Ladies, Are You Raising Gentlemen?

chilli-dasani-campaign-shoot-4[1]In the July/August issue of Ebony magazine, Rozonda “Chilli” Thomas from the world renowned group TLC, opens up about raising her son Tron. She had this to say. “Even in a bad dream, I couldn’t see my son being a scrub or just going far to the left. Everything that Tron is going to learn is going to come from me first. So, when we get to a door, I’ll just wait and he knows to open the door for me, because he’s a young man and I’m a woman. I teach by example. That’s what mothers have to do.”

I applaud Chilli and every mother for that matter that is raising their sons to be gentlemen. In a time where we are sometimes left wondering if black men truly love black women, it is assuring to know that gentlemen are still being raised.


  1. Should be a nice article and the message is so true….It’s so many young mothers out here raising kids alone to be young ladies and gentlmen in this world.It’s gets hard but we have to stay grounded.

  2. To me it goes back to what steve harvey you know said about raising better men. When me or any female friends of mine with or without kids get on the subject of how to raise kids or how they will raise kids the ones with sons talk about how they refuse to raise them to be rude, abusive, selfish, etc. Some do their best w. or w.o fathers and you hope for the best when they start really interacting with females like in their teens and as adults and then you can really see once they are more on their own just how much you tried to do in raising them really worked,.

  3. it’ll be also nice if blackwomen understand that not just black men can love us!!! if i’m not mistaken didn’t GOD create us human race in his own image and HE is not a respector of persons meaning i don’t favor a race over another.So if blakc women don’t understand that the high rates of us are that are not married are gonna steady climb until we get it in our heads to get a husband must be found in the spirit not flesh!!!! SISTAS STOP LOOKING AT RACE AND LOOK AT THE HEART AND YOU WILL GET THAT MAN GOD PROMISE YOU!!!!

  4. stop getting pregant by men with no jobs..& men who are cheating and beatin on you …you knew he was no good b4 u got pregnant,

  5. I agree w/ Honesty, we need to start taking the dialouge of bw to another level like get fit, eat healthy, travel, volunteer at a place of interest (besides the church), meet different people, and open your options to love.

    We can’t keep going back to these same discussions of how to raise boys when that is a man’s job in the first place, why we’re 70% single, and the HIV/AIDS rate. Just an endless cycle of talk.

    Chilli can’t be compared to some of the bw who are working 2-3 jobs and trying to raise kids on their own. It is not a fair comparison, so this kind of talk needs to stop.

    Let’s talk about not having children UNTIL you are MARRIED or FINACIALLY READY! how about that? why don’t we mention that? is being a babymama the new black now? there’s nothing glamorous about being a single mom, it sucks! and it deprives you of the life you really wanted. Think i’m lying? go to your local walmart/mall and look at the faces of these single women with their children, hell better yet look at the children, do they look happy to you? most times they look miserable. These single mothers have to work double time not just for themselves, but for their children.

    How about teaching women how to vet men? see if he is husband/long-term boyfriend material? If there’s one thing my uncle taught me was “if you meet a nice guy…size him up!” meaning see if he is worth having and fits the qualities of what it is to be a man.

    I long stopped reading these articles because they hold nothing of value to me.

  6. I think it is a great thing to raise one’s son to be a gentleman. Yes it is easier for chicks like Chilli to do it with help and money, but it is not impossible for regular people to do it. I think it is good to have an article to encourage black women to raise young men with strong character whether the father is around or not.

  7. @ TJ I agree.

    I always admired Chilli as a mother.

    Regards if a woman is married or not she needs to make her child/ren her priority. I think this is one of the biggest problem with having children. People are just having sex, giving birth, and not spending time with their children, teaching their children, reading bedtime stories, allowing their children to be a children, giving their children direction, instilling confidence into their children, etc. etc. Mothers & father have become lazy with parenting. Most allow their children to watch tv all day, play video games all day, and listen to music in stead of investing personal time and energy into their children. I am sorry to say this, but a lot of parents are failing at being parents because their are not parenting.

    @ SKy The only time I think a child would be miserable if the mother is not doing a good job at mothering. Being a good mother is possible regardless if a woman is married or not. Any female can have sex and give birth, but it takes a mature, responsible, self-sacrificing adult to be a mother. Yes, being a mother is a hard, sometimes stressful and tiresome job, but guess what? I love every moment of it. Now, I am not condoning having children outside of marriage, because that is the way it should be. However, fathers are absent from the home and mothers need to know in spite of their absence, they still can raise confident, mature, solid, productive, successful, and educated children.

    God bless all my brown sistas and again, I think Chilli is doing a wonderful job with being a mother/parenting.

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