T.I., Tiny And The “Black Love” Nonsense

I have never seen the word Black love being used so much on urban blogs as I have this past weekend. In case you have been under a rock, this weekend rapper T.I. and his long time woman/baby moma Tiny were married. Ghetto love was celebrated all around the world as ghetto girls everywhere wished they could find themselves their own personal T.I. to swoop them off their feet. Me? I’m still confused as to what there is to celebrate?

T.I. and Tiny have dated for several years and have several children together. She stood by him through cheating, while he was in jail, and every single public shenanigan he was involved in with other women. When people around her called her stupid, she stayed. She is championed as the ultimate ride or die chick. Who in the hell wants to be that? Who in the hell wants to be that old lump of coal that will hold on to a man even when he is constantly cheating on you? Who in the hell wants to be that flat used pillow that he comes home to when he feels like it because he KNOWS it will never leave? Who in the hell wants to be the woman that stays with the man that publicly embarrasses her by being caught with another woman who is known to be a whore? Is this what a ride or die chick is? If it is then I will pass on the title.

I always thought a ride or die chick was a woman that raised you up when you were feeling down. A woman that stood by your side when others were against you. A woman that was there to pick up half of the weight of life when it became too much for the man to carry alone. I never knew that included in the definition of a ride or die chick were the words: doormat, gullible, tolerable, and the most impressionable word of them all…. Suffering. Yes, that word suffering must be included. Because for every new car, piece of jewelry, trip around the world, I’m sure there was a disappointment, another woman, or some sort of slap in the face, literally or figuratively to match. Are there no longer any limits to being a ride or die?

Yes we often see couples like T.I. and Tiny and think that this is Black love and how beautiful it is. We see them holding hands, cuddling at public events and him throwing lavish parties for her and think that she is so lucky to have found real black love. She is so lucky to have found real love.

What about respect? What about him respecting her so much so that he would never want to hurt her? What about him respecting her so much that the idea of him ever cheating on her is an impossibility? What about him respecting her so much that he would never cheat on her with any woman much less someone with less virtue than her such as a Flavor Of Love contestant like Hoopz? What about him respecting her enough to never even be seen in public with a woman like Hoopz? What about him respecting her enough that he laughs in groupie’s faces when they approach him?

While we celebrate them for having achieved the supposed enchanted Black love, that we all have been conditioned to think is so hard to attain we need to be praying that they will have Black respect. Do you think that T.I. would have stayed with Tiny if she cheated on him? Do you think that if she is ever publicly seen in an intimate situation with a sexy male celeb whore that he would say “aww its okay babe. You know I’m your ride or die. I will be there with you through all of your rendezvous” and simply “get over it”. Do you think if she was in jail for a year that he would have been faithful and never touched another woman the entire time? The correct answer to all of these questions are “Hell No”. If you had any other responses to those questions then you are a fool. It is clear that the lines of the double standard have been drawn in their relationship. This is what makes it difficult for a sista like me to see them and eww and aww at their “Black Love”. A “Black love” without respect. I am not impressed by their version of “Black Love”.

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  1. 1. I’m thinking who are we to judge ? What she feels is a ‘ride or die” chick or good enough that’s on her.
    2. Black Love is so seldom seen perhaps we don’t have a high standard but we are going to either try to commemorate any display of “Black Love” until we see “true love” in Black Love or we’ll scrutinize every instance of it which defeats us as a people.
    3. Would I put up with it? Hells No. But Honestly do you really think T.I. would marry a woman thats not gone put up with his crap? He far too Cocky and egotistical for that…so if he was gone get married this was the way.
    4. I will pray for them too and wish them all the best. I truly hope this was a good move for Tiny as well as T.I. and that she and he will grow as a couple.

  2. I agree that just because you have a certain standard does not mean you have the right judge someone else who has a different set of rules. But that is what we do. We judge and unless you have walked in her shoes you don’t know what T.I.have done for her. You don’t know what type of issues she has that no one but her inner circle knows about and he has not put her on blast. I am not condoning bad or negative behavior but don’t be so quick to judge someone whom you don’t know the inner goings on about. and plus he who is without sin cast the first stone.

  3. OMG! Why do ppl always do that^^^? — start talking about “LET’S NOT JUDGE”. Yeah sure, let’s not judge but that to me only means you’ve been in either of T.I. or Tiny’s situation, as the cheater or the doormat.

    I’m neither! & If BLACK LOVE, or love PERIOD is what I’m looking for in life, I surely wouldn’t subdue to being no-damn-body’s doormat!

