Cyber Hugs to my Brown Sistas and Fellas. What a week right?
If you’re anything like GT you were probably on needles and pins Tuesday night only to breathe a sigh of relief at the good news: that we now have our country’s first African-American President elect. Even saying it sounds strange. GT thought for sure that she would be drinking a bottle of clorox if Barack didn’t win; but now I’m eating Obama O’s for breakfast; just beaming with pride.
This week’s Get Togetha/Brown Sista post is dedicated to Michelle Obama; a woman who stood behind her man through thick and thin and looked great while doing it. GT absolutely hearts her. Isn’t she an inspiration? Black Love is real and we saw the result of it on November 4th.
They say behind every good man is a good woman. Do you agree or disagree? How can a woman make a man better without being his mama?
:iagree: I Love Michelle Obama and I believe that saying is true behind every good man is a good woman. She is a strong independent woman. Love the Obama’s. :thumbsup:
I absoultly love love Michelle she is the primary reason, I voted she is a defination of a strong black women! She rode w/ him the whole time and didnt lose faith at any time!!! :iagree:
Rayna.
If she lost any faith; she sure didn’t show it. Neither one of them did.
i LOVE MICHELLE SHE IS TRULY A ROLE MODEL :thumbsup:
Oh yes, behind every good man there is a good woman. A woman can make a man better by standing by him. Supporting his goals and celebrating his accomplishments while giving him unconditional love. It’s about loving each other thru the trenches. Michelle is a wonderful example of grace under fire. Media outlets tried to “lynch” her after a simple comment she made about the country, but she didn’t let them kill her spirit. Knowing he had a woman of substance Barack immediately came to her defense. It was the first and only time I actually saw bonifide anger in him. We as black women are more than just an image. We are not easily defeated. We have substance and when WE have a good man by our side We (together) ARE AN UNSTOPPABLE FORCE!
@ Katrina you said all in a nut shell. Sometime you have to listen to them too. Go Michelle i have so much respect for her. I know im a good person but she just made me step up my game as far as myself.
Katrina. :bowdown:
And let the church say amen! Couldn’t have said that better mahself.
And yes! Lady. Michelle does make you want to step up your game. Mother, Attorney, Harvard Grad, and Fit….she gives you a lot to admire and respect…
Katrina, you hit the nail right on the head! I still can’t believe that he is president! It feels like a good dream but I’m waiting for someone to wake me:) I’m anxious to see what’s next with the Obama’s. I actually believe Barack when he says that he will make change. It’s so much pressure on him as a black man, he has no choice. BTW, who was the other little girl with the Obama’s when he was announced president? She had cornrolls and a blue dress. Was it his niece? Anyone know?
Well….I mean what do you exspect? Sisters are strong and intelligent. I mean you don’t have to go to Harvard to find a savvy sister-we are all over! Michelle puts BLACK women on the international map. We have long been ignored and degraded and this will ensure that the the community at large understands our strength. I can’t wait until he makes the much needed changes for our nation-it will be a delight to watch. I saw that the French president and his wife wrote to the French public about racism and they are charging the country to stand up and move the elite aside for a new view on politics-that is what Barack and Michelle are inspiring! They are pulling all nations into the fold :bowdown: :hifive: :thumbsup:
I’m am absolutely in love with the fact that we have an intelligent 100% black woman in the white house. Not a watered down sista. She is from the south side of Chicago, a full blown, shapely woman (with a booty) who is well educated and tasteful. I love it all and I do believe she should get some credit for him winning.
Liyah, as a mixed race woman I am disgusted by your comment “watered down sista.” For one, you sound ignorant; Michelle is not 100% black (Barack during one speech said that his wife has white lineage). Further, comments like the one you made engender division in the black community. Get a hold of yourself and go read some history.
And since we’re on the topic, Liyah, does it bother you that your next president is a “watered down brotha?” Ohh, the ignorance.
I too Love Michelle Obama. She will make us (women and especially women of colour) proud!
A woman can make a man better by being his partner. And he has to be secure within himself to be able to handle that strong woman. Because she is definately a strong woman and he realized that that would only make him stronger.
So to all of these black men out here who have these strong women that they get a little intimidated by, if you , just let her be her then you will only be a better you. Don’t try to tear that strength down because when you are down that strength is what will lift you up.
I am so proud of Barak & Michelle because they are showing our generation what can be accomplished if we work as a team and realize we are not each others enemies.
