Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and ironically this is also the time of year when couples are most likely to break up. Men everywhere are either scrambling to end things with their not-so-significant others, or are planning a romantic night of passion. As I scroll through my Facebook timeline, all I see are hopeless romantics; whining about how they either do not have a Valentine, they hate Valentine’s Day or how it is a female holiday concocted by card companies to amass wealth. I’ve never really seen the big deal with Valentine’s Day and if you’re in a relationship, there shouldn’t be one designated day for you to show your mate that you appreciate them. People think that if you’re alone on Valentine’s Day it somehow makes you a bigger loser than if you were alone the other 364 days of the year. The media is responsible for making women feel like they need to be with someone on this special day but I have news for you: you don’t need anyone or anything to make you happy. If you are satisfied with yourself and your life, the right one will come along at the right time. Women need to stop obsessing over whether they have someone for this one insignificant day during the year and focus on becoming the best you that you can be.
Valentine’s Day is not about finding someone to take you out and buy you expensive gifts; that will appease you for one day but what does that really prove? I believe the spirit of the day is about showing people you care about that you truly care about them, whether it be a boyfriend, husband, child, or parent. In life sometimes we get so wrapped up in pleasing others and making others think we are a certain way and we forget to tend to our own needs. While being overly self-centered and egotistical is not a good quality, it is necessary sometimes to just focus on yourself. You can’t always put others first. Women are instinctually more caring than men and have the tendency to sacrifice for the ones they love. If you aren’t “right within” as Lauryn Hill would say, how do you expect to find someone who can truly love you? I hate the fact that Valentine’s Day is known as the “lovers’ holiday.” The day is about love, whether it is the love of another person or self love; the greatest love of all. All your friends might have boos and you’re the only one without a partner…but so what? What does that really mean? There are plenty of perks to being single although people forget about them once Valentine’s Day is upon us. Don’t fret about being single this Valentine’s Day…love yourself and focus on becoming the best person you can be and the rest will fall into place.
Janice Gassam is a graduate student currently getting her degree in Industrial Organizational Psychology. To contact Janice her email is firstname.lastname@example.org
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