Forum Topic Of The Day 6.20.2008

Keeping A Relationship Interesting

MrsCutiePie said:

Well I feel I know everything there is to know about keeping my hubby wanting more and more and more of me… never wanting another woman. I make him his favorite meals when he gets home from work to wearing only panties, no bra around the house. I sometimes call him at work with my sexy voice and ask him out on a date… yeah a date still after 5 great years. I wanted to hear about what you many of you brothas and sistas do for your mate to keep the flames burning in your relationship… ? I may pick up a few more pointers!


  1. Well my husband is a youthful 53 and I am 29. Besides the sexual escapades we have and the stripper pole in the basement (LOL)- I cook, I clean, I work a full time job, I am going to school for my Masters in International Relations, and I have an 11 year old daugther and through all of that, I make sure that I take time to show him how much I love him. But honestly he cooks certain things better than me so most days we are both in the kitchen. And the most important thing is we share interests. I love politics and he loves sports. We genuinely get into each others interests and try to understand them. Before I met him I only kept up with college & pro football – but now I watch baseball, golf, track & field, arena football, WNBA, NBA – and he watches CNN, MSNBC & FoxNews. And another thing that helps is I give him his space and he gives me mine. He loves to fish with his brothers and I love to shop with my mom and daughter. He has children that are older than me and I treat them with respect and we all get along fine. His children have made my daughter their little sister. And our home is a NAG free zone!

  2. You ladies are my heroes. Ive only been arried for 6 months and I have been wondering what it is I need to do to have my game on lock.

    Ill be reading all the messages to get all the tips

    Nice one !!!!

  3. ya’ll plz give me sum tips. I cook for my boo, we both cook, but i do the majority, i try to do sexy lingerie every now and then, just to surprise him. give him back rubs and massage his temples when he gets a headache. give him lots of kisses and hugs and things like that, but i want to do more!! we are getting married on july 12, i’m 21 and he’s 23 so we have a lot of years to be together and i dont want to ever have the risk of either one of us getting BORED. Also this is my first relationship so i’m really needing some advice on what it takes to keep my man satisfied at all time. Please Help!lol

  4. I think asking him what he likes and doing it is important. Even things you may not care to do… it once in a while just b/c he likes it. There are times when my husband comes home and I surprise him by cooking while wearing a tank top w/no bra and these close fitting yoga pants just to make him drool. He loves it. Or if he is watching the game and I want attention I slip on some unmentionables (LOL) with high heels and walk in front of the T.V. and……game over. Food is another way, surprise him with his favorite meal. I think our relatioship is so exciting b/c we waited to do alot of things until we were married. We did not go away together until we were married and some other things too! You’ll learn each other.

  5. I am 34 and my man is 30 we have been together for 5 years and we still go out on dates all the time which we both really enjoy. I also exercise and stay fit and dress sexy but classy and try to keep myself almost exactly as I was when I meet him and he appreciates it and always tells me I am sexy and beautiful. He may acknowledge a beautiful woman from time to time because he is after all still a man, but I am not insecure at all and he is not going anywhere because I maintain and he still thinks I am hot. We talk about everything from gossip to world affairs and he always says that he enjoys talking with me because we can converse on anything and I stimulant him mentally..LOL! He also says that I challenge him which excites him and keeps him interested. I am a very strong woman with strong opinions and even when they are different than his I express thim in a respectful and clear way. He many not always agree with me but he respects and love the fact that I don’t say yes to everything he says or wants. He once dated a girl that said yes to everything and had no mind or opinion of her own and he dumped her in 1 month! My cousin also left his wife because he said she did not stimulate him mentally. Also I am very down to earth but sometimes I can be unpredictable and it is not the same thing every day which can be boring and he loves that I always keep him guessing. Just last week he told me that he still feels like when we first meet and he is just as attracted and interested! A good relationship is hard work but if you are willing to work the rewards are wonderful. I believe the key to a great relationship is stimulating mentally, emotionally and sexually. When you provide all those things to your men where else will he want to be?

  6. Oh yes, that is important…try to stay in good shape. I do Cardio 3 times a week and weight training 2-3 times a week. I would definately advise staying in as good a shape as possible. Not everyone is built like a super model but work with what you have. (Mary J Blige said work that)

  7. Exactly Liya!…work with what you have. He is attracted to what you have so just try to maintaint it as best as you can. I hope I do not offened anyone and if I do I am sorry. But it bothers me when a man meets a woman and he likes what he sees, whatever it may be and then after a while she starts gaining weight and then a little weight turns into a lot of weight! Men are very visual and he appreciates looking at sexy women, whatever that may be to him. Please exercise ladies and be healthy and let that sexy woman be you.

