Sistas, Speak With Your Wallets

As hard as it is to believe, a whole year after the trailer for this film first hit the internet, people are still talking about the garbage that is Diary Of A Tired Black Man. Now, I started not to give this movie any time and space on my site, but I see that I must just to talk about how much I hate it. For those of you who haven’t yet had the pleasure of seeing this modern day hate movie aimed at Black women, you can see clips of it on their official website. Word is it is also playing in selected theaters across the country. I happen to have had the opportunity to talk to the writer of this film, Tim Alexander, personally. We spoke several times by phone last year and he even invited me to some function he was attending aimed at dialoguing with Black women about the content of his movie. I passed on accompanying him to this pow wow with Black women because I knew what Tim was up to and I had no plans to help him.

Tim Alexander knows that the only way he can sell this low budget UPN reject of a film is through Black women. Even though the film is about brothas, he knows the cold hard facts. If nobody is gettin’ shot or there’s no rapper in the film, most of them will not go see it. That leaves Black women- angry Black women. Though the movie apparently rallies hard against the ABW, it is the ABW that Tim Alexander needs in order to see his movie turn a profit.

Mr. Alexander is crisscrossing the country meeting with Black women and talking to Black women in an attempt to get them to go see his film. Tim even told me the interracial aspect of the film was a front and that the film was really about Black love. I cannot verify that because I haven’t seen the film. What I do know is that his site’s messageboard is filled with Black woman hating topics by him and all the other brothas there. Tim even says- and I quote, “The reason why we cross the color line is for peace. Give it to us and we will not cross over”.

I have no intentions whatsoever of questioning or caring why this man crossed the color line, I do know that this man will never get a dime of my money and I implore other Black women not to support this film either. Black women are responsible for films like Love Jones, Daddy’s Little Girls and Love & Basketball becoming hits. We support Black love stories with our pockets and deep pockets they are. Show your distaste for films like this by not supporting the filth. Seeing as this film is in support of Black men and White women, let them be the ones who go out and support it. Let’s see how much Tim’s film makes depending on these two groups of people.

Speak with your wallets sistas. Don’t support music, movies or anything else that devalues you as a Black woman. Even better yet, do not buy music or see films by Black men who do not have Black women on their arms. A lot of Black male singers and actors make music and movies aimed at the Black woman, yet they don’t have Black women on their arms. If these men are so in love with other women, let those women see their films and support their music.

50 Comments

  1. Speak with your wallets sistas. Don’t support music, movies or anything else that devalues you as a Black woman. Even better yet, do not buy music or see films by Black men who do not have Black women on their arms. A lot of Black male singers and actors make music and movies aimed at the Black woman, yet they don’t have Black women on their arms. If these men are so in love with other women, let those women see their films and support their music.

    Taye Diggs immediately came to mind. Taye rode to fame off the back of Black women and the romantica Black comedy genre that sistas support so often. Yet now he has nothing but negative comments to say about us, simply because his last two television shows failed. Shows that had him wifing and loving mostly “other” women. This is what he thinks of us. If we can’t support and put mone in his pocket he has no use for us at all.

  2. DOATB is aimed at Black women in the sense that it supposedly is telling us that all that is wrong with our relationships is our fault. Brothas are let off the hook and are portrayed as victims with Black women as the victimizer. Whites of course, at least the women, are their saviors. Imagine the mother of the racist nation that enslaved your people and was used an an excuse to kill you and your family is now portrayed as your savior. Just wow, amazing. Black men can continue to abuse Black women like this mentally because we have empowered them to do so. By pledging our loyalty to them we let them know no matter what they do or say to us we will always be here waiting. Well not me and mot many of my friends. We have spread our wings and have embraced men period. We no longer have to worry about those who hate us because most of us have been fortunate enough to find those outside our nation who do love and most of all RESPECT us.

  3. So I completely understand not going to see films or support artists that devalue black women. However, I don’t think it makes any sense to not support artists who fall in love with other women in their personal lives. It’s one thing if they are like Wesley Snipes and refuse to make films opposite black actresses. However, I don’t believe that just because someone dates or even marries a woman of another race, they hate black women. One thing doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with the other. I also don’t believe that all black women date other men because of the lack of black men. Maybe some people just date/marry people they connect with and fall in love with despite race. Boycotting people’s work because they choose to be open-minded about love just proves how close-minded you are.

  4. I don’t know why it seems that they wanted to make it a response to Diary Of A Mad Black Woman (since they chose a similar title), did they really think the movie was downing black men? In Tyler’s movie, the savior of the mistreated black woman is a brother. The movie had nothing to do with downing black men, since the lawyer of the woman (Tyler) was a good black man and the woman’s new man (Shemar Moore) was another good black man too. In Madea’s Family Reunion, the savior of the sista with 2 kids is a brother (boris kodjoe). It’s unfortunate how we are blamed for everything and constantly stereotyped and downed by some brothers. In music we’re objectified and disrespected, in movies you hardly ever see a black woman with a black man anymore, it breaks my heart, I don’t think I have the courage to watch this movie even for free on the net, the trailer was enough.