People don’t kill me :bag:
I think what Liyah is trying to say is that sometimes brothers can choose certain type of women.Hence, some women we see athletes, politician, actors, etc,. marry. I don’t think she was trying to be ignorant. I mean in SOME! I repeat SOME circles Michelle wouldn’t have been seen as the Kim Kardishian on the block.Now, as for me and my girls that is normal-degree,job,etc., we as African American have to understand the HISTORY behind some of the choices SOME-SOME..brothers make when they marry.Yes, we all have our choices and we all desire different things,However, some people including the media have made it a point to single out certain types of Sistas. Don’t make me provide some research on ya’ll! I have to only scan a few magazines and the news.Now, Liyah is saying that she is proud that Michelle is someone (her type) who she thinks may have been disenfranchised in the media and sometimes the black community-not in our black homes! But the media! Did I make it sound better? whew……..Now, we as a community must make some much needed changes and one of those is taking constructive criticism and having respectful debates-agreed?
I am so proud to have Michelle as our next First Lady. Michelle and President-Elect Barack are an inspiration. I love the way they support and love one another and are not afraid to show it in public.
They have become the new face of Black America and America in general.
It takes a strong man to have a strong woman beside him (not behind him). If a man thinks a woman is trying to be his mother when she is trying to encourage/support him, he already has issues. True, some women can go over board, but it takes a strong man to look within himself and a strong woman to know when to back off.
I am so excited!! May we all continue to pray for this wonderful family!
@ Sho Ya Right
Liyah may have gotten ahead of herself by making comments like “water downed sista” and what not but I don’t think her point should be totally dismissed because of it. I could be wrong but I think she is celebrating the fact a darker skin black woman who can’t claim direct mixed-race lineage is the focal point of media–international, national and local– attention. Let’s be honest, darker skin black beauty is not celebrated as often as lighter skin (mixed or not) black beauty thereby making the excitement surrounding Michelle even more significant. Though I would never word it in terms as Liyah’s, I too am thrilled to see a darker skin, non-mixed race black woman being valorized. That among other things of course.
Also @ Sho Ya Right
Comments like Liyah’s alone don’t engender division in the black community necessarily. As with any community, divisions and hierarchies do exist and will inevitably always exist in the black community. People acknowledging them doesn’t necessarily create them. Whether they’re recognized or not, they exist.
I am so excited that we have a woman who makes a difference in not only her family’s life, but other people. It is not just black women who love Michelle, but women period who want to be that supportive and strong woman behind that successful man. But I have to give props to Barack because there are many strong women who stand behind their husbands and boyfriends, to only get thrown to the side when he reaches his goals. I have seen it before. So although I do agree that behind every successful man is a strong and amazing woman, just remember that even if the successful man casts a woman to the side, the woman should remain who she is and not change. Keep being that supportive woman. I do love Michelle and Barack and their image that they present. It just seems so real and pure. I love it.
You know I wasn’t gonna say nothing but I understand Liyah’s comment. Basically Michelle Obama is not a typical light skin trophy wife. There I said it. I don’t mean to be divisive cause black is black; but light skin chicks know the deal and a hit dog holla when it hurts.
I have plenty of women friends who have been saying the same thing… thanking God that Michelle Obama is a chocolate Brown Betty. Cause normally don’t get to see them in their full shining glory. I wish light skin chicks could just admit that the ration of positive exposure for Brown Sistas is not leveled. Light Skin Chicks always the first ones screaming about color don’t matter; but then they reap all the benefits of being in the spotlight.
Color does matter in the black community. Ashanti, B, Rhi-Rhi, Alicia, Keyshia Cole…All light…that’s not a coincidence people!
Hopefully the relationship of Barack and Michelle will change that ignorant dynamic in our community.
And part of the reason why Michelle was attacked by mainstream media was because of the hue of her skin. Cause Trust…if she woul’dve been light…she would have been right…and the media would have left her alone. Why do you think the New Yorker gave Michelle a Black Power Afro?
Cause she’s dark. That’s why.
@UnalteredBeauty i was about to say something to sho ya right. If you read between liyah line i think she was not disrespectful at all. We just excited that we have one of us in the white house that have alot of sense, beautiful, smart. She love her husband and her children. She a strong bold woman that i that i really look up too beside my mother.
@Sho ya right like i tell people on here i do respect your comments. OBAMA AND MICHELLE 09.
Unadultered Beauty: I can definitely understand where you’re coming from. Thanks for putting Liyah’s coarse remarks into perspective.
Though a part of me still finds it unsettling that we are dissecting Michelle’s lineage and determining whether she is “black enough.” After all, if we were to do the same with Barack (the actual president-elect) some wouldn’t be truely content, because, after all, Barack is half white.
@ Sho Ya Right
Oh absolutely! I agree but I think the reason why Michelle’s “lineage is being dissected” as you claim is because there is an assumption that successful black men (whether biracial, dark or light) tend to date/marry non-black or light complexion black women. People are just excited about Michelle’s color because it disrupts the notion that all well-to-do black men (or biracial black men) marry light women.
