I remember standing on my porch a few years ago, wishing that I could hit a magic button and disappear. It was a beautiful spring night and I had just been walked to my front door after an amazing date. “In my mind” we would end the night with a nice hug, a follow up text thanking each other for a great night and another date…in a week or so. But I knew that wouldn’t be the case when he took a seat and hit me with the “sooooo” speech.
So what are we?
Wow. So soon. I mean maybe it wasn’t too soon, we had gone out a few times but I guess I hadn’t thought beyond simply enjoying his good company. What’s wrong with taking our time? I thought. Who’s in a rush? Who’s going to die tomorrow? Hopefully not either of us. Unfortunately he didn’t see it that way and I was forced to exit as safely as possible. I just wasn’t ready for a relationship. I wasn’t looking for a boyfriend. I was just…you know taking one day at a time.
Well it definitely wasn’t what he wanted to hear and it didn’t take long before our good conversations turned to silent sessions, cancelled dates and eventually made us associates again.
And then one day I met someone. Actually it was less than two months after that night on my porch. He was different in a different way. He was the right match for me at the right time. The person who was previously anti-relationships and commitment quickly found myself changing Facebook statuses, holding hands in public and standing on my porch again. But this time, ready.
I ran into the first guy not too long after and I remember the look on his face. I remember the second thing he said to me. “Wow, so its crazy how you are in a relationship.”
I thought about it for a second. I thought how quickly one person changed my desires and needs. It was crazy how quickly I evolved but not really.
In reality, I’ve met a lot of great men and a lot of Mr. Rights but I’ve always been honest with myself in knowing that every Mr. Right ain’t my Mr. Right. And there’s no sense in making him Mr. Right Now because when my true Mr. Right comes, nothing is more urgent than being with him. Remember Darius Lovehall’s quote, “This here, right now, at this very moment, is all that matters to me. I love you . That’s urgent like a motherfucker.” [Love Jones]
And that is what I felt with the one who became my Mr. Right.
So what about you? Can you look back and acknowledge that you’ve met some great people out there, but they just weren’t the best fit for you?