Should You Keep Secrets From Your Partner?

posted by AskYnX on January 31st, 2011 at 5:35 am

Shhh 140x140 Should You Keep Secrets From Your Partner? Is it important to tell your mate or significant other everything about yourself? Is it wrong to keep secrets from them? Some will say it’s important that your significant other know EVERYTHING from your past relationships, old or new friends, or if you cheated while in a relationship.

Others say no, you should not tell everything about yourself- some things you should keep hidden, like embarrassing moments, the number of past intimate partners and maybe things you wish you hadn’t done. Is it possible to date a person that has secrets? Is not telling considered being dishonest or lying, or are some things no one else’s business? A healthy long term relationship (dating or married) should be based on honesty, right.

Should you tell or should you keep the skeleton closet door closed.



11 Comments

  1. They should know anything that will have an impact on the two of you.

    How many people you’ve been with is not one of those things.

  2. Women tend to tell too much and men tend to tell too little.

    I agree with Bianca, if it doesn’t affect the relationship then there is no reason to disclose it.

    How many men you have been with or whether or not you cheated are not things you need to disclose.

    For men I feel somewhat different. I think if a woman wants to know if her man has slept with men in the past then that is something that definitely needs to be answered.

  3. I agree 100% with the two people above. Nobody needs to know everything about you that won’t directly have a impact on them. Like the question men ask “how many men have u slept with?” All they need to know is your status as far as health goes. No diseases, or aids/hiv than none of their damn business!!!!

    Some women give too much about themselves and it gets used aginst them in the end!!!!

  4. TheDimplePuppet

    Men can give to much of themselves as well. In some cases it will backfire in your face if or when you revile your guts to your partner. When you do its up to your partner to accept and appreciate your honesty, and move pass it. If your partner rejects your honesty and your life is now like living under a microscope. Then you will starts having regrets and the relationship is damage. You may have to take sometime to yourself and evaluate the situation if that person is worth your time.

  5. Ladies Please stop playing.
    Some stuff are important to reveal and to ask;You know which ones.Some stuff can be left out not in an effort of secrecy but because it genuinely does not concern your mate.
    But the truth of the matter is if there are some subjects that you won’t touch with your partner, he probably shouldn’t be your partner to begin with, You got girlfriends for all the lies and the fronting :)

  6. oh and BTW, if a man ask you questions but won’t respond to you, You know what to do with that.

  7. It is not necessary to tell everything. This is a partial list of things that I think both parties need to be honest about: sexual identity (some people do not want to find out too late that their woman used to be a man). Financial standing.(It is bad news when someone does not have money – or a job). Family time. (There are many family members that I like to spend time with). The presence of a STD. (Noone wants Herpes, or HIV).

  8. I think you should be honest about yourself so that a person has the right to choose if you are the person for them. Communication is key in relationships.

    However I do believe there are some things that should only be revealed if asked because if they ask you don’t want to be accused of lying.

  9. COMMITMENT! everyone has their on meaning to that word. As of me, commitment is alot like acceptance. should couples keep their past to themselves, or should the other know? yes, your significant other should know your past. If it’s the past why should your partner dwell on it. it’s the past, move on! Men do not want to find out about their women’s past from another man, not saying that you telling any better. Same as females, esp if it’s not something they could smile about. I want to know about my man’s past. I don’t want any surprises, and for him to move on, he must accept what he’ve done. your partner should accept you for who you are. I love you all, and I want to see everyone happy, single or taken. good luck! :)

  10. I THINK THAT YOU SHOULD BECAUSE IF U REALLY LOVE SOMEONE AND U DONT WANT TO HURT THEM U WOULD KEEP THE SECRET TO YOURSELF…. BUT THAT ALSO GOES 2 WAYS YOU CAN TELL THEM AND B FREE OF YOUR CONSCIENCE AND NOT HAVE ANY SECRETS OR LIVE N GUILT KNOWING THAT THE PERSON YOU LOVE YOU ARE KEEPING A SECRET FROM THEM….

  11. As stated above things such as medical status, financial status, whether you have a boat load of kids and a ship load of baby mommas, a registered sex offender, convicted felon or murderer. Things of that nature can really affect a relationship. However if you slipped up and cheated but still want to be with your mate and is making an effort to make them happy then I say keep it to yourself. Not everyone can handle that type of honesty (although we think we can). The number of sexual partners is not important so long as you are screwing each other only.