    As for boycotting black men with non-black women, I think it depends. I won’t boycott Dave Chappelle because I know love is love and he never dissed his sisters for being with an Asian woman. The man praises Oprah and Maya Angelou, Erykah Badu, no he’s still one of us. However, Taye Diggs blamed us for his show being cancelled when we’re the one who made him who he is today, Wesley downed us as well, so they’re on my BOYCOTT list forever.

  5. But you know what ladies? Let’s not give to this movie any more attention, don’t talk about it to anyone cause that will create buzz, and that is all they want. Personally, I will not tell anyone about it, neither women nor men, I don’t know how popular it is but I want that crap to stay unnoticed and die. The only bad publicity is NO PUBLICITY. So remember that. It’s in our best interest to NOT talk about it and not spread the link on other websites. And I wish no black woman had allowed herself to play in that movie, I understand that bills need to be paid but they should have seen the bigger picture and how it’s gonna affect us and THEM as sisters. They could have offered to pay me a million, I’d say no to their money like Dave Chappelle.

  6. [quote comment=”8485″]I won’t boycott Dave Chappelle because I know love is love and he never dissed his sisters for being with an Asian woman. The man praises Oprah and Maya Angelou, Erykah Badu, no he’s still one of us.[/quote]You have no idea how wrong you are sista. I have loathed Dave Chapelle for years and let me tell you why. Some years ago (pre-Chapelle Show) he was on some late night show and he was telling jokes that were pretty much bombing. As a matter of fact they were laughing at his jokes bombing when all of a sudden Dave outta the blue to save his act starts hurling jokes about Black women being on welfare with multiple children. The audience and host nearly feel quiet. At best their was only uneasy laughter as even the White folks knew that he had singled Black women out to attack because his other jokes had failed. This Black animal attacked us when all else failed. In his mind the Black woman was always a dependable choice to ridicule but it backfired on him. I have told this story a million times. It was then I wiped Dave Chapelle away. He no longer existed to me and he was a nobody then. I didn’t know who he was married to and didn’t know he was married at all for that matter. But once I did know it was easy for me to see why he felt so comfortable making fun of us. His woman was Asian so you know he wasn’t going to talk about her and her people. He wasn’t gonna attack White women cause White folks won’t allow that mess. Black women however are easy prey as we have no one to protect us and our image.

  7. [quote comment=”8488″]You have no idea how wrong you are sista. I have loathed Dave Chapelle for years and let me tell you why. Some years ago (pre-Chapelle Show) he was on some late night show and he was telling jokes that were pretty much bombing. As a matter of fact they were laughing at his jokes bombing when all of a sudden Dave outta the blue to save his act starts hurling jokes about Black women being on welfare with multiple children. The audience and host nearly feel quiet. At best their was only uneasy laughter as even the White folks knew that he had singled Black women out to attack because his other jokes had failed. This Black animal attacked us when all else failed. In his mind the Black woman was always a dependable choice to ridicule but it backfired on him. I have told this story a million times. It was then I wiped Dave Chapelle away. He no longer existed to me and he was a nobody then. I didn’t know who he was married to and didn’t know he was married at all for that matter. But once I did know it was easy for me to see why he felt so comfortable making fun of us. His woman was Asian so you know he wasn’t going to talk about her and her people. He wasn’t gonna attack White women cause White folks won’t allow that mess. Black women however are easy prey as we have no one to protect us and our image.[/quote]

    OH MY GODDDDD!!! I can’t believe it!! Mr “Block Party” did that? I’m too throooooooough with the man oh my God I’m so shocked this can’t be possible. Stephanie, that just broke my heart. I’ve never heard of that, I don’t think anyone really knows that if he wasn’t as famous as he is. Gosh!! You know that D.L. Hugley cracked jokes on the Rutgers sisters on TV too during the Imus situation? Lord I’m so sad right now.

  8. We’ll I really don’t care nothing about Dave Chappelle but I saw some of that stupid so-called movie and I say some because I have enough of it and I’ll never lay my eyes on it again. Diary of a Mad Black Women was not degraded black men at all. Like Chante said the Savior was a Black Man and the lawyer did not leave Kim for a white women it was another black women. But that’s beyond the point because it was still wrong. But anyway what I’m really saying is IT’S GARGABE, IT’S A WASTE OF TIME WATCHING IT. I KNOW REMEMBER I ONLY SAW SOME.

  9. You know that D.L. Hugley cracked jokes on the Rutgers sisters on TV too during the Imus situation? Lord I’m so sad right now.

    Down Low Hughely just did that for publicity, yes of course it was still wrong but as you can see no one has really paid any attention to it nor him. Actually no one cares for him so he thought he’ll say something idiotic about the Rutgers women to gain publicity.