    Soooo, like LJ said…if this is the NEW definition of “RIDE OR DIE”, then I’ll pass, and DOUBLE-PASS! If a [real] man really loves you, then he’d make it a point to prove to you and the world that he holds the highest respect for you. Things should also be 50/50 in a relationship, so when they’re not, I don’t believe you should be getting married.

    …& I’m pretty sure LJ’s post is not made to expose their relationship, but to show everyday women (BrownSista.com readers) that this is NOT the way to go about finding AND keeping true love. You must love yourself, before trying to love another. (@GREENEYEZ, this is why #2 on your list is seldom seen).

  4. We have such LOW standards today that just getting a ring is the pinnacle of one’s existence. Doesn’t matter if none of your other needs are met. This is NOT love, this is the ultimate ghetto soap opera with every single black stereotype possible: multiple baby mamas, cheating, jail, gaudy and lavish spending, drama…I mean why would I get excited about that BS! They can keep that “Black Love.”

  5. It’s hard for me to judge someone else’s standard of love. I did a lot of things in relationships that I am not proud of before I actually grew up and became a woman. Maybe he has grown up and maybe she had some issues too – but for whatever reason they decided to tie the knot and I congratualate them.

  6. Everyone has their own defining of Black love/ride ro die.So to them this is beautiful black love.

  7. Yes, please be quiet with this ‘WHO ARE WE TO JUDGE.’ Who are we to celebrate such nonsense? I’m still not understanding why them getting married is such a big deal? Yes, everybody has thier own definition of love. But why are T.I. and Tiny even being mentioned like this is the wedding of Prince Charles and Prince Diana??? I’m still stumped. SMH.

  8. When I think of “Black Love” Tiny and T.I. are not anywhere on my list…I sincerly think of my President and our First Lady. They ooze love and you can tell it’s a mutual respect for one another. Their love is not grounded on being a “ride or die” anything, but being true to one another and focused on a bigger picture, setting a good example for their children. It’s just something about these two people that…I can’t explain it. They just have “it” and it works. Both are VERY attractive people, but it seems that they are past the looks, they really care for one another. They both look at each other with love and admiration. That’s “Black Love” to me, it’s stood the test of time and they still show each other respect. No baby mothers or mistresses coming out on either side. That’s because it’s about their love and respect for one another. So I have to agree with LJ Knight, love without respect is just 1/2 of what you deserve and at the end of the day…it doesn’t cure all. No matter how much money is involved..it’s only temporary. Sadly, women will say “a man is going to do what he wants to do”, while that maybe true, it doesn’t mean that you have to tolerate it.

  9. @Greeneyez, KSH, Sweatpea

    I concur. We can have this fanciful idea of how a relationship is “suppose” to be but in reality, it’s not always pretty! There isn’t a magical one way journey to everlasting love and fortunately, many of us don’t have to explore our quest for love and companionship with a legion of public onlookers asserting their opinions at every turn. We surely aren’t qualified to JUDGE ANYONE else standard of love (because who knows what anyone does or will not do behind closed doors)? In T.I. and Tiny’s case, we surely don’t know the inner workings of their relationship and if he ever cheated, were they officially together when and if he did cheat, if she has ever engaged in any indiscretion(s), or any other intimate details – because we’re only basing our views on GOSSIP!

    I think we’re happy because whether the marriage is successful or not (and we wish any marriage success and happiness), T.I. married the woman that he has created a family with and that’s beautiful. The journey that produced this union may not be to your satisfaction but I doubt that you personally know either of them, therefore, let’s not judge!!

    Much success Tiny and T.I.

  10. How is it that we don’t see “Black Love”???!!!! We CHOOSE not to see it! I see it everyday when I see my Pres and the First Lady. I’ve seen it in Ossie and Ruby Dee, hell, I’ve seen it in Jay-Z and Beyonce! But it’s where you look. If you want to look at certain couples that are not respecting one another in the process of loving one another then that’s because you CHOOSE to follow that path. Set your standards high, expect more from yourself and who you date. Don’t settle for a lack of respect for financial gain. People are just not LOOKING, even if that means looking into the past.

  11. Every chick I’ve ever known who stayed with dudes like this A – had something to gain from it and B – were doing their own thing on the side too, which is why they tolerate the foolishness. I highly doubt she sits home crying the blues while he’s out doing what he does – especially while he was locked up.

  12. Why is it judging…..everyone is entitled to have an opinoin on a situation they see! Does’t mean their wrong or right…..Tiny and T.I are living their lives for them….not us! To each its own! I don’t know the outlines of their relasionship for me to really say my opinoin….hopefully he has grown as a man and they have a very happy and respectful marriage… Hopefully she’s learn for the things they’ve been through!!!!!!

