Forum Topic Of The Day 10.21.2008

Your Man’s Male Friend(s) Seems To Be Flirting With You..

Diamond says:

What would you do??? or Say about it? If Anything??..And would you FIRST try to assure yourself that you’re not just “imagining” it..or assuming the innuendoes are more than just innocent..”I’m just playin’…” type things…say some things are subtle almost like a whisper..BUT leaves you later going..”..”Did he just say what i thought he said,what’d he mean by that-isms” almost outright flirtatious statements. covered up in “aww Im just playin'” isms when yout try to call ’em on it..nip it.. And, what about if all of a sudden start these lil “seemingly innocent “hello, kisses”…or ‘goodbye kisses”..right now on just ya cheek…looks ‘innocent’ standing alone but coupled with theverbal flattery, compliments &”innuendoes”…

So..if your inner Red Alert Radar was going off FULL ALARM in ya gut..but no real proof but words, a ” playful??” lil touch…”over the top, too sweet,repetitive “compliments” in your opinion???…..what would you do?? say?? anything?? nothing?

UGH…Have Any of You Ladies ever had Your Man’s Friend(s) “Flirt” with you all on the DL sort of or is this situation…..Female Hormones Jumping to Craziness??

I do wonder if Men SECRETLY DEEP DOWN “like???” when their male friends say “complimentary” stuff to them about the woman their dating, married to or serious about…Is this some sort of Male Ego/Competition type thing??

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  1. I don’ t know stephy I never Imagine anything If i think, say or feel something Chances are I am…Pisces Power loool.
    My male friends are fully aware of my marriage and the right hook of my husband loool, But some of them do flirt once in a while with me, But i think Once they witness my man and i, and the affection we have towards each other , its pretty obvious that i am inaccessible, I think It all depends on if You flirt back or not, If you give them the occasion To flirt with you, Or if you talk about your marital problems….

    And yes My man best friend call me his wife and always compliment on my hair, my cooking and how shapely i am, Never to my face but i hear them Nothing disrespectful Just enough for my husband not to knock him out, Yet i swear that guy lust for me, But to my man he is in paradize when his friends tell him they wish they had a woman like Me, So it is definitely Ego boosting, Which is sad because between women One comment About my significant other and it’ s “on and poppin'”

  2. When it comes to my friends, they are very respectful towards my wife. But let me tell y’all this. I met my wife at work when we worked together. We’ve now been married for over 26 years. When a couple of health issues developed with me, I took my retirement. When I left, all of a sudden all these guys come out from under the rocks they had been under trying to hit on my wife. It’s needless to say that a few of them got cursed out all the way into next month. One got told by my wife, “If my husband is a Mercedes-Benz, why am I gonna downgrade to you and you’re nothing but a skateboard?” :lol2:

  3. I think it depends on the level of disrespect involved. People flirt and that’s just a way of life. But if your man’s friends flirt with you its up to you to dead that situation and let them know who’s number #1. Some men/woman flirt because they want to see how loyal and how far you are willing to step outside of your relationship. Sometimes its jealousy, sometimes its resentment because you’re happy. People have their motivations. But if a guy/gal is persistent, knocking your man/woman down behind their friends back then they truly aren’t friends; just the devil in disguise.

  4. That’s why I’m careful about who I call “friend”. A true blue friend is someone to be cherished because they do not come a dime a dozen; they’re rare.

  5. Well…..Welll… I think that you need to address it with you hubby or man and let them know “ol boy is tripping” just in case.” The issue is someone who is always playing is testing you. They want to see if you would “try them” and I would be careful to make sure I’m not alone with them. My thoughts…if he is just your boyfriend is he discussing intimate details? If so, that could be an issue. If he is stating my chic is “setting it out” you know what I mean…..then some men may dream about you and take it a step further. Some men see a good woman, and hear how another couple is doing well and they want that relationship. I would play it off and say…lmao You better stop before I take you seriously and I have to karate chop you….I’m funny so you never know what I’ll say but I wanna keep the conversation cool and let im know…stop playing and if your not playing keep that crap to yourself….I would always keep the lines of communication open with your whatever and let him know you had to check…so and so real nice like…..he will laugh but will keep and eye on him as you need to….lol…men kill me….

  6. That has happend to me before I married my husband. I fell asleep and I thought my husband was caressing my head and I opened my eyes and it was his friend. My husband (then boyfriend) had got up and gone to the bathroom. I told him and he spoke to him about it. His friend has since been respectful to me. I don’t play that, I will tell right away…especially if it’s obvious. Because there are some men out there that act like women and they will flip this story and say it was YOU!!!

  7. In these types of situations, it’s very important to have an open and honest conversation with your man. See if your man has had incidents happen before between his best bud and any past girls. Ask your man has his friend always been flirtacious with everyone. Tell your man what you think about his friend and if the friend makes you somewhat uncomfortable at times. I think it’s important to find a way to also tell the “friend” yourself, let him know you’d like to be cool w/o any of that awkardness or anything that could be taken out of context. But first thing would be to speak to your man about it, rather sit & wonder about the entire ordeal….

