Gabrielle Unions Reps For The Ladies

Gabrielle Union Mens Magazine Photo Shoot (2) We women love to talk about men and about sex. Graphically, enthusiastically. For us, it was a natural progression from slumber-party gossip about cute boys to happy-hour dishing of bedroom details. It’s almost impossible for us to over share.

We listen, advise, criticize, and analyze. And laugh a lot. It’s a bonding ritual, says sexuality researcher Debby Herbenick, Ph. D., the author of Because It Feels Good. “it helps women find out what’s normal or not.”

When Men’s Health surveyed more than 400 women about sex talk, the eager responses surprised (and dismayed) some editors — the male editors, that is. We even asked Gabrielle Union, whose new show FlashForward premieres on ABC this fall, to share her thoughts on the topic.

“When you’re in the dating phase,” she says, “you tell your friends everything. Was it big? Did he know what to do with it? Is he into oral? Everything. The dissection is complete.”

Are you cringing yet? Do you have to impress not only one woman but a whole group of them? Relax — and use this information. Here are the five topics women talked about most freely in our survey, and advice on how to become the kind of guy we love to brag about. Plus Gabrielle’s take, since we know you’re curious.

Via: Mens Health Magazine

Personality
Gabrielle: “Don’t be a know-it-all. Those are the worst, and they are talked about the worst.”
Here’s reason to relax: Your personality and your chemistry with her are more likely to be discussed than how you performed sexually. “I’ll tell my friends if a guy is playful and fun and doesn’t take things too seriously,” says Janna, 23. Miriam, 21, concurs: “We bitch if a guy doesn’t have a sense of humor.”
Win her approval: Lighten the mood. “Laughter, in some ways, is like an orgasm,” says Janice Levine, Ph. D., a psychologist in Lexington, Massachusetts, and the editor of Why Do Fools Fall in Love?”It helps release the tension that can come with first time sex.” If matters don’t proceed smoothly in bed, laugh it off without making any cracks about her specifically. Sarcasm can be taken the wrong way.

Appearance
Gabrielle: “I’m not saying you need to look like a Crest commercial, but I hope you floss.”
You and your buddies aren’t the only ones who discuss superficial appearances. “God forbid he doesn’t take care of himself — we rip on him,” says Jenni, 36. Your gym time will pay off, too: “I’m going to want to brag about how hot he is,” says Victoria, 28.
Win her approval: Of course she wants to be attracted to you. “But it’s also important to her to convince her friends that the man she’s had sex with is good-looking,” says Gordon Patzer, Ph. D., author of Looks: Why They Matter More Than You Ever Imagined. If her pals lust over you, it boosts her ego. So think clean — clothes, body, scent. Being in shape is important, but a recent survey by the research firm Synovate reveals that poor hygiene can detract from even the most ripped set of abs.

Attentiveness
Gabrielle: “Nobody wants to feel like just a vessel. You want equal participation, so it’s not ’68 and I owe ya one.’ ”
Pay attention to her desires. “This is big to me,” says Ashley, 25. “It makes me feel less used, so I let my girls know.” A chorus of women echoed her sentiments. “This speaks to more than just sex; it’s about how we connect,” says Karen, 32. For Kelly, 27, it’s a barometer of character: “It makes a man seem very sweet if he’s attentive, and like a selfish jerk if he’s not.”
Win her approval: We don’t want a wimp. “Some men think they’re being attentive, but they’re really being tentative,” says sex therapist Sandor Gardos, Ph. D., the founder of MyPleasure.com. “They touch her hesitantly and wait to see what she does. That’s not very sexy.” Be confident, not aggressive. Make your moves without apology, but watch and listen to gauge what she likes. Or just ask!

Oral Skills
Gabrielle: “If it’s a choice between a man who gives flowers and a man who enjoys giving oral, most women would take the oral. And it’s free. Oral sex is recession-proof.”
Women will dish whether you’re awesome or awful. But at least try. “There’s nothing more disappointing than a man who doesn’t try or is just clueless,” says Katy, 28. “If he’s great, I’m thrilled and want to spill to my friends. If he was terrible, I want someone to sympathize.”
Win her approval: Be eager. “It makes a big difference if you’re showing authentic enthusiasm. Women read that,” says Gardos. Michelle, 25, told us that she and her friends compare notes on “how involved he was” during oral sex. Too many men focus only on intercourse, Gardos says. But a 2006 Australian study found that far more women are able to reach orgasm with oral sex than through intercourse alone.

