I have heard the line about women having to mold their man and turn them from boys to men for years but I never really took heed to it. I always felt that it was counterintuitive. Why should I have to raise someone that is supposed to be the leader in the household? Shouldn’t he be leading me? Shouldn’t we both be aiding in one another’s growth? Essence recently ran an article titled “Make Your Man A King”. The author of the article pointed out that women of today do not know how to treat a man like a King. He cited that women of today do not know how to take care of their man. They do not cook and clean like momma use to. They do not know how to love a man like Grandma used to. They do not know how to make a man a King. He went on to say that it is the woman’s job to crown the man a King. To make him the man that he is destined to be. Really?
This male author and others like him are all a part of a larger problem. The issue is of a woman having to take on a man like he is a lifelong project. The expectation is that a woman has to become a second mother to her man and coddle him into manhood through all of his screw ups, immaturity, and growing pains. We should be there to constantly mold him and kiss his boo-boos. It seems to me that the roles have reversed. Men now feel that they should be taken care of like a woman would. While the woman should be the one taking on the role of the caregiver, provider etc..
Also, I do not think that the real issue has anything to do with a woman not being willing to cook or clean for a man. There are women who are willing to do that and more. The issue is that the men of today have become spoiled and feel that the woman should not only work, but cook, clean etc.. While they take a back seat to the responsibilities. The same men who want their woman to cook, clean, etc are usually not as willing to play their role as a man. This includes being a provider, being loyal, making a comfortable, safe and stable home for his wife and kids. Men like this author are some of the same ones that feel that the woman should be courting them instead of them courting the woman. They want the woman to take on both roles and still respect them as a man. An impossible request!
When the author states his issues with today’s woman, I have to first laugh hysterically and then go on to disagree vehemently. Sure there is absolutely nothing wrong with a woman taking care of her household, taking care of her man and children. However, what are you, as the man, willing to give? Are you going to step up and take on the role of a King? Are you going to be provider, protector, husband and Father that you were designed to be? See, a man cannot be expected to be treated like a King and reap the benefits while not taking on the responsibilities that come along with the role. If you want the job then you have to embrace it wholeheartedly.
We also need to stop facilitating the idea that it is a woman’s job to mold a boy into a man. Take notice of the millions of single Mothers who sometimes have a difficult time raising a young boy into a man. It was never a job created for them do alone.
A man has to want to be a good man. A man has to make the decision that he is a King and behave like one. The decision to leave boyhood for manhood has little to do with the woman. This is why some men can have a good woman and still mistreat her. She has little influence on his decision to be a good man or behave like a “King”. This decision is one that the man must make in his own time and within himself.
A woman can try to raise her man and she will be up for the struggle of her life. Why, because this is not her role. She did not birth him so it is not her place to make him into a man.
Contrarily, a man or woman can make their partner better people, or help them to grow in life. In fact that should be one of the primary benefits to being in a long term relationship. You both influence one another positively. However, the idea that a woman should hand hold a grown man through life or through his growing process is ridiculous. It should never be something that any woman is faced with to begin with. It should never be your burden to raise the man you are in a relationship with. Nor should it be expected of you by your man. That was what his parents were for. I am not dissing any woman that has taken this painstaking role on. I wish you luck girl.