I agree with Sho Ya Right. Ol’ girls comment sounded just as silly as a light skin dude coming on here saying he’s glad Barack is light skinned and is being seen as handsome and sexy because light skin dudes haven’t gotten play for years. It just sounds ignorant.
@ Lovin’Life
I don’t think it’s ignorant. It may not be “politically correct” ( :roll: ) but it’s not ignorant. You’ve got to remember, when we talk about race, we are inevitable talking about complexion as well. It’s a part of the territory whether we like it or not.
GT, pass the Obama O’s!!! :smile:
Yes. What a week it was, girl!!
I agree with that quote. I think now-a-days some ppl even say, “Beside every great man is a great woman.” As great women we show support from every angle and direction w/o getting in the way and allowing the man to be the man he needs to be. I think that’s the only way to help a man be… a better man. Other than that, no woman can make a man better. He has to already be on that path and the woman lends the prayer and support he’ll need to maintain.
But, my question is: how many times does this stereotype have to be disrupted, as you put it? I can name many successful black men who are married to dark skinned sistahs: Denzel Washington, Snoop (I’m sorry, I had to include him…he’s one of the first who came to mind), and Samuel L. Jackson, to name a few.
Don’t get me wrong, I understand the plight. We as black women (whether we are “pure” or of mixed heritage) are not as revered as our European counterparts. But, what would it take? Would it have needed to be 50/50 (with half of successful black men marrying dark skinned women) for the hue of a black woman’s skin to not be an issue in one of the most momentous times in our history as a people?
UnadulteredBeauty: I feel ya. I still think it’s sad that in 2008, the color of our skin, even within a race, is an issue. We face colorism from all angles.
@ Lovin’Life
Well now that the FIRST LADY is a darker skin black woman, I think the stereotype has been disrupted once and for all! :lol: j/k
Seriously, like a said, as long as race is an issue, complexion will be an issue. The two are inextricable and you can’t sidestep one over the other. Period.
Also, the fact that Michelle’s complexion is an issue IS NOT a bad thing. After all, race was a huge factor in this year’s election and that’s not a bad thing. People (especially us blacks) are just happy and celebrating physical representations of ourselves in positions of power. Damn right! :smile:
:brownsista: :thumbsup: :bowdown: Michelle is a outstanding role model not just for “women of colour” but for all american women, she is very inspirational,educated,classy,naturally beautiful and articulate. I am so proud to have a woman represent someone who looks like me!
Go head unaltered beauty. 2 me i think we all beautiful people it should not be a lightskin or darkskin we all african american anyway you put it. It a shame some people have issue with skin color. So many of us been poison do not mean to say it but it the truth. Light it right and dark is wrong. That not true at all. Im happy that i had a mother that made me look at everyone equal. I love all color of r skin. Let all get together and just empraise each other. I do not know what anybody look like on here that me in the little box. I enjoy reading all people comments on here even the crazy one. But at least we can come together and just speak on different issue. But i notice the skin color allway comes up and just sad. Look in the mirror and enjoy what you see. Luv my brownsista.
Some of us really need to stop being preoccupied with the inconsequential. Stop playing victim and take charge of your lives. Who claims “light is right and dark is wrong”? The only people I hear say that are darker complected people who have chips on their shoulders. I have many light skinned people in my family and not once have I heard any of them allude to any belief that they are superior because of their hue. In fact, I’ve never heard a light skinned person say or suggest such nonesense. Let’s move on now, its 2008. We have a black president elect and more blacks in positions of power than ever. For real.
*sigh*
I give up. If only you were right… If only what you said makes total sense…
To each his own
Sho Ya Right.
With all respect due…who says that the light skin people you know are the measuring stick of how light skin people feel about dark? Do you really think you speak for all light skin folks?
..I agree that this conversation is getting hella played and foolish; but stop being so sensitive. I’m dark and I love being dark. But I did the work to get there. But I’m also mature enough to understand that many people have not done that work or are not mature enough; especially our young dark sistas who are constantly beat ova the head with light is right. That’s the truth whether you want to believe it or not.
When was the last time you reached out to a young dark sista? Probably never.
I love all my sisters. Really I do. But I’m also real. I refuse to stick my head in the stand and pretend that the color divide in Black America isn’t real.
No disrespect GT. I love your website and your positivity…I just get so angered when people start acting like they know it all..
Harlem Chick, I think the only person commenting on this issue who seems to think they know it all is you. I don’t claim to be the measuring stick for how all light skinned people think; but, should you and your experiences define what it is like to be [fill in the blank] in America? Obviously, all we can do is comment on our own experiences and what we know to be true. Perhaps you missed that point (I thought it went without saying).