Control
Gabrielle: “If both people can climax quickly, sex doesn’t need to go on for 2 hours — at some point, Law & Order is coming on! But it’s terrible if a man is 2 minutes and you’re nowhere close.”
Breathe easy, men: If you don’t last long, women are generally forgiving — provided you make up for it. “Only if things ended immediately afterward would I ever say he didn’t last very long,” says Victoria, 28. “If he’s a one-pump and done, it does get talked about,” admits Janna, 23, “but if he makes up for it later that night or in the morning, I’ll have only good things to say.” And again, personality matters: “If we like him, we make excuses for him,” says Paula, 20. “If we don’t like him, we make fun of him. Harsh, but true.”
Win her approval: If you climax quickly, resist the panicked urge to explain. (We see through the classic, “This never happens to me, I swear.”) “Instead, make it about how sexy she is and how much she’s turned you on, not about how you aren’t in control,” says Herbenick. Then make sure she gets her turn.

Gabrielle Union Mens Magazine Photo ShootGabrielle Union Mens Magazine Photo Shoot (1)

18 Comments

  1. Yeah Gabrielle, you should know that’s probably what makes you such a good home wrecker.

  2. She’s gorgeous- um but y r u naked?? Oh i forget its 2010 naked is the new sexy.

  3. @Truthteller apparently. Because I don’t understand why she is naked for this article. You don’t need to do all that to attract a man. If a man is interested in you and that’s that. You don’t have to be half naked. You actually can be fully dressed and he will still be interested. Men like the chase.

  4. Being naked to some extent is an ART. just like music, paintings, acting etc. it a beautiful thing.

  5. Lol I dont know what to say. She’s kinda weird.
    I dont get why shes naked either.

  6. I’m sorry but I wouldn’t take advice from her. She’s an athlete groupie, hopping from one black athlete to the next. I’m sure she would know…

  7. @12345-lol ur a guy so i see why you have that point-just playing wit ya-but serious tho-

  8. @ BEE

    This is crazy. I guess all the black actresses think that if dropping the panties for white men can get her an oscar, it will get them one too, but they are wrong. Then isn’t she caught up in some homewrecking drama? This is the wrong time for this mess anyway.

  9. @ruserious- but foreal though u dnt think being naked is an art? have you ever seen pregnant woman take pics nekkid or the mom,dad, and newborn take pics nekkid?

  10. @12345- Of course, God made it and everything he made is beautiful, but the naked body is not meant to seduce or showcase for the world. im not gonna talk from a worldy point of view-im gonna talk from my faith- that gift-a person’s body is meant ONLY 4 the husband or wife to see. Im not gonna judge cuz i use 2 wear revealing clothes until i found Him. No, im not sinless, no i have my flaws, but i learned how to feel shame, blush. We don’t blush anymore, where is the shame in our society?? What happened 2 feeling uncomfortable with your breasts or butt hanging out. No embarrassment-nothing. Anything goes now. Then we wonder why our kids( i mean kids of all races) are out of their minds. Now when i put on sumthing i actually evaluate it-am i showing too much? My goal isn’t to seduce men, i don’t want to cause my brother to stumble, meaning i don’t want 2 provoke men to think lustful thoughts. i hope i don’t come off high and mighty-cuz im not, but our society is waaay oversexed. I work with junior high-the influence society has on them is horrific. Modesty is beautiful, a woman that loves herself so much she will not expose herself. Like the Almighty said. “A beautiful woman without discretion, is like a gold ring in a pig’s snout.” Now tell me He ain’t wise- look at that statement-He is saying, when a beautiful woman exposes herself, she is really hiding her real jewels-respect, inner beauty-her beauty becomes distasteful, unattractive.

  11. @12345- i don’t know ur faith but if you claim uno Jesus, can we really contend with his wisdom. His ways are above ours-He knows what he is saying-trust. He knows the ramification of a society based on ran on sex and lust. You can see the ramifications all around us.

  12. um… is she acting somewhere? i mean, the pics were nice and the article was cool but… if she’s not acting, she’s not really relevant so can she just go get a script already?

  13. @12345-you shouldn’t be. you already know where im coming from-everybody go right- i go left. i don’t got time to conform to the ways of this world anymore.Cuz when you watch the news-nuff said. of course when you do that-you ain’t tryna get popularity points, which i ain’t.

  14. @12345-no offense but you can’t ask me questions cuz my answers are gonna sound foreign 2u. We in different worlds regarding are mindsets-sorrrrry.

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