  10. [quote comment=”8491″]Down Low Hughely just did that for publicity, yes of course it was still wrong but as you can see no one has really paid any attention to it nor him. Actually no one cares for him so he thought he’ll say something idiotic about the Rutgers women to gain publicity.[/quote]

    You’re right and I’m glad he’s still a nobody! But it’s pathetic how they attack their own so easily. How can they look at their mothers straight in the eyes? LOL @ Down Low. Those guys don’t understand, who supports Denzel Washington? Who supports Will Smith? Why are they still on top? Who shows major love to Tyler Perry? Who are their most avid fans? They better wake up.

  11. Chante yes it is pathetic and it’s sad too and he also played himself by sounding stupid. He said that they (Rutgers) don’t wear make-up and the first time he saw them with some on was at the press conference. Their BasketBall players for god’s sake. What are they suppost to look like supermodels to play basketball? I guess they suppost to get their hair done and put on make-up to play basketball. What a Dummy!

  12. self-hate is what these responses represent. not unlike the comments the women were making in that trailer.

    maybe you should give the BROTHA a chance. before you bury him. and Chappelle is a man. not an animal. you want respect? be respectful.

  13. i bet if it had gabrielle union in it dissing on ll cool j or idris elba, we’d all fall in it

  14. [quote comment=”8495″]self-hate is what these responses represent. not unlike the comments the women were making in that trailer.

    maybe you should give the BROTHA a chance. before you bury him. and Chappelle is a man. not an animal. you want respect? be respectful.[/quote]
    Dave Chapelle is hardly a man. Chances are my criteria for being a man and your criteria are somewhat different. And Chapelle gets no respect from me. He showed no respect to for any Black woman when he used us to degrade for a cheap laugh.

    No, I am not that stupid a woman. Respect and back Chapelle just cause he’s a brotha. Whose brotha is he cause he sure isn’t mine?

  15. [quote comment=”8495″]self-hate is what these responses represent. not unlike the comments the women were making in that trailer.

    maybe you should give the BROTHA a chance. before you bury him. and Chappelle is a man. not an animal. you want respect? be respectful.[/quote]

    :stop: You must give respect to earn it boo. And who could love themselves more than I do. :brownsista:

  16. if you’re a sista, he is your brotha. all black men are and vice versa. just because he doesn’t fit your criteria, he’s not less than what he is. my criteria for a man is being 18 and male. i have no list of prerequisites in which females have to meet in order to be women. because i cannot tell a woman how to be a woman. there’s not one woman in this world who can tell a man how to be a man…with all due respect, vice versa.

    and if Hughley didn’t say that he was gay, then don’t call him down-low. respect others.

    and RIP stack bundles.

  17. Stephanie I know that’s right he aint my brother either cause my brother is not like that.

  18. Why zillz are we to respect men who don’t respect us? Where does this madness come from and why is it only taught to us? You can’t get brothas to respect a sista they feel is aginst them. Chapelle, Hughley and Diggs have openly expressed their disdain for us, women- their so called sisters. I cannot even watch that Hughley tape. What he said hurt all Black women and he did it because he knew he could and for just another cheap laugh at our expense. No, no, no. It is time sistas wake up and leave these TOXIC men alone. They are destroying the psychies of Black girls and women everywhere.

  19. and if Hughley didn’t say that he was ***, then don’t call him down-low. respect others.

    Right and those ladies don’t have to wear make-up either to play Basket Ball either. So since they’re ugly he’s gay everybody hurt. :thumbsdown:
    I guess they should wear short skirts and high-heels too when they on the bb court huh? you start it and we finish it.

  20. Tired of what? Black men lost all power and respect when they sold their own people into white slavery over 400 years ago. Since then, the world has witnessed the castration of the black man (mind, body and soul), the destruction of the black family and the degradation and rape of the black woman. We have since lost our men to this inhumane process and the black woman is left to sustain an entire race, all on her own.

    And this is no secret to the world over. Black men are feared, pitied, or hated – never respected.

    In your home, if you are not the breadwinner or main decision maker, your woman will never respect you (this crosses all color lines).

    If your woman doesn’t feel safe with you (mentally, physically, financially, spiritually) she will never respect you (this crosses all color lines).

    A non-black woman can never respect a black man because she will never understand you. Don’t confuse your so-called “peace” or uninhibited sex with respect, love and understanding. Remember, all it takes is a call to 911 for her to have you annihilated.

    Black men do not have the gull to stand up to the white man. Instead they have joined them in degrading the black woman and perpetuating negative images about their own people. Once you remove the black woman from the equation, you will have destroyed the black race! I will NOT be supporting this film!

  21. I was just looking at a closer look at the movie poster..isn’t the lead male ‘The Haitian’ from Heroes? (luved the show, but disgusted by the fact that the Heroe/Villian is was labeled that before the gave any other information about him or his character)He was also in another UPN looking, lowly produced movie Phat Gurlz with Monique.

    Now I can understand wanting to be a ‘working actor’ but choice in material should play a major factor in the decision making of ones career. Heck, he could even feel the same as the ‘writer’, but even with stirring up controversy, he sure hasn’t figured out where he could a solid following.