  13. I wish them the best but there’s no way I could tolerate the foolishness that’s T.I.

  14. Wow some of you are so harsh . Real relationships like 10 years + comes with a lot of hardship , trials, and tribulations. Some people hide their problems better than others. barack n michelle had or have issues i’m sure, but we will hopefully never know. At least Ti n Tiny are honest to say, we been through some things, but love conquered all. Even biblical men had multiple women! I think most men do cheat. I don’t play that, but I know they’re wired different and it happens just look around you. It’s not just a black issue. White, spanish, and asian men do it too! The whole perfect marriage concept is a fairytale. no one is perfect all the time and women cheat and cut up too, lol! I’m very happy for Ti and Tiny and anyone else who overcame hardship and kept their family together in this day in age most people wouldn’t stay. This is not black love, but real love that’s enduring! I just hope the best for the kids sake.

  15. LIke I said, some women CHOOSE to look to certain couples and make excuses about their faults. No one is doubting they have issues, what couple doesn’t, however…those issues didn’t entail someone losing their self respect. I’m all for Tiny and T.I. working! I just don’t look to them as an example of the type of love that I would want for myself. Again, just because some men had multiple women, whether past or present, doesn’t make it right. Let’s stop basing this on “true love”, when we all know it’s not about that, it’s also about RESPECT.

  16. I usually don’t always agree w/ the poster (LJ Knight). But this time around I will have to cosign.

    This isn’t judging. She is simply stating her opinion. A opinion that many would probably agree with. Tiny has stated in interviews herself on how she felt when she saw TI w/ Hoopz… & she didn’t seem like a happy camper. It has came out Tiny’s mouth, in so many words, of how TI feels about her being her own woman & doing her own thing& you can hear in her voice that she wants to do HER, but for the “love” she does him. There was a episode on her show w/ Toya, where the girls planned a night out & Tiny gets a call from TI( which kinda got heated) which sends her home. When the ladies asked her why she wasn’t going, she explained “he doesn’t want me to” or something to that effect. Tiny LOVES that man. I am just not too sure he’ll LOVE her like that if SHE was the 1 going thru some of the mess he has or done some of the things he has. And the way he tries to keep her cage makes me think that even more.
    In the end this is not “Black Love”, it’s THEIR love. That’s the way the wanna roll, hey let em roll. In the end they are meant to be together b/c no other self respecting woman is gonna stay & I do mean stay( cause Tiny isn’t goin NOWHERE)& put up w/ the foolishness TI dishes out & takes it w/ a smile, so he did right by marrying her… he found HIS perfect match. Congrats.

  17. You speak it sister. We have lowered our standards as a whole just too damn low now a days. I think this is absoulutely ridiculous that being someone’s fool is held up as the standard. What happens when he continues the same behaviour after the marriage. Are you still riding and dying for him or do you get some esteem about yourself and realize you can do bad by yourself.

  18. A lot of bLack men definition of love, Is a woman insecure enough to stay with them throughout every single act of disrespect, I guess i don’t know how to love because that could never be me. Congratulations to them.

  19. Some of us are mistaking “Boys” for “Men”. Fortunately for ME, my father is a definitely a MAN and has raised me to know the difference between the two. For that, I’m ever grateful to him…

  20. I love a lot of the responses to this post. True love is defined by I Corinthians 13. True Love doesn’t allow for disrespect. Yes, it stays with you through hard times, but not blatant hurt by another party (love does not hurt, emotionally, physically, mentally, or spiritually).

    I am a TI and Tiny fan (individually). One thing that does irk me about the whole relationship is that Tiny seems fearful of going back into the music industry herself (something about TI not wanting her to sing anymore). I don’t know if it’s out of jealousy or if he really wants to support her. But, if music is her life, and she wants to put out an album, what’s it to him if she wants to get back into the industry? To have that kind of stronghold on her, that even her friends are scared for her to even work on a music project, or for her to have to do a secret album or collaboration is not love. That’s scary.

    Other than this, though, I don’t know TI and Tiny’s situation. But, if what you say is true, then all I can say is we teach people how we want to be treated. All I can do is pray for peace of mind and a settled spirit for both of them. I hope that each finds the love they truly seek and deserve, and that they continue to grow more spiritually healthy and enlightened. That’s the best anyone can do for them (and themselves).

  21. Why does there have to always be something negative being said behind something as positive as two people getting married.

    What Tiny has been through and what she might go through in the future is her business and no one elses!!! How did I know an article like this one was coming.

    Some things are better left unsaid and this article “to me” was totally unnecessary. Why can’t we just be happy for them?? We all have taken something we don’t deserve and if we haven’t already we will someday. Let them live their lives and we focus on ours.