  8. This is so positive sistaz, we are sharing adfvize that is useful for us all.

    The one or two tips that I have are:

    Be friends-sometimes we get so caught up on being wives and girlfriends that we forget to be friends. It is sooo important and it strenghtens the bond.

    2nd tip- PRAY, because after all is said and done a relationship that does not include God is one with no real future. A praying woman is loving woman

  9. Godilox, I forgot to mention that I dont’ know how I did that but that is soo important. We were both raised in a firm (but good) Christian family and that is why we waited to do certain things like take trips etc. Prayer is so important and let me tell you, if we let more than 3 days go by without praying…….there is such a difference and not a positive one LOL LOL!!! But a relationship with out God is tough.

  10. Mrs jones congrats on your wedding….getting married on my bday…..

    but these are some interesting tips…i will be keeping these in mind….

    also it never hurts 2 just ask your man what he wants….his answers may surprise you because they may turn out 2 be the simplest thing.

  11. You ladies are amazing. I am single but the advice youre giving is definitely something to keep in mind when Mr. Right comes along. πŸ™‚

  12. @ Tanya

    Huh?? I don’t even see my name in your post. Anyway its cool πŸ˜‰

  13. I love the advice that everyone is offering. I am not married, but have been in a relationship for two years with someone who is 10 years younger than I am. But it was getting so boring that I just wanted to end it and do more charity work and working with my kids at school. I will take the advice because he is a late bloomer and doesn’t have much experience with relationships much less a woman who is ten years older than he is. I felt like I had to be his teacher, which I did not want to do because I teacher elementary school kids at work. Needless to say, thank you everyone for your input. I am getting excited about following your leads just reading the comments.

  14. @ Surabi-
    If there is anything redeeming about your relationship try not to give up. I meet my boyfriend when he was 22 and I was 26 and eventhough it was only 4 years difference he was at a different place emotionally and mentally than I was but were were friends first and I did have to teach him a lot of things because he did not have the experience…but now it is so worth it. He is 30 and I am 34 and he is the man I always knew he could be!

    Also I wanted to add in general that an important part of our relationship is that we laugh together all the time. We even try to find comedy in situations that are not so great. Laughter is good becuase it relieves so much stress and you just get a chance to act goofy with your man.

    Also another thing we go away for little weekend trips and stay at a hotel maybe every 2 months or so. No where far maybe 1 hour drive from where we live just to have the feeling of being somewhere totally different than home and just enjoying each other’s company.

  15. I am about to get married in September after being a single independent woman for nearly ten years. I am not going to lie, but when we first got together, I felt smothered because we were together all of the time and I wasn’t used to getting this kind of attention. But, because we have great communication skills, we were able to talk about what we both wanted in the relationship. I was honest and let him know that I will need my space at times because I have to have my me time. He knows that because I was single for a long time and self-sufficient, that I am set in my ways.

    I am not one who has to be up underneath a man 24/7, but we are friends, have good communication and date night every Friday. This is all still very new to me, so I do look forward to any advice that you experience married ladies can give me.

  16. I love the tips. I am in a new relationship and its refreshing to see couples still working it out!

  17. wow, did you ladies read my mind? Just the other day I was thinking about this topic. Now, I’m not yet married, but have been with my fine Brothah for nearly two years. I am constatly trying to think of ways to let him know that I love him and when the time is right not only am I wife material, but neither he nor our children will ever have to want for anything. I also am slowly learning that men say they want one thing…but in reality they have no idea!! LOL. I also have done the whole “cook his favorite meal”– for the past year my G. Garvin cookbook stayed forever at my side!! LOL but yeah…i also did the whole lingere thing, but shoot I could be wearing my holiest draws and he would still be pawing at me! I too want to know what would make a man feel *special*, that no other woman has done for him (or to him, if you know what i mean!), that would show him my love is like noooo other, and of course to keep things interesting for us both! πŸ™‚ The sharing interests thing is really important too…next week i’m going to try having us read a book together.

  18. Ms. “KSH”, you keep enjoying your husband, your marriage, and go get that degree.

  19. Has a man spoken in this post yet? Surely men must do things as well to keep their wives interested- or do they? Hmmmmm….

  20. I usually like to take the time and just do something’s he likes to do for a change since he is always accommodating me I return the favor. Even if it’s laying around and watching ESPN all night long, as long as Im in his arms I can tell he’s happy.