You also claim to know a whole lot about me. For example, why does it seem probable that I haven’t reached out to a dark skinned sistah about this? For your information (since you’re so concerned) I have a dark skinned half sister who I love dearly and think is beautiful. I don’t hesitate to tell her that either. Even still, I think it’s lame that to this day, there are some people who can’t let the color issue go. I’m mad that I’m going to one day have to raise children in a world where they will be too dark for some and not dark enough for others. It’s sickening.
Furthermore, Harlem Chic, since we’re all in each other’s business, when’s the last time you reached out to a light skinned sistah to tell her you accept her for who she is, thinks she’s beautiful and view her as being apart of the black community just as you do darker skinned folk? Hmmm, probably never.
Sho ya Right.
Gurl Bye! It’s all good and I wish you well. Trust…this whole topic is small fish.
Michelle is what every black woman should aspire to be educated and respectful of herself might it be body, soul or mind,
As for the light skin dark skin issues it pains me to say that liyah makes a great point thought you can’ t take a couple of people as an example but society as a whole I’ m light skin and my sister is dark we have the same father she just took my mother’ s complexion, I personally always see the darkest boy talk about if a” shawty aint light with long hair i ain’ t checking for her”, I also see darker sisters praising lighter because they are insecure in their own skins, I also see a lot of people using a “you hate her cause she light skin” argument to defend themselves or someone
so i understand where liyah is coming from, true i can’ t use what i experienced as an example but i know what’ s around me first before going outside and exploring the world But let me tell you right now that i am so so happy that a DARK SKIN EDUCATED AND BEAUTIFUL sister is showing everyone how it’ s done, because we are down talking dark sisters and fitting them into stereotypes that doesn’t do them justice]
sho ya right when you say “I’m mad that I’m going to one day have to raise children in a world where they will be too dark for some and not dark enough for others. It’s sickening.” I understand you perfectly and aren’ t going to sit here and pretend you talking crazy, How many black women are having children with men just so they can come out light? How many are bleaching their children? how many are telling their kids not to marry light girls? how many thinks dark skin girls are easier than lighters one? It goes both way and you’ re as right as liyah is. This issue won’ t stop as long as racism exist and it’ s sad I think my sister is 100% prettier than i am she is dark hershey chocolate and have a class and sensuality i’ ll never have yet i get “stopped” more than she does because a lot of people still have that slave mentality , she doesn’ t care she married but you know what i mean?
I think michelle is a great example that anyone, any color as long as you educate and respect who you are you can achieve anything, She is the real icon doesn’ t matter what color she is !
Katrina: Which is why i will always support sisters that try to be something else than a great figure, i’ ll support my educated sisters better than a beautiful sister, because beauty is ephemere it just last for a moment before something more beautiful captive one’ s mind, Amen to you
GO HEAD VOICE. IT A SAD SUBJECT.
Voice, I def feel ya lady.
Michelle is truly an inspiration and someone i look up to she really does stick by her man while also being a mother to her kids and Voice i totally feel you ,I couldn’t have said it better,you definently told the truth.
Voice-keep it real gurl——–
Being black in America-means facing the obstacle not running away from it. It pains me to see people who what to “drop” the subject. Life doesn’t drop nor does it float away when things get hard. The essence and soul of a people is to be able to conquer problem by rooting them out. In order to do that, you must identify them and work through them. Race& Class issues span the time from biblical days to the current. It will not go away by you wishing it to do so, or by ignoring it. We as a race have issues like any other race or people. As long as you keep quite and hope people don’t discuss it the worse it gets. I love the forum where we can get together, while we are supposed to be working…lmao and talk-shoot the ****. Color will remain and issue as long as the few and/or the many can benefit from any such attitude-keep it real.
I know people who have made comments about color more light than dark but most times I know without that, they would be nothing-I’m smart and I have many friends. Most people I know who live life on those terms-don’t have anything but themselves. But I hate to see when we as a people want to pretend just because “I don’t know anyone in my light/dark family that does that” so it doesn’t happen!
@ Sho ya right and all the others jumping on the bandwagon :stop: first of all, when I said a “watered down sister”, I meant a sister who ignores WHO SHE IS. I have nothing against bi racial individuals as I have biracial relatives. I only ask one thing of you…. “Please ask me to elaborate on what I meant before you jump the gun” Because when I wrote that comment, I was not talking about biracial individuals. And NO I don’ t think my president is watered down. Next time ask me what I meant please :roll: I am not in the mood for this today
@ Unaltered Beauty
Thank you for seeing my point and breaking it down for Sho ya Right. You said it perfectly. I don’t come on this blog to hurt any one’s feelings but as a human being sometimes you can’t avoid it.
I was just watching Chris rock on youtube the video must have been filmed before barack won the election. Chris was really offensive and said that baracks problem was that he has a black wife! He said she would basically demand attention and run things. His comments really pissed me off because he was perpetuating a stereoytpe about black women and quintessentially saying that in order for a man to be successful his wife needs to be behind him and not beside him. WTF! If it weren’t or Michelle barack would not be where he is today. She was his rock during some very tough times and she took so much heat, just because she is an independent and successful woman of colour.
