal for children. Like I have said in my previous posts it is just my opinion.
@Nikki…Thank you for sharing your perspective and don’t get me wrong I never said I disagreed with your opinion. Even though our family experiences are at opposite ends of the spectrum, ideally, I believe in the one mother, one father model when it comes to rearing children also. But how many families in the entertainment business fit what is “ideal”…
Thank you also for sharing your perspective. You are right not many in the entertainment business fit the “ideal” model.
btw…keep your head up, ma. Not that I have to tell you…hehe =)
Keep your head up too, Not that i have to tell you that either…hehe
Erykah and Jay named the baby Mars Merkaba announced via Twitter
Congratulation Again
Ok I know I am late, but thought I would chime in. 1st off congrats to Erykah & her man on the birth of their child. Now back to the topic @ hand… I have seen the back & fwd about the fact that Ms. Badu has had 3 kids by 3 different men & did so out of wedlock. Many of you have made very good points. For one, if Ms. Badu was just a normal avg civilian would she still get the pass of doing this w/o being talked about. I think will all know that would not be the case. She would be talked about just like any other woman. With that being said, I do believe that there is a double standard when it comes to us regular folks & celebs. Just b/c they have a lil loot & status does not make a lot of the things they do ok, they are just a wrong as the next man. So sayin that it’s ok for one person & that they are a “free spirit” what does that say to the next person who you have just grilled about the actions… yes it would be very confusin & contradictory.
However, out of all the comments, maybe I overlooked if so forgive me, I didn’t see anyone mention the fact that these children are living in a household where they see different men come & go. Which leads to children being born. It is not healthy for kids to see different men come out of mama’s bedroom all the time, no not sayin that Ms. Badu has a brothel lol, but I don’t doubt that her kids didn’t have contact w/ the different fathers. It can cause all kinds of trouble for the kids behavior & etc. It can also cause the child to grow up w/ the attitude of “well you did it, why can’t I”. This also applies to men as well, I don’t think it is a good idea to bring a bunch of different women around their kids as well. I think we all know someone or maybe you have been that person, where mama or daddy have several lady or men friends(on the intimate level) and they have them or you call them “uncle” or “auntie”. I suppose the child then grows up thinking wow mama/ daddy had a lot of brothers & sisters. It causes a cycle that might not be stopped. But @ the end of the day it is Erykah’s life & family & she will be the one to answer to her kids when they become adults, on that note I wish her & her family the best.
ERYKAH IS NO DIFFERENT FROM THE OTHER MILLIONS OF FEMALES WALKING AROUND WITH 10 DIFFERENT BABY DADDY’S. THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON SINCE BEFORE SHE EVEN HAD HER FIRST CHILD, SO HOW DARE SOME OF YOU COME IN HERE TALKING NOISE. I KNOW HALF THE PEOPLE IN HERE HAVE FRIEND OR RELATIVE WITH 2, 3, 4, OR MAYBE EVEN 5 KIDS OUT OF WEDLOCK, AND YOU GONNA COME IN HERE AND JUDGE. WHAT SO YOU SAYIN’ SHE SHOULD HAVE GO AN ABORTION? SOME OF YOU ACT LIKE YOU ARE HOLIER THAN THOU AND HAVE NEVER HAD SEX WITHOUT A CONDOM BEFORE WITH SOMEONE YOU LOVED. **** HAPPENS, GOD BLESSED HER WITH ANOTHER CHILD FOR A REASON, SO SOME OF YOU SHOULD JUST SHUT UP!
Who should shut up? Those of us who have an opinion that is different from yours. It is the purpose of a forum to express opinions. Erykah is not the first woman to have a child out of wedlock and won’t be the last. Some of us believe that yes women do have children out of wedlock but why keep on the same pattern of behavior. Those of us who have friends with 2,3, 4, or 5 baby daddy’s know most of those women get called horrible names behind their back. So since Erykah is not the first woamn to have more than one baby daddy why would anyone want to subject themselves to the humiliation that those before them have experienced. No one said she should have had an abortion but how about using better judgment and therefore a person would not be on their 3rd baby with a 3rd man. If people would take the time to get to know their mate maybe they would not be on their 3rd baby daddy. If time were taken the woman would discover that the relationship would not last and therefore another innocent baby would not result in the parents ignorance. I also think it is tacky for a grown woman to come on her and tell others to shut up. We have all had opinions that were different but not once have i ever told anyone on here to shut up. Just my opinion.
@Nikki
I agree. Let’s leave the “shut ups” on the playground where they belong :) We’re all adults here.
Nobody should shut up! We’re all blessed to have the right to freedom of speech and should use it, especially when regarding topics like this.
I can see and respect both viewpoints but I’m on the congrats and “mind your business” side. Three kids, three daddies. Big deal, her business. Who knows, she might actually be a good mother. I hate to blame this one situation on societal issues. It’s not right and not fair. She’s living a very public life and everything she does or says is under a microscope (some of it at her own accord like Twittering the birth). It’s her life and she clearly lives however she wants to–and is unapolagetic for it too. And she should be.
I pray to the gods that I get the whole “American Dream” thing with a house, strong black husband and children, but the reality is that nothing is guaranteed. No household, even the “ideal,” is perfect. Children fall through the cracks all the time and that’s why I try not to underestimate anybody’s child or situation. No one on this message board knows what Erykah’s children see everyday. (I secretly kinda wish she would get a reality show so we could get a small glimpse into her alternative lifestyle.) Love and hate comes in so many forms. Her children may see three different men (shoot, they might not!) but I think it’s just as worse for a child to see their mother with one man who punches her teeth out and blackens her eye or one who isn’t very loving and affectionate towards her or the child.