  21. Ms. “Stephanie”, if you want a comment from a man, here it goes. Again, to keep things interesting between me and my wife, I do the simple, easy, romantic things. For example: we’ve been having a heat wave in Los Angeles for about 4 or 5 days now; every day has been over 95 degrees. Yesterday, when she got home from work, I surprised her by taking her out to the beach, paid for something for us to eat at Chipotle ’cause that’s her favorite place. We spent the rest of the evening just walking barefoot by the water talking and laughing. Hey, what can I say… it’s too hot to cook. And as I said, there are times when I’ll surprise her with another song for her that I sing myself. One of the songs I like sing to her is called “I Need Someone”. It’s a romantic, Doo-Wop sounding, old school slow jam. As I play the guitar, I sing these words to her…
    I know, I know I need someone
    Someone to hold each night
    Someone to squeeze real, real tight
    Darling can that someone be you
    I know, I know I need someone
    Someone to love each day
    Even though dark clouds come our way
    Darling can that someone be you
    (Now comes the bridge)
    I don’t know what it was that got me this way
    Maybe it’s because you’re so sweet and kind
    Or maybe it was the night I held you oh so tight
    Or it could be my heart knows more than I
    (Last verse).
    It knows, it knows I need someone
    Someone to hold each and every night
    Someone to squeeze real, real tight
    Darling can that someone be…… you
    She loves it when I sing her a romantic song. Our sex is easy going and conserative. But here’s what we love to do. I like to put a romantic CD, like something by Anita Baker, in the CD player, then put the earphones on my wife so she can listen to romantic music while we do our THANG, Y”ALL!!! It drives her wild!!! Y’all know what I’m sayin’?

  22. I prayed to meet someone special and God blessed me with a wonderful man. Prayer is important because it keeps us grounded, humble and grateful and we make a choice not to take the other for granted. I am reading all the advice and taking notes.

  23. Tonya, thank you so much for your comments. You are right about the redeeming part because he is way better than any guy I have ever met and he does a lot of things that no one has ever done for me. Maybe I was getting besides myself. Sometimes people who haven’t been treated fairly in relationships give up on themselves and count someone out before they have a chance to show them kindness and love. So I will hang in there. Thanks BrownSista.

  24. I don’t mean no disrespect Smooth Thug but it is really kind of bothersome having to scroll past your posts with those lyrics written everytime. It makes your posts really long. Please stop attaching those lyrics to all your posts πŸ™‚

  25. I like this site. Although I’ve had intense crushes, I’ve never had a boyfriend [my choice directly & indirectly lol. I’m content with my decision]. It’s great to hear advises from women who are experienced in this subject, for when my time comes…I’ll say no more lol

  26. Great advice, thanks to all. I’m single but when I find prince charming I’ma be prepared. Not to be crude but I’m shocked that noone has given tips on how to keep it interesting in the boudoir. Since it’s one of the reasons couples split up I’ll share…I heard at a baby shower that Kegel exercises are the way to go especially after giving birth. I was also the recipient of some Ben-wa balls that I will keep in storage until the need arises. I’ve heard some good things about them, you might wanna look into those. If you aint into exercising I got tip just last week that soaking in bath water with Alum will also help tighten you up. Donno for sure and I certainly don’t want anyone taking my word for it and getting a nasty reaction but my friend swore by it. Do your research and keep it fun!

  27. @Smooth Thug

    I have to keep it interesting. My husband is my King. No matter how much education I get or how much money I make – he is still number the head of the household. And as long as he treats me like a Queen I will give him King treatment always. And your wife is lucky to be romanced like that!

    And keeping in shape is a good idea too!

  28. @ Philly Phil

    Girlfriend, PLEASE don’t do anymore right now. You’re doing too much as his girlfriend. Give him something to work for and look forward to. Let him figure out ways to make you want to be his wife.

  29. @ Smokie

    LOL…..I was thinking the exact same thing….

  30. @ Smokie and Cheryl,

    I’m keeping that in mind. Maybe it’s that old “cow/free milk” saying, and i’m just milking myself, rolling it in salt and serving it to him like ice cream! lol.

    But forreal…maybe that’s what the problem is…lol maybe i look too desparate for him! Lawd KNOWS i don’t want that! Maybe that’s the kind of knowledge that comes with experience. i’m only 20, this is my first serious relationship and of course I’m head over heels, but maybe I need to “Cool it now, better slow it down (ooOOooOOoo, watch out!) I’m gonna fall in love!” lol

  31. @Philly Phil

    Take your time! He should desire you just as much as you desire him. You shouldn’t have to try so hard and prove that you are wife material. Just be yourself and let it be a natural progression. You most definitely do not want to appear to be desperate. πŸ™‚

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