  22. I totally agree with the author of this article. Ladies, we need to raise our standards and our price. Only then will sistas be bak on the level with women of other races. When we settle like this for the occasional ghettofabulous LV bag, luxury car or something he can afford to give to anybody at anytime, we will be used by our men then sit back and watch them marry, honor and repect every other race of women on the planet. She will recieve more of the same treatment under the guise of marriage. SMDH!

  23. I was thru when I saw video of one of their wedding parties. At a club with girls on poles and money being thrown at them. Tiny was all dressed up standing in a balcony and nobody was really thinking about her. I must be behind in the times because that just didn’t celebrate love to me. It was tasteless.

  24. Alright I’m kind of lost here, TI & Tiny get bashed for their wedding celebration because Tiny’s threshold is stronger than some think it should be. However, AK & Swizz Beats get a congratulations in another post. What makes their wedding celebration more blessed and deserving of congratulations? Both are equally ghetto, if it isn’t baby mama drama, its my boo had to do a bid but I’m sticking with him drama. Yeah, everyone is free to judge but when it comes down to it, well personal decision trumps it all. We don’t live in a perfect world.

  25. I’m a little puzzled why Tiny & T.I. are being bashed but Alicia Keys and Swizz Beatz were celebrated. In my opinion both marriages were birthed out of serious dysfunction.

  26. I am extremely happy for this couple and I truly hope that their marriage lasts forever. I know of a young lady that just recently married a guy that cheated on her for years. She told me that she did not care that he cheated because she could not live without him (I dated him for a while but realized he was no good). Once she said those words to me, I realized that I never want to be that woman… EVER.. Life is too short for that ish. How about a week after they got married, he called me…. I just ignored him. The point I am trying to make is that sometimes guys like that, never change…

  27. I don’t think T.I. and Tiny are the intended standard of black love. I believe we were invested in their relationship and its outcome because as celebrity personalities, we like them! Many of us got beyond Tiny’s physical and saw her heart, or what seems to be a really sweet girl and a good friend or just knowing how difficult it CAN be for black men to make that legal and spiritual committment. So many of our black celebs don’t readily marry their “ride or die” chick…Diddy, Nelly, LeBron and the list goes on…so we applaud when it happens…of course, we vividly have other examples of black love…Jay-z and Beyonce, Will Smith and Jada, Michelle and Barack, Angela Bassett and Coutney Vance, Denzel and Pauletta, Forest Whitaker and Keisha, Dwayne Wade and Gabrielle Union (controversy and all), Mary J. Blige…well, Mary might have hit him, but he’s doing wonders for her career and she deeply professes to love him, evident in her music, black love in our own lives, immediate and extended families, communities…everytime I see a brotha married to a sista, especially, when he’s in a predominately white world or have total access, I’m pleased, when I see black couples at the grocery stores, amusement parks, restaurants, on vacation or on TV…I love it! But, I also know the work any relationship takes for it to work.

    What Tiny has experiencd publicly is what many married men and women go through privately, this doesn’t make it right, just a reality…none of the people we see and hold in high esteem for their seeming public virtue is definite. Even when you know a person, you can still be shocked at negative behavior that comes to light. Tiny and T.I.’s marriage is no weaker or stronger than any marriage, IT’S THEIRS. Whatever Tiny’s motivations are for standing by “Tip” through all that we know of is a very personal matter. It is what it is…she has kids by this man, wants them grow up with their father in the home, love him and really sees beyond his imperfections and has fully accepted him, “Hoopz” and all…even tho’ I regret this is even an issue for all that she’s been through. But, T.I. will reap what he is sowing if it is true…it has been long rumored that Wesley Snipes knocked out 70% or more of Halle hearing out of one ear, his Mo’Better co-star Cynda Williams stated how he dogged her out…one of my favorite actors…black or white…a former A-list actor…making films in the netherlands instead of hollywood…now headed off to jail…his fall has been great…but, I’m still hoping for a huge comeback!!!…Ron Isley, a.k.a “Mr. Big,” cheated on his ex-wife, Angela Winbush with his current much younger “JS” wife, after Angela Winbush helped him get back his music catalogue as he stated “she helped put back together the pieces of the puzzle”…his life…dude did three years of Federal time…had to leave his young, beautiful wife and new baby and do his time. No one goes exempt, even if we never see a reversal of fortune!

    Tiny and T.I. can make their relationship even stronger…but, she’s not a fool…she’s just a woman in love with a man and “this too shall pass”…some women make the right choices when it comes to men and some of us have to learn, I know I did…someone making me feel “dumb”…didn’t lessen my love, pain or expedite my learning experience! I’m still working daily to balance my life, weed out people who have from good to spectacular potential, good points, assets, liabilities, comfort for the ultimate reality…”my reflection” that is taking time for even me to see!