I hate when men like Chris talk about black women, or women n general in such a pejorative manner. Of all the women to hate on Michelle does not deserve that. She has achieved so much and I look up to her as a role model. She’s proof that with a every great man, there is a great woman standing beside him, not behind him.
As for the whole light/dark issue, it irks me soo much. I’ve been on both ends, and your always going to be too light for some too dark for others. I personally dont give a rats ***. People, especially people of colour need to get over it because if we don’t embrace our own complexions, then why the heck should white people accept us? It starts within our own communities, we need to accept ourselves firstin order for things to change (thats if it ever will).
Liyah, my comments re your remarks still stands. The fact that you’d comment on the degree to which Michelle is black is problematic. And again, she’s not 100% black. Oh, no, are you now troubled by her being the First Lady elect or not as elated?
It’s sad when people take offense to others opinions when those opinions differ from their own. If you don’t want to hear others opinions, don’t come to a forum where others express them. I’m not mad at anything any of you said on this post; I’m just mad at the implications of those viewpoints. It’s one thing to acknowledge there is colorism in our race. It’s an entirely different story to ACCEPT it. We help to create our reality.
And to Liyah, even though you replied all stank, I still ain’t mad at it. You’re entitled to your attitudes. Anyway, I can glean that you have love for all shades of black beauty, as you’ve commented on your love for darker complected beauties and you have a light skinned one as your icon.
Peace.
To breaking down :iagree:
@ Sho your Right
Guess what sweety……..I am just about the same complexion as my gravatar. My Great grandfather was half white and half pomo indian. My mother is fair skinned, so what I hate her too???? I have no problem with anyone, of any race. Also, I did not say I don’t want to hear other people’s opinions, I said I WOULD HAVE LIKED YOU TO ASK ME WHAT I MEANT FIRST!!!!! I am celebrating that fact that Michelle is a darker sister because the media tends to praise the lighter sisters. Tyra Bank’s admitted it herself. There is no need for us to be arguing it’s just a difference in opinion.
Liyah, you seem like a really likable person. :lol2:
Anyways, the Obama family is absolulely lovely. I can’t wait until they are in office :smile:
I totally agree on the saying Gt
I think no one can replace a mother, but i think because every women are naturally mothers I think it is easy to feel our baby’s {husband brother boyfriend} pain and insecurities,therefor we can be the shoulders they lean on when they need it the most , That of course apply to real women instead of fake women but that is another debate
I feel you Liyah and I also feel sho yo right, I think the both of you are 100% right in your own terms and if you cool the animosity down you ‘ ll see how both of your statements are complementary
I really don’ t want to get into this whole dark skin light skin mess, I think my baby Voice said it all
I am very proud of my darkskiness and taking the risk to sound ignorant for a minute i do think that i am the sh— because i consider myself
100% black and very proud of showing it,representing it and being it!
I don’t get offended when people try to use mys kin to justify how i feel about certain subjects
Those people don’ t have an education or a back bone and can’t even give their opinions on important matters
Take in consideration how a lot of brownsista posters are M.I.A on this post? yet so fast to post on entertainers they praise
They just know the color of their skins and that’ s about it ,
so Breaking down i’ m not even offended by Chris rock, he along with a lot of our entertainers are self hating and they are to be pitied
I know to some of you on this website consider me as a “hater” because of some things i say that might be harsh towards one’ s idol
But if you could understand where i’ m coming from there will be no debate, or heated arguments
I wish all of us could at least have a degree in something, a knowledge of the English language and be able to dazzle people with our mind first before our bodies
I really do , when i look at michelle i look at me i went to college, I have kids and expecting more, I helped my man to become the best at what he does and all that while staying beautiful and sexy, I just wish we could all be like michelle and dare i say it myself, and maybe i’ m being selfish but i wish we could all be women of mind and soul before our bodies
Idk maybe i’ m “trippin’”
@ Sho ya right
I am likeable, I’m glad you can see it :brownsista: we all say things that don’t come out right sometimes….
Darksista, congratulations on your twins. I hope to have twins some day, get it all over with in one shot!!! :thumbsup:
Thank you baby :) I already have a set of twins girls to be precise idk what i’ m going to do :lol2: but i have four sisters each one of them is getting one to babysit lool , I heard having a lot of soy in you diet can help you do it, but i think its god will :)
get it all over with in one shot
:lol2:
:lol: I know that was funny!! I like to get things done in one shot, I get up early on Saturdays and do all of my shopping & errands. I’m a one shot chick!!! Besides from what my sisters tell me birth is painful, so if I want two kids (and I do) I better have twins. They run in my husbands family….keep your fingers crossed for me.
