A few weeks ago I looked into my bank account and realized a significant amount of money had been removed. The first thing I did was lay my head on my desk. I knew immediately that it could only have been one person. One person who I’d believe was the last person who would betray me to that extent. A family member.
I called the bank of course, only to hear what I already knew, they couldn’t do anything about it. That person had full rights to my money. You know how you always think, if something happens to me, this is the most reliable person to have access to everything. This is the one person I trust to take care of everything for me. Well, take this time to think again if that person you’ve chosen is the right person.
I called my closest friend just to get the bad news off of my chest. In reality, I knew and know I’ll never see that money again. Surprisingly, after much discussion, it seemed my friend was more upset than I was. She was ready to set it off. Don’t get me wrong, I was upset. I was actually furious. But it quickly turned into my being hurt. This was someone who influenced a great part of my life, someone who mentored me and stepped into a parental role when no one else would. And that became the basis for my making excuses for the person. Hoping it was a mistake or an action that was made based off of a drastic need. But the person wouldn’t answer or return my calls.
One thing that my friend said to me that stuck out was that I may suffer from a mild case of being a battered woman. A woman who has it all figured out but when it comes to one particular person, no matter how many times they beat me down, because of what they gave me in life, I cover up the bruises and find a way to make it work. And I’m not talking physical abuse. I’m talking about emotional abuse and actions that people take and make that ultimately never have my best interest at heart.
I wasn’t going to share this story. It’s almost embarrassing to really tell you who did this to me. But last week I interviewed R&B singer KeKe Wyatt and one thing she said to me was she would have never left her abusive husband until the judge threatened to take her kids. Then I thought, what will it take for me to leave an abusive family member? I don’t have kids.
When is enough going to be enough for me? It’s hard. As a person who believe people can change and believing that I must forgive people who hurt me, it’s hard for me to walk away. But what I’m challenging myself on is that you can forgive people but sometimes you have to remind yourself of what they did so that you’ll never forget to protect yourself again. That and of course, shut the bank account down ASAP!
I seriously love the person who offended me, but it’s become painstakingly obvious, that this person loves them self more than they love me. And that’s something I must accept. It’s also a learning lesson. You can love some people until the day you die, but not everyone has to travel so closely with you on your journey. Everyone has a place and time. It is I who must respect that.