Is Nia Long a Poor Role Model?

After being spotted on the beach in Cabo San Lucas sporting an obvious baby bump, actress Nia Long quickly released a statement to People magazine confirming that she is indeed pregnant and that the child’s father is 33 year old basketball player Ime Udoka.

News that Nia, 40, and pregnant for the second time without the benefit marriage, quickly sent the blogsphere into overdrive with complaints that the actress is setting a poor example by having children with men who are boyfriends rather than husbands.

Nia finds herself in a similar situation to that of singer Erykah Badu. Badu, 40, and the mother of three children by three different men, also came under scrutiny back in 2009 when she had her second daughter by longtime boyfriend Jay Electronica.

So, what do you guys think? Is Nia’s pregnancy without the benefit of marriage a bad look for the actress and black women in general? And if so, why?

Why is Nia’s pregnancy any different than that of other women in Hollywood who have also gotten pregnant while not married (Kourtney Kardashian, Natalie Portman, Angelina Jolie)?


  1. nobody has made this news seem like its something different compared to the other stars KIM, ANGELINA etc, i never even knew about it. So it cant be THAT much of a discussion

  2. So she can be consider a bad role model but with all this other crapt they can’t even be called role models. This is a silly article. She is pregnant and not married it is not a life I would want for myself but at the same time I am not going to go and get pregnant just because she did.

    Funny though this never comes up w/Angelina Jolie and she had three children out of wedlock.

  3. I don’t think this makes her a “Bad Role Model” MTV needs to be under fire for airing that train wreck “16 and Pregnant”. In 2011 their are plenty of un-married couples who are raising their children together in stable homes. Marriage is not for everybody.

  4. ?You can hate or love artists considering to their works but you definitely can not judge anyone from their private lives.Are we expecting too much from the artists?

  5. Unfortunately it is just a sign of the times we live in. People in general do not view marriage as something to aspire to have anymore. There was a time when it was a sacred thing to want….but alas, not anymore. As time goes on and with so many celebrities not marrying, young people looking at them daily say to themselves…..well if they didn’t marry, why should I. Personally, I am what is referred to today as “Old School” even though I don’t consider myself particularly old chronologically and things like pregnancy out of wedlock was once considered a shameful thing. I don’t think people today consider ANYTHING as shameful anymore….nothing. We are in the “if it feels good do it” era and to hell with the consequences. Is it my business? in a word No, but I also don’t give two sh__ts about what Nia Long does, as she is ultimately the one who will answer for whatever actions she has taken during her lifetime, as I will have to answer for mine.

    People today like to go along with whatever the “crowd” feels is cool to do, as opposed to “going against the grain” and doing what may not necessarily be the most popular thing to do, but the most prudent.

  6. I cannot stand black American women sometimes why are your mouths always in the wring business? I was married for 3 years and he was cheating for the entire time Who told you that marriage guarantees that the man will do right or even that he loves you ? You are so busy concentrating on getting married you will take just anyone and that is sad. Nia is pregnant by a guy she has Bern seeing for how many Years? You acting like she slept with him once and got knocked up She is 40 years old and has a 10 years old I doubt she is an idiot. To finish you women are pathetic YES men should marry women they love but it has to be for the right reasons , no wonder divorces happens everyday , you’ll marry anything just because you’re in love with the IDEA of beign married…

  7. Well…we pick and choose who we want to attack now don’t we!

    Anyway….Black women are held to different standards and we all know this already.

    I don’t know…I think people should try to be as responsible as we all can! regardless of race or sex…cause it’s funny you didn’t bring up all the black men in this country with upwards of SEVEN or more baby mommas…what’s worst?

    As a people we need to start being conscious of the fact this baby and babies we are just having without thought are human beings nd our decisions will affect our children. and having two involved parents is always best.

  8. and by the way Nia was married to her first childs father.

  9. Are you serious with this headline?!?! Chile please…

  10. Nia and her boyfriend Massai Z. Dorsey never got married.

  11. Nia was really getting slammed on Necole Bitchie and I think it is because black women feel better about themselves when they see another black woman married. We want our fellow sistas to be called wives not baby mamas.

  12. Marriage is not a guarantee of anything. It is however the first sign that a man is willing to step forward and say that he pledges himself to a woman and the children he has with that woman.

    Black women should demand more of their men and then maybe they will get more. Stop living like a married woman if you are not one. If you do not demand marriage as a prerequisite to sex and children then a man will not offer it.

  13. @Two-Cents and @Jessica, I 100% agree!


    This 40 something Black American woman has been happily married for 16 years to a beautiful 40 something Black American man. BTW it was the first marriage for both of us and neither of us had any children prior to marrying. IMAGINE THAT!

  14. Marriage was invented as a contract for the transfer of wealth between families. Can we please remember that? There is nothing sacred or magical about it. The notion of romantic love is very recent, if you take human history as a whole.

    In the past, before women could own property, having children out of wedlock was a sure path to poverty unless the father would claim his bastard offspring and provide for them. Today, with less stigma concerning single mothers or “blended families” there is not as much pressure to get married.