  28. To LJ….I think I’m a little offended that you would make light of people wanting to celebrate black love as you call it! While these same blogs everyday feel the need to remind black women how much rich black men don’t like us or plan to marry us. I think someone said it best as an audience we may feel a little invested in Mr and Mrs Harris, Jr. relationship, through the good and bad of it (for the record they have two kids together and both have children from previous relationships) Ghetto love as you call it….I think love is love or is it?. But, if it was LaMar and Khloe you would probaly would feel that way, right? She wouldn’t be the only woman or first woman in that business dealing with cheating now would she. Is it ghetto for Vanessa to stay with Kobe? I guess I’m tryin to understand your point….Best Wishes to Tiny and TI

  29. Images are powerful. I don’t know their backstories and not a fan of either. But, two black people engaged in holy matrimony seemingly in love is a powerful image and certainly one we could use more of. I love BLACK LOVE without apology. And if others did the same, maybe our situation would not be as dire as it seems.

  30. LJ, I totally agree with everything in this article. What happened to women having standards? One thing that really bothered me abou their situation is the fact that she has a teenage daughter and this is not teaching her the correct way. This child has access to the internet and surely knows that he was chaeting on her mother. We are supposed to raise strong, independent, black women not doormats.

  31. Kobes kids will know he supposely raped a young woman as well…Nikki what is your point?

    No, we should not allow any one to treat us as doormats. We don’t know what is going on at their house now do we?

    Tiny don’t strike me that way

  32. My point is that you’re supposed to lead by example.
    Kobes kids will know too just like thousand of other men and women both famous and unfamous. Just like you said “we don’t know what is going on in their house”. Just like you don’t what Tiny would put up with. The proof is in the pudding. And at least some of the pudding has been in magazines, websites, and on the news.


    For starters Tiny HAD A VERY KNOWN REPUTATION OF BEING A WHORE AROUND ATLANTA. People still talk about her being a whore and so on and so on. It’s a reputation that she has not been able to live down even while with T.I. So why think that only Tiny is the one that had to bear the brunt in this relationship. Like someone said earlier, you don’t know what he has put up with either. We can’t make assumptions off of 20 minute tv shows and gossip blogs about what their 10 year relationship was like. She’s been with this man since he was 19 and hell yeah he had alot of maturing to do. But the key difference is she decided to stick with him during his path of maturity. And he decided to stick with her as well!!

    The difference in this relationship vs. Michelle and Barack, and (everyone else people see as stellar characters of black love) is that this relationship dirt was more so SPECULATED about being in the open. You don’t know what people go through behing close doors. My parents are married, my grandparents are married, and my great parents were married before my great-grandfather died (for years). All of my aunt and uncles are married. HELL I’M MARRIED. But I know through all those experiences of watching other people marriages THEY WENT THROUGH HELL AND BACK!! But the community would never know. My parents are the Barack and Michelle of our community and so are my grandparents. Some people are better at faking it than others. EVERY RELATIONSHIP is going to go through some “Girl if I were you I wouldn’t have put up with that” moments. And for us to sit here and bash people for the choices they make in their relationship is ridiculous.

    It may not be your cup of tea; but your cup of tea MAY NOT BE SOMEONE ELSE’S!!! I’ve noticed that women are so quick to demand unconditional love from someone but are quick to talk about what they would and would not put up with.

    Love is not this “We’re walking on sunshine” bs. What makes love beautiful is when obstacles come people are willing to fight and overcome those obstacles TOGETHER! You see people married for 25 55 75 years. YOU THINK THIS BS WITH TINY IS SOMETHING, try talking to a woman who’s been married over 50 years and see the bs she has put up with! IT WOULD BLOW YOUR MIND!

    Moral of my story: When you find that special someone, you guys are going to face multiple challenges. It’s cute to “Honey child I would never do this I would never do that” but Karma has a funny way of teaching us to Never say Never.

    Congrats Tip and Tiny. Love is beautiful in all forms an fashion!!!!

  34. My word was blocked out in the previous comment about Tiny. I was making the point that she is known for being a very “sexual” person and have been around the block quite a few times (even with his associates). And people make fun around the A all the time about Tip turning a …. into a housewife.

  35. One question
    If you do not want to judge why are you on an online blog?Do you also know that positive or negative, once you made a comment you have judged?

  36. I hope to God T.I. stays faithful. Tiny appears to have a beautiful heart. And if Tiny does get around, I hope she stopped that mess too. Peace.

  37. @ Yokesm

    The synopsis of my post was not to “Oh don’t judge” but moreso “LET’S BE REALISTIC”. They both probably went through hell with one another. Also, why judge one marriage and not others. They all probably have gone through the same thing or worse! All of these stellar couples that people do consider a blueprint to marriage, have probably been through tougher times then what is speculated about this couple.