Birth is painful girl , i triple dare my girls to slam any door in my face i’ ll make them pay for every stitches and stretch marks loool, I will girl, how soon do you wanna have kids?
:sad: Uh-ah you crazy…LOL!! I want to have kids in about 2 years. I’m really scared. Did you get an epidural?
no i didn’t all natural and hurt as hell but i wanted to respect my mother by not getting any painkillers like she did for all 7 of her children, But you know what? once you hold your baby in my case babies all the pain goes away
Every woman says that so I believe it. Its’ in the bible too..(I’ll find the scripture later) but it does say that the women forgets the pain when the child is born. Amazing right?? I think I will get an epidural though :lol:
Listen you have a good evening, I’ve had a long day so I’m going sign off. Hope this delivery is easy for you. :smile:
It is , I remenber how i felt before and after, girl i was cursing and swinging and you know a sister can fight loool, I’ ll be okay girl thanks you and get some well earned rest C ya tom! :bowdown:
The truth is:
1. Majority of the prominent black women/celebrities/entertainers/idolized symbols of beauty are LIGHT-SKINNED
2. Majority of the main girls in music videos and other similar productions are LIGHT-SKINNED (the dark ones are in the blurry background)
3. Majority of the new black models that are doing super well (I’m not talking about the old supermodels) are LIGHT-SKINNED (Chanel Iman anyone??? She did an astounding 40-something shows in one fashion week), and they get to be photographed in modern, decadent, luxurious, and desirable clothing, while the dark-skinned black models that do get a lot of work are almost always made to shave their heads and get pictorial work as Jungle Mistresses and any other ‘Jungle Themed’ photo shoot.
4. A LOT of single black men that newly come into wealth/success/fame etc marry if not a white woman, then a LIGHT-SKINNED woman. It would seem as if marrying a light-skinned woman is the cherry on top of their achievements, a goal/highly desirable objective to be achieved. A lot of these men give off the impression that marrying or dating a LIGHT-SKINNED woman is a symbol and confirmation of their firm arrival to their new level of higher status.
5. A lot of black men prefer a plain looking LIGHT-SKINNED girl to a stunning dark-skinned girl.
6. A lot of black men (and particularly dark-skinned men – so this is laughable) consider dark-skinned women INFERIOR to light-skinned women.
7. A lot of light-skinned girls claim to understand or to not see colour/complexion or that colour is not important to them but this is because MAJORITY of light-skinned girls get treated slightly better than dark-skinned girls.
8. In films, a LOT of dark-skinned girls are portrayed as hard, ghetto, difficult, uncouth, uncultured, and bad, while a lot of light-skinned girls are portrayed as sensitive, soft, understanding, lovable, helpless (in need of the help of the main hero) etc.
9. A HUGE reason why there is a tension between the perceptions of light-skinned and dark-skinned women is the treatment and reactions that both groups get from men of their own race. Another huge influence is the media. i.e. Everyone wants to be Beyonce and nobody wants to be Kelly or Michelle.
10. In Music, majority of the light-skinned female singers have an easier time transitioning to other entertainment areas and fall into the more pop/rnb categories, while majority of the darker skinned ones fall into the gangster/hiphop/ghetto image. Also the careers of lighter skinned singer/actresses is almost always BIGGER. The generally accepted excuse for this is that they are more ‘mainstream’
11. Men are not subject to this Light-Skin/Dark-Skin rule.
I could go on forever, but it would take too long. I’m happy that Michelle Obama is dark-skinned. I will not lie and I will not hide it. If she were light-skinned, I may have been disgusted. …. May.
No offense to women who are light-skinned because everyone knows that noone chooses their colour, but the truth is that MOST light-skinned women will never fully understand what it means to be a DARK-skinned black woman in America. People will always treat you differently, and automatically assume that you are pretty, nice, friendly, etc, while they will assume that I am unpolished, rough, bitchy, troublesome and possibly poor.
I know that there are people who will immediately call me a ‘hater’ but the truth is that I see this from a different perspective because I’m Nigerian, and I have been fortunate enough to be born in a country where Racism has been unable to touch me. Only when I came to the United States to start university did I finally understand what people meant when they said ‘discrimination’. But that is irrelevant for now. Even in my country, even though it is not as rampant as it is in America, our men have long been victims of ‘white fever’.
Having a white girl on your arm is seen as an accomplishment, something that will make you the envy of everyone around. If you can’t manage to hook a white girl then hey! You can get the next best thing which is a light skinned girl. Now we’ve always had light-skinned people and dark-skinned people and we’ve always treated them exactly the same, but with the influx of Western media in the past ten years more and more men from my country are leaning towards dating light-skinned women at the expense of the rest of the women in the country. These days if a girl walks into a party at home and there’s a rumour that she has even a drop of foreign blood in her, the men fight themselves and fall over just to talk to her, even though there might be scores of other girls present that are ten times more beautiful.
