Let’s Talk About Sex Baby

It’s strange to think that people can start a new relationship and have no problem with having sex right away, but yet, these same people find it sort of taboo to actually discuss their past sexual history with their new partner prior to taking such a huge step. But the reality is this; you have to be able to engage in a conversation about sex with your partner or partners, whatever the case may be. HIV/AIDS is real. STD’s (STI’s) are real.

Here are five questions you should ask your partner before engaging in any sexual activities. Here we go.

1. How many sex partners have you had in the past? How many sex partners have you had in the past year?

2. Have you ever had unprotected sex?

3. Have you ever been treated for a STD (STI)?

4. When was the last time you took a HIV test?

5. Are you looking for a monogamous relationship? Find out if you and your partner are seeking the same thing out of the relationship. Is he looking for a monogamous relationship or just looking for a “friend,” meaning a friend with benefits. You need to be aware of this.

You’re no dummy, so be aware that some lying may be involve. Your partner may not be completely honest with his answers. Pay attention to his body language. Check for a smirk on his face and if he starts stuttering, then you can suspect that something may be up. But at the end of the day, it’s important that you ask these questions to help you determine if you want to take the relationship to the next level. No one is going to look out for you like you. Be smart! And if you decide to go to the next level, make sure you use a condom.

By the way, just know that since you want to discuss you partner’s sexual history, he may very well want to discuss yours. Watch your body language ladies! Lol!


  1. I think #1 & 2 should be combined because how many partners have you had is highly likely to lead to unnecessary judgement and/or feelings of inadequecy

  2. I think its also important to know that some ppl will lie for every question (or ignorant to the truth), so be sensible no matter what the answers are. Also know that those answers change over time. Good guys go bad too

  3. I can relate to the #1. question I just turned 22 yrs old and my partner is 23 yrs old we went to high school together and now we are back together again.. when I had previously talked to my partner face to face I told him I had not had any sexual partners before or after him. ( so I still considerd myself a virgin or shall I say celibate being as though it was that 1 time we had together) I told him he was my first and Wether He wanted to hear It or believe it about what I had told him ..I was confident and comfortable enough to let him know that I am very much well aware of my body and who I give my body too I had ask my partner the #1. question and he responded he had females before and after me and I didn’t give him the benefit of the doubt …because I had not talked or seen him in two years…but I’m never the judge mental type because at the end of the day men will be men they can pretty much “SOIL THERE ROYAL OATS” whenever they want to “if y’all know what I mean lol…but I seriously want our friendship to become more than what it is not just that 1 thing! but overall I do agree with the 5 questions above

  4. Why do you need to know about my pass adventures, I feel your judging me on a period of time when I didn’t even know you!

  5. I think they all valid questions. Thanks for putting this out there….although its info we already know, soem may take it for granted that the world will NOT look out for you. You have to look out for SELF first!

  6. I do feel that Q 1 gives people (men) reason to judge you (women). I think the smartest thing is for both partners to get tested together for all stds or get tested (full std panel) separately and share the printd results from the doctor.

    If the the other person seems reluctant/procrastinates or says (s)he doesn’t want to get tested out of fear, then maybe it is a hint that he or she may have had alot of unprotected sex and it probably isn’t a goodidea to sex that person.

    I like the idea of getting tested before sex because herpes is easily contracted even if you do use a condom.

  7. ALL great questions.Why would anyone be offended. SEX is SERIOUS.. I flip out when people have sex w/ people wear a condom but don’t know the HIV/STD status of the person, that is so crazy to me and foolish and shows a total lack of self control and idiocy.

  8. i think all these questions are important. a year ago i contacted herpes from my boyfriend. the first time we had sex we didnt use a condom. i think about that day everyday and how i was so dumb not to protect myself.he said he didnt know he had it which could be true because most people who have dont know they have it but he could have been lying.just like Lovely said you can get herpes even it you where a condom. so please ask these questions. you cant depend on anyone to know their status or tell you the truth you must always look out for number 1. he was the second guy i had ever had sex with. now he recently broke up with me because he is no longer attracted to me. i have been extermely sad and crying everyday all day.what am i going to do now. i am scared to death that no one will ever love me or want to have sex with me again.PLEASE GET TESTED AND HAVE YOUR BF/GF TESTED TO BEFORE SEX.

  9. Good Post! I was just thinking about this subject the other day and how it SILL needs to be discussed more.

  10. Forgive me if anyone else has pointed this out, but another reason to not only ask questions but both share STD test results is because some people may not have ever been treated for an std, but may still have one and NOT KNOW IT. Men especially can carry an STD and not have any symptoms whatsoever–esecially if they haven’t had sex in a minute because alot of times they don’t exerience discomfort until during or immediately after intercourse.

  11. 1. How many sex partners have you had in the past? How many sex partners have you had in the past year?

    2. Have you ever had unprotected sex? Yes, w/my child’s father.

    3. Have you ever been treated for a STD (STI)? Yes, My 1st daughter’s father gave me Chlamydia almost 18 yrs ago.

    4. When was the last time you took a HIV test? In March 2010.

    5. Are you looking for a monogamous relationship? I’m in one.

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