    Nia Long is independently wealthy, and evidently feels that it is more sensible to have a long-term relationship than to run the risk of an expensive divorce further down the line.

    Nia should be admired. Far too many women enter into and stick with relationships that don’t work because that’s what they feel society expects them to do.

  15. Not a bad look..the only other man Ive ever known her to be with was the other son father. She has always been very respectful in the public eye! Always a lady even in her movies.

    I do have a few things to say.

    At least its her own man!!
    Not a married man!!
    Not a man who have kids by five other women!!
    At least he has a job!!
    YOU GO NIA You look very, very happy!

    Anonymus, tutu and Hussyville..I COSIGNED!

  16. @hussyville,

    I know the history of the marriage contract. However, there are those who are not so cynical as to believe it is only that. There are some of us who believe God is the tie that binds not just the state. I have plenty of examples within my own family that would bare witness to that fact. Namely, my paternal grandparents who were married 49 years until my grandmother’s death. Was their marriage perfect…..HELL NO, but because ULTIMATELY the vows they took were in fact SACRED to them (as they stated to us) they were inclined to work through any problems and overcame adversity when it arose. The ones of us who came after them, had their example set before us to show that it is possible to have a loving, sustaining marriage. I certainly didn’t marry because of any outside pressure, but I also didn’t date my husband for 100 years and let him use me up in hopes that he’ll stay either. Marriage or just “shacking” or having a baby is No guarantee that any man Will Stay. Life itself is not guaranteed, nobody said anything about a guaranteed anything.

    I don’t think bashing Nia is an answer to anything, but admired….is stretching it. Far too many women open their legs for men who are not worthy from the start…because society in its quest to say it has become more enlightened and free thinking has “dumbed” its standards down to NO standards and men, who know they are in short supply and high demand, know they are gonna get what they want, if they are patient. “If there is some *** a man Really Wants he’ll bide his time until he gets it. Oh he’ll sleep around with others while he waits, but he’ll do just what he has to do until that woman he really wants (sexually) gives it up.” That very raw and matter of fact little tidbit of wisdom came from my father, who “armed” his daughter with the Knowledge of the inner workings of a horny man’s mind. His words to me made it easy to tell guys no when I felt the “societal pressure.” Lastly, I believe Nia is a rich woman, certainly compared to myself, however Oprah is what you call…..independently wealthy.

  17. @hussyville,

    Yes, I am aware of the history of the marriage contract. However, some us feel that God is the tie that binds not just the state. Also, unless a woman Starts Out rich, having babies out of wedlock for some IS STILL a sure path to poverty. Especially, if those individuals are teenagers looking at the lives of these celebrities that we “admire” so much.

    As far as Nia is concerned, being “admired” for her choice is stretching it a bit and while Nia is a rich woman, certainly compared to myself, OPRAH is independently wealthy….there IS a DEFINITIVE difference.

  18. Like someone said up top… this is just a sign of the times that we leave in *shrugs*

    @Two Cents very well put

  19. Well, its certainly not a positive thing. But, its a baller and Nia is not exactly making any money as an -list actress in blockbuster movies. This man and baby are basically her meal ticket and retirement plan. She’s just doing what groupies have been doing for years, selling her womb tothe first million dollar contract that hits it.(Shrugs). I think its more importantto look closer to home for your role models nd strive to be the best person you can be. I would start with the Bible as the first and best instruction manual for living a stellar life without having to look outside for inspiration.

  20. LUNCH HOUR, you know nothing at all. Nia’s baller is a droppd NBA player. He is hardly anyone’s meal ticket and Nia is a respected actress who has been working non stop for over 20 years. You have Nia confused with the likes of women probably like yourself.

  21. Let’s not forget oh so special halle berry, people love to judge! I’m sure her children will be loved and have a blessed life. Peeps need to mind they own business. Smh

  22. WTH! Why is this even an issue? Maybe she doesnt want to marry.

  23. @anonymous : Good for you
    @hussyville : Right on the head of the nail
    my mother on law now is with an abusive alchoholic nothing doing man and won’t leave him until he kills her. Her excuse? “he married her “

  24. Nia was really getting slammed on Necole Bitchie and I think it is because black women feel better about themselves when they see another black woman married. We want our fellow sistas to be called wives not baby mamas.

  25. Do people understand that more than half of marriages end in divorce? Why the partriarchial attitude towards it persists befuddles me!

    The man is there to help her raise her children, right? Why do they need a stupid piece of paper? To make it okay for OTHER people who have no business sticking their noses in anyone’s business?

    People stay together because they want to be together and no “legal” document can make them stay together if they want to be apart.

    Gosh darn it!!

  26. Nia and the rest of the women who you have mention are all bad role models.

  27. First of all, celebs shouldn’t be role models, period. They live in a different world and there’s not comparison to our “everyday” life. You don’t have be famous and make millions of dollars to be called “successfull”. And those who take Jolie, Portman, Kardashian as role models for their kids… they’re wrong.

    Secondly, marriage means nothing to a lot of people. I personally rather be married to my children’s father (I am married to my son’s father) but those who choose not to… I’m not going to judge them, they know what’s right and what’s not.

    Thirdly, this is really Nia’s business.

