Six years is a long time. Actually, it translates to 2,190 days, and a lot can happen to a person in that amount of time. It is said that the average married couple has sex 109 times a year. Single people, on the other hand, are free to live a more liberated sex life. They can dibble and dabble with as many people as they like. There are risks involved, of course. But, you get my drift.
With that being said, singer Brandy recently confessed to the world that she has been abstinent for the past six years. Yes, you read correctly. She has been penis free for roughly 2,190 days, ladies. She says she is abstaining because she has not been in a relationship for six years, and she likes to share that experience with someone that she is committed to. I can dig it. I couldn’t pull it off, but I can respect her choice not to give her body to a man who she is in not in a committed relationship with. But, the slightest bit of penis in Brandy’s life might make her loose all of her good sense, at this point. I digress.
I thought about the idea of being penis free for so long, and I wondered why Brandy would want to reveal such a private fact with the world. Could it be to attract interest? The only time she is mentioned on blogs is when they mention her younger brother Ray J, who probably has not been vagina free since he left his mother’s womb. But, she has been getting quite a bit of press since her Dancing With The Stars stint began. More importantly, I wondered how many other people could make such a life defining choice? Sex is a huge component of some people’s lives, relationships, and days. There are some who cannot go an entire day without getting some. Obviously, if you are married, there is the expectation of sex. But, what if you are single and dating? Is it wise to keep your private parts private?
Brandy thinks so and so do other people. Then, there are others who don’t think sex has to be a magical experience. They believe that every sexual encounter you have doesn’t require the humming birds and angels to come out playing harps for the event. Some of us…I mean them, just want to get down and dirty. This brings up another thought. Does random sex with random people skeet out (figuratively speaking) all of the tender moments that come with sex? Does sex become less meaningful when it is not done with someone you care for? Is it better to remain abstinent until you have met someone that you at least care about in order to have a spectacular sexual experience?
I say, not necessarily. While I respect Brandy’s decision, I generally do not think that a six-year bid of abstinence is necessary. I think there are different types of sexual experiences and all of them can be equally amazing in their own way. You do not necessarily have to be abstinent and wait for The Art Of Noise’s “Moments In Love” to play for your sex scene to go down and for it be breathtaking and meaningful in some way. There are other sexual experiences one can have and they can be also be stupendously orgasmic and have their own significant meaning. For instance, there is the “I just met you and I don’t regularly do this, but you are so hot that I can’t keep my little grubby hands off you. I must have you now! Now!” Then there is the “ I don’t necessarily want to do this but what the hell? I need to waste time before Real Housewives Of Atlanta comes on.” We also have the “I really don’t know you or want to get to know you any more than I already do for that matter, but I do want you to come over and do me and then quickly leave after as you always do.” I could go on, but you get my point.
All of these sexual experiences, while each very different, are necessary. There is no one way to approach sex and there is no one designated superior sexual experience. Sure, you are allowed to have a preference but Brandy’s preference may be quite different from Ray J’s. She prefers to wait until she is in a relationship with a man that she loves. So, for her, abstinence is worth waiting on her preferred sexual experience. Love is a part of her preferred sexual experience, and that is absolutely fine. A hard spank on the a** may be a necessity in another person’s preferred sexual experience. That is all good as well. What is your preferred sexual experience? Are you willing to be abstinent and wait to have it? Is six years of abstinence worth the encounter?
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La’Juanda “LJ” Knight
“If You Don’t Say It, I Will”