Cyber Hugs and Happy Monday Brown Sista Fam. Hope your weekend was great!

Reading all your comments about Bee and RhiRhi lead GT to write about this week’s topic: success. Success is a quality of life issue and it means different things to different people. Everyone has their own standards of what is enough for them.  Some people’s aspirations are high, some low and some are in between.  Some people are happy with meeting societal expectations: a job, kids, a house, a car, a man. But is it ok to want more than that? Our society tells people to dream sky’s the limit; but then when people attain astronomical success some people can’t wait to knock you down a peg or two.  It’s not funny but LOL. For GT success simply means accomplishing personal goals that will help you live a life with as little regret as possible.  

Raise your hand. What is success and what does it mean to you?  


  1. It means being who you are and doing what you want. I find that people who are doing “them” are the most successful. If you trying to measure yourself by other’s standards you will not be a success but a follower. You must step outside the box and for some that is real hard. Being a success means forward thinking and being innovative/creative etc.,

  2. Success for me is just being happy and content. Having a strong stable life with husband and children is how I measure my success. If my man and children are happy then I have reached nirvana. It’s all about family for me.

  3. GT, I have to agree with you. Success is for you to define, not others. Either you will never reach their definition of success, whether it is above it or below it. You have to define your own success and achieve that. Success is achieving goals that you have planned for yourself. Although sometimes you can have unexpected success. I call those blessings.

    I feel that Iam successful in some things, but still working on others. I am happy and content with the successes that I have achieve thus far, with more to come.

  4. Cococure says:
    “Being who you are and doing what you want.” That is a spot on description of success! Loves it! :hifive:

    Sashay_Shante says: Family does it for her. And having the love and support of family makes success all the more sweeter.

    Torya says: Unexpected success are blessings. Love it! And that’s a keeper!

  5. It’s easy to ‘peg’ and knock down those who are in the limelight. Heck, it’s a part of celebrity. Gossip rags don’t exist for no reason. But I’m not trying to excuse it. It’s just that when you are on that level, you’ll be like Tupac with ‘all eyes on me’. LOL. There are countless of others who have achieved great success (monetary-wise) like these superstars, yet we never hear of them. It is the nature of the business in which they reside. As for the reasons as to why they are ‘pegged’ constantly, well, there are a bizillion. Again, not trying to excuse the flaming hate or over-extended praise lavished upon these starlets…it just is what it is and I think success, rather, their success has little do with it. It’s more their ‘PRESENCE’ in the limelight and whatever association comes along with it that draws forth such opinions; not just with Beyonce and Rihanna but any and all celebrities. Celebrity is a wholly different beast especially in regards to how ‘success’ is viewed. If we recognize the success and talents of others who aren’t so exposed, like Mae Jemison or the president of Spelman College who’s name I forget or other African-American Females who are doing things big and gaining recognition—if we recognize their success, there’s a different reaction to it altogether.

    How do I view success? Personal goals and endeavors. I agree with most in that it’s how you define it for you. Usually success and money come hand in hand, but take for instance someone like Zora Neale Hurston who died in poverty and whose works weren’t until later recognized. Her success both monetary-wise and acclaim-wise wasn’t discovered/highlighted until after her death. But what was success to Zora back then? Possibly getting her work published independently; being perhaps the first African-American female to do so. She didn’t have the full support of her peers, was actually critiqued within an inch of her life for not aspiring to those notions set aside and displayed through the works of the Harlem Renaissance regime. Did she feel successful? I’d hasten to guess that yes, she did, because she achieved those personal/professional goals set aside for herself.

    I say all of that to say this. I was an English major, that’s why I used her story as a reference. LOL. And also to say that yes, success is defined from your own perspective, ultimately, no matter what society might ‘deem’ successful. In today’s day and age, money=success. And granted while that sentiment has pretty much always rung true, we get it even more, heck, more and more in the music biz. And yes, I’m referencing back to Rihanna and Beyonce and other superstars like them. It is no longer just enough to create music and perform; one must diversify and commercialize themselves, rake in as much money with endorsements and sponsorships, attach your name to every song you sing, create your clothing lines and makeup lines and hair product lines, take part in philanthropy establishing yourself as a beacon of good will toward the community, etc. That is success in the music biz now. Do well on all levels; possibly even go beyond surpassing success in music (your initial claim to fame) to other endeavors (reality tv, clothing lines…yeah Puffy I’m talking about you LOL). Success in music has changed; again I highlight music because that’s the example you put out there initially. All and all though, it comes from personal perspective and what ‘you’ want as a person to achieve.

