I hope that this letter finds you in a better place than of the one where we met. It was an unfortunate discovery that we both shared and loved the same man. And while he chose me in the end, I didn’t feel victorious. I felt sorry for you.
As a woman, I wanted to address you for knowingly participating in a relationship with an attached man but I did not. I addressed him. As a woman, I was raised to believe that whether you knew or not, my beef was with him. He allowed the disrespect. As a woman, I felt sorry for you because you were OK with being the other woman. Who does that? Oh, right–you!
I didn’t get it. I actually thought you were pretty and full of potential. But from what I’ve heard, you didn’t see that in yourself.
Needless to say, I didn’t address you. I let you and him go. I’ve seen you around and after a few years, it or you don’t even bother me anymore. Besides a mom or grandmother, I pride myself in being the only woman that a man concerns himself with. Whatever you and I shared — he was a boy.
Years have passed and while I haven’t had to deal with you since, I’ve seen my friends have their own versions of you. I don’t get it. Are there schools where you all attend and graduate with different degrees? There’s the one that kind of knew but didn’t know, knew but didn’t care and the one that was completely in the dark.
And those of you who knew but didn’t care, have gone to extreme measures to prove that bitch is a lifestyle that everyone represent like you. Like seriously, are you texting the “wife” to remind her that her man was with you and how stupid she is for not knowing? Or how about giving her advice on how to keep a man. Really?
I scratched my head every time one of these stories got back to me. I had to think of reasons why my friends shouldn’t entertain you or why they shouldn’t give into temptation to slap the life out of you. Because at that point, it’s bigger than his disrespect, it’s your knowledge of disrespect and continuation of the behavior. Yall go hard in the paint. And as much as you deserve an old fashioned azz whipping, you’re not worth it.
What do you guys get out of this? A couple of steak dinners, some occasional you know what and a pair of hooker boots? Because often times, you’re not the one he’s parading around in public.
So why do yall keep doing it? I don’t know, but I wish each of you saw the beauty and potential inside of yourselves. Someone can and will love you and it doesn’t have to be another woman’s man. You don’t have to like me, but damn have some respect for yourself.
To each his own. Literally.