Ask Y and X

The relationship is not so great, but it’s not horrible either. The best thing about the relationship is the sex. We don’t have any complaints in the bedroom, we do it all the time any and everywhere.  And my partner does all kind of wild things that’s hard to find someone else to do. We have a good time hanging out as friends we club, party and drink/smoke together; but there are no plans of marriage in the future.  I just don’t have those kind of feelings or see her as wife material. Matter of fact if the sex wasn’t so good I would have been left; but we have now been together over 3 years.  I sometimes date other people my partner doesn’t know about.  Now she’s pregnant! She wants to get married and have a family.  Only she doesn’t know how I really feel.  I know this is going to hurt her, but I don’t want to marry her.  I’m not sure if I should tell her or when it’s a good time; she is really excited about this.  Mean while I wish this was a nightmare I could wake up from. What should I do?

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21 Comments

  1. Communication is key in any and all relationships. It would have been so much easier on both of the parties involved if he had communicated his feelings and intentions throughout the entirety of the relationship. However, women are emotional beings and often catch feelings quicker than men especially when sex is involved. The best thing to do now, is to be honest with the woman immediately, of course she is going to be hurt initially, but honesty will be better for both of you in the long run. Explain that your feelings and intentions on raising the child. In future relationships, be honest to avoid hurting feelings, and use protection!

  2. dont be a bitch ass nicca tell her tha truth and get it over with… or you will pay for the mistake of not telling for the rest of your life lol and the baby will be the one that suffers the most ….. fighting parents

  3. This man is an evil person in my opinion. He has led this woman on and wasted 3 years of her life and now she is pregnant and he is still deciding what to do! Why bring an innocent child into a crazy situation? He is a user and what goes around comes around and I hope he is prepared to pay some child support. Although she will be deeply hurt he needs to be a man for once and tell her the truth so that she can salvage some of her life and plan for her child a not let her waste more time and find out years and years from now that her whole life with him was a lie and game. What a a**hole!!

  4. A relationship based on sex for three years, I just don’t buy it. Sounds more like the idea of settling down is scaring this guy. If it is based on just sex, to pull someone along for three years with an act and then jump ship when a child is brought into the picture is heartless, cowardly, and plain irresponsible. Heck, use some protection if you don’t want kids. Not to mention being a cheater while at it. So he doesn’t think she’ wife-material? Hell, he’s nowhere near husband or father material. The woman needs to know, at not at the hospital either. She should have known in the beginning what the guy was in for.

    I imagine this woman’s position and it just pisses me off.

  5. Who ever you sleep with is your potential Baby’s Mama/Daddy. If you know they won’t make a good father or mother….and on top of that you don’t want a real relationship. Don’t fool with them. 😐

  6. yo where the hell did you find this guy.
    what a biytch nygga. how in the hell are you gonna say that ya’ll were just in it for the nasty for three years. in no way shape or form will a woman “just in it for the nasty” do that for sooooo long. that fool knew damn well that that woman was in relationship mode.
    dude you better grow some balls and tell her what’s really good. if not then you are putting her in a horrible situation and yourself. if you were smart you woulda told her that in the beginning and this woulda never happened. what is up with people not using protection. i mean it’s not 100% but it does the job. maybe next time you’ll learn.

    dag yo this dude is a supreme jackass. i hope i never run into no one like him or somehow become blinded by sex to be in a situation like this.

    in my mind both him and her have a part in this…..but it’s mostly ol’ dudes fault. be a man and tell her how you really feel. bottom line.

  7. To begin with, sir, you are nothing but a dog on 4 legs, plain and simple. You make things sound like you’re just with this lady for the sex. What do you yourself say, “if the sexwasn’t so good I would have been left.”? You further state, “And my partner does all kind of wild things that’s hard to find someone else to do.” Oh, really? What does she do? Play with your ding-a-ling while you’re hangin’ upside down from the ceiling? No, no, no. I know what it is! You like this lady ’cause she’s the only female who can make you get it up! And that’s why you’re all freaked out over her, right? And you say that you ” sometimes date other people [your] partner doesn’t know about.”? So in other words, you are childish enough to drag this dear lady through this lie you have forced on her then have the nerve to cheat on her too? Man, you must look like Eddie Murphy comedy movie just runnin’-n-hidin’-n-slippin’-n-slidin’ behind this lady’s back. And now she’s gonna have a baby from you? Well, if she’s smart, after you break the news to her, she’ll drag you before the district attorney of where she lives and have a child support order written up on your effin’ , sorry, pathetic butt. One poster said that you are ” nowhere near husband or father material.” Hell, you ain’t even man material!