    This isn’t mediatakeout. I enjoyed this blog because it seemed more realistic in addressing issues as it relates to Black women. We can’t congratulate the union of A.Keys and Swizz one minute but talk down upon this one. Both relationships had very turbulent SPECULATED times. Hoopz was in 2006 for this couple and if they are over it 4 years later why can’t we? Yes, we saw her in the audience recently but Tiny was also in the dressing room so I doubt there was any extra hanky panky going on. And as I stated earlier Tiny is WELL-KNOWN in the streets for being “sexually free”. This is not speculation but FACT. Also, when T.I. got arrested for gun charges, TINY WAS ARRESTED AS WELL for drug possesion (it was in her purse and no not just weed). It’s not highly publicized and I’m pretty sure HE MADE SURE OF THAT. But you can easily look it up and find it if you are in doubt. So again why write a post about a one-sided “woe is Tiny” relationship when clearly both parties have done their FAIR share of dirt which is moreso the reason why they love each other for looking past that.

    It’s a difference in settling and loving someone through some situations. A wise woman told me that.LJ said her definition of a ride or die is, “A woman that was there to pick up half of the weight of life when it became too much for the man to carry alone” and so on and so on. But to me that’s loving someone through some tough situations. LJ definition of “ride or die” can EASILY come off to the rest of the world THAT KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP as being “gullible”, “suffering”,etc. Get my drift. We can all hope for a perfect mate. But we aren’t perfect either. There is no good without evil or sunshine without rain. So the sooner that we get this concept out of our mind; the better off we will be when choosing the RIGHT person to spend the rest of our lives with.

  38. Unfortunately that’s the trade off in relationships with most athletes and rappers, you can walk the red carpet, have a lavish lifesyle, have the title of being some famous dude’s woman, in return for your dignity, dealing with jumpoff’s, and ho’s in your relationship. And YES T.I. cheated and he will CONTINUE to cheat because that’s the standard that’s been set in their relationship. Obviously Tiny knows what kind of man she has, she doesn’t care.

  39. Joflow
    losing a job, losing a parent, losing your path in life are situations where a woman is supposed to support her man, not when he decides to stick his penis in another chick vagina, so please don’t give us the “put up with” bullshit, and why the fuck are women the only one that have to do it? why do men drop a chick like a bad habit when she cheats? your rant made no sense what so ever you just tried to excuses their bullshit and it isnt cute, being a cheater is a willing act not an accident you act like he lost his job and she dropped him, why is it that people wanna work it out after they slept with the chick? Please drop that fcking mentality and love yourself more, if a man love you like he is suppose to he wont cheat and if he does and get caught he won’t ever cheat again and spend his life making up for it, not keep cheating over and over and over again, and even if tiny is a “ho” i havent seen her publically with another dude flaunting it in t.i’s face so you can shut up with all of that.

  40. @Leah You clearly skimmed through my post without a sense of understanding.

    I am not condoning this man to cheat. But I will say their relationship is a REALISTIC ONE! I’ve never had to deal with another woman in my marriage. NEVER! My husband is not a convicted felon, nor am I a bop. He has never blatantly disrespected me so what mentality I’m in. So you can miss me with that. My point was that TINY AND T.I. ARE NOT THE ONLY COUPLE WHO GO THROUGH THIS FOOLISHNESS SO WHY SINGLE THEM OUT! And I’m sure Tiny has taken him through just as many changes as he has taken her through. And yes sweetie, WHOEVER YOU decide to be with you “put up” with something and they damn sure “put up” with something about you. IT’S IN MY POST! You totally missed it. Never once said it should be one-sided. No one is perfect so why is that so hard to believe? Get your head out of your fairytale world.

    And there are ALOT OF PEOPLE WHO DIVORCE PEOPLE WHO LOSE THEIR PATH IN LIFE. Because You would “put up” with it DOES NOT MEAN SOMEONE ELSE WILL. My husband parents divorced because his father “lost his path” in life and abandoned his responsibilities (AS MOST PEOPLE DO WHEN THEY LOSE THEIR PATH IN LIFE again being realistic) and became a crackhead (this is not what most people do but this was his choice). REALISTIC SCENARIO! She decided she wasn’t sticking through it. Does that make her any more or less of a woman because you would but not if he cheated? There are alot of people who divorce people for losing a substantial amount of income (that’s the number one reason for divorce my love research it). So again, because that’s something you would “put up” with DOES NOT MEAN EVERYONE ELSE WILL!! THAT IS THE POINT OF MY POST! Cheating on someone is the most horrific thing to you, but mines is Domestic violence. I tolerate that in no form or fashion. Another woman may be financial instability. Another woman’s may be losing your path in life. Get my drift!!! It is well-publicized that one of the greatest civil rights leader of our time was a “cheater”. Does that make Coretta stupid as hell because that was not a dealbreaker for her?