Not surprisingly the 2008 winner of the Most Beautiful Girl in Nigeria pageant was a super light-skinned girl with bright blonde hair. I thought that pageant was supposed to represent the most beautiful typical Nigerian woman? I don’t know about you but I’ve never seen a naturally born Nigerian (without white blood) with super blonde hair.
Just saying….
Well said Katrina; your post is profound. Hopefully, this is a sign of a new dawn.
MJ & The Golden 80s forever!!!
I :iagree: With Diddy, I Love Me Some Michelle, Welcome To The White House Our Beautiful First Lady. And Yes Having Strong Support From Your Baby Is The Key To Success. :bowdown: :bowdown: :bowdown:
I believe the reason the Obama’s work so well together is because they genuinely love and respect each other and they are in this TOGETHER. I can see Michelle ‘melt’ when she looks at him. Mr. President also seems like the kind of man who is NOT INTIMIDATED by strong, educated, atriculate, self-assured women. Some men like their women to be weak, pathetic and tied to his jock strap. But President Obama does not seem like that kind of man. He loves Michelle…..and it is so obvious that she is truly in love with that man. And I LOVE THEM FOR THAT!!!! I hope and PRAY to find that kind of love someday.
sugabelly :iagree:
now thats confidents right there MRS.OBAMA :thumbsup:
i dont understand sometime i mean black people want to be lighter and whites people want get darker they love our skin but we dont that just messedup :sad:
Suga Belly…you hit that on the head and spoke the truth! :brownsista:
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Morning Yall….
Wow. This conversation got intense! LOL… :brownsista:
oh and thanks to those that agree i just kep it real :)
In films, a LOT of dark-skinned girls are portrayed as hard, ghetto, difficult, uncouth, uncultured, and bad, while a lot of light-skinned girls are portrayed as sensitive, soft, understanding, lovable, helpless (in need of the help of the main hero) etc.
Dreamgirls yallll
suga belly girl i’ m ivoirian oh!
Suga belly and i watch miss nigeria i was pissed off even in movies when i think that rita dominic is favored to ini edo and stunning Stunning Omotola jalade I wanna put a bomb somewhere
:bag:
Suga belly u said it right! :iagree: 100%. Just take a look at Reggie Bush, Puffy, and soo much more of these Media types. Obama is showing Black men the light, I hope they don’t get blinded by it,
I LOVE THIS WOMEN SHE IS SOMETHING THAT OUR CHILDREN CAN LOOK UP TO ALL OF THEM ITS JUST PUR BEAUTI RIGHT THERE
mimi :iagree:
@sugabelly -your post is partially true, but arent all black women treated as inferior and seen negatively by black men and every other race ?
ok forget my question …..lol
Hey Sugabelly
I really enjoyed your post. You are totally right.
I’m light-skinned and grew up in Africa (I’m half African, half African-American). I was relatively aware of a general preference for “light-skindedness” by my teenage yrs, but it wasn’t until I came to the U.S. that the whole complexion issue really began to sicken me.
I hate how I have become. I see the way my darker skinned sisters are misrepresented everywhere and it’s poisoning my psyche (I’d guess that about 98% of ALL ads featuring black couples portray the woman as lighter skinned. Now take into account how few ads there are that actually feature black couples).
I also resent light skinned women who complain about the chip on darker skinned sisters’ shoulders without understanding that as social beings, all humans have a natural desire to be admired, loved and respected. They practically never experience the same kind of discrimination and therefore dismiss it. (There are none so blind as those who will not see.)
It also pisses me off when some men want to date me just because of my light skin. That is a sure fire way to completely turn me off forever. Call me crazy but I’d like to be appreciated for who I am as an individual, not for something I have no control over. U can imagine how shocked these guys are when they think they’re giving me a compliment about my complexion, only to have me turn around and put them on the spot. oh how they squirm before i turn around and leave.
On the other hand, I also have to deal with **** from my darker-skinned brothers and sisters (plse keep reading, it’s worth it – i think). From the women, I’ve been called piss colored, high yellar, along with plenty of undercover animosity we females excel at, and even my darker skinned friends make sure to remind me from time to time of how “good I’ve got it”. From the men: I remember walking down the street one day and this guy passing by said, “you’re really pretty and I’d normally try to get your #, but I only date dark-skinned sisters”. Needless to say my whole week was ruined by some petty comment from some guy i don’t even know, and most importantly, DOESN’T KNOW ME.
