Ladies, have you ever been on a date with a man and you were so attracted to him that you could feel your insides boiling over? He would be talking and in your mind all you could think about is how well “proportioned” he must be. You wanted him. You wanted to act on your whim but something inside of you held you back. Whether it was the fear of diseases, being a one nighter, loosing your good girl tag or the ultimate, being labeled as a jump off. In the year 2009 when people are as free with sex as they are with sharing the sidewalk with someone, is the fear of being labeled a hoe still prevalent? Do we make exceptions depending on the person or should this be an unbendable policy? How far would you go on a first date?
You might call me a prude but I try not to even kiss a guy until maybe the third date. This is dependent on how much I dig him. The intention is to create an atmosphere of them earning the loving and that nothing is going to come easy. not here buddy. However, as I see other women taking a different approach to dating and in essence being more successful than the more prudish, which leads me to wonder if my technique is played out. It seems that many of today’s women are not as concerned with being labeled or their appearance to the outside world or the guy. They are about getting what they desire from the situation. Gone are the days when a woman would sleep with a man on the first date and regret it. Or worry over whether he would call her anymore now that he has gotten to the honey pot. In fact, many of today’s women are the ones creeping out of the bed early the next morning. On one hand I want to high five that chick and say “yeah girl that’s right! You get yours and don’t worry about all that emotional nonsense. Get yours and keep it moving.” Then I put on some Destiny Child/TLC and we celebrate a victory for keeping control in what once was a situation where we maintained none. Hooray for expendable vulnerability! On the other hand I want to caution her not to make this behavior a habit because it is one that will never make you content if love is what you are truly searching for. More importantly no condom is 100 percent.
It seems like my approach of setting a precedence may be outdated. I will admit that I tried the “I’m just trying to get mine” approach and it did not feel like the most logical route. I felt like I was giving too much of myself and for what? Someone that I did not even know whether they truly cared for me or not. Which was ultimately what I was searching for. It is up for debate. Have we denounced all of the rules of dating/waiting that were installed in us by the generation before? How far is too far on the first date?