He Cheated, Now What?

There is clear evidence that your husband/boyfriend has disrespected your relationship. You have had an uneasy feeling that something isn’t right between the two of you lately- which drives you to start snooping around. Now you have found yourself checking voicemails, text messages and e-mail. Ah-ha! You have stumbled onto what you have been looking for; but now that you see it, is this truly what you wanted to find? E-mails of conversations with other women that are obviously more than just platonic friends, even meeting dates they have had. What do you do? Will you approach him about this? But wait- you snooped so are you in the wrong to say something? Maybe you will just ignore it as if it never happened because you want to keep your man? You know he cheated… but now what?

13 Comments

  1. Depends
    If the cheating occured while he was out with his boy, got drunk and did it with a stripper, I would break up with him and make him bend over backward to get me back, I would be mad because a man in a relationship has no business being in a club or strip club drinking and getting buck wild, but i could forgive him and look at it as a mistake.

    If he has a relationship with the jezebel, Talk to her about our life, me, our problems, Take her out,spend time with her, We are done COMPLETELY

    Whatever you decide please don’t be shocked by the conclusion, Men most likely cheat again once they’ve been forgiven, They see that they have a place in your heart, and some may chose to abuse that position đŸ™‚

  2. it’s a hard position to be in….most men cheat. I would stay if he cheated only if he’s worth it, because getting to know someone else is also hard.

  3. Everybody has to decide their own breaking point. Personally, I would bounce and move on because I have to be able to trust the person I am with. Once that’s gone, I know I would be too. Cheating is just one of those things that I could never get past. So I would be out the door.

  4. I would leave him with no second thought and move on. To me, that is the ultimate disrespect! What you’ve done before me is in the past, but once we’re committed to each other and you have sex with someone else…I’m done. That is disgusting and disrespectful. I have no desire to be with a man who can’t respect me enough to keep his pants on. If you cheat on me, I will never trust you ever again, and I can’t kiss someone that I don’t trust.

  5. My advice to anyone of this situation is to Challenge your man. Talk to him calmly and let him know that he haven’t only disrespected your relationship, but he disrespected you, which is unacceptable. shake his hand/ hug him and wish him good luck and leave. while doing this show no sign of anger! your goal is to show him you are not that black woman he thought you were, you are a strong black lady who’s in search for the best. he’ll be begging for you back. don’t give in just yet, ask him how could you look past the hurt he’ve caused, the trust he’ve lost. after you feel he’s tired of begging or is about to quit, you take charge. you tell him this is how it works now and make your demands. show no sign of weakness! you are who you are and being hurt isn’t it. are you feeling confident, NOW?

  6. THE WAY IT LOOKS LIKE YOU BOTH ARE WRONG BUT STILL I REALLY WOULDNT WANT TO BE WITH SOMEONE I KNOW IS CHEATING THE ONLY WAY THAT I WOULDNT SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT IS IF WE HAVE KIDS INVOLVE…. BUT IF WITH HIM CHEATING IT BRINGS ME A DIEASE I WOULD B MAD, UPSET, DISAPPOINTED BUT STILL I WOULD WISH THAT I HAVE SAID SOMETHING, SO WHEN I FIND OUT I WOULD JUST STOP HAVING SEXAUL CONTACT WITH HIM PERMANTELY, IF HE ASK WHY I WOULD JUST SAY NOT UP FOR IT….. BUT IF PUSH COME TO SHOVE I AM NOT EXACTLY IN THAT SITUATION SO I REALLY DONT KNOW HOW I WOULD REACT BUT RIGHT NOW I WOULD BREAK UP WITH HIM CAUSE I HAVE NO KIDS đŸ™‚ <3 YALL

  7. In my personal opinion if someone cheats on you, you should leave. The reason I feel this way is because trust has definitely been thrown out of the window. without trust your relationship is NOTHING!

    You may say you can forgive but can you forget? NO! Everytime he’s not home when he says he will be you’ll be thinking he’s doing wrong again. Whenever his phone rings and he doesn’t answer you’ll be thinking he’s being sneaky. Nobody wants to live like that!

    I see people above stating that it depends on the circumstances of him cheating. CHEATING is CHEATING period. It doesn’t matter if he had an affair or a one night stand.

    Okay so what if you forgive him for having a one night stand because all he did was screw someone when he was out late drunk with his friends. He’s gonna think well as long as I am hitting and quiting my girl will never leave me. We might fight and argue but she wont leave me.

    Being in a relationship should be a serious thing. Most of the time when you are with someone for a long period of time you stop using condoms, and then he cheats on you. Who knows if he protected himself, maybe he went down on her like he goes down on you. You dont know who this woman was messing with before she fuc#ed your man. Thats how all these diseases get passed around.

    I guess because I am a nurse I think a little bit farther than some people. There are too many diseases out there that we can’t prevent such as Cancer, MS, Alzheimers. We should be preventing what we can prevent!

    If you do decide to stay. Make him work for your trust again. Seek therapy, make him get an STD check, and a AIDS test. If he’s not willing to do all that for you. You know what to do!

  8. I agree with Summer-Raine. It is bad enoug for people to gamble with their own health and lives, but why be so stupidly selfish with your partner’s health and life? Condoms are easily available; there is no excuse for failing to wear one. Better yet, be faithful.

  9. He cheated now what? Let’s see that is why there are shows called SNAPPEED!!…LOL and then there is COPS!!!…lol then there is CHEATERS…lol which is hilarious..

  10. I really feel for you ladies who have the men go astray but I want to give you a warning about men since I am one. There are good ones who would like to find a goood woman and stay with her forever. What I want to warn you about is the idea that men do not have feelings. My wife thought about me and thought that meant that “springing” a tryst on me that she had when we were dating wouldn’t bother me becaus, after all, men have no feelings. It almost killed me and almost drove me to cheat but I did not. We have been married 25 years……Remember ladies, men have feelings. THey just don’t and can’t express them the way that you do.

  11. I have been married for almost 21 years now. I think a relationship can bounce back from a one-time infidelity situation if both people are sincere about reconcilliation and remaining faithful going forward. My husband and I are both Christians and we are actually writing a faith-based film dealing with infidleity amongst Christians. I believe that consistet infideleity is a different thing all together. I believe in that situation, from a Christian point of view you have to forgive but you dont have to remain in that relationship! Forgiveness is for your benefit, so do it and move on! But a one time situation csan be worked through if both people want to do. And we, as women, should support other women who are trying to make their relationship work ( if he is worth it), because we have enough families and homes torn apart. Let’s try and keep the good ones together.. just me two cents! Stay Blessed everyone

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