How Important Is Kissing In A Relationship?

A male friend of mine recently told me that “after a while kissing no longer matters in a relationship.” I wasn’t really shocked by this considering my personal belief that a lot of men, black men in particular, just do not like to kiss. Whereas I think kissing is as important to a long term relationship as sex is, I don’t think the average man feels the same. I know my ex hated to kiss and after speaking with many women over the years, I discovered the problem was not unique to me. As a matter of fact, according to LJ Knight’s recent article “5 Things Women Want More Of During Sex,” the act of kissing is pretty high on most women’s list, but pretty low on the list of men.

So for today’s poll I submit the simple question: How important is kissing in a relationship?


  1. wow…i think that it is incredibly important. i think that i might take offence to someone who didnt like to kiss, and was in a relationship with me…
    i love it, i think it is incredibly intimate and special, which is what a relationship should be. if you cant share those little secrets with the one you’re with, who else will you?

  2. LOL!!! I think kissing is VERY important. A kiss can be more intimate than sex! A kiss says a lot…

    I had a friend who dated a guy and he NEVER kissed her. When she asked why he always said that he didn’t like to kiss. Well they screwed all the time and later on he told her the truth. That he thought she was nasty and nothing more than a freaky sex partner!!!
    He said and I quote “girllll the things you can do with your mouth, aint no way in he!! I’m kissing you!!” SAD!!!

  3. Ummmmmm WOW @Summer-Raine…
    Personally I make them wait (a little) so that they will crave my kiss even more! I have nice sized lips myself so I guess I have always attracted the kissing type {}! It is majorly important to me because the “sugar on top”! is the closest anybody is getting to my cookie:)

  4. I like kissing, but it isn’t a big deal to me. I don’t need 10 minutes of kissing. I really like it when he sucks my bottom lip, though.

  5. I’d never think about getting tired of kissing my man. And, above all, I read it somewhere that kissing kills the germs inside your mouth. I follow this rule and kiss my man all the time!!

  6. a very intelligent aunt of mine once said that kissing can be as intimate as sex….well…
    i think that it is a very important part of intimacy, and you know what they say, one things leads to another

  7. I love kissing , only because i know for sure i am the only one that get kissed and teased that way, it really helps if you trust the man 🙂

  8. How is it that a middle-aged man never learned how to kiss? He opened his mouth too wide. This made kissing a sloppy, unpleasant thing that I quickly got used to doing without. He already know everything, so it was pointless to tell him what he was doing wrong.

  9. It;s so important. My husband kiss me all the time…..all the time. My cheeks, my forehead, my lips, legs. I will stop. He is just an affection man. Thank you Lord.

  10. I enjoy kissing during lovemaking. When I want to take the lead I use kissing to communicate to my husband what I need from him. If I want is rough, gentle, sexy, nasty, fast, slow, you can communicate all that through kissing.

  11. Kissing is a must for me. A guy who doesn’t kiss is a deal breaker for me.

  12. I agree kissing is important because it is an intimate tie but most MEN do not seem to think so. I have been fortunate to have men in my lifetime that do enjoy kissing me. 🙂

  13. This is simple. A man doesn’t like kissing a woman he has no real feelings for. If your guy doesn’t want to kiss you, it’s because you’re just booty for him. DUH!

  14. @ ASHCASH – for the most part I agree with you but some men just aren’t very affectionate. They may kiss a little but not too much.

  15. @ ASHCASH-When I was in the military I had a friend who was giving in up every night to this same guy. We lived in the dorms and everyone knew each other’s business (Unlike me who kept hush those things:). Anyway after all that bumping and grinding she told me the guy never went down on her. I was like are you serious? She was. So my point is, kissing is an important part of intimacy and bonding with your mate BUT if your mate isnt going down on you that can also be a warning sign that he’s just not that into you.

  16. I think kissing is very important in a relationship of mutual love, not in the longer deny that the kiss to deepen feelings of love between two couples who love each other, strengthen the feeling when a problem arises, making both feel of belonging and attachment of the mind that is very strong

  17. I love to kiss. But when I was married and learned of the hurtful things my ex-husband was doing and saying (mental and emotional abuse)I stopped kissing him along with a lot of other things because the love was gone. But I love love love kissing the person that holds my heart but if it is just a slight fling I will not kiss at first until it grows because I feel like it opens another door for intimacy and connection. #Just my thoughts!

  18. I’m a 26 year old African American male…AND I LOVE TO KISS! A big problem in my last relation ship was that my girlfriend (25 African American) didn’t like to kiss. I began to think it was my breath but even after brushing, flossing and rinsing with mouth wash she wouldn’t. She JUST DIDN’T LIKE TO. I think the lack of kissing drained the passion out of our relationship (that and other things). I found this post by googling “the importance of kissing in a relationship” and to my surprise, it seems to be very important. So ladies do assume that all men don’t like to kiss. Some of us really love it.

  19. I’m a male, and I am engaged, and i too think that its important to kiss because it sends a message to that person through touch that you care. Its also important, because it keeps things intiment between the couple. It keeps things spicy in the bedroom. I love to kiss durring love making. It intensifies the love making, and takes it to a different level. When you reach that climax it really makes a difference with a simple kiss.

  20. I love kissing my girlfriend. I like it so much I had to make a standard of always kissing at least once before we part, go to sleep and every time we meet each other. or else it would be that casual bye (which i refuse to do). sometimes she would ask me if it will kill me if i dont get a kiss for once. it always surprises me to no end when she comes to kiss me because she rarely does. I was starting to think I’m weird but after seeing all those post I understand that she is a minority

  21. Maybe I am a weirdo but I am a woman who doesn’t like kissing at all! I have been in relationships where I could tell a man that and we have no problems, but then I’ve also been with men who LOVE kissing. For them if I like them enough I will compromise and kiss as much as I can tolerate but for the most part keep your tongue out my damn mouth! YUCK!

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