Originally I was going to make this article the topic of our Talk To Me Tuesday’s feature, but decided to post it today instead. What I want to do is tackle an issue that many of you here may be familiar with. I have experienced it and as it turns out, so has Janet Jackson. For those of you who are not Janet fans and have no idea what I’m talking about- I will fill you in. For years there have been rumors that Janet and her former choreographer Tina Landon had a falling out over a man. Some speculated Tina tried to get a little too close to Janet’s former husband Renee Elizondo, thus prompting Janet to fire Tina and pen a song about it- 2001’s “You Ain’t Right”, from the “All For You CD”.
As I said, for years Janet fans could only speculate who the song was about or why Janet and Tina fell out. The speculation ended however when Janet appeared on Oprah last week to promote her new Tyler Perry film, Why Did I Get Married? Janet spoke of losing a friend because she didn’t reveal the fact that she knew the friend’s boyfriend was cheating. And though Janet never mentions Tina’s name, Tina, on her website, confirmed that she was who Janet was talking about.
Now this post isn’t about Janet or Tina really, but rather what would you all do if you were in Janet’s situation.
I had this very conversation with my ex’s sisters and mother some years ago. I of course, at 19, said I would tell. While my sisters and mom said they wouldn’t. I didn’t understand at the time why a woman wouldn’t tell her friend that her man was cheating. However, as I got older I quickly came to understand why.
Most women when they find out they have been cheated on do not leave their men. They forgive those men and stay with them. The man usually will grill the woman about how she found out and most likely that woman will give you up. This then creates a rift between you and your friend’s man as he will no longer want you around, feeling you stuck your nose in his business. So now your friend has a choice to make. Will she stay friends with you or will she do as her man wants and cut you loose? I think we all know the answer to that question and that is why you don’t tell. In the end, women always stick by their men and you will have only gained an enemy and lost a friend in the process of trying to do the right thing.
But that’s just my opinion- and what I really want is to hear yours.