  6. I believe success, as you mentioned, is defined by the person, like beauty in the eye of the beholder. Success to me is being a great mother, grandmother, teacher, friend, and follower of Christ. Success means to be being true and real to myself. Having a pure heart is success to me because it just something about a person who is real and other people feeling it. I love this posting very much because I am excited to learn what makes others happy. Keep up the great work, BrownSista!!!

  7. I think mostly everyone has hit the nail on the head w/ success. Like those before me I consider success being true to oneself. I also think success means steppin outta the box from what others think & going w/ what YOU want. If you constantly live your life going by the standards that “society” has set for success… u will go insane. As for people tryin to knock others off their peg once they reach success… I think people do this b/c maybe they feel that the way the person accuqired(sp?) that success was not righteous or the person who has gotten the success didn’t work as hard as another person who hasn’t been notice. However, it is always best to be successful in the way you see fit b/c @ the end of the day you can’t please everyone.

  8. Here’s a TIP! WHat do you want to do? What do you aspire to be? Who do Aspire to be? Have you done it? How are you gonna do it? Don’t wait! I have met some bitter people in my life. They felt dreams were-dreams and not something they could do. As a result, they are bitter,evil and hard to get along with. Also, I have learned that everything you will do will not be popular. Your life is not a democracy :booty:

  9. Success is doing what you love to do, being who you love to be and being able to survive that way.

  10. I think success is being a decent human being and treating people the way you desire to be treated. It is knowing that their is a higher power that if we just let go he will lead us in the right direction. It’s not always easy to do that especially with the myth of the strong black woman. Thinking we have to do everything for everybody it’s kind of hard to let GOD and let go. But we can do and you will find out that you will be a much happier person spirutally, physically, and emotionally. 🙂

  11. Surabi:

    “Success like beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” I know that’s right!

    Blame it on the Rain:
    As far as knocking people down a peg or two…people love to hear success stories about people who turned themselves from nothing into something…however it’s the exceeding of people’s expectations that some people cant handle. It’s like people want to be able to use a measuring cup or a measuring stick to determine how successful said person should be. But the truth is that only God can determine that. So at the end of the day you can’t please everyone.

    Cococure: You are darn right about your life not being a democracy. Some people think they have the right to have a vote in what you do with your own life..

    Jazzy: What you said is the truth. Whoever can find a cure for the millions who want to do what they love and make a living off of it will be a bajillionaire. :brownsista:

    Keep it coming sistas…and fellas…lol

  12. @ Stephanie and GT, why was my comment removed? Was it too long? 🙁

  13. @ Stephanie and GT, please excuse my latest comment. I am obviously gone BLIND today. *sighs* Seriously, I mistook Dee Dee Warwick for Dionne Warwick on another site. I tell you, I am getting old and possibly losing some of my faculties. LOL Feel free to delete THIS comment as it has nothing to do with anything related to this post. SMH @ MYSELF! LOL

  14. Bria.

    Treating people the way you want to be treated is a form of success cause we all want to be treated with love, decency, respect, and dignity.

    Lord only knows how many of us forget this simple premise.

  15. Hey Kanyade…

    Not sure what happened…but I didn’t delete your comment…

  16. @GT

    Oh I agree w/ your point & it is very true :iagree: … SOME ppl are like that.. they want a person to become successful, but once they surpass the limit of the success that they think the person should have… they flip out & want them to fall. But I was also tryin to give another view on it… besides the obvious LOL 🙂 . Either way you are right on target :hifive: .