  28. I agree it’s Nia’s business and between her and God!

    I also believe marriage with the right person is the optimum way for most people. I do believe there’s a distinct difference in being married and living together or common law unions. Not just how society views marriage, protection under the law or going biblical, I think it CAN shape a couple’s intention. Only if you’re with the right person for the right reason; this is often NOT the case! In some cases like Oprah or other women, marriage just isn’t what’s in the cards or a major factor for a myriad of reasons.

    I have double standards where marriage is concerned. I think women with lesser means should definitely strive for marriage. It’s so tough raising a child alone and without emotional and financial support, it can overwhelm you and damaging to the kids. Marriage doesn’t mean this will happen (support), but at least you start off with the right intentions.

    Nia’s kids can have access to some terrific male role models (support), she can call upon Will Smith or Ice Cube, along with family members and friends. Celebrities’ kids will be treated differently in this world.

    But, at the end of the day, I firmly believe for the masses…MARRIAGE should be the goal!

  29. This must be a joke.


    She’s not a crack ho, she’s not in and out of jail, she doesn’t have a sex tape – but she’s could be considered a bad role model? If that’s the case then my mom is one. And I know for fact SHE IS NOT. And she had me early and my sister later – 2 different fathers but she’s been married 21 years to my dad (stepfather) – I think your life goes the way it should and if you don’t EVER want to get married that’s your business and not mine!

  30. Who cares? This unfortunately is common in the black community. The emphasis is always on making babies as opposed to developing families. What’s new?

  31. To paraphrase Michelle Alexander, a black child had more of a likelyhood to be raise by both parents during slavery than now. -Startling.
    So… as long as the child is raise by BOTH parents, fine by me.

  32. God’s plan for the family is still a husband and wife with children: not a boyfriend and girlfriend with children or several different “babies’ daddies” and “babies” mamas. All sex outside of marriage is wrong; as well as against the teachings of both the Bible and the Catholic Church.

    What was condemned sixty years ago is widely accepted today. For example: back in the 1930’s, Loretta Young got pregnant from an affair that she had with Clark Gable, who was still married at the time, while they were making the movie “The Call of the Wild”. Because she was a devout Catholic, it was a mortal sin, and she kept her pregnancy hidden. She went off to Europe for a few months and then she came back to California. She had the baby; a baby girl named Judy, and she put the baby in an orphanage. When Judy was 19 months old, she was adopted by Loretta Young. She took the last name of Lewis; who was Loretta Young’s second husband. Decades later, Loretta Young privately acknowledged Judy Lewis as her biological daughter by Clark Gable, but she refused to do so publicly, and they didn’t speak to each other for several years.

    Also, back in the late 40’s, Ingrid Bergman got pregnant from an affair with the Italian film director, Rossellini. She had the baby; a baby boy; and it caused a huge scandal. She was denounced in Congress and called a “free love cultist.” Even Ed Sullivan refused to have her on his weekly variety show.

    Sadly, people today are simply throwing God’s laws into His face; especially when it comes to sex, marriage, family, and relationships; and choosing to live on their own terms. Well that’s not right. God gave us guidelines for us to live by, as well as consequences for those actions.

    Nia Long should do the right thing; and that is get married first; then have the baby. I don’t care if it’s 2011; God’s laws, especially when it comes to sex, marriage, family, and relationships, don’t change. St. Paul tells us to flee fornication, which is exactly what this is. Jesus Christ is still the same: yesterday, today, and forever. I’m 53 years old, old-fashioned, and proud of it!

  33. Marriage is more than just a “piece of paper”. It is a lifetime commitment, as well as one of the seven Sacraments that Christ instituted.

    Come to think of it, everything in life is a “piece of paper”. For example: a birth certificate, your Social Security card, a job application, income tax forms, insurance policies, and of course, the death certificate.

    Live by God’s principles; not by man’s.

  34. Also, St. Paul says that wives are to be submissive to their husbands. And that the husband is the head of the wife; just as Christ is the Head of the Church, and gave Himself for it.

  35. A poor role model for who ? I never looked at a celebrity for guidance, it’s unfortunate that it’s happening in my community but i don’t follow, i lead.
    Would i have a child out of wedlock? I don’t think so But not for the reason that you think, i’m just an old school text book girl, i want the ring , the man, the love and solid foundation before i bring a child into the world, But it isnt my business what Nia does with her life and it isn’t yours neither.

  36. ps: Please quit annoying people with the over religious attitude and holier than thou speeches, you Christians are the WORST, and shouldn’t be talking about anyone .

  37. I’m going to speak the truth no matter what! I’m not going to tolerate disrespect from anybody. I’m 53 years old and that is they way that I was raised. And besides, Jesus said that you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.

  38. Sadly when it comes to celebrities lives, people for some reason do think it’s their business.

  39. If Nia Long, as well as any other out-of-wedlock pregnant actress, had been around back in the 30’s and 40’s, their careers would have been destroyed because of this. Back in those days, morals clauses were put into the stars contracts. They should do the same thing today.


  41. i think we need to back to butting scarlet letters on people and calling children born out of wedlock bastards

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