Another guy I once worked with remarked that if I were to one day wake up with skin as dark as his, I’d probably kill myself.
yup. that’s exactly how he put it.
his comment angered me most. in fact, it still makes me want to cry just thinking about it. Because if you’ll remember, I mentioned earlier that I’m half African and half African-American (which includes Basian roots). Now guess who’s African? My mother.
As a female child it’s invariable that I’ve strongly associated with my mother. + taking into account that I was blessed with a super intelligent, caring, beautiful mother AND that I am her only child, you might be able to imagine how strong our relationship is, and therefore how deep that guy’s comment cut.
My mother is very beautiful (I like to think I look like her), and she’s also very, very dark skinned (darker than most and darker even than my foolish co-worker). So to say that I might one day wake up to look like her and choose to kill myself is to insult my mother (0000h! :noway: ) and the wonderful bond that we share.
And that brings me to another point. people always assume I’m a bi-racial, white mother/black father mix, and treat me accordingly – either like I’m super special, or with a lot of resentment – and then they seem to get upset when I try to explain that I’m BI-CULTURAL. (i guess they’re upset I don’t fit into their neat little box, and so suddenly they’re at a loss of how to treat me.)
There’s so much more I’d like to say, but I’m so tired now and besides, I have this sneaking suspicion that pple might have given up reading this freakishly long post. i rarely do this. honest. :-)
I’d just like to end by saying that there is light at the end of the tunnel (pun intended. lol). And as difficult as it’s proving to be, I’m slowly learning to distance myself from other pple’s issues and control mechanisms. There’s a book that greatly helped and literally changed my life (i’m not kidding. i do not use that term lightly and I’ve read a lot of good books): it’s titled, “Black Beauty” by Ben Arogundade. 1) Please don’t dismiss this as light reading because of all the pictures (in case u pick it up at a bookstore and leaf through it). The author’s a fashion photographer (of the Nigerian Diaspora) so it’s understandable that he included his passion in the project. but trust me, it’s not a fashion book, there’s deepness in there; also, 2) do not be fooled by it’s title, it’s not a black-people-are-better-because-white-people-suck tired tirade. I really believe that misguided ideology was one of the biggest disappointments of the Black Power movement, and reading this book showed me exactly why. By simply chronicling the very concept of black beauty through past times to the present, as it’s been perceived by ourselves and others, this book showed me that putting down another (of a different race, color, creed, sexual and/or religious orientation, whatever) to uplift oneself might work for a little while, but not for long. A soapbox of hate eventually gives out – it makes for a weak stand.
In my case, when I finally stopped resenting white women for their long, silky blond/red/black/brown hair, and came to admire them and also recognize their beauty (not because society told me to do so, but because I wanted to), then lo and behold, I loved myself and my huuge afro all the more! :brownsista:
+ now I’ve decided to lock my hair either the day of, or before Obama’s inauguration! (wait wasn’t this thread supposed to be about Michelle Obama? that’s right. oops :-} )
wow. okay. so much for being tired! that’s it, I’m done, if you read all this up to here, you’re a brave soul and deserve a cookie, or a medal… or something! I don’t know what tho… how about a cyber hug? {{you}} oooh. wait. got it. here: :hifive:
ciao. peace and blessings to all.
Sweet Delicacy.
Your points were poignant and well taken. This topic is so divisive; yet at the end of the day you must find within yourself the skin deep beauty that makes you radiate on the outside. No amount of pigment can determine that. You can’t help what you were born with whether light or dark but you do have the power to create a person that will shine: You. Too often we use other people’s ruler’s as a measuring stick for what lies beneath the surface.
Sweet Delicacy.
I read all of your post and girl i’ m feeling you 100% it goes both ways it is just sad that a few individuals take it upon themselves to select what beauty should be and what is even sad is that sisters and brothers light and dark chose to engage into this clave mentality and those horrible discrimination, My father is Chinese and Jamaican and my mother Is 100%African Ivoirian and senegalese, all my sibblings are light very light and very chinky eyes long haired even the boys lool I’ m dark just like my mother very dark and took my dad eyes and the long hair that i never relaxe lol
all my life i’ ve been called a ******* , people asked my dad to submit my mother to a lie detector and paternity test because no way the dark child was his, My dad of course refused because he loves and respect my mother, but due to all the pains and insult for my 9th birthday i askd my mother for a paternity test and it came back proving that i was my father’ s daughter at 99.9 percent.
I’ m telling you there is soooo Much pain behind everyone’ s story which is why i try as much as i can not to help reinforcing the stereotype because i know some light sisters are sickened by this whole mess, even though some others love the atention they get because of their skins and take a deep pleasure in ridiculing darker sisters and reinforcing the stereotype, It’ s evident that you have been raised by a strong very strong and beautiful mother {God bless her} and i wish you the best :)
@Sweet Delicacy: :hifive: well said and true.