  8. No words…Why would you play this game for 3 years? How can you sleep with someone and not give a damn about them for that long? Why didn’t you tell her she was a “booty call” 3 years ago? Obviously, my question won’t get answered. First, you need to come clean and let he know it is all about the child and you don’t want to get married or have any relationship. The problem is-she might not believe it! You have played so long,she will think your just scared..so get ready for a hot azz messs.Then, you need to leave the sex alone forever..it’s done-let that go! LAstly, you need to get ready for when she figures out you have been a fraud-she is going to blow the heck up and you will be in court.You can’t continue the lie..it will get you cut,killed and/or worse…well.. nothing is worse but dead but when this all clears you will wish you were…lol…You will reap this in the end…what you did was selfish and I’m sure the backend of the messy mess will keep you in a bind for a longer period of time…well 21 years to be exact.

  9. Nope. The writer must be a 12 year old boy who can’t speak! Those things… yeah, they’re called words. Use them! If y’all are doing all kinds of freaky stuff, I’m more than certain you should be able to “real-talk” with her.

    Dead wrong.

  10. SELFISH, ARROGANT PIECE OF S**T!! Tell her the truth now and get down on your knees and repent! You know you’re wrong, that’s why you felt the need to come on here and write this crap. You’re looking for confirmation that you are the loser you are. Well, IT’S CONFIRMED! Now sit her down and tell her the truth, whatever it is, and make plans to take care of your child and teach him/her not to be anything like Daddy.

  11. This situation reeks of immaturity. Sometimes we just don’t get a lesson until its too late. Now this man is stuck with the life long responsibility of taking care of a child he didn’t plan for. The only good that can come out of this situation is that this person “man up” and become the best father possible.

  12. wow again anything not celebrity related gets 1 comment to their 12 but lemme digress. Ummm ur dead wrong for stringing her along in the first place. Ur also dead wrong for being unsafe and having unprotected sex…however if u dont wanna marry her ok u’ve wasted three years of her life and urs but reality is shes gonna be in ur life for THE REST OF UR LIFE since u two are having a baby. U should be honest with her but i have a little advice for u: if ur sleeping with someone ur not interested in romantically or not compatible with BE HONEST and let them kno from the jump. Dont make her wifey because she rocks the sheets. Honesty and two consenting adults will stop this from happening again but the dynamic of ur life is about to change anyway now that ur bringing a life into the world. Be more discerning, more honest and much more SAFE! Wrap it up people jeez.

  13. i totally agree with Get Togetha this is a reflection of many many young relationships. They kno about love and meet the first person that makes that pressure rise and wind up with children. Parents i urge stop bein so scared of ur children having sex and teach them what having sex means, the responsibility having sex holds and the relation between sex, committment and romance. Our generation of young people are in a very dire state for the most part and the ones who suffer most are the children they produce in their confused state of madnes. He mentioned clubs, weed and alcohol prime examples of the wasted youth of this current generation who spend most of their free time partying and kno nothing about themselves or how to treat any woman in a relationship and then have nerve to procreate. SMDH

  14. here we go with another case of a boy stepping into a man shoes doing grown folks things and a woman opps my bad little girl doing the same thing .this female led with her heart and he led with his pepe and created a wounderful being. and now he wants too rUn like a croward, young people stop the MADNESS …HIS FATHER NEED A FOOT IN HIS ASS. ..FOR NOT TEACHING HIS SON TO BE MAN . HE IS ACTING LIKE ONE.

  15. You are inconsiderate and a yeah a triflin dog …You said your relationship was solely built on sex how immature and pathetic…Why would you waste someone’s life because of your selfish ways…Life is too short to be playing games obviously you are not well versed with maturity and education my advice to you is to grow up…And last but not least “What goes comes around”Wanna be playa…

  16. I find it strange that for THREE years you thought this girl was not “wifey” material, but yet and still, you had unprotected sex with her. You need to come clean with her and quickly. There is no good time, so tell her the truth now, get a paternity test and be prepared to deal with her for the rest of your life. Next time, talk to your potential partner BEFORE you decide to get in bed with her. Real adults communicate about their expectations before they get horizontal. And if you slept with other people while you were sleeping with her, I strongly encourage you to get tested for every STD/STI and HIV as soon as possible and let your other partners know that they need to get tested as well. Please grow up and start acting like a responsible adult.

  17. Why won’t men just stay single and enjoy other’s single compagnie?
    I mean why do they go trought the trouble of having a long term relationship yet cheat on the woman and put her through all kind of hell To then tell her she is not “wifey material” ?
    Sisters WE need to stand up for what we want, and start letting our men know that we will be treated like queens or be left alone . These kind of disrespect are got to stop

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