The “L” word. Exactly how important is it for your partner to say that they love you? Also, how often should one expect it to hear it? When we embark on our dating experience we are not given a handbook. Sure, some might be lucky enough to have a few individuals around to assist them along the way with some words of wisdom but the final decision rests on the individual. Personally, when I become serious with a guy and we have reached the point where love is a part of the relationship I like to hear it not only because it makes my little heart feel good but also because this is a crazy world. People leave out to go to work and never come home. I at least want you to know how I felt about you and you I with no doubts. However, I have been told that I was loved and never actually felt it through the persons actions. Which brings me to the concept that love is not only a four letter word but an action.
With that being said, is it essential when dating someone for an extended period of time that they tell you they love you? What if your partner is afraid to say it first? Some feel as though they loose a sense of control and are submitting to another person when they say those words. Some cannot handle being that emotionally open. I know because I use to be one of those people.
Ladies, do you put a time limit on when you should hear it? If a person never says it, do you stay with them? I have a friend who dated her man for over a year and he never once said the four letter word to her. She would call me upset and hurt not understanding. I asked her “does she think he loved her?” She would say “yes”. I said “why?” She responded “because he shows me. He is always there when I need him and seems devoted to me.” I replied with “maybe he feels he is showing you his love. Isn’t that enough?” She paused for a moment and replied with an honest “No. I need to hear him say it.” I had to agree with her. If I was in her position, I would want to hear it as well. It simply is not enough to guess or assume how a person is feeling these days. Plus, the actions that she considers love could just be standard boyfriend actions for him.
In the same aspect, some people take love to an extreme a’ la’ Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odum and are in love after dating two weeks and married after a month. I don’t want to judge but eff it, that type of love doesn’t seem sincere to me (guess I am judging, oh well). How can you love me when you do not know me? The first few months of dating everyone is on their best behavior. It is only after year or so that people start to let it all hang out even in small doses. What about when I am on my cycle and my moods are less than desirable and I want to lay around the house in my duck pajamas and scarf eating Almond Joys? Will you love me then? Or when I am on the toilet and I am having a “Al Bundy” moment and am in need of a roll of toilet paper? Will you love me enough to bring me one? Sure it sounds brash but I am trying to prove a point.
Love unlike so many of the other four letter words should not be taken lightly. With that being said, if you do love someone then there should be nothing stopping you from showing it and saying it. They compliment each other. Truth be told expressing it with words is just as important as expressing it with actions. Without those three words, how can a person be certain?
Written By: LJ Knight
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