Have you ever thought to yourself—how in the world did I allow myself to date this person? What exactly was I thinking when I thought this was a good idea? Lord knows I’ve been there. Lucky for me, not only was I able to get out quickly and unharmed, I can look back now and laugh at some of the foolish decisions I made.
For instance, Yuck-Mouth. It was a summer night and he was sitting inside his parked car outside of the club. Fail #1, he waited outside for the “let-out” in his car. I hate that.com. Now usually I don’t do this (R.Kelly voice) but I definitely had a few drinks and I social butterflied my way over to his car–not him. It was a sexy gold drop top Lexus and to be honest I just wanted to take a ride in it. At the time, I had a two door Eclipse that ran on prayers and prayers alone. I gave him my number. Now as I’ve told my friends, it was too dark for me to do a full canvas of the situation so I think that earns me a few sympathy points. Because thats exactly what I needed when he met me for dinner.
Sigh. This fool had a mouth full of gold teeth, circa Cash Money Juvenile. Lets just say that for the rest of the night I gave him plenty of eye contact. The night became even more interesting when he asked me how to pronounce asparagus [uh-spare-a-gus]. We went over it several times only to conclude that he didn’t like it.
He capped the night of with a classic story that all women should hear on a first date. He drove up on his ex-girlfriend and screamed at her and the guy in her passenger seat because she said she wasn’t dating anyone else. OMGee! He had a dead serious face.
I could not get out of that restaurant fast enough! It was so unreal. I jumped in my bucket and couldn’t wait to conference my girls. “Girl, send him back now!” My friends joked. No mistake that they were wrong for letting me give him my number in the first place but definitely right when they said move on. I know too many people who overlook red flags.
Have you ever heard crazy stories and thought, “why didn’t she send him back a long time ago?” And where are we sending them? Back to where they came from! I personally believe the sooner you get rid of characters, the less likely you’ll fall for or fall in love with them.
Need more examples of the types you should send back? Here’s what you should look out for during the initial dating phase:
Men– if he doesn’t pay for the first date (at least) send him back.
Women– if she never offers to pay for anything or is already asking you to pay her bills or take her shopping, send her back!
Men- if he can’t wear dress shoes with a suit, send him back quick!
Women- if she won’t shave, has a dirty car (inside is the bigger issue) and has a dirty house (bathroom and kitchen are the bigger issues), send her back!
Men- if he has no ambition (even a promotion at Staples) send him back. How can he afford a family?
Women- if she has no intention on going anywhere but to the mall with her paycheck, send her back!
Men & Women: If they don’t want to wear condoms—send them back!
Of course, these are just a few reasons why you should send someone back to where they came from! I could go on and on—but I won’t!