  22. i see what you two are saying, but what you are not offering is a solution or a way to uplift or overcome and move forward. you rather stew in a heap of anger. and as such becomes your stereotype and as you are afraid of, your image and others perception of you.

    neither one of you said anything about respecting a black man. more of the same talk. more of him being less than what he is. just everything about black women playing the victim. if anything that type is pitied, and MAYBE not respected. sickening…

    i dont know everybody in the world, and nobody in germany, zimbabwe, or bangkok has said anything derogatory about black men being pitied

    beauty is a determined through opinion. i can be ugly to you. u can be beautiful to me. (i know all of you are fine) that’s your opinion, again vice versa. but a man having sex with another man isn’t opinion. and saying anything other than that is slander.

    what dl did was for a cheap laugh. did you ever think why he did it? he’s a comedian. he does this for a living. he takes pop culture and make it relevant to the ear to keep his name out there. that’s him. he hasn’t changed in years. he has clowned black men, black women, whites, asians, gays, fat, short, tall, and small.so y the hate now? was it as harsh when he was clowning other races? and why does he deserve your respect…because 1 he is a black man. and if you desire respect from black men, you have to give. if he felt that they weren’t attractive to him thats his business he has nor you the obligation to find anybody attractive. 2 he was expressing his right to free speech…3 if you feel that you are above him because you didn’t say that stuff about the rutgers team, recall a time when you have said something about somebody that didn’t sit favorably … in fact, recall when you called dl gay.

    but if a man isnt gay, you dont call him gay. we were all raised better than that. and while us black men are constantly battling the world as well as the psyches of everybody who could possibly want us to fail and coming home to such talk, and such unfavorable conditions…

    some individuals have your mind concluded that the way things are…are engineered by black men.

    pfft…

    that’s socio-economic and geo-politics.
    in the willie lynch letter it explains the demise of our race is to put black men against black women and watch themselves eat each other alive. starve them with poor education. feed them with hate.

    some individuals already believe that black men have abandoned black women.

    nevertheless, i do see your perspectives.

    how can you believe that in a nation built on the idea of forced-religion, cultural genocide, and white supremacy, and slavery, that THIS is created by black men?????

    police brutality, genetic high blood pressure, diabetes, AIDS, liquor stores in the hood, Watts and LA Riots, SAT’s and other standardized testing, affirmative action,bloods, crips, latin kings, chuck berry and little richard music becoming elvis’s music, more black men in jail than in college, maury povich shows, black wallstreet, the flavor of love, that leprechaun video on youtube, and not a one black person on Happy Days, Benson, Diff’rent Strokes, the Katrina aftermath, immigration reform, and no healthcare or social security…you really think this is all in exploitation of blacks BY blacks???

    thats why they killed King. he respected everybody. he was aware and understood the only way to move ahead is to move up together despite what’s was in front of him, he looked ahead.

  23. [quote comment=”8497″]i bet if it had gabrielle union in it dissing on ll cool j or idris elba, we’d all fall in it[/quote]

    But she didn’t and she wouldn’t. All of this is just hypothetical. Female comedians crack jokes on “men” they don’t attack the black man specifically on national television, even when their jokes bomb.

  24. [quote comment=”8517″]i see what you two are saying, but what you are not offering is a solution or a way to uplift or overcome and move forward. you rather stew in a heap of anger. and as such becomes your stereotype and as you are afraid of, your image and others perception of you.

    neither one of you said anything about respecting a black man. more of the same talk. more of him being less than what he is. just everything about black women playing the victim. if anything that type is pitied, and MAYBE not respected. sickening…[/quote]

    But you’re not offering a solution either, the way some sisters worded it was implying that the black man has self-hate issues, basically saying the same as you. So if they’re playing the victim, what does that make you and the movie producer? The MOVIE is blaming black women for everything, this is the last straw so what reaction do you expect? What if there was a movie with black women dating outside their race and blaming black men for it using all the stereotypes possible?

    What DL Hugley did was during the Imus situation, and on national TV, it could only make him look ridiculous and a sellout. He dissed them when they were already down. YES DL can use his free speech, just like Imus or anybody else can, but the people he offended with his free speech have the right to whoop his ass too. Do you know how black ppl would have murdered Monique if she was dissing Isaiah on national TV right now? How many white comedians dissed the white man during Imus or Kramer’s situations on national TV? Exactly. They crack jokes on whites all the time, but obviously none of them singled out those 2 white men on national TV during those two situations. Nobody cracked jokes on Justin Timberlake during the NippleGate situation. That’s how united white people are in a white vs black situation.

    I personally never said a black man shouldn’t be respected “because all black men ain’t shit”, but look at the context of this, we’re talking about black men disrespecting black women such as Wesley Snipes or in this movie. So you can’t expect no praise. Just like I wouldn’t express black men to act cool if they were blamed for a black woman dating exclusively white and blaming black men for it. Do I respect Denzel? Do I respect Tyler? Do I respect Boris Kodjoe? Do I respect Blair Underwood? Do I respect Will Smith? Do I respect my fiance? Do I respect my father? My grandfathers? Absolutely 100%. It’s a matter of context.

