get togetha: the art of intimacy.

living well: love is work, commitment and intimacy.

Get Togetha thinks the word “intimacy” scares the BeJesus out of sistas cause its something that is so lacking in our everyday lives. Where did we go wrong in admitting that we need love just as much as any other human being? Women thrive on intimacy! It makes us feel alive and its how bonds are created. We hate feeling like we’re being used for that three letter word, we crave romance and don’t wanna always have to give up some booty to get it in the end. Examples of love are all around us but the truth of the matter is that it takes behind the scene’s work to make it last. Here’s 13 Get Togetha’s living tips on bringing back the art intimacy. Be forewarned. Some tips are controversial.
  1. Slow dance with your man. Remember that Love Jones scene where they slow danced?
  2. Wear heels. Men love heels. And I don’t care what you think.
  3. A foot rub. A scalp rub. A back rub. Or all three.
  4. Have him give you a pedicure and paint your toenails. Red.
  5. Have him read you your favorite poem.
  6. Tell him Β to write you a love letter.
  7. Have him cook you dinner with an apron on.
  8. Have him pour you a glass of champagne or wine.
  9. Whisper conversation in each other’s ear by candle light.
  10. Stare into each others eyes for a minute and a half. It will seem like an eternity.
  11. A long walk holding hands is priceless.
  12. Stop having sex. Yeah said it. Sometimes the best remedy is to stop having sex and become friends again. Sex doesn’t not equal intimacy. Sex can be a part of intimacy. Please don’t confuse the two.

Throw your comment in the box and add your 2 cents.

21 Comments

  1. I’ve done #1 and #2 several times. #4 is a little to “soft” for my likes. I would love to do #6…I think I will suggest that tonight or this weekend and I plan to do #11 on the beach when the weather gets warmer. #12 might be the death of my relationship! LOL

  2. I’ve tried everything except for #7. My husband cooks dinner, but not with an apron. Maybe for Valentine’s Day I’ll ask him to cook dinner instead of going out, but make sure he is wearing nothing but the apron, hmmm.

  3. I am a brown sista who feels #12 is really important, nowadays when you don’t give a little booty your seen as a weridooo or sumtin….I had someone tell me that …if I don’t give him any….he can get it somewhere else, please tell our brothas to treat us sista’s with respect….were not all hoodrats! :brownsista:

  4. I agree with the last comment #12. It is very important that we as brown women withold a standard for ourselves. This will minimize a lot of issues that we go through such as fatherless children, lack of education, poverty, etc. When we let men know the we have expectations of them, it dismisses alot of low standard men. Remember…to get respect from men we first respect ourselves ladies. Stay brown and beautiful.

  5. This is my opinion, I’m a person who loves to analyze other people, I look deeply at communication, i.e. verbal and non verbal. And to be honest, the Obamas are the only couple that impress me as far as intimacy is concerned. If I could marry a man that shamelessly PDA and careless who see it, and lights up whenever he says my name, that is what I want. I maybe wrong but I don’t see the same attraction or love or visible PDA between Will and Jadas as with the Obamas. Pres. Obama acts like he can’t wait to have Mrs. Obama alone in a room, and that’s the kind of intimacy I want.

  6. I agree with number 12 but don’t be foolish or naive enough to think your boyfriend, husband or fiance won’t get it somewhere else. Sometimes we think our men are patient and faithful and the reality is they’re getting their needs met elsewhere. Men are physical beings and they can easily separate sex and love.

    You can’t control other people’s actions – no matter how much love and respect is there!

  7. I don’t think the tips are controversy at all. They all make perfect sense to me are truly are the keys to winning a woman’s heart and making us feel valuable and comfortable.

  8. @Bohwe, I concur, a picture is worth a thousand words. Your mouth can lie, but your body cannot.

