Brown Sista

The relationship is not so great, but it’s not horrible either. The best thing about the relationship is the sex. We don’t have any complaints in the bedroom, we do it all the time any and everywhere.  And my partner does all kind of wild things that’s hard to find someone else to do. We have a good time hanging out as friends we club, party and drink/smoke together; but there are no plans of marriage in the future.  I just don’t have those kind of feelings or see her as wife material. Matter of fact if the sex wasn’t so good I would have been left; but we have now been together over 3 years.  I sometimes date other people my partner doesn’t know about.  Now she’s pregnant! She wants to get married and have a family.  Only she doesn’t know how I really feel.  I know this is going to hurt her, but I don’t want to marry her.  I’m not sure if I should tell her or when it’s a good time; she is really excited about this.  Mean while I wish this was a nightmare I could wake up from. What should I do?

Ask Y and X is your daily dose of real life relationship issues, the good and the bad.  Go to www.askyandx.blogspot.com to read all the latest posts.

Dear Ask Y and X,

I love your site, I first saw your writings on Brownsista and thought how great it is to talk or secretly vent about real life situations.

Any way I have a situation I want to share and I hope you post it so I can see what others opinions are and get their comments.

I’m a 33 year old woman in love with a man already in a relationship. He isn’t aware of my feelings I don’t think. I met him through a friend at a party. We saw each other a few times again at other functions and eventually exchanged numbers. We began talking on the phone a lot about everything, he is a fun person to talk to. He told me he has 2 kids and he also has a girlfriend(not the mother of his children). I also have two kids so I suggested he attend a birthday party with me and bring his kids. Since then we hang out all the time, at least 4 to 5 times a week. He is fun and exciting to be around, and we can talk about anything. Now I am wanting more of his time all the time and want more of a relationship rather than friendship with him. He is kind, funny and sexy. Why didn’t I meet him sooner.
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Your partner clubs or hangs out frequently with his/her friend; and sometimes carries late hours. The friend is constantly asking your partner to go out but your never invited. This friend is always giving bad relationship advice. When you approach your partner about their behavior it causes arguments. But your partners friend is single, so could this be what the issue is. Can your partner having a single friend have an influence on your relationship?

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We all would like our mates to stay the same through out the relationship as the first day we met. Sometimes it just doesn’t happen.

At what pound is too much to handle? Why not after maybe 10 to 15 pounds weight gain a conversation takes place in a nice considerate manner because we don’t just wake up one morning 30 pounds heavier. How about offering to exercise together. I know the women may be a little sensitive about the weight subject, especially if after having kids. But I think the person would appreciate it better if there was a plan to handle the task together rather than insulting remarks or going out to cheat. Running away from the issue never solves anything; try resolving the issue first before it gets out of control. Again, communication is golden.

Tell me your story, have you had this battle with weight gain. Is it okay to gain weight in the relationship?

Ask Y and X features real life issues in relationships, the common daily discussed situations. For more post like this visit us, www.askyandx.blogspot.com

Have a subject you want to discuss, write me at askyandx@gmail.com

I have to address the ladies on this subject mainly because that’s where I have noticed most of the issues. Why do women hold on to relationships when it is blatant mistreatment going on. I have heard the excuse “we have been together for X amount of years” too many times. Since when does the amount of years justify why your self pride, self worth and value are discredited? Ladies you have to stop making excuses. Stop holding on to a person that is clearly not for you; or waiting to wake up one morning and see a changed person. Why is all your energy focused on saving something that isn’t worth or will not change. Kissing a frog and he turning into a prince is only in the fairy tales. For arguments sake let’s say at one point this man was your knight in shining armor and one day he changed and hasn’t been that person since then. Well clearly his feelings about you changed, whether you did something to make his feelings shift, or he just isn’t interested in the relationship anymore. What about the idea that maybe he just was that way to hook you, cause really who is a jerk from day one?
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Keeping A Relationship Interesting

MrsCutiePie said:

Well I feel I know everything there is to know about keeping my hubby wanting more and more and more of me… never wanting another woman. I make him his favorite meals when he gets home from work to wearing only panties, no bra around the house. I sometimes call him at work with my sexy voice and ask him out on a date… yeah a date still after 5 great years. I wanted to hear about what you many of you brothas and sistas do for your mate to keep the flames burning in your relationship… ? I may pick up a few more pointers!

Not literally of course- unless you’re into that kind of thing (lol). But seriously, if you were someone else and you met yourself exactly as you are today- would you date yourself? Are you dateable at the moment? What do you have to offer another person in a relationship? Are you happy with yourself? Do you love yourself? Do you need someone else to love you first?

Yeah- I have a lot of questions tonight…
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