  25. wow @ these comments. it’s a MOVIE! made for entertainment purposes only! if i saw DOATBM dvd in blockbuster, i’d rent it! lol. why not?! because it’s giving a perspective as to what “we” as black women do in relationships? hmm. we all supported Waiting to Exhale, which what? gave the perspective that black men were cheaters and drug addicts?! why cant we support this? and as far as Taye Diggs, lol his show probably DID fail because he didn’t have “us” as an audience. I mean, I know I didnt watch it! so there may have been some truth to his statement. and Wesley Snipes, didnt he work beside Sanaa Lathan? she’s black no?! and with Dave Chappelle! loll. almost ALLLLL comedians crack jokes about black women or the black culture PERIOD! so if we’re going to penalize him, penalize EVERYBODY! oops then we wouldn’t have entertainment!- And I dont care what any of them do in their PERSONAL lives. if they choose to date outside their race, so be it! Did we not support Serena Williams because she once dated a white dude? that’s ridiculous. let’s not, NOT support somebody because of who they date or fall in love with.

  26. lol and why does it seem that we only support black actors who date black women?! lol. as soon as we find out Tyler Perry’s dating a white woman, ummmmmmm, i bet he wouldn’t have as much “support” as he does now!

  27. Damn, guys! First off, none of us have seen the movie in its entirety…so none of us really know what it’s all about. Also, I must say that even though I date out of my race at times, I do love black men (as well as respect them). I date for who a man IS, not for the color of his skin. I can’t expect anything less from the black men out there.

    I think we are confusing people who date for status(people who are so wounded emotionally by social issues that they refuse to face their fears by acting out vindictively)with people who are simply in love. This movie may explore that, maybe not. But blaming all black men for this issue is just as bad as someone assuming I have 10 kids, talk ghetto, and have no education simply because I am a black woman.

    What we need to realize is that our reasons for having so much pent up frustration and anger with black men are reciprocated by black men. But they point the finger at us…we point the finger at them. It is all rather juvenile and I am kind of sick of it.

    Also…if a man (a real man) is going to allow his opinion of me to be swayed by a low-budget 1-1/2 hour drama…did I really need him in my life to begin with? Also…if a man can’t see my beauty, education, sacrifices, and sensitivity (regardless of his race) then he is not developed enough for me and Barbie can have him. Life is not a competition ladies…we are wasting our time claiming that which was never ours to begin with.

    (Sorry for the rant…we just spend so much time on this, lol)

  28. i did offer a solution: give him a chance. i didn’t know that you actually SAW the movie. how was it? did it really depict what you said it depicted? were there any special effects? can i get the bootleg? when was it released because i didn’t know that was release yet.

    if you did see the movie and if does insinuate that black women are the cause of everything wrong, then that’s his opinion. atleast you would’ve gained some insight about WHY he produced such a movie and wants everybody to see it. i refuse to make such a claim on a trailer!

    i’ve never made the black man the victim. if anything, what i’ve typed here maybe novel in length but it always preached one thing: open discussion and open-mindedness. i’ve used the terms h*, b***h, and ni***r in my life and i’ll most likely use them again. if one writes individuals off before their vision is realized, we’d get nowhere as a people. and i do admit my part in that because i’m “telling” you rather than “showing” you. and hence this circle of finger-pointing.

    but, for example, we all champion malcolm x. but before he was a radical nationalist, he was a drug dealer and thief. so a chance was given Mr. Little and he had a vision and it was realized. I’m likening the Malachi Shabazz to Tim Alexander based on stature. They are worlds apart as far as content. But the basic principles are the same.

    what i see time and time again is the modern black woman promoted as a harbinger, damn near savior while the black man is demoted to a step-stool, or court jester. i do admit that being a male, i most likely cannot see the mental and visual atrocities that a woman can (and vice versa) but that’s where the respectful dialog would begin. i would hope that one day we can talk in a more uplifting manner. and i do believe that will take open discussion and open mindedness on both sides. otherwise, we’d continue go in circles.

    i attributed this conversation (and others) to more global/national problems within our race because they are all related. other races don’t have the same issues as us. and we seem to be only race that fights itself. thanks for giving me the chance to voice my view on things.

  29. :brownsista: MY FELLOW BW our image,identity,fate,
    happiness is NOT up to BM—it is up to us individually & collectively as sistas,women, educators,trail blazers,caretakers,etc. There are many BW who use & abuse us—they do not love us. SUPPORT & LOVE THOSE PEOPLE WHO DO LOVE US (physically,spiritually,etc.). Let’s stop wasting time on foolishness & foolish,destructive people & situations. JC/Philadelphia

  30. CORRECTION: There are many BM who use & abuse us—they do not love us. We BW need to support that which support & show love to us (BW).
    JC/Philadelphia

  31. This movie is another attack on the Black woman and her image. Though I have not linked it, go to diary of a black man dot com and then go to their forum and tell me again this movie isn’t about Black female hatred by some of the lowest Black male scum to walk the face of the Earth. The writer and director of the movie himself posts on the site and doesn’t hesiate to spew venom at sistas either. So my question is, why would Black women suport this hatred? Why do we give unconditional love and support to men who devalue us every chance they get and then demand that we support that devaluation?

