Meet My Monster In-Law

She helped create him.  She helped mold him.  She helped him become the man he is today.  The man you absolutely adore, love and value.   But goodness gracious, must she be the start and end all and be all to everything concerning him?

They say judge a man by the way he treats his mother but is there a such thing as treating your mother too good?  Yes, absolutely.

I once dated a guy who would cut our date short so that we could take his mother grocery shopping for non-essentials on a Friday night.  The first time, it was cute.  I could understand.  Hey, you only get one mom.  But by the second and third time, I found myself looking for the nearest exit out of that situation.  He couldn’t be serious.  But he was and he looked to me to sympathize and understand.

But I just couldn’t.  The only thing I saw was his mother needing to run to the grocery store to stock up on spices while we were heading off for our honeymoon or while I was in labor with our first child. And really, I can understand the connection between a mother and son.  I don’t have any sons but I look at my brothers and cousins with the same love.  Selfishly, no matter what woman comes into their lives, I’d like to think that I secretly still pull some kind of rank over them.  But the difference is, I don’t exercise it.  I let them live.

I can’t imagine how I’ll be with my son. But I’d like to think that just like a bicycle, at some point I’ll have to remove the training wheels and let him go.  If not, I’ll be stuck doing his laundry and organizing his bills because he’s so attached to me that another woman doesn’t have the energy to deal with him.

The truth is, as much as I’ll love my son, I really don’t want to be that mom that people refer to as monster in-law.  I’ve met a few potentials and it was enough to steer me back to the singles party.

-Ashley Charisma is the author of School of Black Love.  For more info on Ashley Charisma and the novel visit

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