ESSENCE.com: Is Phoenix privy to all the gossip?
MEL B: No, I tell her what she needs to know because there are certain things that your kids don’t need to know. They don’t need to know the ins and outs of breakups. I simply give her a heads-up: This is how it is and if you have a problem with that, then let’s talk about it.
ESSENCE.com: It’s truly sad to hear such things.
MEL B: My thing was to look at the bigger picture: for a Black guy in 2007 to even go there. As a Black man with “X” amount of kids, you already have a horrible stigma attached to you. Do yourself a favor and be classy.
ESSENCE.com: Have you ever run into Tracey Edmonds?
MEL B: No, never. And if I did I wouldn’t be horrible, I’d be polite. At the end of the day, she?s in that situation and I’m in a whole different situation.
ESSENCE.com: Did you call Eddie after watching the clip of the show?
MEL B: I did. I called him and we had a really brief conversation and it went something along the lines of, “I’ll call you back”—and he never did.
ESSENCE.com: So you haven’t heard from him since then?
MEL B: I called his assistant to let her know I was going into labor and the baby would probably be born within the next 24 hours. I asked her to please let him know and she responded, “He knows.” And still nothing; not even a hello to the baby, not even a nappy (diaper) or flowers bought, nothing.
ESSENCE.com: Was Eddie ever excited about your pregnancy?
MEL B: Oh this was a completely planned pregnancy. This wasn’t some random, “Oops I fell over and I’m pregnant.” I don’t live my life like that. I’m a responsible parent and have been a responsible single parent since I got divorced. This is the one thing that really annoys me. If I wanted to have a baby I would have had a baby a long time ago. I wouldn’t have waited eight years to have another one.
ESSENCE.com: Wow. So you two sat down and decided to have a child?
MEL B: Yes, of course. As soon as I had my IUD removed we proceeded to get pregnant. It happened quicker than we expected but it was perfect timing.
ESSENCE.com: What made it perfect timing?
MEL B: Because we planned to get married at Christmas, but then we had to change it once I got pregnant and we decided that after the baby was born we’d get married.
ESSENCE.com: Why do you think he went flip mode and publicly denied his flesh and blood?
MEL B: First of all, I’m a very independent woman so if you’re trying to control me, that’s not going to happen. In any relationship, it’s all about compromise. We were going to buy a house in Malibu and move in together. Somehow things got confused along the way because there were certain things that went on in his house with his lifestyle that I wasn’t prepared to be a part of. So that became a trippy discussion, which ended up where we both refused to budge.
ESSENCE.com: What is it about his lifestyle that you don’t like?
MEL B: I have a baby with this guy so I have to be somewhat respectful. I’ll simply say that there were lifestyle changes that he would have to make if we were going to live together and do it properly. I have a house where it?s about my kids and me. I don’t have people knocking on my door at 3 and 4 in the morning. I have a very simple life—I don’t have a ton of people looking after my kids—I’m a very regular person when it comes to that because I want my kids to have a normal life as much as possible.
ESSENCE.com: Hold up. I’m confused. Were you hoping to iron out those issues upon your return from London?
MEL B: Yes. When I left for London I thought I would return and we’d finish our discussion. Instead, I returned to, “It’s over and I’m with somebody else.” For me, that was confusing. I still haven’t received closure on that because before I left, we said, “This is what I need and this is what you need.” But I got nothing. And I’m not about to go knocking on somebody’s door like, “Hold on a minute, what happened? Why are you doing this to me?” I have too much pride and self-esteem to be treated that way. Obviously, what I said must have hurt him to make him react that way because the guy doesn’t speak about his relationships, period. I didn’t want to have a rocky pregnancy, so I moved to the beach with my kids and my dogs. I had an amazing pregnancy—my labor was so easy—and I gave birth to an amazing daughter.
Check back tomorrow for part 2.