  8. If it’s just an innocent flirt then I would say nothing. If it was a little more than an innocent flirt then I would just check him and if it persist beyond that then I would tell him and request that we not go around him or be with him. I wouldn’t stop him from being friends with him I just wouldn’t be around him anymore.

  9. @Smooth Thug love that comment lol. I had a couple of my ex-boyfriend friends hit on me. I think that is so disrespectful for any person trying to hit on someone that is involve period. I have not been marriage yet (one day i hope it happen for me but i put it in god hands). But i see marriage go down the drain less in a year because people fall for that liner. Some people that get marry these day do not take there words serious for the man upstairs. That why the divorce rate is so high because that temptation is out there.

  10. @ Ms. “Lady”.
    Ms. “Lady”, recently, my nephew got married. His bride looked very beautiful, the food at the reception was delicious, and the wedding cake was so pretty. And at the wedding ceremont itself, the words of the priest were very meaningful. In part, the priest said that marriage is a “holy estate instituted by God”. I just feel sorry for the people on Divorce Court. They haven’t the slightest idea of what those words mean. You can see that Judge Toler gets so tired of them.

  11. That is where good communication between you and your man/husband is so important. You should be able to feel comfortable with coming to your husband or boyfriend about this. You know if someone is flirting with you or just giving you a compliment. I’ve had this experience before and my boyfriend at the time was understanding when I told him. I just made sure that I was not provoking anything.

    @ Smooth Thug: I love Divorce Court, especially when Judge Toler let’s them have it.

  12. A man’s “friend” does not hit (even playfully) on his wife/girlfriend, period.

    A few men may even set you up by having his “friend” hit on you to see how you would handle it, so be very careful.

    I am aware (as with most women) when a man likes me/attrected to me, but a true friend will never cross the line, and I respect that in a man.

    Should one step over the line he should be told very quickly and in a way he thoroughly understands, that you are with so and so, you have a great relationship, you have great respect for so and so, and frankly you have found everything you want and need in the man you are with. You also want to do so without a lot of “drama”, and of course you never want to break up a friendship of two men (unless it does not stop), so it is best to keep it to yourself in my opinion.

    A woman who falls for the charm of her mans “friend” is weak in my opinion, and at that point she becomes a woman any man can have. Nothing special.

  13. :lol2: mercedes and skateboard :bowdown:

  14. A woman who falls for the charm of her mans โ€œfriendโ€ is weak in my opinion, and at that point she becomes a woman any man can have. Nothing special.


  15. @Ms. “Torya”.
    Ms. “Torya”, when Judge Toler lectures the people on Divorce Court about the sanctity of marriage, you can hear how her words make so much sense.
    Let’s all think on this:
    1) Judge Toler graduated from Harvard.
    2) The first Divorce Court judge, Judge Mableen, graduated from Pomona-Pitzer College here in southern California.
    3) Judge Joe Brown graduated from UCLA.
    4) Judge Mathis graduated from Eastern Michigan University.
    5) Here’s a bonus… Michelle Obama graduated from Princeton.

  16. Whatever GetTogetha said, put me down for 2 of those. :hifive: :thumbsup:

    Also, while some people may just be naturally flirtatious, I’d like to think that respect for the friend or their spouse would win over. Just because someone CAN say or do some things, doesn’t mean they should.

  17. I’ m a flirty person, i’ m parano, opinionated and very scary at times ๐Ÿ™„ which is why i don’t “couple up” I’ m not the falling in love type, I like my freedom and the attention I get from men all types all races , However when i get married ans settle down i will not tolerate any comment, wink, or look, I’ m a huge snitch i won’ t hesitate to run and tell my man if his friends were trying anything, after they get blacked eyed up of course ๐Ÿ™‚ :lol2:

    But i don’ t even think that a woman in love can consider pleasing any other man then her own. :loser:

    What i don’ t understand and it’ s a bit off topic, it’ s married women acting, dressing,dancing,talking like they are single 18 years old hot -sses what do you all think ladies? Are you married? Would you still dance like a “-hore” tought you’re married? what kind of man let their wives “put it out” to the world in your opinion?

  18. Well, I’m extremely picking in the type of man that I flirt with, so if he’s my friend and he’s not my type, than his flirting will be ignored. Of course it would be an ego booster, since that’s really they object of the game, but that’s it. If he ain’t my type, he could flirt all day, and I would be like what ever, but if he was to get out of line, than I would tell my significant other. But, just to tell your partner about innocent flirting and get him excited and pointless. In my opinion. Now, if say the my friend was a Jason Mamoa(Lisa Bonet’s Hawaiian cutie), and I wasn’t married, than I’m sorry but the flirting would be mutual and lead to something more. lol. So, although I’m a woman, I think fidelity depends on the situation.

  19. @AntBee: Grown men don’t do that. They will not try and set you up so their friend will flirt with you to see how you react. You don’t play with people like that because you might get your feelings hurt. So no grown men don’t do that. Adults just don’t have time for that.

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