    Sistas must learn to do something they have been taught to never do and that is look out for her own best interests. To hell with the community and the race and all that foolishness you have been force fed. How can you alone save or serve the Black community when the other party (Black men) seems to not be as interested as you are?

    Sistas are not crazy, we know what we see and feel. We know how our images have been drug through the mud by our own men. We see how they either devalue us in their music and movies or ignore us by using foregin women and by foreign I mean not Black.

    This devaluation has spread world wide and the Black woman’s image has never been more low. We have been reduced to either whores or fat ugly mammies and many of us have internalized this. If for no one else we must stop the madness for our daughter’s sake.

    Think outside the box sistas. Stop sucking up to Black men because you have been convinced that no one else will have you. Stop supporting any and everything they do that doesn’t involve you and your image.

    As a Black woman if there is no benefit to you then don’t support it. Don’t buy it, sell it or rent it.

    Oh, and don’t support that light skin only bullcrap either as it is another form of racism practiced against Black women. Fair women have always been used in lew of White women but as we see now even the light skin sister has been booted in favor or Asian, Hispanic and White females. By demanding Black beauty be show in it’s realistic form we help elevate Black beauty and Black women in general.

    :brownsista:

  32. There are trifeling black men and trifeling black women. Trifelingness comes in all races and sexual orientations as well. I hear black men and women complain about each other all the time but no one’s taking any personal responsibility. But I will say that this man has as much right to make this film as you have to speak against it.

  33. I didn’t say he didn’t have the right to make it Nova, only thet we women don’t have to go out and support it. Hell he make a bomb if he wants to but I’m not gonna be the one to set it off. Let the Tim Alexander’s of the world do what they will, but as Black women we will do likewise and send him the message loud and clear that he will not pimp us in the process. We will not allow him to mentally destroy us and take part in that destruction. No. Intelligent, aware Black women do not do this. Btw, complaining and anger is what people who have no power practice. I have quite a bit of power and exercise it by writing and informing others. We Black women aren’t as stupid as some may think 😉

  34. The majority of the comments, and the hatred displayed in this blog entry is why black men go elsewhere. Somebody says something about Dave Chappelle, and the woman who supported him “immediately) pulls her support without checking out any of these claims and began to call him names like black animal? Isn’t this the pot calling the kettle? This whole discussions is hypocritical and a perfect example why many black men feel that its simply easier to date outside of their race. Get it together women. You sound just like Taye Diggs. Blaming somebody else for your shortcomings…Maybe its not us, maybe its you…

  35. [quote comment=”8608″]The majority of the comments, and the hatred displayed in this blog entry is why black men go elsewhere.[/quote]Comments like yours aren’t worth responding to but to clear up your BS I must.

    We all know what you wrote is a lie.

    Black women are like trained seals. They have been well taught to pander to Black men and say whatever they think will make Black men want and love them. This is why you always hear sistas talking about they want only a Black man. But not just any Black man, they want a dark skin Black man- a chocolate brotha. Sistas say this thinking that if they constantly let brothas know how much they want them, then brothas will want them back. It hasn’t worked though and it never will.

    On the other hand, when was the last time you heard a brotha say he only wanted a sista- much less a dark one?

    Diary Of A Tired Black Man is written by a Black woman hater. His own words on his own site prove this to be true. He has every right to make his movie and even to hate us. But we will not support it.

    Why is this causing such drama? I tell you sistas, the minute you wake up and realize the true power you have others who don’t have your best interest at heart will become fearful. Such is the case with the above poster.

  36. Black women are also the only people on the planet not taught to act in their own best interest. Most guys I know didn’t like Terry McMillian and were so happy when her man turned up gay they felt she desrved to be lied to and betrayed by a man. They did not buy her books or see or movies. They in essence were acting in what they believe to be their best interest. Black women should do the same. Don’t tell us to support this film or anything else that doesn’t show us in a positive light.

  37. What I found the funniest about this film is that the author had to create the most extreme situation possible to sell to the public. The Black guy is literally perfect. He is financially secure a good dad and he put his (then) wife into a big fancy house. Can anyone tell me how many Black men they actually know like that? All the clips I have seen are designed to attack women and thuse get get them into the theaters. Interracial topics always move in this direction and always leave Black women feeling beaten and defeated. I do not waste my precious time anymore. We need to take the focus off of men and put it on ourselves. Keeping our minds and bodies free of anything that taints our spirit is essential to healthy living. Stop seeking the love and attention of Black men and just seek love from any man who meets your standards and respects you. Life is too short to be stressed out all the time. I wish all my beautiful Black sistas peace and blessings. :brownsista:

  38. So I completely understand not going to see films or support artists that devalue black women. However, I don’t think it makes any sense to not support artists who fall in love with other women in their personal lives. It’s one thing if they are like Wesley Snipes and refuse to make films opposite black actresses. However, I don’t believe that just because someone dates or even marries a woman of another race, they hate black women. One thing doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with the other. I also don’t believe that all black women date other men because of the lack of black men. Maybe some people just date/marry people they connect with and fall in love with despite race. Boycotting people’s work because they choose to be open-minded about love just proves how close-minded you are.