  17. I think we all pretty much agree on what success is. Something I wanted to add is something about the key to success. I remember in high school I would always hear people repeat the phrase “knowledge is the key to success”. I even had people sign my year book with the phrase and I myself wrote that same phrase in my friends’ year books. But what I’ve learned since graduating high school and living thru some struggles is that success is about not giving up. In my eyes, the only way to achieve it is to never give up on yourself. In the face of adversity, confusion, pain, struggles in general we have to keep our eyes on our prize and we will achieve success. You can have all the knowledge in the world, but knowledge alone won’t pull you thru the trenches. You’ve got to have heart to keep going.

  18. i just had to comment…for me success is being able to have a career that i enjoy going to each day, being able to afford what i need and being comfortable enough to buy what i want, being able to find someone who challenges you to be better, being able to raise healthyand good kids, having a happy marriage, and finally being comfortable enough with myself to know what i should let go and what i should try to change…

  19. Yes Katrina.

    Having faith in things unseen is a driver in success; cause achieving goals and success is not easy.
    Knowledge and Wisdom applied=success. :brownsista:

    Ogosh..Thank you for your comment…especially the part about having someone in your life to challenge you to be better. We all could benefit from that!

  20. This is why I love this blog. I know I am not a sistah but because of topics like these, I read this blog and I occasionally post.

    Anyways, to me success are these things: First, allowing God to be the captain(not co-pilot) of your destiny WILLINGLY. Without Him, you can’t even breath on your own so you might as well allow Him to guide your life and if you do, then you will be successful in the plans that He has for your life.

    Secondly, having relationships with real friends who have your best interests. Who support you in fulling the destiny in your life. Friends who will keep it real with you because not everyone has that. Believe it or not. Plus, we were made for relationships so having quality ones is successful.

    Finally, having a life that impacts your environment around you. And not just for noriety sake either. I love speaking on entertainers, but the real stars are the ones who impact communities, doing the “grunt work” that gets no publicity but benefits everyone. Also, if you can go to bed every day with peace in your spirit and soul then you are truly successful. Again, thanks for this entry and Stephanie, I know I say it a lot but you have a great blog.

  21. Hey Kanyade, when I logged on today one of your comments was being held for moderation. I approved it and I think that’s the first one of yours above. We never delete comments for length. I delete spam and vulgarity but never a comment for being long or anything like that. Sometimes comments get flagged as spam and don’t show up immediately. They must be approved by me or another author.

  22. Curtis, this blog isn’t aimed at Black women- it is about Black women and anyone who digs us. So please speak up- we need more men doing something besides looking at the pics. 😆

  23. Its the ability for your inside and outside to be clean, respected and balanced. I feel like to Us Black folks Success is about money, awards,how many cars and vacations we take, how famous you are and therefore unless your bling bling shine from La to Ny to you can’ t say anything about [insert celebrity name] And it is ignorant.

    I think success is really subjective.To me success is the complete satisfaction with yourself and your actions, reaching all the goal you set for yourself , and be able to sit back enjoy life as a whole and still shine just by doing…Nothing, being the best person that you can be.

  24. Dark Sista.

    Yes. :iagree: Sometimes as black people we have a very limited scope of what success should mean. But as you can see from the comments; success means different things to different people. And it should cause we are not all the same; The Universe has a plan and an intention for everyone.

    I’m not against criticism; cause it makes the world go round; but its the type of criticism. For GT there are essentially two types: constructive criticism to build you up ..and the tear you down, you ain’t squat, so you think you special?, type criticism. And let’s not even front here; most of us go for the latter cause it feels good for some people to tear others down. Oprah said that once you exceed people’s expectations; people get downright nasty. If that’s not the truth then GT doesn’t know what is.

    GT has her days when I may see a celeb and think “not nice” things about them; but then I’ll check myself and ask myself where that energy is truly coming from. But obviously that perspective requires taking the high road. A very unpopular road I might add. :brownsista:

  25. :brownsista: :iagree: gt i totally agree with your opinion. the sad part of it all sistah’s have the hateraide more than any race out there! i myself love when a black person does well in life as long as it is legal and within reason. i’ve been brought up with love and support others no matter what they may choose to accomplishin their lifetime.

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