    With regards to #12, I agree! I feel that more of us need to reign in our control over our bodies. This is NOT to be left up to a man. When we value ourselves enough to stop accepting ultimatums e.g. “I can get it elsewhere”, we take back our emotional control. Besides, just like he can, so can we! We CAN find a partner who is willing to respect our boundaries, and to value the quiet moments that are not necessarily physically stimulating.

    Personally, my sweetie and I choose to utilize my time of “woman’s blessing” (his words, lol) as a time to rediscover other facets of our intimacy. We go for walks, cook for each other, have intellectual debates (VERY sexy!!!), watch movies, and just enjoy one another’s company. This is not a form of punishment or something that I use to gain power over him with my body, its our way of establishing and demonstrating our appreciation for one another.

    I also feel that this time off creates even more sparks for us, and gives us both a sense of togetherness. We know that we can be many things to one another, and that we can be in one accord mentally, spiritually, emotionally AND physically. πŸ™‚

    Love y’all, and Love Get Togetha’s posts, keep them coming!!!

  9. Love the “icons of love” pictures.

    Since I don’t have a man, I will save your pointers and pull them out when needed–really soon, I hope.

  10. I love #12. I did that about a year ago and now I am learning to love my boyfriend. We started having sex at the beginning of the relationship and after a few months together I was ready to get rid of him. It was because I never got to know him before we became intimate. But he has done #3 and #7. I will work on the others. Thanks for the tips. And Aaliyah the person who told you that needs to understand that people will mess around if they want to whether or not you give them any or not. That is their choice, but I do believe that sex is overrated and people need to get over it and learn some self control and self respect.

  11. @ Darksista, yeah we know you don’t do number 12…….You just had twins :lol2: I’m just poking fun (no pun intended) πŸ˜† I crack myself up. Any how, my husband and I do 1-3. I love slow dancing with my baby πŸ™‚ Sometimes we just turn off the TV, Radio and lights and we just talk about goals and things that make us happy, I’m truly blessed to have him. I am glad you displayed the pictures of love. So many women who have been hurt paint a bad picture about all men. I don’t have the perfect relationship but I know mine is real. So real love does exist it just doesn’t always come in a “Tiffany Box”

  12. You know what this type of love must exist cause people keep talking about it. I jsut haven’t found it yet. When I do, I will let you know. πŸ™

  13. Love this post GT…I have a man this Valentine’s day…. :hifive: …finally. lol…I’m pretty sure this is it for me!!! We’ve tried everything except # 2, #4 & #5.
    Pearlsrevealed & Mzlady…he is out there and he’ll come when you least expect it. I made a list of 9 qualities (not physical traits!) I absolutely wanted in a guy, prayed on it and forgot all about it. I completely stopped kissing frogs, doing the Mr Right-Nows and concentrated on myself. 3+ years later I got a man who is “the list ” and more. Love is out there. I’m a believer. Happy V-day.

  14. liyah : HEY :lol2: girl is you taking jabs at me πŸ™ I’ m telling :lol2: Hey my man is always on me what i’ m i spose to do *miley cirus voice* πŸ˜†

  15. LOL @ Dark Sista, sounds like u got Obama drama, Barak is always up on Michelle, bet they have a lil’ one on the way too…

    But hey, its good to be loved! πŸ™‚

  16. my husband has been incarcerated for two and a half years. most people would just walk away cuz he left me with three kids and that is un heard of a woman sticking by her man, but i tell u we still together cuz all those reasons up top, i would never ever leave him

  17. he is incarcerated cuz he was in the streets and he got too hot and the police caught up with him. i put it out there like that cuz, everything listed up top we have done for each other, he is my fried my love. i believe god created him for me. despite his mistakes, one thing i wont mistaken is he loves me we had this love before he got taken away. u dont have to be faous, that michelle/obbama love exist in regular people. he will be home soon and w just gone pickup where we eft off, but this time make our relationship solid by tying that not.

  18. So he left you and three kids home to be on the street, being hot and got caught up by the police, and now you are a single mother raising three kids putting your life on hold for him ? :bowdown: i could not do it

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