    Erika at June 11th, 2007 around 5:15 pm, Quote

    Totally agree with you Erika.

    I’m afraid though I’ve agreed with this blog on some things, it seems to be turning into the “world v the black women.” DAMN. We can’t spend the rest of our lives bitching because the world isn’t fair. I’m a strong, educated black woman and i’ll be damned if i’ll sit around letting others’ perceptions of black women apply to me, instead i’ma go out there and create the image i want people to have of black women.I refuse to let a brother falling in love and marrying a non-black woman reflect on my self worth and that’s the attitude we all should have. Like the so-called race card the ‘black woman’ card is being thrown down too often which only serves to dilute its effect. Can we get some constructive criticism/alternatives of the perceptions of black women up in here?

  39. If you want another prspective then please give it on your site. My concren and well being for Black women will never die as most of what I have done online is to pay tribute to Black women who are devalued on a daily basis. And just like the race card is a made up term by Whites to deflect attention from the racism we know exists, the black woman card term you just coined is designed to do the same when it come to the racism and sexism we experience from our own. And considering the amount of utter nothingness that is posted here daily, a few posts with substance should not bother you so much but if it does, the same door you came in through just so happens to swing both ways.

  40. [quote comment=”8608″]The majority of the comments, and the hatred displayed in this blog entry is why black men go elsewhere. Somebody says something about Dave Chappelle, and the woman who supported him “immediately) pulls her support without checking out any of these claims and began to call him names like black animal? [/quote]

    I never called him black animal. If I did, quote me.

  41. Lalita why do we always as a people try to sweep everything up under the rug? That is why so much garbage has gone unchecked for years. Man I liked this blog before but I love the bits and pieces of enlightening topics that have been thrown in lately. I loved the topics posted a few weeks ago and was sorry to see the site go back to just pictures of celebrities. I felt a little let let down. But seeing as this site is devoted to Black women why not cover a multitude of topics having to do with us. I hope to see makeup and fashion added soon. Keep up the good work Stephanie and Debra. Some of us appreciate being able to come to a place that doesn’t portray us as ghetto queens.

  42. These comments make my head spin…wow.

    Check out “Rock My Soul: Black People and Self Esteem” by bell hooks. Zillz especially!

  43. :brownsista:

    I love this blog because it provides black women a space to vent but also uplift ourselves.

    As for Diary of a Tired Black Men…it’s TIRED. And I’m tired of black men complaining that black women have attitudes, are gold-diggers, unappreciative etc.

    For a while hearing the bashing and seeing how brothas depict us in the media made me angry. But, now I just don’t invest in that anymore. I’ve cut out videos, I don’t see degrading movies and I just surround myself with positive art and music that makes me feel good. And as much as I would love to be with a black man, I’ve opened my mind and heart to other men of other races. I’m on the road to peace.

    Therefore, this DOATBM is another example of the garbage that sadly, black men in the media are putting out to make money on degrading black women.

    Which tells me the creator has no talent.

    And as for D.L.–what goes around comes around. He disrespected those girls on Leno by calling them ugly and nappy-headed. Well, his little Studio 60 show didn’t get picked up for another season.

    I guess God don’t like ugly, huh D.L. ? 😆

  44. Y is this movie making you so angry? its just a movie. when you talked to him did you ask him and give him a chance to explain why he feels the way he feels? or did you tune him out while he was talking becaused you had already judged and formed your opinion about him? i agree that black men mistreat women on a constant basis, but women do the same thing.

    if you really check out the message board on Alexanders site you would read about how women do the same dirty foul things that men do, but i dont hear you giving respect to the black men that are the opposite of the ones you hate.

    black people, men and women, are persecuted every day by someone of there own race. but what do we do about it? we come to places like this, attack and argue with eachother, further proving the reason why we will never be able to unionize and solve this problem.

    dave chappelle talks about everyone, taye diggs does not get to choose who he works with and wesley snipes has done many movies opposite black actresses. he also stopped dating black women because of his experiences with them. not because he woke up one day and said “hey, i think i’ll stop dating within my race today”.dl hughley has been talking about people since his career started on BET, every type of person. so why the surprise? you say dave chappelle is not a man because you feel he direspected black women in a comedy skit? was he talking about you specifically? there are countless women AND men living on welfare with multiple kids on purpose. alot of people live like that by design. shun their responsibility to protect themselves because they know there is someone who will put together the pieces of the life they broke. while the rest of us work for all that we have. do they deserve the same level of respect as us? i dont feel so. it would be ok if his jokes at that time had been about successful black people? probably not, because it seems, by your ranting here, that you are doing the same thing Alexander seems to be doing..by saying “They are destroying the psychies of Black girls and women everywhere” are you not blaming him or generalizing black men for the condition that some black women are in? that makes you and Alexander one and the same person.

    there are many many black women that are on top of their worlds, not because they didnt have to deal with people like the men you speak of, but they are on top IN SPITE of….

