Girl, Leave Her Man Alone

Girl Leave Her Man Alone Girl Leave Her Man Alone is a book written by Dionne Mahaffey. It centers around women who sleep with other woman’s men and the reasons why. It also has a intent focus on women working together and building on a sisterhood where principles and morals would not allow a woman to feel comfortable enough to sleep with another woman’s man. It would be almost like breaking a code or law created and maintained by women. Hmm, I like it but is this possible? Although the idea seems noble the execution of it may seem futile to most. Extra marital affairs have been going on since the beginning of time. However, I applaud Mahaffey for speaking this theory of a woman’s evolution, so to speak into existence.

I also commend Mahaffey for her moral obligations because they seem to be very closely linked to mine. I would and have never knowingly messed around with another woman’s man. In my case the reasons were a combination of morality and egoism. I always felt like I was too fly to have to play second to any woman or to have to share. Why do that when I could have my own? I always felt like I was worth that and above having half a man. However, other women do not live by that code. Although I do see this as a two to tango situation, I like Mahaffey, have to also put a level of moral responsibility on the woman. Before you go with the “Girl! You trying to blame the woman like most women do” allow me to break it down for you. As a woman, you should know that some men are dogs and will cheat if given the opportunity. If only there were more women who did not offer themselves up to these men who they knew were involved. If the man has no one who will take him up on his fresh serving of sausage then what can he do but go home to his wife with his tail between his legs. Can you imagine the impact it would make if no woman agreed to give up the honey pot to an involved man? Men all around the world would be forced to stay home and spend their free time with their wives/girls/families. Aww, that’s too bad (laughing victoriously).

For example, what if instead of Alicia Keys agreeing to dating married Producer Swizz Beatz she obliged by the rules of sisterhood and said “Oh no buddy, no can do. I will not help you cheat on your wife. If you are unhappy with your wife and want to leave her then that is your personal choice but you need to make that clear to her and completely end things with her first. In fact, I refuse to date or see you in any kind of way until you handle whatever needs to be done with her in either direction. Sorry buddy. Take care of your home.” Leaving Mashonda no room to feel slighted by Alicia Keys or possibly her husband. This route would force them to have to ultimately do right. This is why I commend Mahaffey for this book. Although it does not take the responsibility away from the man it does remind the women of how much control they truly have. A fact that I think we often forget. I can recall an older man once telling me that women have no idea how much power we possess over a man. We just offer our power up to them on a platter to keep them around for fear that whatever we do not oblige to, another woman will. Here is the key, what if there was not another woman that would because we were all on the same page? This is the teaching that Mahaffey offers.

Some may see this post as unavailing because they believe that there will never come a day when women around the world can come together and agree that they see assisting a man in cheating on his wife, breaking up his home, and perhaps ruining another person’s life as morally degrading to them and therefore something that they simply will not do. They will in turn leave comments like “girl please!” and insist that I am trying to place blame on the women, therefore missing the whole point of my entry and blah blah blah. Sigh. I know this and I am sure Mahaffey does too. There is always wishful thinking.

Peep Mahaffey Discussing Her Book below.

By: LJ Knight
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13 Comments

  1. OMG I totally agree with this article, and I am the same exact way. I have too mych respect for MYSELF, let alone another woman, especially another black women. I was cheated on by my fiance with a woman who lived right behind me and who he got pregnant. Oh yes I’ve been though it but thats my testimony and I can ultimately say “Thankyou Jesus!”…now, lol! Not then I couldnt, and as much as i blamed the man i blamed her too because she knew about me and our son. She had no respect for herself or anyone else, and allowed a man to treat her like nothing. i wish women can come together, but i dont think we ever will. there will always be a woman out there, like kim from the atl housewives who think marriage is just a sheet of paper, or who think the men are actually gonna leave there wives and kids 4 them, or the women who dont care as long as there getting what they want.

  2. Yeah I agree @1715098, this whole Alicia thing has become beyond redundant. If you are going to call her out then don’t forget to mention several others. Alicia like several Black celebrity women is dating a married man who is seperated from his wife and is in the process of a divorce. Guess what? So did Mary J. Blige, yes Kendu was married with 3 children when he and Mary moved in together. Even recently his 18 year old daughter from a relationship before his first wife, spoke about it on Twitter and people basically told her to shut up, that she was looking for publicity. While Mary admitted to it after they got married (Essence interview), I don’t remember Mary getting slammed anywhere close like Alicia is. In the article she mentioned that Kendu had to convince her that she didn’t break up his marriage but who says his wife didn’t feel otherwise. The only difference is that we didn’t hear from her. Gabrielle Union also dated Dwayne Wade while he was married but seperated and she got a few posts at most, now that I believe his divorce is final, people are celebrating them as a couple. Nobody complained about Kimora dating and getting pregnant by another man while still legally married. Why not? What type of example is that for her daughters? The truth is, whether we agree with it or not, women and men date while they are seperated from their spouse. Some are getting a divorce and some aren’t.