    I’m MARRIED and I have NEVER dealt with my husband cheating on me, domestic violence, etc. But it annoys THE CRAP out of me that he smokes cigarettes. That’s what I “PUT UP” with because this man puts up with my “attitude”. We’ve dealt with a situation where I was laid-off and my husband got two jobs and did odd jobs (cut yards, paint homes, etc) on the side to keep our household afloat. He NEVER threw it up in my face and even encouraged me to go to grad school (which I did and graduated) while he handled us financially. I love him everyday for the type of man he is. BUT THE TRUTH OF THE MATTER IS YOU WON’T FIND TOO MANY MEN (or women) WHO ARE WILLING TO DO THAT! That can be a dealbreaker for them. Again BEING REALISTIC!

    What cheating may be to you, losing your path in life, losing an income etc may be to others. POINT OF MY quote “YOU’RE GOING TO DEAL WITH SOMEONE’S BULL. YOU JUST HAVE TO FIGURE OUT WHO BULL YOU ARE GOING TO DEAL WITH AND HOW MUCH OF IT YOU ARE GOING TO TAKE”. Never ONCE SAID you better deal with someone cheating not ONCE! Again, READ! Now if you are that close-minded that it still doesn’t make sense to you oh the hell well. And a cheater is a cheater whether its publically or kept on the low. Why contradict yourself in your own post.

  41. I just HAVE to comment on this because this article or whatever you may call it is silly as h e ll to me. Men are going to be interested in other women, men are going to cheat, that is just a fact of life. But as we have seen here and with people we know that guy that you stick by BECAUSE you really care for them, genuinely want to be with THEM, will very often wake up and be like what am I doing? When they see that the life they are chasing after isnt all that! Its sung about all the time in r&b. Just saying Ride or Die does include being able to get over and forgive the things men will naturally be inclined to do.

    If you are only going to stick by a man that has never and will never do anything wrong by you then you will never have a man because those men dont exist!!! Sorry dreamers. And that is exaxtly why so many couples that get married have been together for a while and been through stuff and already have a kid or two.

    And why is THIS NOT CALLED GHETTO when white people do it! I know a lot of white people get married to a person after years of being together and kids! Stop making everything GHETTO because blacks are involved!!!!!

  42. @ Ty

    -Complete concurence, although there are few men that do not cheat (or at least not as severely) because they are more emotionally inclined than others, but their minority is infinitesimal.

  43. Well I dont see anyhting wrong with them getting married. He proposed, she agreed and now they’re one big happy family. I do see what you mean though.

    But anyway, I’m so over this Black Love, blah, blah stuff. Get over it!!
    Some black women need to lose this false sense of entitlement they have on black men. It’s disgusting. Hop of their nuts.

  44. I agree with everything said in this article and should be applied to in most regular/normal you and me type relationships. TI is a celebrity therefore he has to face more temptation. Apparently she is cool with it. IDK how I would handle the situation,obviously he can have any woman in the world why let some other chic come and take whats yours especially when your man is a millionaire superstar; nobody will measure up after him. However, TI can most certainly find someone “better than” Tiny. It may be better to stick around in this situation.

  45. What is the old wives tales? Never get involved with a musician, this is why. Now we can add politicians and pro atheletes (oooh I cannot spell this morning)to the list.

  46. Thank you for taking the Time to answer to me , Although my Post was not necessary directed toward you 🙂
    I have 7 generations of successful marriages and relationships, I am the 8th, Women in my family have been known for standing by their men, But we are also known for demanding respectful and faithfully men, and not to settle for anything else, I stand by my point, I would never marry or date a man who disrespects me Privately or publicly, I would never trade in my integrity as a woman for someone trying to buy it, and that is who i am, Smoking cigarettes i am against but will not leave a good man for having a nasty habit, However i will not stand by and watch someone I’m dating,engaged or married to,Starts a new relationship right under my nose, and not do anything about it because i am a “ride or die” that’s ridiculous. 🙂

    Have a nice day.

  47. @ Joflow and Rene

    Thanks. Much more females agree with our feelings about the issue. We’re the ones that are realistic and dont have our head stuck in a fantasy.

