I have never seen the word Black love being used so much on urban blogs as I have this past weekend. In case you have been under a rock, this weekend rapper T.I. and his long time woman/baby moma Tiny were married. Ghetto love was celebrated all around the world as ghetto girls everywhere wished they could find themselves their own personal T.I. to swoop them off their feet. Me? I’m still confused as to what there is to celebrate?
T.I. and Tiny have dated for several years and have several children together. She stood by him through cheating, while he was in jail, and every single public shenanigan he was involved in with other women. When people around her called her stupid, she stayed. She is championed as the ultimate ride or die chick. Who in the hell wants to be that? Who in the hell wants to be that old lump of coal that will hold on to a man even when he is constantly cheating on you? Who in the hell wants to be that flat used pillow that he comes home to when he feels like it because he KNOWS it will never leave? Who in the hell wants to be the woman that stays with the man that publicly embarrasses her by being caught with another woman who is known to be a whore? Is this what a ride or die chick is? If it is then I will pass on the title.
I always thought a ride or die chick was a woman that raised you up when you were feeling down. A woman that stood by your side when others were against you. A woman that was there to pick up half of the weight of life when it became too much for the man to carry alone. I never knew that included in the definition of a ride or die chick were the words: doormat, gullible, tolerable, and the most impressionable word of them all…. Suffering. Yes, that word suffering must be included. Because for every new car, piece of jewelry, trip around the world, I’m sure there was a disappointment, another woman, or some sort of slap in the face, literally or figuratively to match. Are there no longer any limits to being a ride or die?
Yes we often see couples like T.I. and Tiny and think that this is Black love and how beautiful it is. We see them holding hands, cuddling at public events and him throwing lavish parties for her and think that she is so lucky to have found real black love. She is so lucky to have found real love.
What about respect? What about him respecting her so much so that he would never want to hurt her? What about him respecting her so much that the idea of him ever cheating on her is an impossibility? What about him respecting her so much that he would never cheat on her with any woman much less someone with less virtue than her such as a Flavor Of Love contestant like Hoopz? What about him respecting her enough to never even be seen in public with a woman like Hoopz? What about him respecting her enough that he laughs in groupie’s faces when they approach him?
While we celebrate them for having achieved the supposed enchanted Black love, that we all have been conditioned to think is so hard to attain we need to be praying that they will have Black respect. Do you think that T.I. would have stayed with Tiny if she cheated on him? Do you think that if she is ever publicly seen in an intimate situation with a sexy male celeb whore that he would say “aww its okay babe. You know I’m your ride or die. I will be there with you through all of your rendezvous” and simply “get over it”. Do you think if she was in jail for a year that he would have been faithful and never touched another woman the entire time? The correct answer to all of these questions are “Hell No”. If you had any other responses to those questions then you are a fool. It is clear that the lines of the double standard have been drawn in their relationship. This is what makes it difficult for a sista like me to see them and eww and aww at their “Black Love”. A “Black love” without respect. I am not impressed by their version of “Black Love”.