  3. This philosophy will never work because women have their self esteem wrapped up in how men feel about them. Women feel good when men give them attention and they feel twice as good when taken men give them attention. Women also love to talk about how they so fine that they can take so and so’s man. Man stealing make’s women feel superior to other women and as long as it does it will never cease.

  4. Black women are some of the most scandalous man hungry women in the world. Never ask a Black woman to respect herself or another woman because she will never do it. When sistas see men they want they go after them point blank no questions asked. This topic isn’t about Alicia and Mashonda, they are only used as examples. You guys are the ones dwelling on them because you all want to excuse Alicia’s behavior, most likely because some of you are doing the exact same thing. The author of the book makes some valid points but ultimately this issue is about respect for self and others and like I said sistas just ain’t trying to hear that when it comes to getting a man they want.

  5. Caren and Stacey I agree 100%. There are so many women out here with low self-esteem. They think if the man is giving them the attention they can get him and change him. However, it does not work like that because that same man will eventually do the same thing to her. Its ice cream and cake when someone else is being hurt and stepped on but when the tables turn a lot of women put their own selves in certain predicaments. This universe is designed as to where you have to give what you expect to receive. If you want respect and love then you have to show it.

  6. It’s not just black women, women do this regardless. White women go after the man they want, they wrote the book! Asian women aren’t shy either.

    Women should respect another woman’s home and that includes her husband.

    Unfortunately, “passion has no conscious.”

    As for Alicia Keys, she’s not the first or the last to date a married man. Still no one has facts, just a one-sided story.

    Karma is real, so she’ll pay! We can’t punish her enough, she’s already paid a dear price for this love of her life and she’ll know that other woman’s pain if it’s so.

    As mean as black women are on these blogs, I can’t imagine most of them waiting until a man was COMPLETELY divorced before they would date them, really? It’s commonplace and that doesn’t make it right, but makes it normal to date and sleep with someone while they’re going through a divorce. Something that can take some time, depending on the circumstances and the parties involved.

  7. I am in a similiar situation with a man that is 16yrs my elder. We have been “seeing” each other for 8months and he is now saying that he loves me,and is unhappy at home. He never makes me any promises to leave his girlfriend of 8yrs. I know that I need to leave him alone because my feelings are so deep now and all I am getting is some di**. It is so hard to walk away.

  8. WOW WOW WOW I THINK EVERYONE OR ALOT OF PEOPLE HAD MESS AROUND WITH SOMEONE MAN OR WOMAN. AT THE END IS IT WORTH IT NOOOOOO. I THINK WITH ME GETTING OLDER AND WISER I CAN NOT DO IT. EVEN IF HE FINE ASS WINE OR HAVE MONEY LIKE DONALD TRUMP IF HE MARRIED IM NOT DOING IT.BECAUSE IF I GET MARRIED I DO NOT WANT IT DONE TO ME. SO I RESPECT THE WIFE IN ANY TYPE OF MARRIED. I HAVE MY PRIDE. NOW IF HE WAS SINGLE THAT A DIFFERENT STORY. BUT WE AS BLACK WOMEN NEED TO TAKE A STEP BACK LOOK AT THE WHOLE PICTURE. SOMETIME YOU BE THE ONE HOLDING THE SH*TTY BAG.

  9. This topic is so tired ladies. So many speak of self esteem and yet want to be with men that need to be policed by absolute strangers so that they can keep their pants zipped up. Serioulsy??? Donr expect other woman to ‘watch’ your man for you, he should be doing that out of choice. Exepcting it from other women (most of whom are either lonely, just wanna get laid, desperate, insecure etc etc)is ridiculous. They owe u nothing, he however does.

    The sistahood concept is lovely but we still have a long way to go. Women need to sort out their issues among themselves before they can even have a discussion about a man. Love you, respect you- what other women choose to do out there is their bizness, what your man chooses to do out there is also his bizness. It becomes your bizness when u find out he’s been up to some ish, then again its your call to choose the right thing for you.

    How can we even speak of a sistahood when there are women out there that dont respect themselves,who do u think you are to someone who doesnt love them? Let’s wake up people!!!

  10. This article was just to way to throw a jab at A. Keys, cuz I’m lost on where this book and article is going. Women need to stop messing with them kind of man thinking they changing somebody.

  11. is this a plot to dethrown A.Keys….what about Jada Pinket Smith do we excuse her actions,arent we hypocryts?….who wud you blame if your man is unhappy and emotionaly distant but has never cheated in his life? if all he ever does is: work too much just to avoid you,choose his buddies over you,watch sport and play golf all day,drink,etc…the other woman is an EFFECT not a CAUSE,it might not be your fault but if you are a secured,self-loving woman you wudnt be fighting for a person who dsnt treat you right,if its not your fault then he has got issues they are not yours let him go the other woman is big enough to deal with her own karma and her karma shudnt be your concern at all.

  12. I mean whatever people may think otherwise but this will always happen. Nobody is perfect & theres lots of shady people out there. I suggest people just deal with it. Don’t put to much trust in people. Monogamous relationships are the hardest. There will always be a woman out there that will gladly mess around with a married man. Why are some women so damn thick anyway ? Know your man, or get over it. People put too much trust in others.

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