  45. :brownsista:

    Sometimes the only way to learn is to listen even to what seems to be the most ignorant statement or point can someways show us/me what is really going on, so I tend to listen a little bit before I speak.

    Now I have saw a clip of this movie and I didn’t really care for what was going on.
    There seemed to be a stigma of peace = white women and for me that can no way depict the type of relationships I have with my husband, my father, grandfather, brother etc…

    I grew up with black men and women showing eachother care and dignity even if relationships didn’t work out it doesn’t make an entire race negative.

    We all know golddigging, loud mouth negative black women just like we know non working, lazy, baby making black men.

    I couldn’t possibly say that I will date outside of my race because of those reasons or……blah..blah..

    I personally would have to look into my soul and fiqure out why am I attracting this type of man.

    As a black woman in the United States it’s hard for me to try to compare black womens personal struggles with white women there is no comparison. There’s tooooooo much negative history.

    We’ve come so far for any person to take away from me, my mother, sisters, nieces, grandmothers..etc. successes.

    I stand proud and my black man stands proud beside me.
    For black men who do not care to date us for whatever reasons so be it.
    Not all biracial relationships are based on anger or resentment for your/his race. So I stand strong and will continue to deal with honesty, love, laughter and a noble way to hold my head.

    I cannot be broken by ignorance nor swayed by hate.
    So brothers who need to make films such as this one continue, you may have some valid points but I will not support any film that degrades me or black men.

    It’s happened far too much in films, songs, commercials, history books, religions…and the list goes on.
    I know too much history and present day venues to be poisened.

    Sista’s & brothas stand up and love eachother.

  46. :brownsista:

    Something else I’ve learned.
    When you treat a woman well.
    Make her feel loved, wanted and one big word Secure, she will will do ANYTHING for her man.

    So maybe that factor should be looked at as well.
    That is the one thing that slips men’s minds.
    We as black women have grown up and or around a lack of security.
    That is a big thing!!!!!!

  47. I’m not suggesting that we sweep things under the carpet or that this site keep to celeb pics. Not at all, and like i said i agreed with some of the previous socially aware articles posted here, what i’m saying is if we want to change the image of black women we have to take positive steps. Calling women to boycott black men because they happen to be married to a white/non-black woman is just a resentful step. It does not further empowerment at all and can easily, even if mistakenly, be interpreted as bitterness.
    I appreciate that this movie is seen to devalue black women and I agree that if it does, black women should not venture to support it, unless they have a more critical mind and hope to develop their own opinion- but that is a different matter. My quarrel lies with this post and other such posts laying too much weight on other peoples’ opinions (such as this movie). Proposing heavy-handed comebacks suggests that black women value themselves in direct correspondence to other peoples’ views. We do not need other people to validate our self-worth, we should be able to value ourselves without weighing heavily into other peoples opinions of us.

    The race card exists, so too does the terrorism card, the feminism card and this card- politically sensitive issues can always be easily abused and continue to be so. Of course all these issues are real but there are always some (the minority) who use it as an excuse or resort to it too quickly. And don’t tell me every time race has been brought up or governments advance policies using terrorism as a reason it has been legitimate. In the same way, if we continue to scream ‘trampled on black woman’ in every damn situation well how in the world does that advance us? I’m not saying ignore the situations which devalue us what I’m saying is there is a scale of these situations and we shouldn’t take too much stock of those on the lower rung and get into childish sparring matches, proposing comebacks that don’t solve the problem but turn an important issue (empowerment of black women) into something petty. We can’t afford to have points fights. I am in full support of discussions and debates about issues affecting black women but if we are to positively fight bad/stereotypical images of black women we must do so by creating and promoting the preferred image of a black woman, not by reducing an important issue to a pay-back challenge.

    It is a pity you aren’t open to different views Stephanie because I believe that is exactly what we need; debate and discussion. Of course if you post on issues such as this you will always get varying views but if you are only interested in creating a like-minded community then I believe I will take up your suggestion because I’d hate to waste my time plain hating on the world with no constructivism involved.

  48. lalita we both are obviously quite passionate about our views. I don’t plan on changing and neither do you. I guess we are just gonna have to get along anyway 🙂

  49. I love the way you two handled this topic. 🙂 You both have very valid points. Gave a sista something to think about. :thumbsup:

    But please don’t leave the board. This board need to see diffrent views, by educated black women.

    Good luck to you both!!! 🙂 🙂

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