  48. @Joflow

    I simply love what you wrote…while we can disagree and some very valid points have been made…what you stated is so true…sure, many of us have had great examples or learned from what we saw and didn’t want and know how to say “to the left” “to the left”…some of us are fortunate to never had been in a cheating relationship and have never experienced any sizable disrespect…I believe this, I know some women who were blessed with good men, who honor their marriage and to my best knowledge haven’t cheated on their wives, ALL MEN DON’T CHEAT…but, many women can’t say this! The “Coretta King” example is so on point. I saw Mrs. King on Tavis Smiley and she talked about her earlier relationship…it wasn’t love at first sight! What got me was that Rev. King wanted to marry a white woman and his father said no and Coretta Scott was sorta chosen for him…we’re all so flawed! We all just pick our battles. A lot of women also marry men they’re not in love with, men love women who aren’t into them as much they are into them,so yeah, the brotha ain’t no problem, sometimes it’s just plain old fashioned mutual respect!!!

    I love what is a deal-breaker for some, won’t be for others.

    One of my aunts, prematurely died from cancer…our last conversation before she became disoriented was about what a good life she had, a marriage of 35 years, two kids, all the love and fun she had experienced and if it was her time, she was ok with it. Watching her husband make excuses to get out of the house, she questioning him, just to watch him swirm, in this gentle and calm way…her coolness amazed me…I always knew all my life how much they loved each, I loved eating with them because he was the man of the house, they set the table at each meal and she would cook full-course meals after working a full-time job herself…they were always affectionate and I loved watching them tell each other about what happened, who called…they were like two grown up kids…it was obvious they enjoyed each other’s company…as an adult I learned she cheated too…dragnet and chased him on the expressway when she caught him with a chick in the car…they seldom argued, he disciplined my cousins…they played bidwhidst with other couples on the weekends, concerts with her girlfriends and she taught Sunday School, he enjoyed the race track when were kids…it wasn’t a perfect marriage…he probably cheated throughout their marriage…6 mos. after she passed, he married his side chick…the family was hurt…but, we all got over it…she’s a nice lady…whenever I see him, his realness, when he asks you how’ve you been…the gentleman in him is warming…the way he accepted my cousin being gay, while her mother was distaught at learning this news…the way he provided an example and family image that was lacking in my own life as a single-parent, latch-key kid…how he stuck by his kids through thick and thin…flaws and all…I love him still…if my aunt had left him, I don’t think his kids would have gotten over their mother’s death as well, maybe not as happy of childhood…having my aunts and uncles as role models were so important to me because as kids we weren’t exposed to adult content (their personal business), so the images were powerful and affirming…I could believe that there were good men out there, even though, it wasn’t my fortunate…not yet, anyway!

  49. I find it funny that the article about Tiny and Ti gets so much negativity when the homewrecker Alicia Keys is so positive. Give me a break!

  50. @Ty and Cynthinia Thanks for the feedback. I feel so refreshed when people take the time out to respectfully agree or disagree.

    @Yokesm I can’t speak for what 7 generations of married people went through privately as it would be impossible for me or you to do so except for the ones we were alive to witness 🙂 I don’t tolerate new relationships in my marriage either nor did I ask anyone else to. I’m kind of tired of beating the “realstic” horse so it is what it is. Thanks for the feedback as well. On to the next post!

  51. Also @Cynthinia what you touched upon was distinguishing the different roles associated with your uncle. It wasn’t until I became an adult I realized my father may be a crappy “husband” but he is an EXCELLENT father, grandfather, provider, etc. It took me a while to distinguish one from the other. I had to realize just because I didn’t like the way he and my mom interacted didn’t mean I should disregard everything he has ever done for me and the rest of my siblings. It’s power in forgiveness!


  53. Okay let’s put it all on the table. We all had our problems in relationships and some we should of ended early because we thought they would change or see that you’re the better woman. To be honest that’s a sign of weakness and fear. We too scared to venture out and find something new that’s all that is. And all that BS saying all men cheat. FUCK that, then you been fishing in the wrong sea honey. You don’t have to be stuck with that. I learnt that, if you want your happiness go find it. Because you do not have to be sitting home every night praying and hoping your man will do right. That is too much fucking headache and heartache. Why would any woman want to go through that everyday? I do not envy relationships like that, my brother was doing that to his girlfriend and she finally said she had enough because it’s not fair to her. She’s faithful and he’s not? But he got his self together when she broke up with him. Because he loved her and he don’t want to lose the one he love. But why do a woman want have to go through that? Ladies do not listen to people who said they relationship turned out alrite after the major Bullshit because they got a damn ring on their finger. Because a man tells you “I love you” doesn’t mean there is much meaning behind it. Please don’t settle because that’s all Tiny is doing because she feels she can’t get anybody higher than him. I swear we women gotta be stronger and I know it’s hard I’ve been there but we can’t be that doormat anymore just too much heartache and suffering

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