I guess I’m just trying to say that people live alternative lifestyles that work for them. They might seem weird or awkward to others, because it’s not the ideal, but as long as it works for them, I respect it.
And before I get pounded on, let me state again: I respect everyone’s comments up here. I don’t agree with all of them but I respect the opinions. We all have valid points, whether we agree or not.
shut up is not an immature word if you think what is being stated is a bunch of non-sense. no matter you opinion, it’s definitely not going to change the world. now take that to the playground
Shut is appropriate for those on the playground. Grown folks simply say that what someone stated is non sense. Once again just my opinion and once again I have told no one to shut up.
well I prefer not to pass judgment on one of God’s children…congrats to Erykah, very strong woman! I don’t think I would be worried about a “twitter” while I am in labor, lol. Congrats again!!
First and Foremost, children are a blessing and I send my congrats to Ms. Badu and her child’s father. Secondly, as a Family Service Worker who works in a child care center in a low-income area, my focus is the children. Once you have children, what you want is out of the picture. You want to be free to love (screw) Sam, James, Pookie, D-Nice, JuWan, Brandon, Aaron, Ronny, Bobby, Ricky and Mike (and don’t forget Ralph), but your child sees that; and it affects them. We see the effects of what goes on in some families during the day after you’ve dropped your kids off and gone to work (those who have jobs). I’m not judging, because if I had come across a broken condom in my sex life, I’d be in the same situation. My only thing is, no matter how “life has changed” or “times are different” or “we can do what we want with our lives”, we have a responsibility to the COMMUNITY and our children are in that community. It’s heart breaking to read some of these comments and see that we don’t want or expect better. Just because things are going a certain way does not mean its ( i won’t say right) productive. My focus has panned out to a bigger cause and a bigger responsibility. If that’s being judgemental, I’m guilty. I want more for my community; we should want more for ourselves.
*Afterthought: The sad part about this is that someone is going to tear my comment apart, saying that I’m judging, I should mind my business, i’m crazy, maybe i misspelled something and just a whole lot of other STUFF, and miss what i said. Peace love and blessings to all!
Dang, how did I miss this post??
cpeacenlove: It’s not that people don’t want or expect better, it’s just that no one really knows what goes on in this woman’s life everyday and the ideal situation isn’t always the enlightened path to happiness and we must be cognizant of that. We could say that you’re not living a right life because you feed your children high fructose corn syrup or pork. Would that be fair? No. People are so obsessed with these celebrities and don’t focus on their own lifes and families. I’d love to see what Ms. Badu or any of the fathers say in response to all the criticism she’s getting.
Point missed, as I predicted. I didn’t speak of an ideal situation, I spoke of responsibility. As far as the ideal situation goes, I’ve come to the conclusion that few in this generation of adults will ever get a fraction of the ideal situation. I don’t think we want to try hard enough or strive for better situations. The sad thing is, as i’ve said, and no matter what explanations are given (and I’ve read some creative ones on this blog), people don’t want or expect better for themselves, or we’re at least not willing to work for it.
Dang, you guys expect this woman to crumble up in a ball and never fall in love or have children again. She’s probably more responsible than the ideal family. Her mind seems like she’s clearer than most people will ever be. She probably tried with the first guy (Andre) until he broke up with her. Do you stop loving after your child’s father breaks up with you? I think people want or expect better, but what happens when we don’t get that Cinderella/fairy tale life?? S*it happens, you pull yourself up, be responsible and make something out of your situation. That’s all I’m saying.
key words, BE RESPONSIBLE. no one expects her to stop falling in love , that’s an unrealistic expectation. And as far as her mind being clearer, yeah, after that green smoke clears. If running through relationships and dropping babies in each one is having a clearer mind, hey, you like it, I love it, but I’d rather stay in the fog that I’m in. I guess I just grew up around different kind of women. Most of my aunts, my older cousins, and even my mother had their ‘fairy tales’ crushed at one point, but NONE of them ran in and out of relationships or started multiple families just because they were looking for love. The women I grew up with knew that the example and environment they set for their children was more important. Did they date and fall in love? Sure! But they went about it in a more…we’ll say, dignified manner. however, my comments are not a personal attack on Ms. Badu or anyone else, my only message has been (and will ALWAYS continue to be) to want and expect better for yourself, and your (OUR) community. It ain’t all about you (that’s a collective ‘you’, not a personal one).
I’m all about being responsible my dam self cpeacenlove, but do your research. She’s not running in and out of relationships, she was with each of her partners for a NUMBER OF YEARS before having their children. She’s responded to this topic before. The information is out there. Please research before you speak on situations that you know nothing of, unless you’re her family pet or one of her family members or close friends. Then I’ll be quiet.
K, thanks, goodbye.
I was compelled to post because of the mentality of responses (like yours) on this blog. And, like i have said, my point was missed. your whole paragraph was about ‘do your research’. I do my research, on RELEVANT subjects. I passed by this page b/c I was bored over the weekend. ‘unless you’re her familly pet…’ further proves that my point was missed. maybe you could do some research and read my first post on 2/7/09.
ok, your welcome, peacenblessings
*want and expect better for yourself*
My life has nothing to do with Ms. Badu cpeacenlove. I am a grown woman with my own mind and my own life. Thankfully, I don’t have to do what she does. That doesn’t work for me. If it works for her, more power to her. But all I’m trying to tell you is you’re judging without fully knowing her situation. It would be different if her children/family ended up in your caseload. It might even be different if you were the neighbors. But you’re not (or maybe you are???) If you were, then you’d have some ounce of credibility. But you don’t so mind your own business and keep it moving sistah. Peace and Love!